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THE KENTUCKY

KERNEL

Do not shred tho- - asparagus
Gnnd'byo for tho things that might bo
tho
guests will not bo ablo to manipulate
for Belling
0, It's hands upon your wnllcts, boys;
They'll bo taken for trophies to bo it nny way you fix It.
(Formerly The Idea).
tho Queen Is drawing nigh;
Never servo Jowl nnd greens with
hung In tho Dorm.
Published every Thursday throughout the College year by the student body
That capricious llttlo fairy with como- of the State University of Kentucky, for the benefit of tho stutho Ice cream.
dents, alumni and faculty of the institution.
hither In her eye.
Tho times of our life are spent up In
unbearded
THB KENTUCKY KERNEL is the official newspaper of the University. Sco the
We Have With Us Today.
"Heaven,"
It is issued with the view of furnishing to its subscribers all the college news
youth walk lordly at her side
We are sorry to report Mr. Bubble
Tho place whore wo roost in tho last
of Kentucky, together with a digest of items of Interest concerning the uniHow tho sugared smile she gives him
versities of other States and Canada.
Uugg sick with pneumonia.
lingering days;
fills his vapid head with pride.
Born, to the wlfo of Mr. John Dugg,
And try all tho Freshmen in caso of
FIVE CENTS PER COPY
SUBSCRIPTION, ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR.
Fool, ho thinks he's got n chnnco;
mall matter.
Entered at Lexington Postoffice as second-clas- s
a girl.
replevin
doesn't know she's loaded all
Mr. Charlie Bugg visited his brothAnd retain all tho customs of
EDITORIAL STAFF.
the dico;
J. FRANKLIN CORN
ways.
er Mr. Letn Dugg Inst Friday.
Assistant Editor Let's him seven now, but crap out
Bart N. Peak
Miss .Tula Bottom nnd Master Tay-la- r
Though tho kings prefer castles overManaging Editor
Miss Anita Crabbe
"Squirrel Food"
when ho hasn't got tho price.
William Shinnick
spent last week with their uncle
looking Romo lake
"Coed"ltor 0, It's flowers nnd candy, cabs and
Rebeoca Smith
Sccuro from tho enomy at war and nnd aunt, Mr. W. H. Bugg.
MoClarty Harbison
Athletic Editor
shows nnd suppers ho must
Mrs. W. H. Bugg visiting Mrs. AmanExchange Editor
tho storm,
J. R. Marsh
buy
"I know not what course that others da Grahnm last Monday.
Locals and Law Miss K. Mitchell. .. .Homo Economics Uut you'll see tho poor fish wlgglo
J. T. Gooch
may take,"
Master Ernest Taylor celebrated
Harry Melton
Mechanical Herbert Graham
Fraternities
when she throws him high and
room his 5th birthday January 28. His
But give mo a
Mining Miss Anna L. Whltworth. . . .Sororities
S. J. Caudill
dry.
guests were his grandparents, Mr. and
Agriculture Miss Elizabeth Duncan
James McConnell
in tho Dorm.
Patt. Hall 0, Its hands upon your pocketbooks;
Miss Elsie Heller
Education
C. R. BARKER.
Mrs. John Bugg, and cousin, Albert
the Queen is drawing nigh.
REPORTERS.
Lawson.
M. C. Finney
W. T. Cottingham
H. J. Evans
Estill Woods
S. W.
Wo aro sorry to say that Mr. George
Miss Mildred Taylor.
BUSINESS STAFF.
Bugg is 111 with pneumonia at this
SOMEWHERE IN FRANCE.
W. J. Harris
Business Manager
writing. Rural Correspondence,
SQUIRREL FOOD
In
A dying camp-fire'ruddy glow;
Harrodsburg Democrat.
The Literary Issue.
A weary soldier dreams of homo
And paths he once was wont to
Our Answer Department.
The Kentucky Colonel Says:
The Kernel presents its first attempt at a literary issue.
My husband smokes cigarettes and
roam
I know a man, suh, who consldahs
throws the stubs on tho floor. How
News and editorial matter are cut down as much as possible in Durk sky above; black night below.
the world a keg of beer and sweahs
can I prevent this?
order to give space for literary contributions.
he is tho bung that keeps the fluid
A shot-tortrench 'neath burning sun;
Worried Wife.
in. I, suh, would rathah considah it
vThe management desires to thank all who have contributed
An order screamed mid shriek of
Purchase him some good cigars.
julep and myself a sprig of
a mint
to the issue and to express a hope that this departure from the orshell,
green fiojitin' in it.
Some of the members of my congreA quaff of war, a taste of hell
dinary will find favor in the eyes of the students.
gation persist in laughing during my
The darkness falls, and day is done.
The Persuasive Barber.
sermons.
Is there any law under
The adoption of the honor system
Money may be the root of all evil,
I went Into a barber shop
which I can prosecute them?
but we can't understand how some throughout the association was urged A lonely spot, all quiet around;
To get a shave one day.
Pastor.
The bugle sounds Its last sad call,
of our evils keep so much foliage out at a recent Western Conference conThe barber had a splendid line
Try the law of gravity.
A comrade's tears in farewell fall
vention at Ohio State. We suggest
with what root they have.
A hypnotizing way.
that the conference adopt the K. S. The sunset bathes an earthen mound. He singed my hair and greased my A friend tells me that the weight
C. J.
of my Toad automobile is too great
Mr. Aisaku Hayashi, chief director U. system as a model.
face;
for its power. What is the cause?
Toyko, Japan,
of the Imperial Hotel at
He gave me a massage,
TO ONE i LOVE.
..Kentucky is much safer than OkHenry.
Is in this country to study American
And on my skin he sprayed perfume
lahoma, anyhow. The members of the
Perhaps the engine pounds.
Won't you be my little fairy;
Yes, the American
hotel metlas.
That smelled like a garage.
LegI&lrtturt?1'out there light by throw
Let me make of you my wife,
pronunciation is, "Hashey."
He bade mo take a green shampoo
hig ink bottles and books, while at'
I got a husband at a matrimonial
And I promise you sincerely
To make my hair look neat,
Frankfort they merely mix it up
bureau recently and he has left me.
I'll adore you all my life.
Prof. W. H. Taft is endeavoring to
And when he'd finished; sure he swore
and demand an investigation.
Shall I apply to the courts for a di
abolish slang from the college baseI looked most wondrous sweet.
vorce?
Susanna.
ball diamond. Probably in the future The message, "Prepare," was flashed Such a blushing little creature,
He took away two dollars
No, Susanna.
Apply to the matriHow I look at you with pride
instead of "You've got his goat, old broadcast from the Rock Island, 111.
He turned me in the street.
monial bureau for another husband.
man!" we shall hear the inspiring arsenal on the eve of Washington's And to think in Hearing future
My moral's plain you'll save your
It's cheaper.
You will be my blushing bride.
obcry, "Deah boy, you have really
birthday. Profs who teach Wednesdough
I never take a good picture.
How
tained possession of his species of day classes say that the warning was
If you just buy a safety hoe.
Answer gently, maiden! Gently!
can I do this?
the genus Capra."
completely ignored in Lexington.
If you don't 'twill break my heart,
Go to the
store and swipe
The Domestic Science Freshman
For I love you, love you madly.
added new laurels to her fame this a Madonna.
THE MASTER HARPIST.
Only death can make us part.
Then so simply and completely I yieldweek when she asserted in class that
To settle a bet, what is the correct
ed to your will
cake was more nutritious if it didn't spelling of the name of the Emperor
Prelude.
That your hands ne'er caressed my Oh, come hither, dear, and answer,
"rise." The air holes, she said, con- of China?
Percy.?
Alone I lingered in the dim-li- t
music
Let your trusting lover know
heart strings
tain nothing but air, and cake is cake,
Spell it with a Q.
hall
you'll be his little wifey.
Without their responding thrill.
That
any way you look at it.
Where fragments of sweet harmonies
.Come, oh come! Tell me so!
I sang for you my sweetest songs
That All?
still lingered in the air,
'19.
With eager trembling frame,
Authorities differ, but we are of the
Mr. U. L. Holder happened to an
And dying strains, like fragrance of
And when I ceased you still drew
opinion tnat a cold boiled potato is accident Sunday night, caused by
THE DORM.
swift withering flowers,
forth
tho most disappointing thing in the dropping a stick of wood and falling
Yet clung about each golden string Soft little songs without a name.
Away with the mansions where the world.
against the sharp edge of a door, and
and ebon case.
O master-harpiswealthiest revel
still play on;
bruising his eye considerable. GlasThe master's music had portrayed the
And walk in the Brussels up to their
Draw from me every strain
gow Times.
Hints on Serving Dinner.
Soul
Master
knees;
Expressive of your ecstacles
Always servo the pie after the soup,
In glimpses whose abysmal depths
And give me the Dorm where we meet but not necessarily immediately after.
Or your most poignant pain.
Appropriate Mottoes.
and dizzying heights
on the level
Always examine tho lettuce before
For tho Undertaker: "Consider the
my heart while yet they baf- Ne'er shall another's touch profane
Thrilled
And talk about matters just as we bringing it in. Some of your guests end."
Those strings on which you played,
fled and confused,
please,
For the soul which has your music
might not like caterpillar trimmings
For the Hostess: "They serve God
Leaving me satiate yet athirst and
Where stylo is not known, and noise with the salad.
known
well who serve his creatures."
eager
never ceasing,
Is by no others swayed.
You should always shave the scales
For the Merchant:
"Excelsior"
To give a listening world my songs
Where friendships are made that off tho fish before you sizzle him.
(still higher).
still unexpressed,
Postlude.
will, last through life's storm;
Frail winged harmonies which flut- The evening shades are melting
And music is heard to bo ever intered in my breast.
Into the twilight's gloom,
creasing
As once more I wait your coming
From all tho inhabitants that room
!
In this shadowy music room.
in the Dorm.
And then you came with spirit so atO, hasten, my beloved,
tuned
For thy harp in silence stands
Have you seen those swell EngThe footbull parados will not bo forTo the spirit of that shadowy music
lish Last Shoes we are showing
'Till it shall thrill once more with
gotten
hall,
this season? They are sure beaumusic
ties; made In mahogany calf and
By all who took part in tho usual
it seemed to me your soul in sympathy
gun metal calf. They fit like a
s
'Neath tho
hands.
costume,
glove and stand the knocks. They
Had responded to xay'aoul'B vibrating
K. M.
are just the Shoe for the Dressy
A handkerchief
cap and a shirt of
call.
Young Fellow. Prices, $4, $4.50
white cotton;
past those carveu rosewood
Wisconsin.
Straight
and $5.00 the pair.
And ull
junk that is
The State capitol will be used for
cabinets
found in tho room.
Unerringly you canjo, without delay tho Junior Prom this year and many
And. chose, from all those glorious in- of the State officers will be present. .Then a stroll for tho town with all tho
20S West Main Strett,
-crowd yelling
struments,
;
'
Lexington, Ktntucky.
HUMPHREY
OFFERS
SPECIAL
A marching along in somo military
My little soul's 'harp for youri MinCy Hanks, Manager.
RATES TO STUDENTS.
form,
strel's lay.

THE GENTLE GRAFTER.

The Kentucky Kernel

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The Special Shoe Co.

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