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Image 5 of The Kentucky Kernel, December 19, 1929

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Available 1 PAGE FIVE THE KENTUCKY KERNEL QSIRREL FOOD S By C. With the holiday season here nnd most of us entirely burned out by minute pressure of last the activities, wc find ourselves called upon again to supply material suitable for the leisurely perusal of those who care for the weak minded sections, and at a time when our gentle readers have little or no patience with the caustic comments of one who has only a single ambition right now: " to fold the drapery of his couch about him and lie down to pleasant dreams." We still possess a certain portion of our Infantile cupidity when It comes to Santa Claus. While we're not expecting any windfall of presents for ourselves, we're so Imbued with the old Christmas spirit that we'd like to cooopcratc with the old gentleman from the Northland long enough to suggest certain little trifles that wc believe our friends would enjoy. First of all, we hope old Santa Claus brings Nfna Budd a great big doll for Henderson Dysard, "Bridge In Ten Easy Lesslons" for Jim Chapman, one alarm clock so he can make his eight o'clocks for "Sunny" Allen, a new book, "Woman In Business" ior Mlna Pate, a popular treatise by Dorothy Dix entitled "Get Your Man" for Joe Allen, plenty of Christmas spirit (He'll need It after struggling through his activities!) for Hubert dramatic Willis, "The Private Life of No. 7" and for Jock Finley, plenty of interesting company while he recuperates from the unavoidable loss of a worn out vermiform appendix. We were talking to somebody the other day and he remarked a parti- - cular girl was a "man's woman." Since then we've had occasion to wonder many times just what kind of a combination of feminine attributes a man's woman would be. We confess that to date we haven't met one. With all the modern tendency toward conservatism in dress, manners, and talk, the feminine element doesn't quite measure up to the standard that we've arbitrarily established after some little thought on the matter. In our opinion a man's woman ought to be a lot better psychologist than she will permit anybody to understand. She will take a man's worst faults and through her superior ability to flatter him will make him believe that that particular fault She is his most worthy attribute. should be intelligent enough to make the world believe she is fashionably dumb. She ought to have a peculiar knack of understanding what is expected of her and doing something else. There's nothing like K. BARNES the clement of surprise to make one interesting. She ought to know much about dress, and seek constantly the advice of her masculine admirers about the kind of clothes that she should wear. (They will thereby feel flattered and she will thus have something to talk about.) She should be able to disseminate much of the valuable Information that is to be gotten from a cursory contact with life without becoming cynical. She would be more interesting if she would create the impression that she is a bountiful mixture of the devil and the angels without actually being cither of them. And if we're not asking too much, we'd like for her to be Just a little bit congenial so far as the opposite sex are concerned. Aside from these elemental qualities, our Idea of a man's woman would not bo especially damaged if we should discover, at a point too late to withdraw, that her daddy had made a few millions in oil and that she was the sole claimant! Oh, yes, we haven't aired our pet gripe yet. We can well sympathize with the gentleman who said that he had been paddling around in the mud for so long that he was getting web feet. Truly old Jupiter Pluvlus is overdoing himself in seeing that all the green things on earth (no reference to freshmen) are provided with a plentiful precipitation. We're Just about ready to start a new game. We haven't named it yet, but the idea is to hurdle thif puddles of water that stand in nice, inviting pools on the various campus sidewalks. If you can hurdle a puddle of water without getting your feet wet, you win the prize. (Try and get it). If you can't hurdle the puddle, you're all wet. An' that's that! After standing by this long, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a sloppy New Year. FOR A SCRIBE'S MONUMENT He never referred to anyone as a scribe. He never said of a female polo player that she was a "dainty little piece of femininity." He never wrote an open letter to anyone. He never said that a book was authentic, an actor adequate or a play devastating. He never wrote frail as phrail. "It has been called to my attention " He never wrote the autobiography of a prize fighter. No wonder he's with the angels. SELLS SUICIDE FILM RIGHTS A well educated Vienna man has offered to sell the film rights to his suicide, which he is planning for the near future. He plans to blow himself up with a home-mad- e infernal machine. DON'T FAIL To see our stock of Christ- mas Gift Boxes of Candy, Shaeffer and Parker Pens, Leather Grcjods, Perfumiz-ers- , Coty's and Houbi-gant- 's Perfumes and Toilet Waters, and many other useful articles DENTISTS Drs. Slaton & Slaton Guraaty Bask 204-- 7 Fheae S6U BulMinr MICHLER, FLORIST, Inc 417 E. Maxwell St. Phone Ashland 1419 "Leave your order with Miss Carrie Bean, our agent, at the Book-Stor- e or Post Office." OWEN'S VIADUCT PHARMACY R. W. SMOCK Watch You Watch Free Prompt Delivery Careful Watch and Clock Repairing Work Called For and Delivered PHONE 7638 157 S. LIME :tnHmni;nt' Take Home a Box of Go West, Young Man! Go West! Says Student Who Traveled During Summer ny Jess Laughlin So many people in this man's country had a convention of one kind or another in California last summer that it has begun to that unless one can indifferently say, "Oh yes, we had a convention In Los Angeles last slimmer," one really doesn't belong. Travel is broadening. To that everyone will agree. And, for the benefit of those who haven't yet heeded the lure of romantic California, here is a somewhat condensed resume of places of interest and itinerary of travel that should prove of Inestimable value. If one should leave Lexington In June or July as did several of our pioneers last summer, one might absorb some of the hospitality of the Leaving old South at Memphis. Memphis, one hears of the "Broadway of America" which winds round and round about, and sometimes under parts of Arkansas. For flowery names for roads that are more or less bottomless pits "when it rains" Arkansas gets the prize lemon. In fact, after one has hypnotized his conscience as stayed a day in seeing the baths that are supposed to cure everything from falling hair to fallen arches, you hustle and hurry over to Texarkana to see where we get our "midnight oil (and gas)." In Texas if one gets up early in the morning, one might get a good view of a distant mountain or city that might possibly be reached by nightfall. Dajlas, being on the line of travel, is of course viewed with Interest. Dallas, you know, Is the city near Fort Worth. Fort Worth achieved prominence some years, or was it decades ago, when some fliers flew and flew and flew. They made what was then familiarly known as an endurance record. Ah, now after about a run over from Fort Worth trees once more put in an appearance. The cottonwoods shower all who drive the long shaded approach to El Paso. The city itself Is vitally interesting with its cosmopolite air of OJd Mexico and New America, combining the artistry and of the neighboring Mexicans with the business and cleanliness of the Americans. Of course with such a "watering place" as Jaurez just across the Rio Grande, no one should miss such a rare opportunity to associate the past with the present. Jaurez has practically all of the vices of the infamous Tia Juana with few of its virtues. If anything, Juarez is the more picturesque of these examples of Mexican assistance to American prohibition. Soldiers with uniforms that drape grotesquely stand on the main streets stupidly staring at the Americans who are out of the states for a lark. At times a caballero rides in from the sandy wastes to slake his thirst and eye the senoritas who gaze at his grandness from behind dark gratings. The backwardness of the Mexican is the reason for his still achieving the romantic. If one has not seen enough of forbidden wild life after having left El Paso and Juarez, one Includes Tla Juana, not far south of San Diego. Of course some people's capacities differ. To wit: A certain couple of well known campus heroes who graduated here last year. Of ronrcp anvone who has read that particular edition of the Kernel last summer knows that the two such upright, outstanding young men as these were, should sue the Mexican government for slander for suggesting such a thing as smuggling a few bottles across the border. It Is cold in San Diego, so after seeing the naval air base and the bay, the trip is made to the mecca of conventlonlsts, Los Angeles. while in T.nss Angeles evervone gets the yen to see as much of the movie colony as possible. Naturally the college boy must rate a date with a movie actress to satisfy his ego and have something with which to lord it over the brothers when he returns. Qrauman's Chinese Theatre with its oriental air of mystery is something unlike anything In the world. In the forecourt there are prints of feet and hands of most of the prominent stars who placed their testimonials there In wet concrete when the theatre was being built. The new city building of Los Angeles is one of the most artistic pieces of architecture since the style In pyramids has taken the country's "PA" and "MA" PAWN YOUR CARS. So many Parisians have taken to pawning their automobiles that the municipal pawnshop has been compelled to refuse them until it builds garage. With the a new 600-clow rate of interest charged by the municipal pawnshop and the high rates of Paris garages, it is cheaper to pawn than to park. Parisians even put the car "up the spout" on Monday morning and take it out on Saturday night. Los Angeles Examiner. Wilshire Boulevard where the limit is fifty miles or over, and where there are surprisingly few smash- ups. Hollywood with Its huge studio lots, its Spanish bungalows perched WITH Feet Hurt? MAnn oc Through yie ever alert editorial staff of this Journal this department suffered quite a few blatant errors lost week. I had selected twelve motion pictures as being the most outstanding during the year 1929 which had been shown in Lexington and they thought It best to only print seven and let you guess at the rest. However, it is best that we state them all so here they are and I trust that those bcnvolent Individuals will bo so generous as to allow them to be published: "In Old Arizona," William Fox picture. All talking. "The Man Who Laughs," Universal picture. Silent. "The Broadway Melody," picture. All talking. "The Letter," Paramount picture. All talking. "Alibi," United Artists picture. All talking. "The Dance of Life," Paramount picture. All talking. "Show Boat," Universal picture. Part talking. "Bulldog Drummond," United Artists picture. All talking. "The Hollywood Uevue," picture. All talking. "The Cocoanuts," Paramount picture. All talking. "Hallelujah," picture. All talking. "The Trespasser," United Artists picture. All talking. TLP. u.s consistently good plays In a creditable manner only to find wc didn't give a hang whether wc had any legitimate drama nr not. Which, It must he said, looks mighty had for Lexington, once known to have a community of intelligent playgoers. TLR One of the biggest Ideas the screen has ever had comes to life In "The Great Gabbo" on exhibition at the Although somewhat Strand now. ragged In direction nnd continuity the story is so original that it is a rare treat to see it. The acting of Erich Von Strohelm Is supurb and the dance numbers are equal, I think, to those In "The Hollywood Revue " TLR One young lady asked me what the Strand was showing this week and was told "The Great Gabbo," she obviously became all atwittcr and, in her most knowing manner asked: "What's she playing in?" Where's that baseball bat? TLR On the local silver sheet this week terrible; "The was "Sweetie" Mighty" is swell dramatic fare; "Broadway Scandals" was pitiful and the return of Al Jolson in "Say It With Songs' 'is little better than an insult. "The Great Gabbo" Cockeyed closes today and "The World is being run the rest of the a popular week. The Strollers had success In "Local Color" and the Ada Meade and Orpheum are still clicking with their respective clienteles so I suppose the rialto of Lexington is in customary form. At least it is safe until I begin roaming It again after the Christmas holidays. that Two generations ago the chief rural holidays were the Fourth of July, the Grange picnics, the circus, and the county fair. SOFT SHOES FOR TENDER FEET Feeney's Shoe Store 143 NORTH LIMESTONE GREETINGS OF THE SEASON Christmas gives us the opportunity we have wanted to extend our personal thanks for your friendship and patronage and to wish you happiness and prosperity during the New Year. Miss Louise Ottenback and Miss Susan Cook, of the Beta Sigma Oml-cro- n sorority, spent the week-en- d at Miss Ottenback's home In Louisville. Mr. and Mrs. L. E. Grilling The Kenutcky chapter of Triangle wishes to announce the initiation of Messrs. (JHarles Ranse Kast-ne- r, Robert Q. Moss, Frank E. Scott, CONFECTIONERY ROSE STREET "Where Friends Meet" and Osborne Kenneth Sharpe. Must Be a Coupla Other Fellas If we could see ourselves As others see us. We'd swear that what they see Just can not be us. Cincinnati Enquirer. Beats the Whistle Interviewer "Are you one of those girls who watch the clock?" (with dignity) "No Applicant ." sir; I have a Buffalo Evening News. MAKING BOTH ENDS MEET Isn't It strange that Chi Omegas have in late years grown so tall j; iney protrude way below their skirts, while the S. A. E.'s have become so short most of them can't meet ;! their bills. I Beggar "What made you quarrel with Claude?" "Well, he proposed to me again last night." "Where was the harm in that?" "My dear, I had accepted him the night before." Muskogee Phoenix. Absent-Minde- d Mr. Carter Howard visited in cinnati last week-en- ji We extend our heartfelt appreciation and thanks ;! j! The Pipe MERRY CHRISTMAS ji even helps you say ' GOLDBERG'S j! 333 West Main Cin- SUNDAY- - nothing at all noticed how expressive can be, what meaning it can put into the simplest gesture. The pipe even helps you say nothing at all and that, O mortal, takes a man among men I Men to their pipes and women to their lipsticks but suppose you had no pipe and faced repression? Suppose you had no tobacco to put in your pipe! Empty pipes make empty gestures that have no meaning. Filled with good tobacco, your pipe becomes eloquent. Filled with Edgeworth, it is Olympian I What, no Edgeworth? Lose not a moment haste to the mails with the coupon. Let the machinery of government rush to you a free packet of good old Edgeworth, delicious and friendly Edgeworth, cool. FROM "Tanried Leg! V ANN . With PENNINGTON All Singing, Dancing, Talking Edgeworth li a careful blend of good tobacco (elected especially for It quality emlttavot never chanie. Buy Edgeworth anywhere in two form SeYELL0W jia I I . YOU'VE jj CHRISTMAS GREETINGS! pencil with the WVredrand BBN AMI We will wrap packages lor mailing "Ready Rubbed" and "Plug Slice" 15 pock, ct package to pound humidor tin. EDGEWORTH SUNDAY "The Mississippi Gambler" JOSEPH SCHILDKRAUT Lexington Drug Co. Thqy need hurt no longer. A trip to this store to consult the man In charge of this department will convince' you. No time belter than now. Realizing that the number of people having foot trouble lj constantly Increasing, wc cat! help sufferers with a dressy and comfortable slipper. But now that Mary rolls her own Tnat oag must larger be. For her short skirt by the wind is blown So she powders each dimpled knee. Who sent you to college free of charge Do Your jTMI These twelve, in my estimation, are highly representative of the kaleidoscopic changes the screen has undergone and are all pictures that I would like to see again. TLR Which reminds me of two return engagements that Lexington had this week at the Ben AH theater: namely, Will Rogers the first two days and "The Cockeyed World" the rest of the week. I enjoyed seeing both of these again BOORROWERS. There's the gink who owes for food, and only wish that the local theaters would practice this sysThe man who owes for drink; The chap who owes for fancy tem more often. ' TLR clothes Another gross error in this column Or for the kitchen sink. last week that I stated that it was the last issue of the paper this year. radios Some owe for six-tuSince seeing that in print I learned (Alas, and so 'do I) ; Some owe for snappy roadsters that we would have one this week countermanding the former execuwhich tive order. All of which means that Make midnight oil run high. my last week's drivel should have run this week. Maybe they wouldn't All these may be forgiven, yes, have botched it all to pieces had I For gotten, too, we know; But the meanest man keeps your waited. TLR mower It is with a feeling of mortificaTill time to shovel snow. tion that I admit that Lexington cannot appreciate a stock company MARY UP TO DATE even though it be of the high calibre of the Alney Alba Players Mary had a little bag, who closed here Saturday night She kept her powder in it; to open afresh in an Ohio city. She also had a little rag For over two months they gave To dab her nose each minute. eye. MISS HOLLADAY'S FANCY PACKED CANDIES TO high like nests on craggy mountainsides. Car coming and going, everywhere. For unless one has a swanky new car In Hollywood one doesn't rate, no matter what other qualifications. Even If his great aunt was a D. A. R. Santa Monica and Long Dcach with its ocean bathhlng beaches, the well remembered amusement parks at Venice and Ocean Park. The Cocoanut Drove where the movie folk do quite a bit of their dancing, the Blltmorci with Earl Burtnctt's orchestra and the inimitable BUt-moTrio singing, Catallna Island where the inhabitants kid the passengers when they disembark from the steamers, the flying fish of the Pacific Coast, the huge, hulking hulls of battleships lying majestically offshore while the gobs enjoy shore leave, the TJpllfters Ranch in the heart of Hollywood and Santa Monica where Will Rogers has his polo team, the mansions of the stars who command salaries much In excess of the president, all of these things make a trip to the far west most enjoyable. San Francisco with its Golden Gate, its sinister Chinatown, up and down streets, the cold weather in summer, Its air of commerce, sailors of all descriptions walking the streets, swearing, blustering, out for adventure. What stories could be told in this city of contrasts. As Horace Gree-l- y said, "Go West, Young Man!" And now there is a lot more to see than when that famous statement was first made. mm Of 'Show Hoar Tame SERVING SMOKIIVG BEST die Better My, Ct BRO. CO. 100 S. 22d St., Richmond, Va. I'll trv vour Edizeworth. And I'll trv It in a ood pipe. LARUS I I I Street. Town and State. Ifow let the Edtewotth came All Song and Dialog AGENCY TOIt Z AIT'S CANDIES I Name. I LEXINGTON TOBACCO I V I J