THE KENTUCKY KERNEL
With the holiday season here nnd
most of us entirely burned out by
activities, wc find ourselves called
upon again to supply material suitable for the leisurely perusal of those
who care for the weak minded sections, and at a time when our gentle
readers have little or no patience
with the caustic comments of one
who has only a single ambition right
now: " to fold the drapery of his
couch about him and lie down to
We still possess a certain portion
of our Infantile cupidity when It
comes to Santa Claus. While we're
not expecting any windfall of presents for ourselves, we're so Imbued
with the old Christmas spirit that
we'd like to cooopcratc with the old
gentleman from the Northland long
enough to suggest certain little
trifles that wc believe our friends
First of all, we hope old Santa
Claus brings Nfna Budd a great big
doll for Henderson Dysard, "Bridge
In Ten Easy Lesslons" for Jim
Chapman, one alarm clock so he can
make his eight o'clocks for "Sunny"
Allen, a new book, "Woman In Business" ior Mlna Pate, a popular
treatise by Dorothy Dix entitled
"Get Your Man" for Joe Allen,
plenty of Christmas spirit (He'll
need It after struggling through his
activities!) for Hubert
Willis, "The Private Life of No. 7"
and for Jock Finley, plenty of interesting company while he recuperates
from the unavoidable loss of a worn
out vermiform appendix.
We were talking to somebody the
other day and he remarked a parti-
cular girl was a "man's woman."
Since then we've had occasion to
wonder many times just what kind
of a combination of feminine attributes a man's woman would be. We
confess that to date we haven't met
one. With all the modern tendency
toward conservatism in dress, manners, and talk, the feminine element
doesn't quite measure up to the
standard that we've arbitrarily
established after some little thought
on the matter.
In our opinion a man's woman
ought to be a lot better psychologist
than she will permit anybody to
understand. She will take a man's
worst faults and through her superior
ability to flatter him will make him
believe that that particular fault
is his most worthy attribute.
should be intelligent enough to
make the world believe she is fashionably dumb. She ought to have a
peculiar knack of understanding
what is expected of her and doing
something else. There's nothing like
the clement of surprise to make one
interesting. She ought to know much
about dress, and seek constantly
the advice of her masculine admirers
about the kind of clothes that she
should wear. (They will thereby
feel flattered and she will thus have
something to talk about.) She should
be able to disseminate much of the
valuable Information that is to be
gotten from a cursory contact with
life without becoming cynical. She
would be more interesting if she
would create the impression that she
is a bountiful mixture of the devil
and the angels without actually
being cither of them. And if we're
not asking too much, we'd like for
her to be Just a little bit congenial
so far as the opposite sex are concerned. Aside from these elemental
qualities, our Idea of a man's woman
would not bo especially damaged if
we should discover, at a point too
late to withdraw, that her daddy had
made a few millions in oil and that
she was the sole claimant!
Oh, yes, we haven't aired our pet
gripe yet. We can well sympathize
with the gentleman who said that
he had been paddling around in the
mud for so long that he was getting
web feet. Truly old Jupiter Pluvlus
is overdoing himself in seeing that
all the green things on earth (no
reference to freshmen) are provided
with a plentiful precipitation.
We're Just about ready to start
a new game. We haven't named it
yet, but the idea is to hurdle thif
puddles of water that stand in nice,
inviting pools on the various campus
sidewalks. If you can hurdle a
puddle of water without getting your
feet wet, you win the prize. (Try
and get it). If you can't hurdle
the puddle, you're all wet. An' that's
After standing by this long, we
wish you a Merry Christmas and a
sloppy New Year.
FOR A SCRIBE'S MONUMENT
He never referred to anyone as a
He never said of a female polo
player that she was a "dainty little
piece of femininity."
He never wrote an open letter to
He never said that a book was
authentic, an actor adequate or a
He never wrote frail as phrail.
"It has been called to my attention "
He never wrote the autobiography
of a prize fighter.
No wonder he's with the angels.
SELLS SUICIDE FILM RIGHTS
A well educated Vienna man has
offered to sell the film rights to his
suicide, which he is planning for the
near future. He plans to blow himself up with a home-mad- e
To see our stock of Christ-
mas Gift Boxes of Candy,
Shaeffer and Parker Pens,
Leather Grcjods, Perfumiz-ers- ,
Coty's and Houbi-gant- 's
Perfumes and Toilet
Waters, and many other
Drs. Slaton & Slaton
417 E. Maxwell St.
Phone Ashland 1419
"Leave your order with
Miss Carrie Bean, our
agent, at the Book-Stor- e
R. W. SMOCK
Watch You Watch
Free Prompt Delivery
Careful Watch and
Work Called For and Delivered
157 S. LIME
Take Home a Box of
Go West, Young Man! Go
West! Says Student Who
Traveled During Summer
ny Jess Laughlin
So many people in this man's
country had a convention of one
kind or another in California last
summer that it has begun to
that unless one can indifferently say, "Oh yes, we had a convention In Los Angeles last slimmer," one really doesn't belong.
Travel is broadening. To that everyone will agree. And, for the benefit of those who haven't yet heeded the lure of romantic California,
here is a somewhat condensed resume of places of interest and itinerary of travel that should prove of
If one should leave Lexington In
June or July as did several of our
pioneers last summer, one might absorb some of the hospitality of the
old South at Memphis.
Memphis, one hears of the "Broadway of America" which winds round
and round about, and sometimes
under parts of Arkansas. For flowery names for roads that are more
or less bottomless pits "when it
rains" Arkansas gets the prize lemon. In fact, after one has hypnotized his conscience as stayed a day
in seeing the baths that are supposed to cure everything from falling hair to fallen arches, you hustle
and hurry over to Texarkana to see
where we get our "midnight oil
In Texas if one gets up early in
the morning, one might get a good
view of a distant mountain or city
that might possibly be reached by
nightfall. Dajlas, being on the line
of travel, is of course viewed with
Interest. Dallas, you know, Is the
city near Fort Worth. Fort Worth
achieved prominence some years, or
was it decades ago, when some fliers
flew and flew and flew. They made
what was then familiarly known as
an endurance record.
Ah, now after about a
run over from Fort Worth
trees once more put in an appearance. The cottonwoods shower all
who drive the long shaded approach
to El Paso. The city itself Is vitally
interesting with its cosmopolite air
of OJd Mexico and New America,
combining the artistry and
of the neighboring Mexicans with the business and cleanliness of the Americans.
Of course with such a "watering
place" as Jaurez just across the Rio
Grande, no one should miss such a
rare opportunity to associate the
past with the present. Jaurez has
practically all of the vices of the
infamous Tia Juana with few of its
virtues. If anything, Juarez is the
more picturesque of these examples
of Mexican assistance to American
Soldiers with uniforms that drape
grotesquely stand on the main
streets stupidly staring at the Americans who are out of the states for
a lark. At times a caballero rides
in from the sandy wastes to slake
his thirst and eye the senoritas who
gaze at his grandness from behind
The backwardness of the Mexican
is the reason for his still achieving
If one has not seen enough of forbidden wild life after having left
El Paso and Juarez, one Includes
Tla Juana, not far south of San
Diego. Of course some people's capacities differ. To wit: A certain
couple of well known campus heroes
who graduated here last year. Of
ronrcp anvone who has read that
particular edition of the Kernel last
summer knows that the two such
upright, outstanding young men as
these were, should sue the Mexican
government for slander for suggesting such a thing as smuggling a few
bottles across the border.
It Is cold in San Diego, so after
seeing the naval air base and the
bay, the trip is made to the mecca
of conventlonlsts, Los Angeles.
while in T.nss Angeles evervone
gets the yen to see as much of the
movie colony as possible. Naturally
the college boy must rate a date
with a movie actress to satisfy his
ego and have something with which
to lord it over the brothers when
Qrauman's Chinese Theatre with
its oriental air of mystery is something unlike anything In the world.
In the forecourt there are prints of
feet and hands of most of the prominent stars who placed their testimonials there In wet concrete when
the theatre was being built.
The new city building of Los Angeles is one of the most artistic
pieces of architecture since the style
In pyramids has taken the country's
"PA" and "MA"
PAWN YOUR CARS.
So many Parisians have taken to
pawning their automobiles that the
municipal pawnshop has been compelled to refuse them until it builds
garage. With the
a new 600-clow rate of interest charged by the
municipal pawnshop and the high
rates of Paris garages, it is cheaper
to pawn than to park. Parisians even
put the car "up the spout" on Monday morning and take it out on Saturday night. Los Angeles Examiner.
Wilshire Boulevard where the limit is fifty miles or over, and where
there are surprisingly few smash- ups.
with Its huge studio
lots, its Spanish bungalows perched
Through yie ever alert editorial
staff of this Journal this department
suffered quite a few blatant errors
lost week. I had selected twelve
motion pictures as being the most
outstanding during the year 1929
which had been shown in Lexington
and they thought It best to only
print seven and let you guess at the
rest. However, it is best that we
state them all so here they are and
I trust that those bcnvolent Individuals will bo so generous as to allow
them to be published:
"In Old Arizona," William Fox
picture. All talking.
"The Man Who Laughs," Universal picture. Silent.
"The Broadway Melody,"
picture. All talking.
"The Letter," Paramount picture. All talking.
"Alibi," United Artists picture.
"The Dance of Life," Paramount picture. All talking.
"Show Boat," Universal picture.
"Bulldog Drummond," United
Artists picture. All talking.
"The Hollywood Uevue,"
picture. All talking.
"The Cocoanuts," Paramount
picture. All talking.
picture. All talking.
"The Trespasser," United Artists
picture. All talking.
good plays In a
creditable manner only to find
wc didn't give a hang whether
wc had any legitimate drama nr
not. Which, It must he said, looks
mighty had for Lexington, once
known to have a community of
One of the biggest Ideas the screen
has ever had comes to life In "The
Great Gabbo" on exhibition at the
ragged In direction nnd continuity
the story is so original that it is a
rare treat to see it. The acting of
Erich Von Strohelm Is supurb and
the dance numbers are equal, I
think, to those In "The Hollywood
One young lady asked me what
the Strand was showing this week
and was told "The Great Gabbo,"
she obviously became all atwittcr
and, in her most knowing manner
asked: "What's she playing in?"
Where's that baseball bat?
On the local silver sheet this week
Mighty" is swell dramatic fare;
"Broadway Scandals" was pitiful
and the return of Al Jolson in "Say
It With Songs' 'is little better than
an insult. "The Great Gabbo"
closes today and "The
World is being run the rest of the
week. The Strollers had
success In "Local Color" and the Ada
Meade and Orpheum are still clicking with their respective clienteles
so I suppose the rialto of Lexington
is in customary form. At least it is
safe until I begin roaming It again
after the Christmas holidays.
Two generations ago the chief
rural holidays were the Fourth of
July, the Grange picnics, the circus,
and the county fair.
FOR TENDER FEET
Feeney's Shoe Store
Christmas gives us the opportunity we have wanted
to extend our personal
thanks for your friendship
and patronage and to wish
you happiness and prosperity during the New Year.
Miss Louise Ottenback and Miss
Susan Cook, of the Beta Sigma Oml-cro- n
sorority, spent the week-en- d
at Miss Ottenback's home In Louisville.
Mr. and Mrs. L. E. Grilling
The Kenutcky chapter of Triangle wishes to announce the initiation of Messrs. (JHarles Ranse Kast-ne- r,
Robert Q. Moss, Frank E. Scott,
"Where Friends Meet"
and Osborne Kenneth Sharpe.
Must Be a Coupla Other Fellas
If we could see ourselves
As others see us.
We'd swear that what they see
Just can not be us.
Beats the Whistle Interviewer
"Are you one of those girls who
watch the clock?"
(with dignity) "No
sir; I have a
MAKING BOTH ENDS MEET
Isn't It strange that Chi Omegas
have in late years grown so tall j;
iney protrude way below their skirts,
while the S. A. E.'s have become
so short most of them can't meet ;!
made you quarrel with Claude?"
"Well, he proposed to me again
"Where was the harm in that?"
"My dear, I had accepted him the
night before." Muskogee Phoenix.
Mr. Carter Howard visited in
cinnati last week-en-
We extend our heartfelt
appreciation and thanks
even helps you say
333 West Main
nothing at all
noticed how expressive
can be, what meaning
it can put into the simplest gesture.
The pipe even helps you say nothing
at all and that, O mortal, takes
a man among men I
Men to their pipes and women
to their lipsticks but suppose you
had no pipe and faced repression?
Suppose you had no tobacco to put
in your pipe! Empty pipes make
empty gestures that have no meaning. Filled with good tobacco, your
pipe becomes eloquent. Filled with
Edgeworth, it is Olympian I
What, no Edgeworth? Lose not
a moment haste to the mails with
the coupon. Let the machinery of
government rush to you a free
packet of good old Edgeworth,
delicious and friendly Edgeworth,
All Singing, Dancing,
Edgeworth li a careful
blend of good tobacco
(elected especially for
emlttavot never chanie.
Buy Edgeworth anywhere in two form
WVredrand BBN AMI
We will wrap packages lor mailing
"Ready Rubbed" and
"Plug Slice" 15 pock,
ct package to pound humidor tin.
Lexington Drug Co.
Thqy need hurt no longer. A
trip to this store to consult the
man In charge of this department will convince' you. No time
belter than now.
Realizing that the number of
having foot trouble lj
constantly Increasing, wc cat!
help sufferers with a dressy and
But now that Mary rolls her own
Tnat oag must larger be.
For her short skirt by the wind is
So she powders each dimpled knee.
Who sent you to college
free of charge
These twelve, in my estimation,
are highly representative of the
kaleidoscopic changes the screen has
undergone and are all pictures that
I would like to see again.
Which reminds me of two return engagements that Lexington
had this week at the Ben AH
theater: namely, Will Rogers the
first two days and "The Cockeyed
World" the rest of the week. I
enjoyed seeing both of these again
There's the gink who owes for food, and only wish that the local
theaters would practice this sysThe man who owes for drink;
The chap who owes for fancy tem more often.
Another gross error in this column
Or for the kitchen sink.
last week that I stated that it was
the last issue of the paper this year.
Some owe for six-tuSince seeing that in print I learned
(Alas, and so 'do I) ;
Some owe for snappy roadsters that we would have one this week
countermanding the former execuwhich
tive order. All of which means that
Make midnight oil run high.
my last week's drivel should have
run this week. Maybe they wouldn't
All these may be forgiven, yes,
have botched it all to pieces had I
For gotten, too, we know;
But the meanest man keeps your waited.
It is with a feeling of mortificaTill time to shovel snow.
tion that I admit that Lexington
cannot appreciate a stock company
MARY UP TO DATE
even though it be of the high
calibre of the Alney Alba Players
Mary had a little bag,
who closed here Saturday night
She kept her powder in it;
to open afresh in an Ohio city.
She also had a little rag
For over two months they gave
To dab her nose each minute.
MISS HOLLADAY'S FANCY
PACKED CANDIES TO
high like nests on craggy mountainsides. Car coming and going, everywhere. For unless one has a
swanky new car In Hollywood one
doesn't rate, no matter what other
qualifications. Even If his great
aunt was a D. A. R.
Santa Monica and Long Dcach
with its ocean bathhlng beaches, the
well remembered amusement parks
at Venice and Ocean Park. The
Cocoanut Drove where the movie
folk do quite a bit of their dancing,
the Blltmorci with Earl Burtnctt's
orchestra and the inimitable BUt-moTrio singing, Catallna Island
where the inhabitants kid the passengers when they disembark from
the steamers, the flying fish of the
Pacific Coast, the huge, hulking
hulls of battleships lying majestically offshore while the gobs enjoy
shore leave, the TJpllfters Ranch in
the heart of Hollywood and Santa
Monica where Will Rogers has his
polo team, the mansions of the stars
who command salaries much In excess of the president, all of these
things make a trip to the far west
San Francisco with its Golden
Gate, its sinister Chinatown, up and
down streets, the cold weather in
summer, Its air of commerce, sailors
of all descriptions walking the
streets, swearing, blustering, out for
What stories could be told in this
city of contrasts. As Horace Gree-l- y
said, "Go West, Young Man!"
And now there is a lot more to see
than when that famous statement
was first made.
Of 'Show Hoar Tame
die Better My,
Ct BRO. CO.
100 S. 22d St., Richmond, Va.
I'll trv vour Edizeworth. And I'll trv
It in a ood pipe.
Town and State.
Ifow let the Edtewotth came
All Song and Dialog
AGENCY TOIt Z AIT'S CANDIES