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KENTUCKY KERNEL

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL
Tnbllihtd every Friday throuRhout the
yenr by the itudcnt tody of the
University of Kentucky
The Kentucky Kernel U the official
!umil of the
of the student
University of Kentucky.

w

.

'ff

Subscription One Dollar Wd Fifty Cents
Year Five Cents the Copy
Entered

at Lexington

Postofflce
class mall matter

HUSINESS MANAGER
Joseph K. Hays '25
Thones
8684
2117Y
4085
ASSISTANTS
Margaret M. Arnold
Robert Mitchell, Jr.
MANAGER OF ACCOUNTS
"Jamcs Augustus '27
ASSI8TANT
James Patterson '28

a

as second
CIRCULATION MANAGER
It. A. McNnry 28
ASSISTANTS
Leroy Keffcr '28
Norrls Duvnll

EDITOn IN.CHIRF
J. A. Kstcs

SQUIRREL FOOD
K.

13.

CANFORD'S
(J FOUNTAIN PEN

INK

Lewis

I was sitting in the reading room,
deeply intrigued by some problcni of
educational research (instructors will
please notice), when the chief goof,
whoever that may be, came bursting
in.
"How would you like," said ho, "to
be Jcstcr-in-ordinnto Sir Unive-

Oeorgln

Ted McDowell
Eugenia O'Harn

Moore Jameson

SQUIRREL FOOD
Karl Lewis

SOCIETY EDITOR
Edith Mlnnchnn
ASSISTANT
Thclma Snyder

FEATURE WRITTR
John J. Walsh

VALEDICTORY
The horizon of our college journalistic
gaze back down the lane wc have traveled
longer point westward, but have begun to
shall soon leave our university and become

career has passed. Already wc
and note that our shadows no
lengthen toward the east. Wc
figures in a world of practical

men.
We have given willingly and gladly of our time and ability to make
this a better university and a core cultured environment into which mothers
could send their daughters and sons. We have failed in many aspects and
we frankly admit it, but no man can point a finger of reproach at us and
say, "You did not try!" We tried.

v

Beginning with this issue a new staff will direct the energies of your
publication. Our chairs will be taken by other and more capable journalists;
our favorite haunts will become foreign to us and our little staff will no
longer exist as such. But we can retire with a clear conscience; we have
not intentionally hurt anyone nor have wo advocated any cause which wc
did not think was the best thing for the University of Kentucky.
We began the year with a big task before us. Wc submit our bound
files as a criterion by which you may judge whether we failed or succeeded.
We have had perfect cooperation from the faculty and administration and
we desire to take this opportunity to thank them for it. The students have
been sympathetic and. willing to ignore many shortcomings on our part. The
staff has been as a unit working together for one common causp, the betterment of our paper so as to serve more effectively its public. It has been
We thank the staff.
willing to sacrifice many things to help in emergencies.
To the new staff we may say that if it gets as much pleasure and
practical experience from the publication of the Kernel as we have gotten,
it will be more than amply repaid for the time spent on the paper. Wo hand
it only our encouragement and congratulations and retain for ourselves myriads of fond memories of our "editor days."

SALUTATORY

University Lunch Room
Try Our Malted Milks

rsity?"

The Place Made Famous by Speed

that delectable

pretentious footwear, coat and other
fixtures to match, falls out and
her: "Shall wc go riding?" Icy
stare on face of maiden. "I take no
chances with strangers," she refrigerates. Sneeze hits' youth two centimeters above left ventricle. Withdrawing his handkerchief ho clumsily
permits two twenties to flutter to the
ground. Temperature of maiden's
smile warms two hundred degrees
Fahrenheit.
"Lochinvar," she
"you've got an honest face. I'll
trust you this time."
"Might ever the Jester play the
lute? Would the king permit? For
I would sing of girls who burst toy
balloons with glowing cigarettes, of
pagan days when Pan was young, of
queer exotic monsters the "E's" that
lurk in the Journalism department
and pounce on unsuspecting wayfarers, of cool grottos where spring is
ever hiding. I would sing of flowers
and tiny little streams, of girls with
angel faces, of Israfcli's dreams. Oh,
I would sing of laughter, of woman,
wine, and song, of Coca Cola revels
do wrong."
and why
"Blondel," sobbed the leader, "smite
your lyre."

Across The Street From The Campus

WM. POULOS, Proprietor

When You

BUY
From our

dul-cet- s,

i

Has overturned
of Burgundy in the
west;
Sunset is purple.
.
In the cast
Blue clouds are coppers
Who run
d
'cross the sky.
A dusky audience is coming from the
south
truck-loa- d

x$

1
SMART STYLED CLOTHES
COLLEGE MEN

E
R

Flat-fote-

i

'7ie Bama'

I
S

Chanson Avril
Some celestial bootlegger
A

B

A
D
V
E
R
T

co-e-

Oailored

FOR

at SRochejrer

S

South-cas-

t.
Today a new management takes charge of the Kernel, as is customary Raindrops begin to
whisper,
a new managing editor, a
at this time of the year. A new, editor-in-chie- f,
"Tell it to the Judge."
reorganized staff will have supervision over the paper for the remainder of
the semester and throughout the following school session until this time
The chief was groggy but game.
next year.
He came back with this stanza, which
Responsibilities have been placed on new shoulders; the talent has been he said was the first of a zoological
intrusted to the care of a new servant.
series on campus insects. I know a
Such is the ostensible and formal change which has taken place. But few that answer to this description.
the change is nominal and insignificant at most. There is a change of serv- But to quote the chief:
ants, but none of masters. The same hand that directed the newspaper before the advent of the present staff shall continue to guide it. The same
The College Moth
impetus that brought the Kernel through the past shall propel it through
urged it on to greater fforts shall continue He sees afar the beacon light
the future. The same voice that
Of education through the night,
to be heard and heeded.
And hitherward ho turns his course
That part of the Kernel which does not change, in whom the dictator- And wings
his way with all his force.
ship is permanently vested, is the desire to advance the welfare of that
He flies around the light and
There is no master so
of persons to whose service it is devoted.
then
relentless in his call for labor and there is no despot whose requirements are

PLEASE MENTION

THE KERNEL

THE HOME OF

BRAEBURN COLLEGE CLOTHES

KAUFMAN CLOTHING CO.
GRAVES, COX & CO.

INCORPORATED

LEXINGTON'S

BETTER STORE

Plunges into the dark again.

more exacting.

Whatsoever is good for the student body of the university; whatsoever
is good for the alumni of the institution; whatsoever is good for the faculty;
in short, whatever is good for the University of Kentucky for those things
we gird on our armor and go forth to battle, if the reader will pardon us
for being a little dramatic about it.
One will arise and say at this point, that there are no battles to fight,
because everybody is on our side. It is not so. There needs no skill of a
conjurer to find enemies for us. They arc on every side. They are on the
farms of Kentucky, in the stores, in the churches, in the General Assembly,
yea, verily, they are in the midst of us.
The Kernel has no policy. It reserves the right to stand on either side
of the fence it chooses and to climb the fence whenever it pleases. It proposes to eulogize William Delbert Funkhouscr one week and William Jennings Bryan the next, if it wants to change its mind as much as that. Its
one principla is to support those things which are good for its master and
friend, the university, and if the application of that principle differs one week
from the previous week, it is because we have learned a new fact or have
found a new point of view.
When it makes mistakes it will gladly coThe Kernel is openminded.
them so far as they may be corrected. The Kernel will welcome any
suggestions as to how its service may be improved. It will appreciate any
effort to increase the scope of its usefulness.

rrect

301-31-

5

West Short
At Corner Mill

St

Tim chief thought it was pretty
good, so I figured that if I was going
to keep my job, I'd better make out
like it was just as good as mine.
As he concluded, a stranger came
over and told the one about the
t-minded
professor who took a
bath on Wednesday night and got
up next morning looking for the fun
ny paper.
We ideally had decided to disperse.
Of course, the librarian might have
hastened the plans a little. Meeting
(Ad
called next week at Snowball's.
vertising Please credit one dollar, $1,
on account.)
Before we loft the chief asked me
to announce that a prize would be
awarded to anyone contributing a
quip, triolet, vilannole or even a stick
of shaving cream to this department.
Prize would be complete absolution
from attending tea dances the remainder of the semester.
Pax vobiscum cum granis snlis.

THE VIADUCT PHARMACY
Let us Fill Your Drug Needs

I
College
Tuxedo
Suits

'

SPECIAL

$

Cor. Short and Mill St.
LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY

25

The New Corona Four
with Standard Keyboard

FRATERNITY STORE

OTHERS $45

For Offices
For Homes
A Complete Line of Candies for the

Tuxedo Vests
$6.00

CORONA Four is the
office
typewriter in portable
form standard keyboard, wide carriage,

bbonall

Serv-U- s

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Don't buy any type

writer till you have seen
it. $60 with case.

Standard Typewriter
Exchange

Phone S8S4
109 Barr Street

ri-

big machine

features.

WHOLESALE

225 Went Short Stryct

WE DELIVER

Phone 4779

CORRECT APPAREL FOR WOMEN AND MISSES

!

hi

and Sundaes

Buffoon to the bourgcoise? Concoct
manna called squirrel
MANAGING EDITOR
food on which Wildcats and divan-hounArthur II. Morris
nrc alike supposed to thrive?
ADVERTISING
NEWS EDITOR
All advertising Is handled directly thru Truly, Sir Ahasucrus, you tempt me.
VlrKlnln Krlley
Might one occasionally translate into
the business manager. Dates on request.
ASSISTANTS
Willy KlnR
John Ilullnck
the printable some bit of Rabelaisian
REPORTERS
humor that now escapes (?) the eyes
REPORTERS
srOUT EDITOR
Doland Roberts and cars of the
Krnnk K. Hoover
Vlrclnln Conroy
Annabelle Murthy
Mable C. Graham
ASSISTANTS
The chief was nil agog. "Vendor,
James Cognr
Warren A. Price
Gordon Dnvls Ava Cnwood
Helen Shelton spread your illicit wares."
Paul Jenkins
II. K. Gregory Kyle Whitehead
Nellie Torlan
Lois Hnrgctt
Frank Smith
I.ovcll Unilcrwooil
"Comes walking down the street
Virglnln Iloyd
Ernestine Cross
Lyilia Roberts n co-eNell Pltimmer
Rusty flivver wheezes to a
ASSOCIATE EDITORS
Ralph Conncll
Fred New halt beside
her. Seedy youth clad
Elizabeth I.lllrston
Nlnn Howard Emmet Mllwnrd
Amanda Cyprctt
Curtis llcuhler Mnrthn Terry Smith
Ednn Lewis Wells
Mnrjorie Illackbiirn in baggy trousers, soiled cravat, unDorothy Stobbins
Mnrln McElroy
Frances Lee
Elizabeth Glascock

PAGE FIVE

The authenic college Tuxedo
correct for every event on
the University social calendar.
Tailored in the English manner
loose fitting coat with satin
lanels and wide trousers. A
value that is beyond comparison.

GRAVES, COX & CO.

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*