THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

EXCHANGES

Havis: Cooties nro Just lice with
military training.
Silicon Quartz.

T.

C.

Student Kneekt Disciplinary
Education.
(Crimson.)
It seems that it is high time for our
Institution to awake to this fact and
depart from its "old foglelsm" and
.adopt the ideal freedom in our educa
tlonal system. At present there are
about eight former Transylvanians
taking work toward degrees in the
University of Kentucky. Others will
join the ranks next year unless Tran
aylvania makes some rapid changes in
her requirements for graduation. It
is hoped that such changes will be
made in time to hold all of our stu
dents for graduation.
Otherwise we
bid them a most hearty farewell. Why
study Greek and Latin when one of the
greatest men who ever lived knew
"small Latin and less Greek?" Why
should any young man In Transyl
vania be subjected to the dry and pain
ful task of taking ton courses In "dead
languages" for a B. D., when he can
go to Yale and Harvard and study what
he needs for his life's work, and at
the same time get his B. D.?

(Technique.)
It Is rumored that a
professor in Geology here passed upon a specimen of Bon Ami as a poor
grade of Silicon Quartz.

Art and
Gift
Shop

(Columbia Spectator.)
Columbia's Air Service Radio School
for Officers, where Aviation cadets
were trained in the use of the radio
telephone, will have discontinued its
work by the end of this week.

L. He BELL

COLLEGE FRUIT STORE
We cater to college patrons
FRUITS, CANDIES, CIGARS AND TOBACCOS
No. 154 South Lfmestone Street

THE

New Supply

Uuniversity of Kentucky
Die Stamped Stationery

of

For thiag

Skull Caps

Artistic and Beautiful

Too Wet.

Envelopes and Paper

50c.

60c.

PHOTOGRAPHS

(The Thresher).
Prof.: "Have you done your outside
reading?"
. Stude: "No; it's been too rainy."

or other articles

Waterman's
Fountain Pens

I

YSAYE

Athletic Goods
T

FOR

FALL AND WINTER

With Symphony Orchestra
of Ninety Men Coming
to Lexington

Biology.

Hay Hardware Co.
West Main Street
Look for the Iron Dog
139

PHARMACISTS
Lexlngtonf Ky.
Both Phones
Main and Lime

123

IMPORTANT
Reasons

why

you should

take your course at Clay's

Business College.
We not only promise indi
vidual attention, but we give

it.
WE

WANT SATISFIED
STUDENTS

A school of one price.

We ask no one to enroll and make
payment until they have visited the
school.

Post

Fountain Pen
Ink

Cards

15c.

25c.

University Book store
233

Caden Drug Co.

set of

University of Kentucky

$2.50 and up.
EUGENE

quire

1

Blutand White
Whether

d

Heard at a Freshman Debate
'
(Technique.)
( Freshman debating soAflflmative
ciety) And it's reported from Holland
that concrete bases for German cannon have been found.
Negative (interrupting)
"You can't
believe a word you hear from Holland,
even geography says that it is a low,
lying country."

Spengler's

Columbia Air School to Cloto

Vanity.
Technique
At the sitting of the Technique
APRIL 8TH
staff for picture, such remarks as "Is TUESDAY,
my hair brushed" and "Wait till I fix
A symphony orchestra is composed
my tie" were excusable, but the guy
of an organization of 90 to 100 musiwho asked anxiously: "Can you see
cians and is practically three bands
my wrist watch, 'ought to be shot at
in one a string band, a wood wind
sun rise.
and a brass band, also Instruments of
procussion, all directed as one instruBlessed Are They.
ment by a master musician, the direc((Revised from the Purple and White tor.
with Apologies to the Faculty.)
The Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra
"Blessed are the boneheads in logic, ranks among the three highest of the
lor theirs is the sarcasm of 'Tige.' "
symphonies of the United States, and
Blessed are they who suffer from these orchestras rank among the best
"Davis," while others are suffering in the world.
from "Mighty."
The personnel of the Cincinnati Or
Blessed are the simps in French for chestra includes 50 men in the string
theirs is plenty of company.
orchestra, 23 in the wood-winorchesBlessed are those who do eat and tra, 8 in the brass orchestra, 5 in the
drink in Funkhouser's lectures for they procussion division, two Italian harps,
shal lbe filled.
bass violins, the latter forming the
Blessed are Farkey's students, for bass of the united orchestra.
they shall need mercy.
This aggregation of 90 to 100 musi
Blessed are those who are persecut- cians is under the director, M. Eugene
ed for Dantzler's sake for theirs is Ysaye, the great Belgian violinist, one
the knowledge of English.
of the greatest living musicians of the
Blessed are ye when the faculty shall day, who has brought the organization
scold you and persecute you and say to its zenith.
all manner of things against you falsely, for their sake. Rejoice and be
exceedingly glad for great Is your reward of escape, for so persecuted they
the ones before you.
"Ah! Yes. Mr. Thomas, can you
name four kinds of sheep?"
Albert: "Black sheep, white sheep,
Mary's little lamb, and the hydraulic
ram."

PAGE 7

WEST

SHORT

Everybody EATS at

UNCLE CHARLIES

College Men

Have Learned
That there is no compromise about a hat, it is a fine hat
You are satisfied or you are not satisfied.

or it is not.

BOOKKEEPING

The work is
pleasant as well as profitable. We
offer a splendid course in either the
20th Century or Tablet method of ad
vanced business records. Every business has need of better accounting
and new methods are constantly being
introduced.
Be a good bookkeeper.

WE GUARANTEE
Every Hats we sell to Satisfy

SHORTHAND

Accurate dictation spells the suc
cess of the secretarial or stenographic
contact
has
applicant.
Personal
taught us that the Gregg Method of
Shorthand is the efficient method. We
insure speed and accuracy.

OB

The New
Smart
Spring

TYPEWRITING

The touch system has taken the
place of the old, slow, inefilcient
method of typing. Our instruction
will place you on a par with the best.

Styles
are ready.

WE OFFER FREE

EUGENE YSAYE.

In connection with above courses a
course in uommeuuiali enulush,
SPELLING and BUSINESS ARITHMETIC.
WE COURT INVESTIGATION
MRS. W. P. RAMSEY, President.
MISS GLADYS REESE, V. President.

This orchestra, conducted by Mr.
Ysaye, will give two concerts at the
A Problem In Entomology
Lexington Opera House April 8, mat(Tar Heel.)
inee and night. Seats will be put on
Havis: What's the difference be- sale March 28 at the Ben All Theatre.
CLAY'S BUSINESS
tween a cottie and a louse, Professor Mail orders received now.
COLLEGE
Mathis?
Miss Anna Chandler Goff, director
(Incorporated.)
Prof. Mathis: Why, I really don't of the Lexington College of Music, is
DAY and NIGHT CLASSES
know.
the local manager.
Phone 4lt-adr. 222 W. Main St.

See our window display

Kaul man Clothing
LEXINGTON'S BETTER STORE

Y

i

Co.

*