THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

PAGE 4

PH.

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

OHIHREIk

Published ovory Friday throughout tho Collogo yenr by tho student body
of tho University of Kentucky, for the benoflt of the students,
nlunini nnd faculty of tho Institution.
The Kentucky Kernel is the official newspaper of the University. It
is issued with n view of furnishing to its subscribers nil the college news
of Kentucky, together with a digest of items of interest concerning the
Universities of other States nnd Canada.
SUBSCRIPTION, ONE DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENT8 A YEAR.
FIVE CENTS THE COPY.
mall matter.
Entered at Lexington Postofflce 83 second-clasEDITORIAL STAFF.
-- EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Managing Editor
Assistant Managing Editor
Editor
Squirrel Food Editor
Sport Editor
.Exchange Editor
Feature Editor
--

Robert Raiblo
Adele Slade
Mary Elizabeth James.
Donald Dinning
Margaret McClure
Frances Marsh

Co-e- d

REPORTERS.
Elizabeth Marshall,. Elizabeth Card, Mary Archer Boll, James A. Dixon,
Margaret Smith, Martha Buckman, Harry Cottrell, Terril Corn.
BUSINESS STAFF.
Business Manager
J. P. Barnes
H. B. Loyd
Circulation Manager
Assistants
J. Burton Prewitt, Gilbert Smith
:

WHERE LIES THE TROUBLE?
Now that the football season is over and there is a short Interval before
the actual beginning of the basketball season, it may be well to stop and
take stock of ourselves, our team and the results of the gridiron season Just

closed. The season on the whole has not been unsuccessful although more
games have been lost than won. The Wildcats have had an unusually hard
schedule, playing not only strong teams, but the strongest In the country.
Notwithstanding this, there has been an undercurrent of dissatisfaction and
dissentionamong members of the team that has not tended toward good
teamwork, and a general attitude of disappointment .visible among students
of football and alumni of the Institution who have been close followers of
Wildcat football teams In the past and that of this season. They are offering no censure for any one defeat or upon any one man or men, but are
seeking an explanation for the play and results of the entire season and the
reason for the dissatisfied attitude seemingly taken by members of the
team and their supporters, which caused seven promising men to desert the
team during the season, and provoked the question throughout the State
"What is the matter with the Kentucky team?"
No sane supporter of the Blue and White would seek an explanation for
the defeat by Centre other that the team was defeated by the best football
machine ever organized in the State. Neither would a loyal fan condemn
the Wildcats for defeats at the hands of such teams as Indiana and Ohio.
But these have been too decisive for Wildcat loyalty to endure, and there is
a current feeling that the sting of defeat could have been lessened If certain
steps had been taken. The Cincinnati game was also a severe disappointment
to all Kentuckians, bringing defeat by a team really of Inferior ability, and
again raising the question, "Why?"

The Kentucky Colonel says: "Don't
you ovoh quarrel with an angry pus-soA soft nnswnh is always best.

The Bible commands it nnd besides It
makes 'em mnddah than anything you
could say."
Professor
Melcher begs to announce that he Is the custodian of
another lady's pocket book,
(We
,
you
don't mean that exactly,
know what we mean!) Don't crowd,
girls, it contains practically nothing
except the usual powder-puf- f
and private papers, one of which is covered
with notes from an English lecture.
It reads: "Dante fell in love at the
age of nine years. Nine good heavStep up and identify your
ens!"
property.
but-oh-

Bob Lavln has learned the sorority
grip. According to Bob this grip has
several unusual features. Follow instructions and see for yourself. Grip
the left shoulder with the right hand
and the right shoulder with the left
hand then clinch. Now the question
is, who taught Bob?

Mademoiselle on Dit "You crazy
The idea of your kissing me
when you aren't even engaged to
me!"
Knight of the Lex. Drug "Well, a
man gets tired of kissing the girls
he's engaged to."
boy!

Know-it-a-

ll

best-lookin-g

before-mentione- d

The Kernel believes its mission on the campus is frank discussion of
the students' affairs; to prevent, it possible, injustice to their common cause;
to advance the interests of its "public," the student body, at all times and
in the face of any opposition. Therefore The Kernel, believing that more
should have been expected of its team during the season of 1919, desires to
seek out the one cause that worked against the success of the team and
remove that cause. If it be one man on the eleven who has prevented victory,
let him be removed. If it be one man on the Athletic Committee who has
been to blame, let him be removed. If it be the fault of a coach, let him
be removed. If it be a lack of misunderstanding between student body and
team, between Athletic Committee and team or between coach and team,
be sought out and the cause of it removed forthwith. Whether any one man may be the unconscious stumbling block of the
Wildcats, cannot enter into Tho Kernel's discussion. His Ignorance of his
fault could not remove the effects of that fault. Tho Kernel wants a winning team and ask3 that every possible step be taken to get one and to
remove any obstacle in the path to success.
Incidentally this paper desires to express for the student body its profound appreciation of tho loyal efforts of those members of the Athletic organization, its alumni friend, and especially tho team, who fought wholeheartedly to tho end and shall hold them forever in affectionate regard.

let that misunderstanding

TJio University ofj Michigan has
just hnd an impressive illustration of
the present lack of appeal of faculty
positions to those who are unnblo
to livo on education alone. It seems
Incredible that a doctor of philosophy
should reject a position In the disRAVINGS OF A MANIAC.
University of Michigan
Hold her Newt, she's headed for tho tinguished
and should prefer to retain a position
silo.
where bags of meal and sacks of
Your letter, dear, is thoroly red
bran are tho units of measure. Yet
came in tho nicotine.
It
such Is the case. Owing to the unA Bolshevik flow up tho creek
expected influx of students, it has
Where has our navy bean?
been necessary for the state univerMy cigar I smoke no longer
sity authorities to secure additional
For it has smoked so short
instructors; bo telegraphic invitations
So still it rains; the window palnB
were sent to a number of men well
To see the leaves depart.
known to possess
the requisite
knowledge and ability. One of these
0 come to mo sweet memory
was a man most excellently equipped
And find a long-los- t
sigh
For a woman's slave is a Job to crave, possessed of the degrees A. B. and
A. M. and Ph. D., and having not only
We drink. When years go buy
a broad and comprehensive knowlIn December
We sunstroke
edge of history but also a command
Summer falls in the spring.
of latin, Greek, Hebrew, Sanscrit,
A mean iflre-flwill catch your eye.
French, German, Spanish and various
1 heard your finger ring.
other dead and
He
was offered an instructorship in
I hear the night afalling
if he would come for nine months
And the sun is "Going West."
The electric "lights"
show
rifle and the salary tendered was $1,500.
The Doctor of Philosophy wired back:
"sights"
".Thanks for the offer. Have a good
I love my "cookie" best
job In a feed store, and guess I'll
My butter-cuis o'er flowing;
stick to it."
insanity.
For
By sheer application of the philFoot-Badope; You cantelope
osophy with which he is so well
With championship at sea.
equipped he could rapidly rise in a
Who wants to
rolling mill, for instance, until he
In your chest
With a "sweet-heartcould earn anywhere from four to
But the moon gets full
seven thousand dollars a year as a
So you throw the dice
head roller.
Even as a rougher,
For any point you want to
stranner-catcheor edger he could
Best throw the shoe-las- t
first.
earn more money than is paid a
FRIZZY.
profiessor and that In the
same
period for which the
LITERARY SOCIETIES great University of Michigan offered
him $1,500.
At a meeting of the Philosophians
Wednesday night a general program
Kappa Pledge Party.
wa3 given. Miss Catherine Reed gave
The pledges of Kappa Kappa Gama reading, Miss Miriam Kincheloe ma entertained dleightfully with an
sang a solo, and Miss Lucille Moore afternoon 'at the home of Jane Greg
read a selection. The committee to ory on Ashland Avenue In honor of
arrange the new Philosophian room the active chapter. The house was
was requested to act immediately, and charming decorated with white chrythe treasurer asked that all dues be santhemums
and delicious refreshpaid as soon as possible.
s
ments of ices, cakes and
in
Percy Mackaye was the theme of double, the colors ot the fraternity,
the Horace-Manmeeting this week, we're served.
Miss Esther Harris discussed Mr,
About a hundred and fifty guests
Mackaye as a" dramatist, and Miss Lil-li- e were present.
Cromwell discussed him as a writ
The hostesses were: Jane Gregory,
er of masques. He was analyzed' as Mary Elizabeth Downing, Henrietta
a poet by Miss Anna Russell Moore. Rogers, Elizabeth Hays, Lucy Holt,
The meeting was held in the new Julia Willis, Lena Withers, Sarah
Horace-Manroom.
Blanding, Polly Prewitt and Viola
At the regular meeting of the Pat Lewis.
terson Literary Society last Friday
evening the program was devoted to
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
discussion of the effects of war on lit
The Democrats at Frankfort are not
erature. George Gregory made a talk cheered by the thought that their
on "War Poetry," which he concluded "Black" days will be over when the
by reading one of the better poems ''Morrow" comes.
written about the war. Arthur L.
Press dispatches announce
Hodges gave a short talk on "Alan
is running again, but it's not for
Segeer, Man and Poet."
the presidency this time.
After the regular program a round
Apropos the old saying, "It never
table discussion was held on the coal rains but it pours," It sure poured
strike, which brought out many points when Old John Barleycorn reigned.
of interest.
The man who bought a barrel of
Plans for tho declamation contest water may not have a white elephant
to be held soon were presented by on his hands as It is pretty dry below
the secretary and names of three men the Rio Grande.
were voted on for membership.
y

hl3-tor- y

p

He-bre-

ll

"exam-a-nation- ;"

"

r,

nine-mont- h

Senior: Some of the coeds have decided that Jack Howard
man on the camis the
pus.
Many reasons may be advanced for big scores against us and dearth
"Well," growled the Freshman, "it
of victories hung on our belt. There may have been insufficient material
must have been on one of those rainy
to build a team; the student .body may have withdrawn Its supwith which
days when only the foolish remained
port; a clique may have ruled the squad; the coach may have been ignorant
out.
of the science of the game necessary for victory; the team may have been
Insufficiently equipped in suits, medical attention or practice; discrimination
"S pity,', said the, Freshman of
against essential players on the part of the faculty in class requirements,
may have altered the outcome. The real reason may be any one of the matutinal ablutions, "we can't have
soon and foil the
or a combination of them. What The Kernel, the alumni another
and the student body want is the proper reason and immediate steps taken plans of the Sophomores who believe
In "Government Issue" baths.
to prevent reoccurence of similar results.
Throughout the season the Indications of student support have been so
marked as to prevent the use of that explanation for the season's scores.
With the Centre team almost a certain winner, students of the University
flocked to Danville and gave loyal support "to their team which they could
not expect to win. A collapsing grandstand and a downpour of rain did not
lessen the volume of support accorded the Wildcats at the Vanderbilt game.
Surely the student body has been constantly behind the team. The same
may be said of the alumni. Staid business men, graduates of the University,
donned suits and went into the mud of Stoll Field on the afternoon before
the Vanderbilt game to help the Wildcats to victory in any way possible.
From all parts of the State and from many other states, alumni were sending
messages of hope and well wishing to the team.

PREFERS JOB IN ROLLER
TO COLLEGE PROFESSORSHIP.

FOOD

s

A. GAVIN NORMENT.
Louise Will ...

D.

MILL

"POINTED PARAGRAPHS"
and
"PITHY PERSONALS"
(By "Ham."
The man who said, "Millions for
defence but not one cent for tribute,"
must be restless in his grave now that
one of our consuls has had to pay ransom in Mexico. Are Mexican bandits
any different from Morrocan Pirates?
We rise to dolefully note that
though the frost is on the pumpkin,
corn juice is no longer on the sideboard.
"Simp" shake hands with Miss
"Simp Funny," also with "Ham."
The Kaiser Bhould feel very "unnecessary" about now.
Why speak of love when eggs are
75 cents a dozen.
I've taken my fun where I've found It,
I've chattered and danced in my
time,
I've had my plckln' o' "land fish"
And suckers seem easy to find.
The best type on land is tho senior;
The soph, is not left far behind,
The freshio halts 'till the money is
spent
And enjoys fish with me ovory time.
Terrible.

bon-bon-

n

n

Car-ran-

ATTENTION, MASONS.

The Masonic

Club of the University
of Kentucky will meet on the second
The first payment on tho Y. M. C. and fourth Mondays of the month durA. Campaign Pledge was duo Decem- ing
The next meeting will
ber 1. Please mako your payments be hold at 7:30 o'clock, December 10,
to D. H. Peak, at tho Business Orflce, in the Y. M. C. A. rooms:, Ma3ons of
or to Ralph W. Owen3 in tho "Y" of- all degrees requested to bo, present.
fice in Alumni Hall. .
Special business of Importance.
NOTICE.

1919-1920- .,

*