PAGE FIVE"

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL
"Do you file your finger nails?"
"Say, you
"No, I just throw them away after
those two
blekes bid to pay tonight was $19.10." I cut them off."
, Second Gold Digger "Well, they
said the
'"ought to have ordered those two bars "This is my
of chocolate for themselves." Sniper. Siamese twin, introducing his brother.

First Gold Digger
jcbow the dinner check

,"

And Cut

W. AND L. TO PLAY

e

te Order

UStatfteY House
0

The Store That Serves
.

McVey and

Stationery
l

Pennants
Novelties and Supplies

Campus Book StoUe
Gym Building

I

m

youe

Cooper

Dr. Frank L. McVey, president of
the university, and Thomas P. Cooper,
dean of the College of Agriculture,
were among the speakers at the first
harvest festival at the Robinson sub- experiment station at Quicksand,
Breathitt county, Thursday and Friday of last week.
Dean Cooper, the first speaker of
the fair, proposed the establishment of
a historical museum in which could
be kept historic books and treasured
articles, such as formed the display
at the fair. He also asked the cooper
ation of the people in forestry work
since the growing of timber is one
of the most paying industries of that
section. The land seems to be panic
ularly adapted to the growth of hard
,
wood trees.
Dr. McVey spoke of the many xe
sources of Breathitt county, and pre
dieted that' with the building of good
roads the county would be one of the
wealthiest of the state.

Fountain Pens

STRUGGLE

ic

Festival

Eversharp Pencils

SEMI ANNUAL
IS ON!

Yes, sir! That's mr.truth put down
gently.lt really is a hotly contested
battle. If you'd see.jsome of us I
Tappa Kegs grab a girl and say "Yes,
sir, that's my baby" and then see the
Mu Delts give the "por,e." li'l thing a
yank and repeat, "Ys, sir; that's
my baby," you'd realize that the war
is on and, like all wars, the innocent
suffer with the guilty.
Akkie and I went to the mob scene
in Rec Hall which the
gives to open up the brawl, and all
we heard was such things as, "I'm
all broken up over you;" and ''Every
night I cry myself to sleep over, you."
Let me who from the wisdom of
has had had such a broad
experience, tell you something, new
girls. They don't mean' a word of it
And, at 6 o'clock
not a darn word
they're so blooming glad you all are
gone they don't know what to do; and
all this blubber, calling you "dear''
and "honey'', and "you" look perfectly
beautiful in that dregfs," they don't
mean a word of it. JIhey told me
so; in fact, they calljyou "dumbell"
pot around;
and "idiot" when
and if you happen, to have on your
very best silk if rora .Pcuunk and think
you look very chic,jy6ud. Aever recog-- .
nize yourself by ,,thlp descriptions
brta 'like thi
which' wouldispund
"that rag Narcissus Hc&d had on was
a cry for help, why it' fastened in
the back and everything is slip-o- n
this year. Can you imagine such ignorance?"
Oh, and from my Sophomore wisdom, I want to tell you new girls a
few things. I meant to do if last
week but I had to tell you then how
important I was so you'd appreciate
my advice more. There are a few
things which count in this race. First
one must play bridge as Hoyle does.
Of course, most people are perfect
bridge players and especially college
folks, but don't let your partner work
herself side trying tq make five
for you and then inform her
you knew all the time that she had
dealt wrong just as she herself discovers the tragedy. It just isn't being done.
And be popular with the opposite
sex. That's a. necessity, not a luxury.
You see, we sorority girls, being of
a type which would
tol Troy,
and Cleopatria to shaWe, oust judge
a girl by the number of dates. It
really is the only thing which counts,
don't you know?
And last but not least don't act
like you are sensible or a substantial girl. That'll never do. And
neVep let them suspect that you make
all A's., You'll just be ruined. if they
fhuf thSt out.
Anyway, I don't agree with Funic
and Wagnall all the time but they
know what they are talking about
when they define rushing as a
contest between two or
more bodies of persons each trying to
force the other back. However, all of
us, Rose O'Grady and the Colonel's
lady, I Tappa Keggs, Mu Delts, and
all our other enemies, not to mention
the innocent victims of this, gratefully
offer a prayer of thanksgiving to
Heaven that it will soon be over.

Appear on Program at the
Quicksand First Harvest

Loose Leaf Note Books
a

OUR

le

4

:

Thoughts of the Weak!

H

Lw

f

V

J'

The pretty black squirrel at the top
give,
of this page will
a nut to the student who can tell
where he has heard this before: "Did
you all know we didn't lose a bid?
We got a Delt son, a S. A. E. cousin,
a D. K. E. brother, and a Beta grand-

1

seftSefsV

father."
It grieves us greatly to have to
publicly correct a man of Professor
Funkhouser's intelligence, but he
made the remark in class that you
didn't see ancient beasts wandering
around the, campus any more and as
we know several. of these personally
w'e felt it, our duty, to correct him. .
We hear there's great joy in the
Kappa Sigi ranks. The reason" is the
new- Cadillac "sport roadster.
Lucky
Many of the other frats are
dogs!
praying that their brother chapters
out in the great open spaces where
men aje men will open up their
hearts to Kentucky and send a
perhaps.
i

Rolls-Royc- e,

jj

J

Camels add the charm of living
WHETHER through the tasks of
fevary day, or in life's moments of
crisis and great reward, the com-fa- rt
aad understanding of Camel
cheers us on our way. For no other
'IcijKCtte was ever so friendly, so
Isjyal at Camel. The unf athomed
gsWdmess, the deep underlying

grown. Hie land of blending that
only such a group of experts could
give. Regardless of what you are
willing to pay, there is no other
cigarette like Camel; there can be

no better cigarette made than
Camels. Camels never tire the
taste, no matter how indef atigably

finality of Camel tobaccos is you smoke them, never leave
dgaretty
(The world's largest tobacco
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for Camels. The choicest
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t. J.

K1YNOLDS

TOBACCO

after-tast-

a.

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If you don't yet know Camel
enjoyment, just sample the most
exquisite fragrance that ever came
from a cigarette. Have 0 Camel!

COMPANY,

WINSTON-SALB-

N. C,

'
I

The Modern Psalm
The college professor is my shepth
herd and I am in dire want; he
me from' lying down in the
bed which I renteth; he drieveth me
to distraction with his exam questions.
He shaketh my resolution to get a
college degree; he leadeth me to make
a fool of myself before my classmates.
Yea, though I burneth my light un- til the landlady howleth, I fear much
evil; for he is against me.
His policies, his theories, and- - his
rantings frightenth my wits from me.
He assigneth me extra work as a
punishment' in the presence of mine
enemies; he annointeth my quiz papers with blue pencil marks, and ,my
zeros fiileth a whole column.
Surely, theories, exams, and themes
will follow me all the days of my college career; and I will dwell in the
Bell Hop.
bug house forever.

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How to Spend a Cheap Vacation
Drop a nickel in the telephone slot
and wait.
Kansas Sour Owl.

Freshmen

Smoke from good tobacco appears
blue because its infinitely small particles attach only the shorter wave
lengths of light of that color, accord-

A Short Cut to

Lucile Cook

Speak at County Fair

We carry a complete line of

l

'CATS

"father of American football." The
memorial is to be in the form of a
collonade
at the north entrance to
the Yale stadium. At the top of the
collonade will be inscribed the words
"Walter Camp Memorial" while inscribed on panels on either side will
appear names of all universities, colleges and schools that have contributed to the memorial.
The collonade will be a massive
structure 110 feet in width and 50
feet in height and will cost approximately $400,000. Of this sum half
is to be made up by the alumni of Yale
and the rest will be contributed by
institutions throughout the country.
Many different plans have been devised by various institutions for the
raising of their quota. The plan
adopted by the University of Ken- tucKy is to sell souvenir programs
at 15 cents each. It is hoped by this
charge that every person attending
the game will aid the fund by buying
a program. Any deficiency in raising
the university's quota by this means
will be made up by the university
athletic council.

Suits and Overcoats

'The Students

FOOD

The Washing and Lee game to be
played here October 16 has been designated by officials of the university
as the Walter Camp Memorial game,
one of the purposes of which is to
raise money to go toward erecting
a memorial to the late football mentor.
The memorial is an outgrowth of
the requests of college students
throughout the country to give some
recognition to the man known as the

ESTABLISHED ENGLISH UNIVERSITY
STYLES, TAILORED OVER YOUTHFUL
CHARTS SOLELY FOR DISTINGUISHED
SERVICE IN THE UNITED STATES.

40, 45,

book-sendi-

Souvenir Programs Will Be Sold
To
Raise Money for
Collonade in Honor of
Walter Camp

CLOTHES
Ready-mad-

To accomodate patients of the city's
hospitals, the public library of Portland, Oregon, has established a
service which is distributed
from shelves equipped with wheels.

MEMORIAL GAME
I S OCTOBER 1 6

txograpny ana geograpny ana ounr apww
features. Printed on Bible Paper.
See It at Your CoOef Booktton or Writa for
Publiihmr.
Information to
G. & C. MOMIAM CO.

for

I s Success

and Y. W. Party in New
Gym Attracts Large
Crowd

On Friday night the Men's gymnasium was the scene of a "Country

Fair," the name given to the annual
College Night which
is sponsored
each year by the Y. M. and Y. W. C. A.
for the entertainment of new students
of the university.
The party opened with a series of
games conducted by
Elfo King, physical director for the
city Y. M. C. A. The outstanding
feature 'of this part :of. the- program
was a grand march which lasted for
about twenty minutes and served to
start the features.
The gym was Jined with boothes
and the arrangement gave the impression that one was strolling around a
country fair. At
real
the entrance door each guest was given a ticket and a punch in this ticket
furnished the only necessary admission
fee for each attraction.
One of the most popular attractions
was Mrs. Doyle, the fortune teller,
who read the palms and thrilled the
hearts of all the vast assembly. Each
booth tried to outdo the other in ingenuity, resulting in a spectacle too
marvelous for words to tell. Deep-se- a
monsters (mostly canned), the wildest animals in captivity (largely collegiate), and the "anti quest" antiques
helped to make the night an exciting

tt,tttt' .....................

-

V
C-)-

one.

campus or off campus, rain
n
or shine, night or day, a Stetson is
the smartest hat and the longest lived.

Prof. Roy lloreland, of the Law college, had; a series of, kiddy car and
balloon races.. An 'Juriharmonious orchestra" furnished" music (?) all the
night. Another delightful feature of
the entertainment' was a fish pond
under the auspices of the. Woman's
Club. As a wind-u- p .for the party Mr.
Bart Peak gave a humorous reading
entitled 'VTarr River" which sent the
guests into gales of imerriment. Refreshments of ice cream and lemonade were served.

STETSON HATS
Styled for young men
"VTf

W W V WtTTTr

Pick a Qood One
"Rufus," said the wise old
senior, to the giddy young
frosh, "I see you, being
rushed around a lot. Watch

your step and take your
time. Pick a good one!"

That's smart "cracking"

whether you're picking a
"bunch" or a fountain pen.
You want both of them to
live with you a long, long
time. So it's best to step up

in solid gold, sterling silver,
d
and silver-fillered, black or mottled rubber); the point that suits
your hand stiff or flexible,
gold-fille-

d,

fine, medium, stub, oblique
or Wahl Standard Signature.

Pick any Wahl Pen, and you
get not only the smoothest,
best-lookin-

writing tool

g

Pick the style you like
(Wahls come thin and

that ever graced your hand,
but also one that from cap
to nib is practically indestructible. You could carry
a Wahl in your hip pocket
through three initiations,
and still have the best fountain pen in the world.

rial you want (Wahls come

53 to $7 for the silver or Tx0er
56 and Northward for the gpUL

to the Wahl Pen counter
right now and choose your-

self a fine Wahl Pen.

Wahls come fat): the mate

.

WAHl PEN
Evenhartt's write

C

Q

j ySMjCsj

had pal

EYERSHAR&S WRITE HAND f-

GLAD T' MEETCHA

V

-

V

My name is Wally. I'm the Eversharp
Kid. I'm disguised this year as a neat little
bookmark for you free at the Wahl
Pen and Eversharp counter. MARK MY
WORDS, youll need an Eversharp, too.

Famous Subtractions

Far from true;

Free from care.
Styles from Paris.
News from home.
Love from Dotty.
Take it from me.
Fresh from factory.
Fired from college.
Lost, strayed or stolen.

i

FULL LINE OF EVERSHARP AND WAHL PENS
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runner (late arriva:)
"Did you take my time?"
Coach "I didn't have to. You took
it yourself." Yale Record.
Cross-countr-

y

STATIONERY
DEPARTMENT

H2?

FIRST
FLOOR

*