THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

PAGE

J-

QUIRREL

9

PREVIEWS OF
LOCAL SHOWS
STRAND

FOOD

SPRING HAS COME!
Spring has come! That's all Akkie
sings about and really, me, too. In
this Squirrel Phude column or Skunk
Phude article which the marvel of the
ages, the Kampus Kat, calls it, we is
a trifle late writing on that trite but
substantial old phrase "in spring a
's
fancy lightly turns to thoughts
of love." 'Course, all the other writers
on the very best paper south of the
Mason and Dixon line or in the old
U. S. A. for that matter, have discussed and raved over the ecstacies
which we term spring, but he who
laughs last laughs best.
And all the love cases or puppy
love affairs! You know, it's like
measles of our dear childhood days,
perfectly natural for this season of
the year. And Akkie saz some of these
love affairs are the queerest things.
"What on earth does he see in her?"
she'll ask.
And I'll answer, knowing this is
the kind of an answer she wants, the
""he" having been one of her old
flames and it hurting her famous ego
that he has strayed into foreign paths,
"Goodness knows, I don't know. Perhaps it's her car."
So Akkie goes on the campus armed
to the full, with the very best weapons
any woman can use, clothes. Bah!"
The way she fixes up to go to class
one would think she had an engagement with the Prince of Wales (which
reminds me, I see he stayed on his
last horse. Good boy!) Akkie is just
determined spring shall not find her
napping in spite of spring fever.
And speaking of spring fever, ain't
it the most delightful sensation? Not
to give a care whether you get to
class or not, and not to ever open a
book or worry about anything. Just
to sit on the I Tappa Keg porch and
dream with the warm southern
breezes lulling you into sleep, sleep,
sleep. Or perhaps, if you have
enough energy you'll walk over to the
Tavern for food or get an ice cream
cone somewhere. One must eat even
if it is spring.
"Ohr'darn. What's that, the alarm
clock? Seven o'clock! Well, I don't
give a p (hold your breath) penny!
Shut up! I'm up."
Yes, we have a first hour. There's
no rest for the weary even if it is
spring. We don't care whether we
get to class or not but the point is
of us do get there. Paragons! Most wonderful students in, the
world! Really, the university should
award us all with medals.

THEATER

"GETTING GERTIE'S GARTER"
The garter thought passe in these
days of rolled hoisery and no hosiery
at all has once more come into its
Lucile Cook
own! For "Getting Gertie's Garter,"
the famous farco, has found its way
The cow's in the corn.
into the films with Marie Prevost in
the star role. It will be seen at the
Sure her eyes they are raven:
Strand Theater beginning on next
And her hair it is curled.
Sunday. '
And God's in His heaven
The garter in this case is unique in
All's right with the world.
that it is of gold and boasts a man's
Dartmouth
picture in a minature frame which is
part of its make-uIt is around this
Why Discriminate?
unusual hosiery accessory, and the
"Do you girls really like conceited frantic efforts of Charles Ray, feamen better than the other kind?"
tured leading man to obtain posses"What other kind?" London Opin- sion of the trinket, that the plot of
ion.
the piece hinges
All Us Journalists
E. Mason Hopper directed from a
"Any previous newspaper exper- script by F. McGrew Willis. It is a
ience?"
screen version of Avery Hopwood's
Newly graduated "No, but I was screamingly funny stage play. Promeditor of my college paper."
inent in the cast are Del Henderson,
"Oh, I'm so sorry, we've got an Harry Myers, Sally Rand, Fritzi
editor now." Judge.
Ridgeway, Lila Leslie, Franklin Pang-bor- n
and William Orlamond.
Squirrel News
It takes 1,500 nuts to hold an auto"SPECIAL DELIVERY"
mobile together, but It only takes one
Eddie Cantor introduces a new verto scatter it all over the landscape.
in his
Safety Bulletin sion of the Three Musketeers
latest Paramount comedy, "Special
Stude "I think you're heavenly. I Delivery" which comes to the Strand
Instead of
adore your dress, your beautiful hair, Theater on Wednesday.
your wonderful eyes. Oh, your eyes the conventional trio of buddies who
rollick their way through the story in
are ecstatic."
of the motto "One for all
d
"Oh, now you're exaggerat- fulfillment
and all for one" Cantor introduces a
ing."
public service musketeers, a
Stude (persistent- - and pointing) trio of
policeman and a postman,
"Well, anyway, that eye's'good. Pup. fireman, a
who are rivals in love and only run
"Boy! I met one smooth woman at true to form when the object 'of their
in danger.
that dance, a countess from some for- rivalry is Cantor is the postman, a
Eddie
eign country."
rookie letter carrier who blunders into
"Russia?"
sorts of hilarious misadventures.
"Not much, her husband was with all
Donald Keith is the fireman and Jact
her." Dartmouth
Dougherty the Cop on the Beat.
Ralston is the girl for whose
On the Train
favors the three are constantly bat"
so I checked everything,
tling. William Powell, that smooth,
even my suitcase. And if it doesn't
suave villain of dramatic roles, is the
come, I won't have anything to sleep common enemy against whom the
in tonight."
three unite. Others in the cast are
One of those lecture tour EnglishVictor Potel, Paul Kelly and Mary
men "My word, you Americans! How
Carr.
DO you sleep in one of the bally
Co-e-

n.

things?"

"I'll have

BEN
you

know

there's blue

blood in my veins."
"I hope you are taking something

for it."

ALi THEATER

"HEY, HEY!' COWBOY"
"Hey, Hey! Cowboy," starring Hoot
Gibson, will be the feature at the Ben
Ali Theater Sunday.

freshman signed up for his
courses as "A. Swindler." The dean,
noticing this, summoned the lad and
told him to avoid trouble he had better write his name ii full. After
some hesitation the freshman wrote
"Adam Swindler."
A

"RISKY BUSINESS"
There was a time when the motion
picture that didn't contain a fire, a
wreck and an explosion could hardly
lay claim to the title of film entertainment.
Vera Reynold's latest starring veProf, (assiging work) "For the hicle, "Risky Business," which will be
next class prepare seven chapters in on view at the Ben Ali Theater next
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday,
the text."
Voice from the rear "Thank the contains no fire and no wreck, but it
Another poem the literary editor
Lord, this is the only course I'm tak- does make use of an explosion; a very
refused to publish:
unspectacular one that is part of the
Poem
ing."
contributing factors to the biggest,
The year's at the Spring;
and most continuous explosions of
At Ohio State University 210
The day's in the morn.
answer to the name of Mary.
mirth injected into a firm dramatic
The sheep's in the meadow;

.nine-tent-

'

co-e-

offering for a long time. It's only a
water heater that blows up, but the
consequences
not written in maimed
bodies or scalded faces, but in scream
ingly funny satire on the mishaps that
households
occur in the best-keare both comic and dramatic.
Intercollegiate Book Will Be Off
Alan Hale directed the picture,
Press this Month; Over
Kenneth Thomson,
Ethel Clayton,
One Hundred Colleges
Zasu Pitts, Ward Crane, Louis Nath
Are Represented
eaux, George Irving and Louise Cabo
are in the cast.
KENTUCKY IS INCLUDED
Three acts of vodvil will complete
the program.
For nearly two years representatives of more than one hundred of
KENTUCKY THEATER
the foremost American universities
have been cooperating in an effort to
"THE PERFECT SAP"
put together in one volume the of"The Perfect Sap," based on "Not ficial alma mater and principal foot
Herbert," a successful Broadway ball (or "fight") songs of the Ameri
stage play by Howard Irving Young, can universities. Thorton W. Allen
is the Kentucky's feature this week(Washington and Lee), well known
end.
a"s the composer and
publisher of
Ben Lyon will have the featured college songs, has just announced that
a
the new book has finally gone to press
role in this picture, a
packed with thrills and comedy and will be ready for distribution this
month. Over half of the edition has
situations.
Howard Higgin, who has turned out been subscribed for, and as this edia string of highly successful pictures tion is limited the subscription' comof late for the Robert Kane Produc- mittee is xurging all those who desire
copies to order them as early as postions, directed.
The combination of Higgin and sible. The orders will be filled as
Lyon has proved decidedly success- received until the edition is exhausted.
ful in the past in "The Great DeEvery effort has been put forth to
ception," "The New Commandment," make this new volume as attractive
and "The Reckless Lady." Other pic- as possible. In addition to the 256
tures directed by Higgin include, "The pages of music printed on dull finWilderness Woman," which is proving ished Oxford paper, there are sixteen
one of the big successes of the season. pages of text matter and eight pages
of illustrations (photographs of the
"TIN HATS"
largest and most important college
stadiums in America). All of the
He's in the army again!
For after all, Tom O'Biien wasn't paper is of- ivory finish and the halfkilled in "The Big Parade," but has tone cuts are printed on heavy coatcame back 'bigger and. better" than ed stock. The books are being bound
ever in Edward Sedgwick's produc- in attractive olive green cloth with
gold lettering. The special price of
tion of "Tin Hats,' 'the
picture opening at the $3.75 has been made on this first edition only.
Kentucky theater Sunday.
Tom plays the part of a top serMany of the songs are printed in
geant in the Army of Occupation in this volume for the first time and also
this comedy of post war days in included are the greatest college song
Germany, which not only brings him hits of record. Among the most popback to life as a soldier, but gives ular football songs are included "The
him a promotion as well.
Golden Bear" (California), "As The
In "Tin Hats," Tom is a member Backs Go Tearing By" (Dartmouth),
of a cast that incldes Claire Wind-so- "The Brown Cheering Song," "ForConrad Nagel, Bert Roach and ward the White" (Bowdoin), "Arizona
George .Cooper. The story is an orig- Grid March," "Lord Geoffrey
Aminal by Sedgwick and the adaptation herst," "Yea, Alabama," "Fight For
was done by Lew Lipton. Donald The Glory of Carnegie," "Flag of
Jl.ee wrote the continuity.
Maroon" (Chicago), "Trombone Song"
(C. C. N. Y.), "Roar, Lion, Roar"
"VITAPHONE"
(Columbia), "The Big Red Team"
The Kentucky thater has installed (Cornell), "O Davidson," "Here's to
Vitaphone at a cost of twenty-tw- o
the Man Who Wears the 'D' "
thousand dollars, thus bringing to (Drake), "Rambling Wreck of GeorLexington entertainment on a par gia Tech," "Bullett Song" (Gettys-burghwith every city of equal size, and even
"Harvardiana," "Illinois Loymatching that of New York, Chicago alty," "Indiana, Our Indiana," "I'm a
(Kansas), "The Victors"
and Los Angeles.
The Kentucky theater has selected (Michigan), "Northwestern Push on
as its opening program on Vitaphone Song," "Hike Notre Dame," "Across
an Address by Will Hays, Roy Smeck, the Field" (Ohio State), "Mighty
the wizard of the strings, Mary Lewis,
singing old Southern melodies and
Martinella, New York Grand Opera

WILL PUBLISH
COLLEGE SONGS

comedy-melodram-

-.

n,

FIVE

Oregon," "The Nittany Lion" (Penn Song Book should be placed at once
State), "The Red and Blue" (Pennsyl- with the college cooperative store or
vania), "The Panther" (Pittsburgh), local dealer, or sent direct to the pub"Princeton Canon Song March," "On lisher, Thornton W. Allen, 113 W.
the Banks of the Old Raritan" (Rut- 57th Street, New York City. If orders
gers), "Trojan War Song" (Southern are sent direct to the publisher they
California), "The Cardinal Is Wav- must be accompanied by check or
ing" (Stanford), "Hip, Hip, Hip for money order.
Old Swathmore," "Saltine Warrior"
(Syracuse), "The Olive and the Blue"
Tulane). "On Brave Old Army U. K.
School
Team'r a.. ."Fight Away" (West
Book
Point), "Anchor's A weigh" and
"There's an Aggregation" (Navy),
"Utah Man," "Vermont Victory" Dr. E. M. Coulter Publishes "The
(Vermont), "Old Wabash," "Bow
Civil War and Readjustment
Down to Washington" (University of
in Kentucky"
Washington), "Washington and Lee
Swing," Victory March" (Wesleyan),
"The Civil War and Readjustment
"Hail West Virginia," "Yard by Yard" in Kentucky," by Dr. E. M. Coulter,
(Williams), "Down the Field" (Yale), teacher in the University of Kentucky
and a host of others.
summer school, has just been received
Represented in the first volume are by the Lexington Public Library.
The author, Dr. E. M. Coulter, is a
more than 100 of the foremost universities, among them the following: member of the history department of
Alabama, Arizona, Amherst, Bates, the University of Georgia, and taught
Bowdoin, Brown, Bucknell, California, in the summer school here in 1924. He
Carnegie Tech, Chattanooga, Chicago, will be a member of the summer facCity College of New York, Colgate, ulty the coming year and will teach
Colorado University, Colorado Col- several classes in history.
lege, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth,
The new book describes the history
Davidson, Denison, Dickinson, Drake, of Kentucky in the Civil War. relating
Fordham, Franklin and Marshall, the history of the state to the final
Georgetown, Georgia Tech, George surrender to the north.
The period
Washington, Gettysburg, Harvard, following the war is also described
Hobart, Holy Cross, Heidel- in the story.
Hamilton,
berg, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa
Much of the
State, Kansas, Kentucky, Lafayette, done in the public research work was
Lehigh, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Coulter. Misses library here by Dr.
Florence Dillard and
Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, Carrie Hunt of the library,
and
Northwestern, Notre Dame, Nevada,! Edward. Tuthill, of the University Dr.
of
New York University, North Caro- Kentucky history
department, assislina, North Carolina State, Oberlin, ted the author in collecting data
for
Ohio State, Ohio Wesleyan, Oregon, several
historic references in the book.
Pennsylvania, Penn State, Pittsburgh,
rrinceton, Koanoke, Kutgers Sewanee,
South Carolina, Southern California,
Texas University is giving special
Stanford, Swathmore, Syracuse, Ten- recognition to its Jewish students. A
nessee, Texas, Texas C. U., Tulane, drive is being conducted on the camU. S. Hilitary Academy. U. S. Naval pus to raise $500,000 to build a house
Academy, Utah, Ursinus, Union Ver for them. In the proposed structure
mont, Virginia, Wabash, University of will be rooms for the students, an
Washington, V ashington State, auditorium, and other features.
Washington and Lee, Wesleyan U.,
Western Reserve. West Virginia. Wil
Men may wear anything except
liams, Wisconsin, Wittenberg, Wyom- tuxedos, even bathing suits, says
an
ing and Yale. One section devoted to announcement
of an informal dance
women's colleges includes , songs of
at McGill University. The man deBarnard, Bryn Wawr, Goucher,
graded enough to wear a tux
Smith, Sweet Briar, Vassar, branded a parish, an outcast, will be
a social
etc.
outlaw, unfit'to associate with respecAll orders for the Intercollegiate table women and children.

Summer
Teacher Writes

Rad-cliff- e.

),

When, smart Style, is combined,
ivitli, quality
as it is in, a
Stetson.
there, can. be. iio
queslion. as to the. hatyoic

Jay-Haw-

--

sw

sliouhL wear

ENGLISH

star.

The Vitaphone features will be run
in addition to the regular film pro- -

'Collitch" Vernacular Furn
gram. "Tin Hats," a
nishes Theme for Feature
Picture featuring Conrad Nagel and
Article in Ohio State
Claire Windsor. It is a comedy of the
Lantern
Army of Occupation, filled to the brim
with clever humor.
"Listen, cookie pusher, I wanna
Vitaphone is sweeping the nation.
In every city where it has been pre- proposition you."
"Go ahead, parlor athlete."
sented it has created an absolute sen"I got two doves lined up for after
sation. The Kentucky theater is indeed proud to present this great at- the game. Can you get the old man's
traction to the people of the Blue chariot?"
"Nix, it costs a neat sheaf of letGrass.
tuce to take out a couple of bims
and I only got two rollers. Anyway,
0- 0 the pater's using his transportation
and I'm booked for tonight with a
swell blimp."
o
o "Aw, you're a third strike."
I can solve a quadratic equation,
"Tell you what, though
I can
but I cannot keep my bank balance put you next to a babe what don't
straight.
got only Sunday School
care if you
I can read Gothe's 'Faust" in the fare so long's you take her to a strugoriginal, but I cannot ask for a piece gle."
of bread in German.
"All right, see you at the game."
I can name the kings on England
That, folks, is a conversation in
since the War of the Roses, but I do the advanced, revised, latest, newest,
not know the qualifications of the can- etc., slang on the Ohio State Univerdidates in the coming election.
sity campus. It's "collich chatter"
I know the economic,, theories of that needs interpretation to the unMalthus and Adam Smith, but I can- initiated and here's the "lowdown" on
not live within my income.
the highspots in the late 1926 model
I can recognize the
of of the mythical campus dictionary of
a Wagner Opera, but I cannot sing slang.
in tune.
A "cookie pusher" is a "parlor athI can explain the, principles of hy- lete."
draulics, but I cannot fix a leak in the
And a "parlor athlete," necessarily
kitchen faucet.
is a "cookie pusher."
I can read the plays of Moliere in
and she also
A "dove" is a
the original, but I cannot order a meal may be a "bim," or a "blimp," or a
in French.
"babe."
I have studied the psychology of
A "chariot" is an automobile which
James and Titchner, but I cannot con- can also be a "buggy" or just plain
trol my own temper.
"transportation."
I can conjugate Latin verbs, but I
A "sheaf of lettuce" is paper
cannot write legibly,
money.
I can recite hundreds of lines of
"Rollers" means silver dollars.
Shakespeare, but I do not know the
"Third strike" is somebody or someDeclaration of Independence, Lin- thing totally useless.
coln's Gettysburg Address, or the
"Sunday school fare" is small
Twenty-thir- d
Psalm.
change.
Journal of N. E. A.
"Struggle" is a dance
The campus linguist also passed
A candidate for the Northwestern along a few more for those thirsting
University football team recently lost for additional knowledge along- this
his memory. The police were finally line.
able to identify him by his team's sig"Plush" is a "parlor gymnasium"
nals which he repeated continually.
where heavy "necking" is carried on.
"Smooch" is a kiss.
Twelve hundred girls at the Univer"Rassling" is another term for
Mississippi have agreed to "necking."
sity of
wear only cotton clothes until the sur"Agony" is a dance number.
plus cotton is used up.
Exchange
Metro-Goldwy-

--

I

!SSSVS

Is This Education?

eight to

'

FortyDollans
"Write for Interes.tin
Booklet
The STETSON ILT in LITERATURE
Ju&n B. Stetson Company. 'PlnLJttpLLt

X

W

I
I

STETSON HATS
Sltjlecljoryomuj
3Cen

"Leit-moti-

co-e-

These moderns demand Qamels
MODERN smokers are the most
critical ever known, and Camel is
their favorite. Why?
Camel is the one cigarette that
will stand up all day and as far
into the night as you care to go.
Modern, experienced smokers
know that they can smoke one
or a million Camels with never a
tired taste or a cigaretty after-

taste.
R.

Present-da-

J. REYNOLDS

y

smokers
TOBACCO

demand goodness, and find it in
Camels
the choicest tobaccos,
grown and matchless blending.
That is why Camel is favorite in
the modern world.
If you want the choice of the
e
smokers of all
time, if you yearn for the mellowest mildness that ever came
from a cigarette
"Have a Camel!"

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Announcement of the

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contest will appear in many
newspapers and in the following magazines:

May 7
May 14
May 21
May 14
May 5

The Saturday Evening Post
Literary Digest
Collier's Weekly
Liberty
Life

Watch this contest for the
next three months. College
men ought to win.
"The

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G.

*