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THE CRAB SESSION
One of those night. which is lawful
us freshmen to enjoy, I hud n
shock which left me ns helpless ns n
siren with tonsillitis. Akkic comes in
on the dot promptly at eleven bells
with n pin! Yes, sir, Akkie's gone
nnd done it! She's pinned!
I Mnka Fire, nnd he certainly added
girl who pnsses. She says, "If the
Sigma Nus want dates with us, why
First Term, June 21 to July 28
don't they get up some nerve nnd
CONTRACT, Assistant Professor
look up the telephone number of the
Whiteside of the Cornell Law
'If Papa Nu' sorority house, and cnll
us up? We might consider giving
Mr. Willcox of the
them n chance to prove their worth
New York Bar.
And that's that.
SURETYSHIP. Professor Camp-bel- l
I don't think I need comment on it.
of the Harvard Law Faculty.
One fellow whispered in my
Professor Campa day or so ago, that he wns at
present spending his time on n thesis TRUSTS, Professor Frascr, Dean
on the evils found at the present time
of the Minncsotn Law Faculty.
in the militnry department. I know
thrc, f l,om "Wf,
Professor Burdick, Dean of the
The alarm clock was ringing its best.
than I hnve
Cornell Law Faculty.
It kept right on; it wouldn't stop, Pcnk
PRACTICE, Professor McCaskill
The darned thing is surely a pest. ,
of the Cornell Law Faculty.
crawl! It's time to get up,'
,.i,n t nxt
Second Term, July 29 to Sept. 3
I heard someone call out to me. Time
to get up? It certainly was not! thc 1 r,T l"lneM, hut to go ahead,
AGENCY, Professor Thompson of
"J, to rcculV0 anV
'Twas as dark as could be. But it
the University of Pittsburgh
was seven o'clock, and more work to enment on it.
Let's go. The start is good. SugLaw Faculty.
be done, and so I had to get up. This
WILLS, Professor Vance of the
life is n bore. It gets on my nerves. gestions are coming in, hut some are
Yale Law Faculty.
Won't it ever let up? Gosh! Ain't it so short, being mere sentence prayers
for changed conditions.
Plense eluciProfessor Vance.
BANKRUPTCY, Assistant Profes"I come from the North. At least date a little. Enlarge upon your subsor Robinson of the Indiana
it would be considered the North by jects. Not so long, but cnoug to give
University Law Facultv.
Kentuckians. My home is in north a good idea of the evil in mind. I am
PARTNERSHIP, Professor Wilson
west Missouri. Yes, I've heard that surprised to find that the crabbing
of the Cornell Law Faculty.
saying before. I came South for the letters are all about the university
winter. At least we consider it South. and its life. Prohibition should have CORPORATIONS,
been more popular, or unpopular.
of the Cornell
Down here, you say this is the South,
But, we have a good start. Keep
and then you say, 'Well, it isn't really
This section is for the
But what I
south, like Alabama.'
"may begin the study of
want to know is where your southern expression of your opinions. I'll edit Students
law in the summer session.
winter comes in? I came South for more censor it. Not that I know any
about what should be put in
the winter, and ran into something
you do, but someone had to edit
For catalogue, address the
like thirty-on- e
snows. (Ask George than
Cornell Law School
Spring has come and we you nnd I'm the Crab, anyhow. Have
got my number? Look at the
Ithaca. N. Y.
are having such nice drizzly, chilly heading.
weather. Like California, it has been
an 'unusual' winter and spring. All
right, but please quit misrepresenting
conditions to us Northerners.'
ought to bring forth some hot replies.
Watch for them next week.
A girl from a sorority house up on
Maxwell street writes me and tells me
that she wishes the Sigma Nus would
quit hanging out of their second story
3 meals served, on the campus, every
windows and trying to flirt with every
school day. ' Open forenoons for sandwiches, milk, chocolate, coffee, ice
lacI could have my finger-nail- s
cream and candy.
Says Charleston Charley, "The in
stallment man called at our house yes
terday. Wc offered him a diair, but
he took the piano."
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Grain and Pastura
The cows which had grain every day during the year produced 64
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It is true that their feed cost was slightly more than pasture, but
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Less grain, per cow for pasture
Extra proilt each grain fed cow
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After a few more dirty digs, I
heard Akkie snoring and decided I'd
do the same, not snore, of course, but
sleep. The next morning, about five
minutes before I was to take a quizz,
while studying out of Akkie's book, I
found this note in it, "Will you walk
through lovers' Lane, sweetheart, in
the primrose path of spring?" Now,
what in the Sam Hill could Lovers'
Lane be ? Of course, last year it was
the walk leading up to Pat hall, but
that was before electric lights brightened the way. It seems the school
authorities think more of electric
light than they do of moonlight.
After the quizz was over (it lasted
only three minutes by the clock for
me) Akkie began raving again and
she says, "Oh, he's got the darlingest
name for me. He calls me 'Ducky'."
"That's probably because you quack
so much," I says, but Akkie didn't
hear me as she was still raving.
'He's the best looking, the sweet
est, the most wonderful, the most
manly, etc. (Haven't room enough
for all the adjectives).
'Ah, cut it out," I says, "He's only
a freckle on this planet."
Hugh G. Van Pelt, Director
208 South La Salle St., Chicago, III.
All New Cars
Shall I continue day
H 1 no.
hen the runners are
bunched on the track and
suddenly Chuck, your own
she had Eleanor Chinn's Packard
But I'm edging intersections on
Though it's very tiresome to do
WHEN the lithe
are fighting for the
lead. And your own
dauntless champion suddenly soars ahead and
wins have a Camel!
For you'll never find
another friend so attuned
to your triumphs as
Camel. Camels are made
of the choicest tobaccos
they never dis.
Dartmouth Jack o'Lantern.
dwelt in Dumba Dum,
And she was dumb as Doras be.
And yet, this Dora had her points
She fell for me.
"He's a fraternity man."
"How do you know?"
"He answered to tour names in
class this morning."
A Dumb-bel- l
less of price, you'll never
buy better tobaccos, or
blending, or flavor than
you get in Camels.
So this year when the
Our house mother is an
long has she
Sixteen drinks on a
und the dean of women!
Whilst thinking of my true love,
flunked out of college and
went far away.
I have nothing else to think of.
He kissed me
through for victory after
taste then the
smoke that's choice of the
Have a Camel!
Song of an Old Fashioned Co-I'- d
I am edging insertions on Irish
He wept, from sorrow and gin.
swore to bo true to him ulway.
Ah, Clarence! so fur I huve been
I could huve a young man with a
old school's men go
W. Va. Moonshine.
appoint your taste.
You have the satisfaction of doing business with
ahead on the finish and wins
have a Camel!
From the Moth Balls
"What would you say if I
jhould kiss you?"
She: "At last."
Joe: "Bob says he doesn't enjoy
squeezing his girl."
College: "Probably she's a lemon."
YOU WILL ALWAYS COME BACK
have lots, of fun
Active: "Congratulations, old man."
"Same to you."
TRY OUR SERVICE ONCE
We'd like to see the rush this
Venus de Milo would get:
If she were as pretty as Charlsey
As popular as Katherine Brown.
As "chic" as Mary Whitfield.
If she made a standing of three,
like Bernice Edwards.
If she were as charming as Ann
As "peppy" as "K. B." Best.
If she wore Edna Lewis Wells' good
As active as Edith Minihan.
If she could dance like La Vergne
'I wish vou wouldn't knit at meals.
I can't tell where my spaghetti leaves
oft and your sweater begins.
Feed Research Department
comment about myself once).
Akkie gives me a mean look and
says, "You're just the type to say
that, aren't you, Ikkie? Whose un
called for bundle are you?"
"Well, when I take out my license
to neck," I replies nastily, "it won't
be with one who fc uns his brain in low
Tickle your ear drum with
O. Box 210.1
Right now, fresh off of the bat, I
want to do a little personal crabbing.
I do wish that my roommate would
learn to pick n little loose wool out
of my comb and put it, the comb, not
the wool, bnck in the drawer when he
gets throug using it. Won't someone
tell mo how to break him of the habit
of leaving it out on the dresser, dirty,
when he gets through arranging his
curly locks 7
The now contribution came in on
time, ns was promised in the last
issue. Here it is, and timely indeed:
fuel where Akkie wns concerned.
"Coo your comments," says Akkic
on entering our two by four suUc.
"I suppose I "should congratulate
you on your match (that's the I
Mnka Fire's pin; it's done in Fourth
of July colors, nnd the Greek letters
mean "Keep out of reach of children,"
so I figures out) but I don't think
much of that guy. He's too stingy to
spend the wdek-ennnd even his
jokes have jnundice."
(I heard that
Into the making of this one cigarette goet all of the ability
of the world's largest organization of expert tobacco men.
Nothing it too good for Camels. The choicest Turkish and
domestic tobaccos. The most skilful blending. The most
scientific package. No other cigarette made is like Camels.
No better cigarette can be made. Camels are the overwhelming choice of experienced smokers.
Our hithtil with, if you
Jo not ytt know Ciimtl
quality, ii that you Iry
thttn, W intite you to
any (IfJrull inaJt ill
R. J. R.yuolJi TobiCCO