THE
THIRTY

ASPIRANTS

ODE TO

FOR

A TOMCAT

(With apologies to Poe.)

WRESTLIICJEAM

OUT Oh, hail, nocturnal reveler,

KENTUCKY

KERNEL

Page Thre

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CANDIES
fine stationery,

CnriaMfatarINKS'
tfUUd If dlCI theme paper,

Thou who, upon my window sill,
With waitings dire my sleep dost stir
Harold Enlaw to Coach Mat When all tcrrcsti.il life is still.
Men This Year; Schedule
Dcsigncst thou not to leap
Nearly Complete.
Thence till ithc dawn glial I creep
Into the cast? Or when wilt thou perThe opening practice of the wrestmit
WITH BUGS BARD
ling squad for the ensuing year found
Me to my troubled sleep?
scantily clad athletes as- Forever wilt thou sit
about thirty
"My boy," said Farmer Brown one
sembled in the mat room ready for
Upon that ledge that wretched noise day. "I'll let you go to college. You've
work, under the tutelage of Harold
to spill?
served your .time at pitching hay, go
Enlaw. The prcv '.ratory work-out- s
forth and seek some Knowledge." Old
completed and the weeding
have been
Farmer Brown sold off his flocks and
first of Whence came that melancholy wail?
out will commence about the
sold the
shay. He sold off
next week. The outlook for 'the year
What good, what chance, what dire all the Plymouth Rocks that would
is exceedingly bright for only two let-t- e
event,
not sing or lay. "My lad, you'll not
rmen of last year's team were lost. Doomed thee it' expound that mourn- be old and bent from hoeing corn like
will be scheduled with sevContests
ful tale?
me; but be the nation's president, and
eral prominent institutions in VarThat thou forever should'st lament full of wisdom be."
ious parts of the country, chief among
With incantations dread
Young Jake quit courtng Sallic
which arc Iowa, Ohio State, Indiana,
Like the moan of the dead,
University, Cincinnati and one Or like the mingled dolorations drear Snout for the sake of education, and
Ohio
caught the noon-da- y
local out stocked
prominent southern school. The first
That forms the burning bed
up with aspiration. The neighbors
meet of the year will probably be held
The imps of Satan hear
shook their knowing pates and offered
(Continued on page 9.)
Or bad accommodations and the renit. hunks of kale, that larnin' soon would
take young Jake into the county jail.
Now Farmer Brown had not the
Oh, beast .infernal, tell me, pray,
knack of repartee or blow; but got a
Wherefore that melancholy strain? mortgage on the shack and sent young
Why dost thou hold such a lay
Jake more dough. Well every dog
1
Thy
cadences of pain? does have .ts day, and Farmer Brown
Oh, hie thee hence, I say
had his. He sailed into the General
Away and yet awayl
The entire student body of the UniStore with glee upon his iphiz. "By
versity mourns the death of its mascot, Cat, if thou woulds't depart, 'twould ding! I guess you fogey jays will stop
be a bane
your doleful whine, and not another
T. N. T., who had rapidly become the
Unto my sleepless .brain,
pet of all. During his short stay at
howl will raise against this boy of
to the
Thou shadowy beast erraaltic,
mine.
the University he brought
You said book larnin' made a
teams of which he was mascot all the That revelest in the realm of song, fool and was no good by crack! Butt
y
His pres-ecstatic.
smiles of Dame Fortune.
them there fellers up to school has
ence will be missed but the memory of
made Jake a quarterback!"
his fighting spirit will remain as a
K
When I was soundly quite asleep
stimulant in future battles.
HINTS ON ETIQUETTE
Ensconed in my amorous bed,
Coach Enlow of the mat team has Up in my window thou didst creep,
To Those Who wish to Shine in Brilbeast of stealthy
issued a call for more canddidates 'in Thou
liant Company.
tread,
(By Lord Algy.)
the 'heavy classes. Most of the aspircreAnd from that lofty iplace
ants out are in the lighter classes,
Dear Al: What should I do in a
g
Ddst open Ithy wierd face
ating a shortage of heavy material.
case like this: There is a
In lamentation drear and ghastly moan
d
who smiles and speaks to
As there would never be
Now comes the lull in the year when
me every time I see her on the camA solace unto thee,
sport fans enjoy a brief rest between
pus or over at the library. I have
the reigns of King Football and his Lorn feline of Ithe shades, uncanny, never met the young lady. Am perlone.
plexed as to what is the proper thing
successor King Basketball. This rest
Pough-oo- .
is enjoyed only by the fans for many Yough-oo- !
to do when she speaks, as I have
grid stars don their basketball togs
been brought up never to speak to
as soon as they have turned in their When breaks that howl upon the night strange ladies.
And on the ibreeze that anthem peals,
mole skins.
Yours heartbrokenly,
The first real Wildoat practice was From out )thy throat, oh, midnight
Si Slocum.
sprite,
My Dear Si:
held recently with about 30 aspirants
Find out her name and send it to
out. More candidates are expected to A tense and leaden horror steals,
Depressing, humid, drear,
report to Coach Buchheit this week
me immediately.
Joyless, and full of fear,
and the total number will probably
K
Full on my heart and a dumb sense
reach the half century mark.
Here's to woman, once our superior,
Adkins, Hayden.
pervades
Despite the loss of
now our equal.
My mind until it reels
and Lavin, the Cats have the prospect
And in oblivion fades
of an excellent year, Capt. Rdgeway,
At last, Oh, stealthy patron of the
Poyntz, Fest, Burnham, King,
shades
Smith, Rice, Riefkin, Boren,
Yee-oBarnes, are among the notables ex- Yee-opected to make a try for the regular
No longer, wretch, can I endure
positions.
Those dre, uncanny tales of woe;
The Yearling prospects are as good Say, let once more my sleep be sure,
if not better than those of the Var- And let me now, or never, know
Again (that quiet rest
sity for court stars from all over the
Within this troubled heart;
state and from all parts of the country are out trying for the coveted po- Abominable creature, hence, forever
go!
sitions on the Frosh quintette.
No longer tear this breast
And tarry not depart,
The wrestling candidates were called to practice Monday for the first Or else I'll land this shoe upon thy
chest
time this year. Harold Enlow is
again in school and will coach the mat
J. A. Estes.
K
men in addtion to being one of the
OUR SOCIETY COLUMN
team. Meets with promnent Universities in various parts of the country
will be scheduled.
What's What Around the College
K
Campus
It is predicted by a great many of
SCENE IN LEXINGTON DRUG
the elite, according to the latest re
Frosh, to Casey Jones: "Will you ports, ithat fraternity
pins will be
give me something fom y head it worn by many of ,the fair sex. We
SHE WILL LIKE IT
aches." t
might add a word or so further to the
it as a
Casey "I wouldn't have
effect that it is also rumored that those
present."
thriving shops previously frequented
-- Kby the bourgeoisie and the lower
Soph "You know that Freshman's classes and known to the valgar world
me of my typewriter!"
body reminds
as "hock shops" expect a thriving busJunior "How's that?"
iness this year.
Bright, Christmas Seals, decor
Soph "It's Underwood."
The well dressed male, according to ated Gummed Ribbons,
Tags,
K
will appear in and
our correspondents,
Cards of appropriate deDINNER TOPIC
A
large numbers about the campus in sign, a Crepe Paper Wrapping
all these will make your gift
"Do you know that I saw Helen khaki colored suits quite reminiscent
of the clothes worn in France by packages very attractivs.
kissing Tom last night?"
many of our men, who, a few years
"Did he kiss her back?"
Select now from our new and
ago, toured through England, France
a coalt on."
"Oh ,now she had
and Germany on a little party, along complete stock.
wilth such notables as ithe right Hon
Gen. Pershing and many others.
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333

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