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Image 5 of The Kentucky Kernel, April 16, 1926

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1 O- - 0 -- Charleston Charley o o Back the Kernel Advertisers! THE CRAB SESSION Edited by FOOD LUCILE COOK AKKIE'S PIN One of those night. which is lawful us freshmen to enjoy, I hud n shock which left me ns helpless ns n siren with tonsillitis. Akkic comes in on the dot promptly at eleven bells with n pin! Yes, sir, Akkie's gone nnd done it! She's pinned! He's n I Mnka Fire, nnd he certainly added fr THE CRAB girl who pnsses. She says, "If the Sigma Nus want dates with us, why First Term, June 21 to July 28 don't they get up some nerve nnd CONTRACT, Assistant Professor look up the telephone number of the Whiteside of the Cornell Law 'If Papa Nu' sorority house, and cnll Faculty. us up? We might consider giving PROPERTY, Mr. Willcox of the them n chance to prove their worth New York Bar. ns entertainers." And that's that. SURETYSHIP. Professor Camp-bel- l I don't think I need comment on it. of the Harvard Law Faculty. One fellow whispered in my MORTGAGES, Professor Campa day or so ago, that he wns at bell. present spending his time on n thesis TRUSTS, Professor Frascr, Dean on the evils found at the present time of the Minncsotn Law Faculty. in the militnry department. I know MUNICIPAL CORPORATIONS, I don't thrc, f l,om "Wf, Professor Burdick, Dean of the The alarm clock was ringing its best. to than I hnve Cornell Law Faculty. It kept right on; it wouldn't stop, Pcnk ' me " PRACTICE, Professor McCaskill " The darned thing is surely a pest. , h of the Cornell Law Faculty. ,told crawl! It's time to get up,' "T.' anything about ,.i,n t nxt Second Term, July 29 to Sept. 3 I heard someone call out to me. Time ' CONTRACT, continued. to get up? It certainly was not! thc 1 r,T l"lneM, hut to go ahead, nnd ( AGENCY, Professor Thompson of "J, to rcculV0 anV 'Twas as dark as could be. But it the University of Pittsburgh was seven o'clock, and more work to enment on it. Let's go. The start is good. SugLaw Faculty. be done, and so I had to get up. This WILLS, Professor Vance of the life is n bore. It gets on my nerves. gestions are coming in, hut some are Yale Law Faculty. Won't it ever let up? Gosh! Ain't it so short, being mere sentence prayers for changed conditions. INSURANCE, Plense eluciProfessor Vance. fierce? BANKRUPTCY, Assistant Profes"I come from the North. At least date a little. Enlarge upon your subsor Robinson of the Indiana it would be considered the North by jects. Not so long, but cnoug to give University Law Facultv. Kentuckians. My home is in north a good idea of the evil in mind. I am PARTNERSHIP, Professor Wilson west Missouri. Yes, I've heard that surprised to find that the crabbing of the Cornell Law Faculty. saying before. I came South for the letters are all about the university Professor winter. At least we consider it South. and its life. Prohibition should have CORPORATIONS, been more popular, or unpopular. Stevens of the Cornell Law Down here, you say this is the South, But, we have a good start. Keep Faculty. and then you say, 'Well, it isn't really them coming. This section is for the But what I south, like Alabama.' "may begin the study of want to know is where your southern expression of your opinions. I'll edit Students and law in the summer session. winter comes in? I came South for more censor it. Not that I know any about what should be put in the winter, and ran into something you do, but someone had to edit For catalogue, address the like thirty-on- e snows. (Ask George than it, Cornell Law School Young.) Spring has come and we you nnd I'm the Crab, anyhow. Have got my number? Look at the Ithaca. N. Y. are having such nice drizzly, chilly heading. weather. Like California, it has been an 'unusual' winter and spring. All right, but please quit misrepresenting conditions to us Northerners.' (That ought to bring forth some hot replies. Watch for them next week. A girl from a sorority house up on Maxwell street writes me and tells me that she wishes the Sigma Nus would quit hanging out of their second story 3 meals served, on the campus, every windows and trying to flirt with every school day. ' Open forenoons for sandwiches, milk, chocolate, coffee, ice lacI could have my finger-nail- s cream and candy. cnuli-flow- I I Says Charleston Charley, "The in stallment man called at our house yes terday. Wc offered him a diair, but he took the piano." Go To .f D. Morris For High Class Shoe Repairing Best Sewed Half Soles $1.25 Goodyear and O'Sullivan Rubber Heels 50c 209 E. Main Street LEXINGTON, KY. This Book Say-s- mmmed MoreThanGrass Your juicy spring pasture is good feed but it is not enough to produce a full flow of milk and maintain the condition of your cows at the same time. The Minnesota Cow Testing Associations have proved the truth of this: Farmers owning 700 cows fed nothing but grass during spring and summer. Fanners owning 300 cows fed a 'grain mixture with pasture. They were all fed alike during the winter. The records for one year show the following amazing results:. Pasture Only Grain and Pastura 700 300 238 lbs. 302 lbs. $41.87 $49.85 The cows which had grain every day during the year produced 64 pounds of butterfat per.cow more than those that ha'd pasture alone. It is true that their feed cost was slightly more than pasture, but let's see' about the net profit: - To 64 lbs. extra butterfat at 40c $25.60 Less grain, per cow for pasture 7.48 Extra proilt each grain fed cow $18.12 You can duplicate this success and get these extra profits from your cows by giving them a Corn Gluten Feed ration when they go on pasture. They will stay fresh longer, and go into next winter in better condition. Number of cows Butterfat per cow Cost of feed per cow This Valuable Book Free "The Gospel of Good Feeding" is a new book of 64 pages. It does away with guess work. It gives you the best of practical feed lot experience. It deals in a fair way with the SO best known feeding materials and tells you why Corn Gluten Feed always makes a better ration. Write today for your free copy of this book Associated Corn Products Manufacturers that." After a few more dirty digs, I heard Akkie snoring and decided I'd do the same, not snore, of course, but sleep. The next morning, about five minutes before I was to take a quizz, while studying out of Akkie's book, I found this note in it, "Will you walk through lovers' Lane, sweetheart, in the primrose path of spring?" Now, what in the Sam Hill could Lovers' Lane be ? Of course, last year it was the walk leading up to Pat hall, but that was before electric lights brightened the way. It seems the school authorities think more of electric light than they do of moonlight. After the quizz was over (it lasted only three minutes by the clock for me) Akkie began raving again and she says, "Oh, he's got the darlingest name for me. He calls me 'Ducky'." "That's probably because you quack so much," I says, but Akkie didn't hear me as she was still raving. 'He's the best looking, the sweet est, the most wonderful, the most manly, etc. (Haven't room enough for all the adjectives). 'Ah, cut it out," I says, "He's only a freckle on this planet." Hugh G. Van Pelt, Director 208 South La Salle St., Chicago, III. lNo.36 Dodges Fords Hertz All New Cars so. Shall I continue day H 1 no. Balloon Tires Basement Administration Building after day? Col. Pelican. . hen the runners are bunched on the track and suddenly Chuck, your own Lester. she had Eleanor Chinn's Packard roadster. O. taking But I'm edging intersections on Irish crochet, Though it's very tiresome to do Wesleyan Mirror. WHEN the lithe are fighting for the lead. And your own dauntless champion suddenly soars ahead and wins have a Camel! For you'll never find another friend so attuned to your triumphs as Camel. Camels are made of the choicest tobaccos they never dis. grown half-mile- Dartmouth Jack o'Lantern. Dumb-Bel- ! dwelt in Dumba Dum, And she was dumb as Doras be. And yet, this Dora had her points She fell for me. Allegheny Alligator. "He's a fraternity man." "How do you know?" "He answered to tour names in Minn. Ski. class this morning." A Dumb-bel- l Camels annihilated after-tastRegard, less of price, you'll never buy better tobaccos, or blending, or flavor than you get in Camels. So this year when the ciga-rett- Pledges: angel." Our house mother is an 'How Old Active: been dead?" long has she Oregon Owl. breath, Sixteen drinks on a und the dean of women! 's The Storey crochet Whilst thinking of my true love, flunked out of college and went far away. I have nothing else to think of. Company Phone 6120 Lafuyette-Phoenl- He kissed me x Gurage I EMMETT through for victory after victory taste then the smoke that's choice of the world's victorious. Have a Camel! Song of an Old Fashioned Co-I'- d I am edging insertions on Irish Who STUDENT REPRESENTATIVES "COWBOY" UNDERWOOD CHILES good-by- e in the hull-way- , He wept, from sorrow and gin. swore to bo true to him ulway. Ah, Clarence! so fur I huve been I could huve a young man with a Puckuru; I could be dances; the dumu of the y old school's men go W. Va. Moonshine. RENT-A-CA- R I appoint your taste. Heavens! You have the satisfaction of doing business with real friends. 1 superman spurts ahead on the finish and wins have a Camel! From the Moth Balls He: "What would you say if I jhould kiss you?" She: "At last." My re half-mile- r, Joe: "Bob says he doesn't enjoy squeezing his girl." College: "Probably she's a lemon." YOU WILL ALWAYS COME BACK have lots, of fun chances; Active: "Congratulations, old man." Newly pledged: "Same to you." Iowa Frivol TRY OUR SERVICE ONCE TT' e, 1 quered And We'd like to see the rush this Venus de Milo would get: If she were as pretty as Charlsey Smith. As popular as Katherine Brown. As "chic" as Mary Whitfield. If she made a standing of three, like Bernice Edwards. If she were as charming as Ann Williams. As "peppy" as "K. B." Best. If she wore Edna Lewis Wells' good looking clothes. As active as Edith Minihan. If she could dance like La Vergne If f "b University Cafeteria Eating Wool 'I wish vou wouldn't knit at meals. I can't tell where my spaghetti leaves oft and your sweater begins. Washington Columns. Feed Research Department J1 comment about myself once). Akkie gives me a mean look and says, "You're just the type to say that, aren't you, Ikkie? Whose un called for bundle are you?" "Well, when I take out my license to neck," I replies nastily, "it won't be with one who fc uns his brain in low gear. Tickle your ear drum with Cornell University Summer Session in Law O. Box 210.1 Right now, fresh off of the bat, I want to do a little personal crabbing. I do wish that my roommate would learn to pick n little loose wool out of my comb and put it, the comb, not the wool, bnck in the drawer when he gets throug using it. Won't someone tell mo how to break him of the habit of leaving it out on the dresser, dirty, when he gets through arranging his curly locks 7 The now contribution came in on time, ns was promised in the last issue. Here it is, and timely indeed: fuel where Akkie wns concerned. "Coo your comments," says Akkic on entering our two by four suUc. "I suppose I "should congratulate you on your match (that's the I Mnka Fire's pin; it's done in Fourth of July colors, nnd the Greek letters mean "Keep out of reach of children," so I figures out) but I don't think much of that guy. He's too stingy to spend the wdek-ennnd even his jokes have jnundice." (I heard that nri page KENTUCKY KERNEL' Into the making of this one cigarette goet all of the ability of the world's largest organization of expert tobacco men. Nothing it too good for Camels. The choicest Turkish and domestic tobaccos. The most skilful blending. The most scientific package. No other cigarette made is like Camels. No better cigarette can be made. Camels are the overwhelming choice of experienced smokers. Our hithtil with, if you Jo not ytt know Ciimtl quality, ii that you Iry thttn, W intite you to Camali with tompiir any (IfJrull inaJt ill 4Hf piUt. R. J. R.yuolJi TobiCCO Comotay