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THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

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THE LOST ART O' MODESTY

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QDIRREjU

FOOD

Foolish Questions
His Job
An American friend just over from
"Do motor cars make tis lazy?" asks
a headline writc'r, who evidently never the States dropt into the Passing Show
changed a clincher tire in his life F. office with the latest jok con the Amcr
P. A. in the New York World.
A
tcan passion for standardization.
man was being questioned by an cm
Wise Precaution
ployer on his suitability for a fairly
Several pianists arc reported to be important job as a mechanic.
adopting M. Padcrowski'9 idea of
"arc
"But," said the crwploycrer,
playing with all the lights dim. It you an
man a thoroughly
makes it harder (or the audience to trained mechanic?"
take a good aim. The Passing Show
"Oh, yes," the man answered; "for
(London.)
six years I had experience at the Ford
works."
All .Prepared
"And what did you do there all that
An excited gentleman dashes into' time?"
An assistant inquires:
a store.
"Well," said the man, "I screwed on
"Do you wish anything, sir?"
nut 476." The Passing Show (Lon"Yes, I have lost my wife!"
don.
"Mourning
department
on
first
floor." Kasper (Stockholm.)
Ties That Bind
We were greatly relieved to learn
Smooth Pedestrians Wated
that out in the open spaces where they
Roads in the Home Counties are talk about
thirsts and God's
said to be particularly bumpy. And in country, their household goods arc the
our opinion they will remain so until same as ours. The signboards and the
motorists exercise more discretion in street-ca- r
cards throughout the counselecting the1 pedestrians they put try are given over to most cerdulous
arguments fc?r the
down as top dressing. The Passing and
Show (London).
use of Lux, Rinso, and the consumption of Ridgeway's. As long as we
Passing The Hat
eat the same foods, drink the same
"Shall I say my hat is in- the ring?" brews and wear the same brands of
inquired an influential citizen.
underwear, we need never fear the dis"Nio," replied Senator Sorghum. "A solving powers of Labor or Socialism.
few of ous ought to hoPd onto our hats. A man can not fight another man who
We may need' cm for the contribuhas used his tfrand of safety riizor.
tions." Washington Evening Star.
They have already suffered too much
Neither can a woman
in common.
Something Like That
look on her
who has that
They had been having a little quar- hadns feel superior to another woman
rel and she turned to him with tears who uses the same kind of soap. They
are sisters under the suds. Brooklyn
in her eyes.
"Well, John, even thp I have been Life.
extravagant, I got a bargain today."
One Might
"Yes, I'll bet it was a .bargain! You
'Now that it has be'comei known that
have no idea of th evalue of money. I
suppose you got something for noth- thirty agricultural colleges a're giving
courses in ice cream making, might
ing."
"Well, I got a birthday present for one foe pardoned for referring to them
as sundae schools? Nashville Southyou." The Continent.
ern Lumlberman.
A Silent Partner
Simple (Mathematics
Two men who were "something in
To ge tthe exact value of 100 Gerthe city" were lunching at their club
one day. "Oh," said one, "my partner man marks Write down the gigures
formerly used always to oppose my "100" then erase the one and rub the
views, but now he agrees with me in rim off both zeros. 'Danville Com
mercial Ndws.
everything.'
"How do you aocount for it?" asked
China has a three-mil- e
bandit limit,
the other.
paralleling main railway lines. This is
"Don't know," said the first. "I'm
not sure whether I convince him, or o'bserved as religiously as in the rum
runners limit in America. 'Korea.
only .make him tired." The Tatler.

Send

d
Sonic
writer hns re
cently written, "Th' world haiht goin'
t' hake no moral progress until 't kin
revivify its sense o' guilt," or In other
plainer words, until wc kin train
down t' that ole condition 0' hcin' able
t' blush an' feci ashamed. We've got t'
git back in our old 1878 form an' shun
publicity an' feci th' consciousness 0'
sin.
Wc kin remember when Maud
n
Rcvcll's Blondes appeared at
Hall in th' ole Hayes an' Tilden
days. The town council had ordered
th' lower half of all th' billboard pictures covered, an' only livery stable
keepers an' country boys took in th'
show. Those wuz th' days when a
woman would hitch around back 0'
the courthouse so nobuddy could sec
her climb in an' out of her buggy. Th'
British Blondes show wuz an Epworth
League picnic compared to th' modern
scarred-kne- e
musical revues, while th'
show bill's wuz tame compared to the
d
actual street scenes 0' t'day.
dancers with powdered backs an'
vaccinated arms leap and cavort before
th' best families, in these fast days,
camouflaged as interpretive dancers.
Th' progress we've made in surgery
an' tomato pellin' machinery is as
nothin' compared with th' rapid advances we've made in shamelessness.
Women have dropped their skirts but
bared their arms. They haint satis- field unless, they're flauntin' somethin.'
Just think o' mixin' a sweet, sensible girl up with anything like saxophone music.
Recall th' dear ole
musty parlor, and daughter settin' at
th' organ in th' pale yaller lamplight
level-heade-

Meow

n'

n'

flection 'less he's had both legs brokIt used t' be when a city millinery trimmer come t' town fcr th'
season wc thought she wuz the devil's
own advance agent, chut t'day th' gals
are so allurin' an' plentiful that th' average fellers gittin' as blase an' indifferent as a scene shifter. Wc wink at
things t'day that would have kept th'
jails crowded when wc wuz a boy.
Abe Martin.
en.

K

Patronize those who
the Kernel.

advertise in

THE ONLY WAY TO

"STRUT YOUR STUFF"
IS TO TAKE YOUR "SWEETIE" OUT FOR ARIDE IN ONE
OF OUR GASOLINE "BUGGIES."
WHY OWN A CAR WHEN YOU CAN
RENT-A-CA- R

AND DRIVE IT YOURSELF WITHOUT THE WORRY

LOW RATES
:

Open Cars
12c per Mile
Gas and Oil Extra.

T"

Open Day
and Night

L0W RATES

STUDEBAKERS,

Clo8ed Cars
14c per Mile.

FORDS AND OTHER
GOOD CARS.

Qm Md Qa

COMMERCIAL!

0pen Day

D

and Night.

the lime to plan your work for 1940.
you me doing then will depend a
good deal on what you do tocby and after
graduation and the way you do it.
Obviously, you improve your chances for a big
job if you go where big jobs are and will be.
That means fit yourself to take a place in some
industry with a future.
Thinning twenty or more years ahead is all in
the day's work, among the telephone companies
of America. The electrical generating and manufacturing companies likewise look far into the future.
To put a telephone in every home, to light the
1G,000,000 houses that are not yet wired, to devise
and promote many appliances for the comfort of
man all this will require decades of time and
billions of capital. Chiefly it will need the brains
of men.
It has long been said that electricity is in its
infancy. That is still true. You are fortunate who
can see this industry a little further along on its
way to u glorious maturity.

NOW

an Institution that will
be helped by what'
ever helps the
Industry.

is

'estern Electric Company
Alumni Solicited

Wherever teoble look to electricity for t!u
comforts and conveniences of life today, tin
Western Electric Company offers a service 113
broad as the functions of elcctricitj itself.

Number 34 of

Extn

Sf

COMPANY
314 EAST MAIN ST.

RENT-A-FOR-

calendar now.

Published in
the interest of Elec

AND

EXPENSE?

Order your 1940

trical Development by

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'

singin' White Wings, an' a solid, substantial young man hard by fecdin' her
peppermint drops, an' th' door leadin'
int' th' settin' room widd open! Is it
th' folks who cleaned up durin' and
since th' World War that's dcmoraliz-ithe country? Iivcrybuddy's look-ifor fun an' excitement and a place
to park.
Crime is rampant, an' no
matter what sort of a home is busted
into, thr's alius a lot o' diamonds an'
furs stolen.
Cliff
Bud's car was
stolen wihlc he wuz lightin' the tail
light. Nobaddy has time for sober re

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