THE KENTUCKY KERNEL
FOR THE BANQUET!
can follow that first paragraph you're
doing more than I can. You see it's
Well, since every special writer and the effects of all the good FOOD we
(get that "special." That's a copy-wri- te had. "It's fact we want," is the cry.
for writing what we want when Sure, you'd rather hear Akkie's and
the spirit moves us, very much to the my opinion of this gobble-gobbl- e,
anguish of His Highnesses, John Bul- thing, for we're for truth, more food,
lock vs. Niel Plummer) Frank Hoover, and listerine.
To begin with, it was fruit cocktail.
Virginia Boyd and every one else on
the staff of the greatest of all college I never did understand why it was
papers (I have the approval of The called cocktail, probably as a relic of
Kernel concerning that last statement. the dear old days that are beyond reThey won't mind at all telling you call. Anyway, the name wasn't what
they are the best journalists of col- was worryin' me. The QUESTIjN
legian news in tht world) will write, was: "How do I eat the darn thing-ma-jigI knew the etiquette book
rave and chew thee rag over the glorious feed we wuz given free at the sez when in doubt follow the lead of
Phoenix. I don't mean the Phoenix your neighbor but the trouble was my
gave it free. Oh, no! A fairy made neighbors didn't agree on the lead.
some kind of a bargain with Jimmy Willy King used a tea spoon and
Shropshire and he loosened up. Well, Ted McDowell a fork, but for once I
we'll have to say this for the old had an idea, "Ha! Ill use the baby
boy, he did the thing royally and Ak-k- ie spoon," thinks I. But alas, no sooner
sez he's one of the shining lights had I put the delectable fruit to my
of The Kerntl out side of herself, of mouth than Akkie gave me a poke in
the slats what made me choke on my
Here, I've been flopping around like false teeth.
She sez, "Don't embarass me Uke
a chicken with its head off. If you
That spoon's for your
"Well, I hate soup anyway," sez I.
The rest of the meal went pretty
well. We wuz used to eating the othand
er things (except the
knew what picks and shovels to use.
Some of them what had to make
speeches didn't enjoy the sustenance
as much as they could have, had they
been in a normal condition.
that good English for you, sustenance,
especially?) However, all things omt
to an end, even the" talks which weren't so worse when you fell into a comfortable dream of food, what is the
silver linin' to every cloud. I learned
one thing at the banquet. Food is
an essential part of journalism, and
though speeches aren't as important,
they can be gotten away with, but
journalists ain't no singers! The orchestras (Yes, we had an orchestra)
played our national hymn, "On, Oi:
U. of K.," and the voices raised to
murder that tune should have been
caged long ago.
Dr. and Mrs. McVey, Dean Boyd,
Uncle Enoch, and Mrs. Grehan, anl
Miss Margie occupied the seats of
honor of the "K" and had a lot of fun
giving each other T. L.'s and handing
each other the baskets of flowers as
he or she received the biggest compliment. Akkie said she never did see
why they didn't send 'em down to her
but the only one who got them from
those whom we speak on in whispers
was Jimmy Shropshire and Johnny
Bullock. They would!
'Bout the whole Herald force was
there, taking advantage of our free
food. "Helen Goes a Shopping" and
Simp Estes wisecracked all evening,
while Edith Minihan looked as pretty
as she usually doe.?. I noticed one
thing, all the Herald staff left before
the toasts began. That was one time
jt paid to work on the Herald! .
"Father, grandma is
planning on bobbing her hair."
Father "Who touches a hair on
yon gray head, dies like a dog!"
"Hey, Wtfllie, why doncha use the
other straw, too?"
"I haven't emptied this one yet."
Stevens Tech Stone Mill.
"One thing about having gone to
college," sighed the capitalist as the
ICelL dressed, gentlemm.
of SfesoL smartness
and appreciate, tfie,
economies of Stetson.
nineteenth classmate that day was
leaving, "I'll never have to buy my
bonds from a stranger."
Why is it that a college student
won't put more than twenty minutes
on a calculus problem, but will spend
an hour and a half trying to get the
speedometer off a
flivver? Pen State Froth.
ViTite for Interesting Booklet
"The STETSON HAT in LITERATURE"
John B. Stetson Compuiy. "PhiudtlViM
"And what do you think of the
Grand Canyon Hokku?"
"Just gorges, Anaximander, just
Surgeon "I'll sew that scalp wound
for ten dollars."
Patient "Gee, Doc, I just want
plain sewing, not hemstitching and
"That's one thing I like about my
Mercury. granted. The story covers a considerable period, taking Terry through the
Old Lady "Little boy, do you mind "rookie" stage to that of a fire engineer, showing the suspense that atSunday?"
Little Boy "Oh, I just manage to tends a fireman, and his everyday
heroism; The role, which inclines to
endure it, old dear."
the dramatic, is balanced by a wealth
"Sir! I'll have you know there's of typical Charles Ray comedy.
"The Fire Brigade" was produced
blue blood in my veins."
"I hope you are taking something by Hunt Stromber and directed by
with the aid
William Nigh for
of the International Order of Fire Engineers. A large portion of the proShe "Did Hans Brinker ?"
fits will be turned over to this organHe "No, she came with Fritz."
ization for the carrying on of its fire
May McAvoy has the feminine lead
opposite Ray, and the cast includes
Holmes Herbert, Tom O'Brien, Eugenie Besserer, Warner P. Richmond,
Bert Woodruff, Vivia Ogden, De Witti
Jennings, Dan Mason, James Bradbury, Jr., Erwin Connelly and others.
"The guy she goes with."
"DONT TELL THE WIFE"
One of the most daring and
tastic achievements of screen photo
graphy and direction is seen in War
ner Brothers' comedy of Parisian
life. "Don't Tell the Wife," starring
It is the dance of the Silver Shafts.
The ballet itself, arranged by Ernest
Belcher, noted dance impressario, is
performed by seven young women
chosen for grace and beauty of face
and form. Deft underfoot lighting
creates an illusion of startling beauty.
The figures seem to be floating
wraiths the glittering bodies which
are like floating butterflies, seem to
be pierced by shafts of transparent
light like silver arrows. The dance
takes place in a Parisian night club,
a reproduction of one of the most
famous and elaborate of the cafes
of the French capital.
In support of Irene Rich Huntley
Gordon, Lilyari Taehman and William
Demarest are featured. Otis Harlin
directed the story from the scenario
of Rex Taylor. "Don't Tell the Wife"
which is now showing at The Kentucky Theater.
The feature for the first half of
next week at the Kentucky Theater
will be "Mr. Wu," starring
Chaney who plays the part of Mr. Wu
himself. Nothing we say could add to
anything Lon Chaney plays in, neither
could we detract from his perfor
mance. Mr. Wu will be at the Ken
tucky for four days, beginning
"THE WOLF HUNTERS"
The hand may be faster than the
eye, as the old circus shell game man
used to sing, but he didn't refer to
the camera's eye. Proof of that is
in a visit Saturday to the Strand
Theater where the Rayart adaptation
of James Oliver Curwood's
"The Wolf Hunters," will be featured.
Quick shooting, hard hitting, rapid
riding, all flash upon the screen with
a clarity that is remarkable. Aside
from the excellence of the story and
the fine work of a notable cast, this
picture is a mravel because of 'its
The cast is an
consisting of Robert McKim, Virginia
Brown Faire, Alan Roscoe, Mildred
Harris, and David Torrence. The director was Stuart Paton.
Another episode of "On Guard"
wilt also 'be shown.
Twenty Debating Teams Will
Meet in Lexington April 13-1-6
to Decide State
Twenty teams, representing all sections of Kentucky, will meet at the
University of Kentucky in a series of
debates April 13, 14, 15 and 16 as the
culmination of group debates held by
high schools throughout the sta;te.
Opponents and sides will be determined by lot. The debates are held under
the auspices of the extension department of the university.
Members of the winning teams
among the 20 will be given the usual
gold medal from the university, and,
"OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS"
Those who appreciate the lighter,
type of comedy, replete with laughs in "Whispering Sage" at the Ben Ali
and comic situations, and moving Theater Sunday.
swiftly to a happy solution of all difThrills, stunts of daring, hard ridficulties, will be plentifully entering and hard fighting are
tained by the Lexington Players' pre- this film which is sure to features old
sentation this week of "Other and young
People's Business." The play is a
rollicking comedy of business and is
comical in the extreme with Harry
Geoffrey Malvern, a young artist
North, in one of his typical character
roles, furnishing most of the comedy. seeking adventure and types in the
slums of London, is struck by the
Mr. North, as the
business man with a front of brass charm and beauty of Mavis Hogan.
and a heart of gold, is" the whole He is also attracted by a resemblance
play. The others are incidental. His to his former fiancee, now dead.
Some week later, he again sees her.
is a character part with a punch.
He is at once laughable and lovable. Uut things are different. Mavi3 is
as Captain no longer a citizen of Limehouse.
Cuttleberry gives an able perfor- She lives with Joan's mother in May-fai- r.
How did she get there? What
mance as the hardboiled returned
soldier who wants a job and gets it is she doing? What happens?
and having gotten it makes himself
This will all be disclosed the .first
so valuable as to be burdensome to half of next week at the Ben Ali
his manager, Berkley Henderson (Mr. Theater.
"London," Dorothy Gish's
North) whose ideas are not so ad latest starring production, tells the
A peculiar feud springs up tale. Thomas Burke is the author;
between the young zealot and his em Herbert Wilcox, the director; British
ployer in which the older man tests National Pictures, Ltd., the producer;
the integrity of the younger. The and Paramount, the distributor.
latter comes through arid incidentally
Vodvil numbers will complete the
wins his employer's daughter.
Miss Dorothy Cleur plays
daughter, a part that makes no great
strain on her versatile ability.
Robert Frazer plays the leading
McCoy" and Marion Venno
role in the film version of "The City,"
feature the other romance of the play. the intense melodrama by Clyde Fitch,
Mr. McCoy is the extravagant son of which
comes to the Ben Ali Theater
the old manager with a fondness for for three days beginning next Thursemotional oratory. Miss Venno is the day. In this absorbing drama of a
stenographer who loves him despite young man's fight to attain his am
Frazer plays the role of j
Larry Foster is cast as the only bitions,
George Rand, Jr., a young attorney;
villian that mars the dramatic seren- who
father's death moves,
ity of .the play. Chic Chafe as the to the city his achieve
more or less silent partner is not
The story of his steady rise upgiven the usual opportunity that is ward, and then of
his hopeless strughis to apply his talent." Virginia gle against the forces
of the city that
Goodwin's part is also of a minor
crowd in on him and prevent his ulcharacter.
timate success, is what goes to make
Next week's presentation will be up" the plot
ofthe powerful drama.
"The Beautiful Liar."
Walter McGrail plays the role of
A. P. R.
the drug crazed Hannock, a part made
famous on the stage by Tully Mar- -'
BEN AH THEATER
shall, while Nancy Nash, a Fox find,'
is cast as Cicely, the youngest
Rands, whose behavior brings the
you want an entertainment that family to their senses.
will tingle every nerve with exciteR. William Neill directed the proment, when you are not laughing duction.
heartily at the many humorous preThree acts of vodvil will also be
dicaments of. the hero, see Buck Jones given.
in addition, $25 in gold. The school
represented by the winning team will
receive a silver loving cup which may
be kept for one year.
trophy was provided by Tho Lexington Lea'der and is now in posession of
Somerset high school, which had the
winning team in 1926.
Three hundred schools are registered for debate this year in the High
School Debating League, an organization founded by the university through
its extension department in 1920 with
rh initial enrollment of
These 300 schools are scheduled to
compete in groups of eight. Each
team of each group will face four different opponents, twice on the negative and twice 'on the affirmative
sides. Points are to be awarded according to the decision of the judges
of each debate.
At the close of the preliminary
series the high point winner of each
other seven dropping out. The series
will then culminate in the contest
The subject for debate this year 'is
"Resolved, that the Curtis-Ree- d
providing for a National Department
of Education with a Secretary in tho
President's Cabinet, should be enacted
group continues in the debating, the
present their-- 'Oversea Special
April 4. 5 and
"THE FIRE BRIGADE"
HIGH SCHOOLS TO
Not since Charles Ray played in
"The Girl I loved" has he had a part
that approached in dramatic sincerity
hat of Terry O'Neill in "The Fire
production which is to be seen as tho
attraction at the Strand Theater, be
ginning on Sunday.
During the last year Ray has bo- come identified with whimsical com- dy roles such as the ones he played
in "Bright Lights," "The Auction
Block," and "Paris," and has shown
a delightful versatility of character- zation in these parts.
However, Terry O'Neill is a part
that would delight the heart of any
actor, and one that afforded Ray op
portunities he had never before been
ON A BUSINESS BASIS
Buy yourspring clothes as you would a new car get
beneath surface appearances. Of course finish and
outward appearance must be given due consideration. But be certain that the good looks are tail-
ored in to stay.
Modern smoking pleasure
that never fails
THE smokers of this age are the most
independent ever known. Accepting
no hearsay, they have smoked out the
facts. They have learned that the
choicest Turkish and Domestic tobaccos grown are rolled into Camels,
that here is the incomparable blending for goodness, that Camels simply
never tire the taste.
Camel is the cigarette that never
fails to please the modern age. Regardless of how often you want the
comfort of a smoke, of how steadily
you light one after another, Camel
will never fail you, never give you
any but the finest thrill of smoking
pleasure. This is why Camel's popif
larity, by far the largest in the modern
world, keeps overwhelmingly in the
lead. As modern taste becomes more
insistent upon choice tobaccos, increasing millions discover Camel's incomparable mildness, smoothness and
If you want the cigarette that's
good to live with from morn to midnight, the one that is the choice of the
modern age, "Have a Camel!"
J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO COMPANY, WINSTON. SALEM. N. C.
A film epic, telling the
story of the American
trials, the humors, the
true thrilling life of
unsung heroes. The
greatest Fire Picture
IN COOPERATION WITH
THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF
When you buy "Factory to You" clothes, style
and choice fabrics come as a matter of course.
And in addtion you get the quality and fine tailoring
that comes from 38 years of experience in manufacturing men's clothing.
Save $10.00 to $15.00 on your
Spring Suit or Topcoat
Kentucky Clothing Co.
4 GREAT DAYS 4
SHORT AND MILL STREET
Sidney J. Marx, Manager
E. M. Sargent Campus Representative
FACTORY AND MAIN OFFICE
Seventh and Main Street