Best Cop
UNCLE WILLY TELLS

BED-TIM- E

TALE, JUST TO HELP US SLEEP
Now IMaylng
By WILLY NILLY RPOOFMORE

"CONVENTION

CITY"

DICK POWELL

right, kiddles, gather around
Uncle Willy and stop your necking
long enough for him to tell you
All

bedtime story which will send you
all off to sleepy-towOnce upon a time there was a
nasty man by the name of Snake-hip- s
Pete. Snakehlps Pete lived In
Casper. Wyoming, but he had all his
mall sent to Pawtucket because he
knew the mail clerk there, and thev
would have lots of fun talking about

Starting Sunday

n.

"NANA"
ANNA STEIN

.

seems to be the quickest way.
Before going on with this story,
kiddles, I want you to remember
that Snakehlps Pete was a very bad
man. Yes sir, a bad man. Many Is
the time his friends, drunkards
themselves, would catch him at the
bar during the wee hours. Pete
would usually be In his cups at that
time, for once he sat down he start
ed, kept going, and never stopped
until he had tossed off buttermilk

after buttermilk.
One night Pete was In a Paw
tucket saloon, carrying on In this
disgraceful manner. At last his
somehow, and that drunken head dropped to the table

dogs.
Now Pete didn't care two raps
nhnut. riors hrrAiisA hp wtm m. rinrs
thief. However, we have to get him

to Pawtucket
Now

KERNEL

THE KENTUCKY

Fage Two

riaylng

"HI, NELLIE"

TRUMP

P.UX MUNI
Starting Sunday

"SCANDALS"
Rl'DY VALLEE

Now Playing

"MEET THE BARON"
JACK PEARL
Saturday

"HORSE

PLAY-sli-

m

SUMMER VILLE
Sunday-Monda- y

3 ON A HONEYMOON

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which means a thox
And it's Sanforize
sand washings cannot shrink it out of size.

In white, stripes and plain colors.

ELISSA LANDI

and he began to snore, breaking
every window In the saloon.
All of a sudden he felt a light
hand on his head, and he sat up,
laboring to come out of It. Through
his blurred eyes he saw the vision,
It seemed to him, of a beautiful girl.
She was speaking, but he couldn't
understand what she said until he
dug some of the cantaloupe from
his ears. This done, he listened.
"Are you Snakehlps Pete?" she
asked In a voice that seemed to
quiver.
"The same, have you any horses
to be stolen today?" asked Pete,
from force of habit aa he stood up,
tripped over his spurs, and went to
the floor with a crash.
"I have heard that you are one of
the toughest men here In the East,
being from the west, and I thought
that I'd like to see what your price
was for a little knife murder. When
I say knife murder I meiyi just that.
and I want a clean Job. No blood
on the front porch or anything. Do
you understand?"
"I suppose so," said Pete, cringing
before the girl's muscular breath.
8he was easy on the eyes until she
opened her mouth. When this hap
pened her friends left her. Pete
wondered If anyone had ever told
her. "My price Is two bits a Job,"
said Snakehlps coming at once to
the Important point. How easy it
was to make two bits.
"Very well, come with' me," said
the girl. With that she arose. No
she didn't either, for she hadn't
been sitting down. Anyhow, she
started to walk out and Pete follow
ed her.
She led him up a long dusty road,
and then suddenly turned Into a
little path. I mean that when she
came to the path she started walking down it.
Presently they came upon a small
house, and the girl pointed to the
door and said: "Buddy, there's your
meat." Well it turned out to be the
mall clerk's mother - in - law, ani
Snakehlps stabbed her
figuring that he was doing his
friend a big favor.
Now wait a minute, kiddles. Do
you think that that nasty, evil.
Snakehlps got away with that heinous crime? Well, I guess not, for he
received his punishment at the
hands of the girl herself. She had a
sudden revulsion of feeling, or maybe she figured on saving her two
bits. Anyhow, she waited for Pete
at the door of the house, and when
he came out, threw a net over his
body and clubbed him to death.
Not satisfied with this she chopped
up his body and fed his fingers and
toes to the birds, leaving the rest of
him a bloody mass of crushed bones.
Now nighty-nigkiddies. Have

Saturday

ht

pleasant dreams and remember to
never trust a woman.

PARACHUTE JUMPER
D. FAIRBANKS, JR.
j"Ns-B'A-

S unday-Mond-

COMPANY?

IHCjLfPC

PETITE
PIECE
-

STRAWBERRY ROAN
KEN MAYNARD

By LORRAINE LEPERE
Three cheers for things informal!
Periodically I can get enthusiastic
over one little Insignificant something that strikes my fancy, and
when that happens I can bubble
Indefinitely.

Does your conscience

What I'm trying to get at is in
formal everythings. I have no special reference to social functions or
anything like that, but I do believe
that things within reason which are
carried on in this vein are so much
more interesting and satisfactory.
For instance, a group of college students sitting around a camp fire

Friday, April 27, 1934

telling tall storiea or singing, with
the moon filtering through the trees
and the glow of cigarettes here and
there that's Informal; a prof that
sits before his class and chats his
lectures in a manner that keeps the
eye from straying out of the windows and the heads from inclining
forward
that's Informal: seeing
people you know and singing out a
friendly greeting, even if you can
Just recall the name, without standing on ceremony or expecting them
to recognize you first that's informal too, and It's lots more worth

...

the least potent gin. I Just can't
take it (to use the vernacular)! I
took a date to a popular restaurant
the other day. She ordered a cocktail, while I ordered a root beer.
She rounded out her cocktail with
three more until she became a bit
woory. whereas I could hardly down

my root beer, which was unusually
strong. (We make our home-maHires rather weak up where I live.)
de

One thousand three hundred-fift- y
letters have been Issued to members
of varsity athletic teams at South
Dakota state college since 1003.

New Dance Frocks

living when you make life Interesting.

I'll wager you've never heard of
nor seen so many new romances as
this season has brought about. It's
a funny thing that spring should get
all the blame. But then, It furnishes a topic for conversation, and
keeps the scandal column flourishing, which is something anyway.

...

Have you ever known anybody who
was so chuck full of bad habits that
you marveled at yourself for even
bothering yourself with him? And
then again, considering the person
from all sides, you find that if this
person would suddenly leave you so
that you couldn't see him anymore,
you wouldn't know exactly how to
get along without him? 8well eggs
like that occur periodically in a life
time, blossoming forth at unexpected times and In out of the way
places. Ever noticed how their connection with you Is usually of the
most unusual circumstances?
And
in contrast to that, they're often the
ones whom you take the most for

granted, arent they? I can't help
but feel that these friends and acquaintances are bright spots in an

otherwise commonplace

SURELY YOU'LL WANT ONE FOR
THE TRIANGLE DANCE
Why not get your's now before they are picked
over? You should see the lovely Allover Embroidered and Plain Mousselaine de Soie Dance
Frocks we've just received. Sophisticated?
Yes, but not expensive.
e
Why not let your next
Frock be one
of those smart "College Campus" Frocks, for
which we have the exclusive agency for Lexington? You won't meet your "double" on the
campus if you wear a "College Campus", for
we buy no two alike, and, they can be had only
at Shipp's.
day-tim-

JUNIOR SIZES 11 to 17 are here in both
the sports and dressy types, at prices that
won't put a cramp in your purse.

existence.

Sans Wine, Sans
Women; In Fact
Sans Everything

SEHDIPtP0!?

By A. TEETOTALER
My parents impressed me. from
the time that I was old enough to
understand the English language
with the perils attending the use of
spirituous liquors. They continu
ally drilled Into my feeble mind the
philosophy that the troubles of an
unwholesome world were brought
on by immoral women and strong
drink. At an early age I became
acquainted with the philosophy
inai an wine, some women, and
vulgar songs were the root of all
evil. That is, therefore, the main
reason why I never have Indulged
in tne company of doubtful women,
never have supported pool room
phonographs at five cents a song,
ana never have followed the some
what popular practice of Imbibing
rye, gin, or port, until the pink
eiepnants start on their irregular
strolls along the window sills.
Early home training has been,
then, an important element in the
development of my Innocent and
simple personality.
I was taught
also not to spend money unwisely.
My disbursements
for refresh
ments seldom exceed five cents for
a coke, but occasionally I go on a
splurge and invest the princely
sum of ten cents in a delicious
pineapple milk shake or in a tooth
some strawberry sundae.
Still another reason why I never
use alcohol Internally is that the
taste is like so much vinegar In my
mouth. It simply Is repugnant to
my physical being. I would almost
as soon have hot lead or molten
steel poured down my throat as to
have to drink some unpalatable
booze. My entire being would be
disrupted for at least 72 hours were
I to drink the smallest quantity of

Opposite Phoenix Hotel

(FORMERLY SHIPP

CO.)

m

U

hurt you?

WE'RE BACKING

Well it should, if you are
not sending The Kernel home. It
costs so little to give those that
are interested in you the pleasure
that they would derive from reading your school paper. Mother
and Dad especially.would appreciate receiving The Kernel.

"BELTED BACKS"

'J

'

1

,v

ft

s'

!

17

You'll be 100 for them too, once
you feel the comfort of this popular model. And that it's smart
needs no more proof than the welcome acceptance, it has enjoyed
by the well dressed young men on
the campus.

;

1!

lyi'i

I

ft.

m
ft'
'

N

So if you are asked

'

WHAT NO BELT ?
don't say we didn't warn

" Sure you

If you will call Univ.

74,

we will send The Kernel anywhere in the U. S. for $1.00 per
semester.

can do something jor me. Baby'- -'
tell mejwhere I can buy a shirt
that won't shrink."

you in advance

In the new spring shades,
priced at

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SHRUNK

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I

y

25

VI

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