THE KENTUCKY

KERNEL

died and worms have eaten them, but
not for love." But then who ever
Published every Thursday throughout tho College year by the student body
heard of a worm doing anything for
of the stuof the State University of Kentucky, for the benefit
dents, alumni and faculty of tho Institution.
lovo7

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL Is tho official newspaper of the University.
It Is issued with the view of furnishing to Its subscribers all tho college news
Kentucky, together with a digest of Items of Interest concerning the uniof
versities of other States and Cannda.

Things to Worry About
Tho Kentucky Association haB Installed a new $6.00 combination
FIVE CENTS PER COPY
machine at their local track and
mall matter.
has had It In operation during the
meet now going on.
mu-tu-

SUBSCRIPTION, ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR.
Entered at Lexington Postofflce as second-claaJ. FRANKLIN CORN
Bart N. Peak
J. R. Marsh
Miss Anita Crabbo
Kenneth Doris
Miss Rebecca Smith
McClarty Harbison

EDITORIAL STAFF.

s

EDITOR-IN-CHIE-

Assistant Editor
Managing Editor
Names Is Names.
Assistant Managing Editor
Franklin Corn Is the editor of The
Paragraph Editor
"Coed"Itor Kentucky Kernel.
Athletic Editor
DEPARTMENTAL STAFF.
When some of tho young men about
Department Editor
William C. Shinnlck
town como up to you and Bhake you
J. T. Gooch
Locals and LawlMiss K. Mitchell. .. .Home Economics
affectionately by the hand, slap you
Fraternities
Julius Wolf
Mechanical Leo McClain
on the hack and otherwise make love
S. J. Caudlll
Mining Miss Anna L. Whltworth. .. .Sororities
to you, you can take it for granted
Agriculture Miss Marie Decker. .. .Patterson Hall
James McConnell
that they are planning to give a subMiss Elsie Heller
Education
scription dance.
REPORTERS.
M. C. Finney
H. J. Evans
W. T. Cottlngham
Estill Woods
Miss Mildred Taylor.
"Germans at Standstill," reads a
BUSINESS STAFF.
headline In one of our big dailies.
W. J. Harris
Business Manager
Just so it's a still.
J
GREETINGS.
After reading the opening address
Fdr the flrat time The Kentucky Kernel greats you under its new name. of the Republican candidate for gov
The Kernel will attempt no apologies for ithis hasty issue nor put forth any ernor, our Superintendent of Public
promts da to what these pages shall contain in the future. It only asks you Education has in all probability lost
news- faith in the old adage, "There Is no
to .remember that the onetwho put forth this sheet are not
paper men and women, but mere students like ourselves, with the same duties Morrow."
and responsibilities and, incidentally, the same failings.
The key note of the policy of this paper will be strict impartiality as
Now the authorities say that all of
nearly as we can make it. The news set forth in these columns will be treated the dorm Inhabitants must attend the
in accordance with its Importance and the amount of space available, whether State Fare.
it be turned in by the President of the University or by the meekest Freshman
who treads the campus.
Which reminds us of the time worn
In the very beginning of this venture, The Kernel asks the
saw, "you can drive an ass to college
of every man and woman within these halls. Only a few persons can have ut you can't make him think."
the opportunity of seeing a Blue and White football team on the field; only
a few can come here and see the various workings of the University itself;
DON'TS FOR FRESHMEN.
but every high school in the State and many persons and institutions outside of the State, peruse these pages each week. It is very often through the
Don't fail to buy your campus ticknews publication of a University that outsiders form their opinions of the in- ets early.
stitution itself.
Don't delay in purchasing a uniThe Kernel's staff can not make this paper one which will reflect credit form. Your country may need you
upon "Kentucky" without YOUR help. If you know a bit of news or hear a at any time.
good joke or witticism, turn lit in. It will help mightily. And don't be in too
Don't decide too early upon which
great a hurry to knock.
fraternity you will join. You might
?et in with the wrong "bunch."
UNIVERSITY DINING HALL.
Don't fail to mention at every
what high school you attendstory concerning the UniverElsewhere in these columns will be found a
ed. That makes the Seniors look upon
sity dining hall. The dining room, or "mess hall," is a worthy institution
you with awe and respect.
and should be patronized by every student on the campus.
Don't wear a hat or cap while on the
Meals are served under University supervision, at an absurdly low rate,
and everything is done that makes for the comfort and accommodation of campus. It ds too much trouble to
its patrons. There is no profit to the institution connected with the project. raise it to the multitude of female acIt is strictly a student benefit organization, whereby good and wholesome quaintances you possess.
Don't be bashful. Everything goes
food can be procured virtually at cost
up here. If you see a girl who is a
A method of assuring the success of the enterprise has been adopted,
which is, however more or less unusual. Students have been advised that delight to your eyes, just make yourself known.
patronage of State Hall will be compulsory to those who room in the dormiDont get any information from protories. It remains to be seen whether a compulsory boarder will be a satisfessors. Consult the Seniors.
fied boarder, however Ideal conditions may be made for him. It might have
Assert yourself.
Don't be timid.
been a better plan to recommend the institution to the students, present its
Remember that a University's Freshadvantages, and put forward its claim upon their support, thus preventing
any criticism that restrictions had been placed upon the matter of personal men are its greatest assets.
d

preference.
DONT FALL FOR THIS.

cents, you've got it."
SQUIRREL

FOOD.

'

The Lexington Herald naragrapher
comments on the fact that
sharks have appeared in droves off
Coney Island. If all the stories we
have heard about that delectable place
are true, we don't know but what we
would like to spend a few weeks as a
shark In those waters, although we
don't know how much of our time we
"
would spend annoying the
bathers.
man-eatin-

Herbert Graham has requested The
Kernel to publish a statement which
will "put him right with the students."
He says that when he is seen riding
in the Public Safety auto, It isn't because he has been guilty of some
crime, but that he is merely performing his duties as a reporter for The
Herald. In the opinion of The Kernel
In the society columns of a promithat is a serious enough offense In it- nent newspaper we notice the followself.
of a weding statement In the write-uding:
"During the ceremony low
After looking at the sign of a local music was played." Probably "In My
tailoring establishment,
which por- Harem," "When Mother Locates tho
trays two young men and has the In- Rolling Pin and Lands on Pa," or
scription, "You can look like me for something of the kind.
35 cents," all that we have to say Is:
Shukespeare , says:) "Men have
"Buddy, what It takes to look like 35
p

"I've been working hard all summer."
"This book's as good as new. You
can have it cheap."
"Yes, I Intend to study hard and
cut out all the frivolities this year."
"It would be easy for me to make
the team, but I can't spare the time."
"I would be a Senior thiB year, but
the faculty put one over on me."
"Of course I remember you; I just
can't think of your name."
Ted

I

understand

your wife's

a

good cook.

Wed

She's heavy on biscuits.

killed a
A farmer In Wisconsin
chicken with a snowball. Down here
they throw highballs at the dears.
Bones Still In
ness?
Jones Solder.

the

tinning busi-

RULES

10

VOUCHSAFE

FRESHMEN'S HAPPINESS

Faculty Arranges to Keep
Tender Meat Out of
Upper Class Claws
No, dear Freshman, you need not
In
fear for those curly locks
tho breeze. Your crowned pate Is
safe. The Phrcnzled Phaculty, In Its
wisdom and might, has declared that
tho boys will not be permitted to do
anything which is not lady-likand
genteel, and any one caught In an act
that might be construed as rude, will
be a candidate for disaster at the
hands of the official executloneer, who
will do his work thoroly after tho customary hemming and hawing have
been finished.
In order that none may say that
the information bureau of The Kernel
has been derelict In its duty, here is
the complete list of resolutions passed
recently by the Phaculty for the guidance of Freshmen and others who may
be classed as humans. These rules
were furnished thru tho agency of
The Kernel's beauty editor, who is
now in Patt Hall yard getting his next
week's story. Here they are:
e

Prelude (with slow, snaky music).
The Phaculty desires to compliment
the students for being here. The numerous Freshmen are especially to be
commended, for their courage in leaving home and mother, and in the opinion of wise men, the tender ones
should be cared for and nurtured by
those who are older and have already
by
demonstrated their
a year or more in the dormitory.
1. Hair shall not be clipped.
A
Freshman is ugly enough with it.
2. In order to make the University
more home-likstudents are required
to retire to their beds or bunks or
s
as the case may be
at 8 p. m. each night. Students who
wish to study later than this may be
r
given a
extension at the discretion of the Commandant.
3. It has been reported that some
students often stop to converse with
This has been noticed sevthe
eral times on the campus. The coeds are here to study, and hencefroth
are taboo.
all such conversations
Male students are permitted to converse but not in groups of more than
one.
4. Students will be permitted to attend one picture show a week, provided that they go on Saturday afternoon
and the films shown are of a distinctly moral or religious nature. Croquet
will be permitted on the athletic field
but not on the Sabbath Day.
5. The exceedingly rough practice
of
is forbidden, also the
which has been Indulged
In for several years. Last year several Sophomores were wet and a large
number were attacked by cold feet
during the tug. In lieu of this amusement the Phaculty suggests that a
pink tea contest be held to determine
the supremacy of the lower classes.
Each class will select twelve members to represent it and the twelve
who pass the oolong most gracefully
No conwill be declared winners.
testant shall drink any of the tea,
under pain of disqualification. Tea is
very stimulating and also has a misleading color.
triple-decker-

half-hou-

safety.
7. Other
rules are
Tho Phaculty will make
to fit each individual
from tho above provided
the criminal.

unnecessary.
special rules
crime aside
It can catch

General Orders No.

1

13 September, 1915.
The following orders aro Is- Bued for the guidance of all
concerned.
1. All Cadets will inspect,
each day, the Bulletin Board in
front of tho Commandant's Of-flee. No excuse will bo accept- ed for failuro to obey orders
which have been posted on the
Bulletin Board.
2. The wearing of second- hand uniforms is forbidden.
and the
3. All Freshmen,
upper classmen who have had
no drill, will report at 3:30 p.
m., September 15, 16 and 17,
1915, to the Commandant at
the Armory for preliminary
drill and measurement for uni- forms.
4. All
Commissioned Offi- cers will report same time as
Freshmen.
5
All other men belonging
to the Battalion will report for
drill at 3:30 p. m., Tuesday,
September 21, 1915.
6. The Battalion will fall In
for drill at 3:35 p. m. on Tues- days, Wednesdays and Fridays,
and will be dismiss'ed at 4:35
p. in.
7. Men who have some phys- ical disability must present a
certificate from Dr. Pryor be- fore they will .be excused from
drill.
claiming previous
8. Men
drill in National Guard or Mil- itary School must present cer- tiflcate from Company Com- mander or Superintendent of
School, to be passed by Com- mandant.
9. All
absences must be
made up by Squad Drill. Unex- cused absences will be made up
by double time. Excused ab- senoes by single time.
10.
Squad Drill will be on
Saturday afternoons beginning
at 1:30.
11. Men who twice absent
themselves from Squad Drill,
without a good excuse, will be
dropped from all classes in the
University.

By

order

of

MAJOR UNDERWOOD:
W. B. WILLIAMS,
Captain and Adjutant.

g

r,

STAFF MEETING.

The first meeting of the staff of
The Kentucky Kernel will be held Friday afternoon at 3:30 o'clock in the
Journalism Department rooms in the
basement
of the Main Building.
Plans for the year will be discussed
and details of the system will be worked out. It is absolutely imperative
that each member of the staff attend
prevented
by
this meeting unless
something unavoidable.
This is the
most Important staff meeting for the
G.
Students who take nourishment year.
at State Hall are required to chew
J. FRANKLIN CORN, Editor.
each piece of meat eighty times. After
this much mastication it is believed FOR RENT Nicely furnished room
for two young men. 283 Bast High,
the meat can be swallowed or carried
1
home in the vest pocket with entire corner High and Rose.

*