You never know who's going to be after your neck next. "
"Yes, but you don't have Supreme Court justices endorsing revolution. And even in my own cabinet -- I'm owsidering changing my Interior . .-"
"You say you're remodeling the White House?   That's a coincidence; we starting remodeling the Kremlin last week -- before you did. We're decorating in, er, Americana. We thought it would be a nice gesture. What are you doing? "
"Oh, a Russian motif.   We thought it would be nice, too.   But we started two weeks ago.   We'll have to have you over for an official visit sometime in the near future. "
"I was planning to invite you. You could come next week.   We don't have anything to hide. " "No, I insist ..." "Well, we can settle that later but right now I have to go to the Motherland to finish some urgent business. Remember to declare the mandate and then keep inside. "
"Right.   Be seeing you. " Both rushed to their planes and immediately grabbed their special microphones which cleverly translated verbal communication into Swahili pig latin to be relayed to special receivers in the respective countries.   Nixon issued a top-priority command that the White House be immediately redone along a Russian theme, and Brezhnev ordered the Kremlin refurbished the American way.
Then they punched their return flight buttons and settled back for their long rides.   Nixon happily contemplated his new Southern (Pacific) Strategy and Brezhnev thought to himself that he would do well to follow his own advice now that he had gone to the trouble of articulating it so precisely.
At last Nixon's plane approached the Bat Cave-like entrance that was the only childhood fantasy he had allowed himself to indulge.   The plane swooped through the automatically controlled doors under the cover of darkness. The president disembarked and,happily leaped up the stairs that led directly to his personal quarters through another cleverly concealed sekrit entrance.   Brezhnev was going
through approximately the same procedures.
Home again.   Nixon switched on the light and found that we wasn't home after all.   Everything seemed so . . . so Russian.   Then he remembered his top-priority order and marvelled at how fast the work had been completed.   The first thing he did was to lock the door to his quarters from the inside.   Then he sat down and wrote:
"I hereby implement the Mandate of the Silent Majority.   I will issue the Majority's commands from my quarters and do not want to be disturbed by anyone for a period of however long I choose.   I will accept no phone calls.   Any communication with me is to be written on a piece of paper and slipped underneath the door. "
He read his proclamation over to himself and smiled his satisfaction. He slipped the note underneath the door and went to bed.   Brezhnev did roughly the same.
The next morning Nixon awoke to find a note on his side of the door. It was written in Russian.   He accepted the joke in good humor and returned a message of his own:
"Despite the Russian decor, we will communicate in English. "
Brezhnev experienced the joke in reverse and wrote a reply in the same vein.
Later, Nixon received a cryptic communique saying,  "The students at the University of Moscow are signing petitions demanding freedom of speech. Alexi. "
"Hmmm, " thought Nixon, warming up to this new game.   "That must be Spiro pulling his idea of a joke. Sometimes he gets to be a bit much for even me to put up with. Let's see, I guess the students at 'moscow' would be the Berkeley bastards. The free speech demands seem pretty tame compared to some of the shit they've been pulling, but I might as well crack down starting now." He wrote:  Put them in jail. " Meanwhile, Brezhnev received a curious memo to the effect that buildings at seven universities across ¢the country were being occupied by
students and there were riots in three cities.
This was outrageous.   They wouldn't dare.   Not in Russia.   Of course, he had just been telling Dick about how bad things were getting . . .
"Put them all in jail, " he wrote.
Things went on that way for about three weeks.   Each manifestation of dissent was handled with a "Put them all in jail" note, followed by more outbreaks and more notes.   Then one day Nixon received a different kind of memo:
"I know you are preoccupied with other things, but you did issue an order that the Kremlin be remodeled in American decor as soon as possible. The workmen are finished everywhere but your quarters and are waiting to hear what to do. "
Now, THIS wsa strange.   For the first time since he had returned from the Pacific, Nixon parted the drapes and looked outside.   He was aghast! He was in the Kremlin!   Not Washington, D. C.   But how?   The island! He had gotten in the wrong plane! But that meant . . .
As quickly as possible, he got on the "hot line" and called Washington. Brezhnev's voice answered at the other end.
"Have you looked outside since you got back from the island? " Nixon asked.
"No, why? "
"Well, you're in Washington and I'm in Moscow.   We got in the wrong planes! "
"Incredible!"
"Well, go look for yourself ..."
. . . (footsteps and an audible gasp)  "You're right.   Oh, my god! What have you done to my Russia? "
"Nothing.   I just found out about this myself.   Look, let's make a deal. If you'll give me my country back, I'll give you yours.   I'm sure we'd both be much more at home that way. "
"Okay.   I'll meet you at the island as soon as possible. "
When they arrived, the two men hurriedly traded planes -- even Nixon's face was a little red. Then they winged to their respective countries and each took up where the other had left off, the world none the wiser to their private faux pas.
Kunstler
Kunstler:   I don't condone violence as a tactic today; I don't think it does any good and it just makes kamikazes out of movement people.   It can't affect the system and therefore I think it's a bad tactic.   But that doesn't mean I'll always think that way, I know there are many times when violence is a good tactic and does have an effect on the system.   But I don't think now is that time and I hope it doesn't come to ever being that time.   I'm not against violence on a philsophical level, but on a tactical level.
I also think that the word "violence" is used by the system when it takes in picayune things like breaking of windows, overturning df cars, and even burning a branch bank in Santa Barbara, to give a coloration to the movement that the system desires the public to have --that it is composed of a lot of lunatics who* want nothing more than the good times of
18/Number Seven
trashing around.   If you're going to condemn that kind of violence then you're going to have to proportionately condemn the violence committed by the United States abroad, such as in South Vietnam, Laos, and Guatemala and so on, and not just confine it to a few broken windows.   Which are, after all, really the result of frustration and bitterness engendered by the system for generations.
btf:  Where does the Conspiracy go from here?
Kunstler
:  Well, I think the Conspiracy is a growing thing.   There really was no conspiracy before the indictment came down, but as soon as it did, the Conspiracy was born ... I hope we get many conspirators, millions of conspirators, all willing to take a role in trying to keep abreast of evil.   That sounds very religious and maybe it is, but it's a religious struggle... The establishment would never believe that.