xt7gms3jx537 https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7gms3jx537/data/mets.xml Barton, William Eleazar, 1861-1930. 1887  books b92fb28w2009 English The Oberlin News : Oberlin, Ohio Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The wind-up of the big meetin  on No Bus ness. text The wind-up of the big meetin  on No Bus ness. 1887 2009 true xt7gms3jx537 section xt7gms3jx537 
  
  
  
  
A

TALE

OF THE CUMBEBLAND

MOUNTAINS.

THE

W.

E. B A R T O N .

C OPYRIGHT 1SST.

O BERLIN, O.:
PUBLISHED FOR T H E AUTHOR BY T H E OBERLIN NEWS.

188T.

  
  
THE

WIND-

UP OF THE

BIG

MEETIN'

ON NO

BUS'NESS.

Jj

' -v I. . f-         ;     " They w ill be night meetin' hyur tonight at e arly c andle-lightin', an. the meetin' '11 wind up t ermorrer. A t the wind up of the meetin' we'll ojjen the doors of the church an' babtize t hem candidates that desires fur to be babtized. I r eckon this hyur has been norated aready so's every person understans it. A n ' n eow ef all m inds is discharged we'll crave the benediction." So spoke Brother Jeems A l b r i g h t at the close of the service on Saturday afternoon i n the N o B us'ness church-house. A l l minds seemed to be discharged   whatever that may mean    and the benediction was "craved." Tom Baker and t he other young men w ith h i m sat near the door a nd were the first outside, where they j oined a larger company of their own age who h ad n ot been i n , or if i n at all had remained but a s hort time, and returned to watch the horses, p referring the genial society of those who sat a round o n logs i n the woods, to the instruction a dministered i n allopathic doses to those w ithin.

  
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I n a more leisurely manner the remainder of t he congregation moved out, and for some t ime remained s tanding around i n knots and i nviting each other to go home w ith t hem. He who had but one spare bed i nvited f rom a dozen to f orty guests, and he who l ived a m ile from the c hurch-house was i nvited to "go by" w ith h im w ho l ived five. Indeed, each family ran a whole gauntlet of i nvitations; b eing i nvited to go by w ith almost every other family present, a nd g enerally declining and r eturning the i n vitation no matter how certain that it would n ot be accepted. S lowly the church house disgorged its congregation; and when at last the half-dozen preachers emerged w ith saddle-bags on t heir arms, i t stood vacant. N o t a very s tylish edifice, t his temple in the backwoods of K e n t u c k y     a mere log pen w ith a l eaky roof, t he cracks between the logs daubed w ith m ud and covered on t he inside w ith s trips s plit f rom logs. The floor was puncheon; the seats were rough, backless affairs w ith holes bored through for the legs, w hich projected an i nch or more beyond the surface of the bench, making a rather uncomfortable seat for the second person from the end. T he older seats were hewn out; and the newer ones were made by d riving legs into slabs

  
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f rom the saw m ill. T his saw m ill, b y the way, was a new enterprise, and one that had i n a degree r evolutionized life on N o Bus'ness. It made a v ariety of unseemly sounds o n the h itherto solemnly silent stream, waking w ith i ts s hrill w histle the angry echoes, w hich m ockingly answered the v oice of the u uwelcome v isitor; and the h ills took up the sound* and told i t to the h ills b eyond, and these i n a fainter voice to h ills yet more remote, and h ill answered h ill u ntil a ll the woods seemed peopled w ith strange, weird voices j oined i n an uncanny chorus of threatening and mocking   enough to have frightened a t imid or superstitious saw m ill i nto repentance for its rash intrusion intosuch a region. But the saw m i l l h eld its g round, and day after day puffed and whistled and sputtered away on the lonel} s tream. F or N o Bus'ness is a creek. A legend is c urrent concerning the name, that the first m an who ascended t he stream returned w ith the report that A human haint got no bus'ness u p that ar creek." A good m any humans, h owever, s ubsequently found their way up that ar creek and stayed there. They named the creek's two tributaries respectively "Troublesome" and "Dif/f'culty", and the main stream retained its enigmatical appellation, " N o B u s ' 7 ,L

  
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ness.'' It is a r apid mountain torrent, at times almost dry, at others "swimmin'-deep." The n umber of feet w hich it can rise i n a f ew hours is something almost incredible, and a l though the periods of its rampage are as brief as violent, it is looked upon w ith good reason as a very fickle-minded, treacherous stream. O n e ither side rise high perpendicular bluffs, between which from the valley below, only a s mall segment of the sky is visible; and the feeling comes and grows upon one, that the l ittle w orld a long the creek is very much farther from heaven than the tops of the parallel bluffs on e ither side. What mighty cliffs they are! Three h undred feet of sandstone w ith a t hick stratum bf fossiliferous limestone, then sandstone w ith traces of coal, and the whole surmounted by hard conglomerate, r ising i n majestic castles and standing out in overhanging masses beyond the softer rock below. A geologist had once visited N o Bus'ness. He had hired his board for a week at old ' L i j a h H ale's and bad roamed up the creek and over the h ills i n a delight w hich the open-eyed natives had at first regarded as insane. Later they brought h i m queer rocks which had been saved by the c hildren as "purties" and asked him if the quartz c rystals f rom geodes were diamonds. They

  
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g athered about him in wonder while he talked o f things which they understood as l ittle as S anskrit; s urprised that so great a man should go to such botherment to learn so much about jest rocks. B u t when he showed to the l ittle c ompany which nightly gathered at old ' Lijah's, t he fossils he had collected, and talked of t he vast ages w hich had elapsed since these f ossils h ad l ived, a nd told them tha.t the creek had once flowed on top of the bluff and gradually t hrough u ntold ages w orn its bed through the s olid r ock to its present depression, they attempted to remonstrate w ith h im, and f ailing to change h is opinion pronounced him " a n i n fidel," and w arned him to leave. Jake F i n c h was most active i n d riving h i m off, combining business w ith pleasure, and his anxiety f or the public welfare w ith t he redress of an i n jury w hich he had suffered i n his feelings by reason of a rebuke administered by said g eologist. " H e treated me mighty abrupt," said J ake. " H e come u p an' went to sorter nosin' around o ver m y farm, an' thinks me I ' l l jes' sorter go l ong, sez I, kase theys a lead mind soniers on my f arm t hat the Injuns used ter run bullets from, V ef he finds 'er, sez I, I want to be somers r ound, sez I ; V I've heard t ell of that ar Swift

  
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s ilver m ind roun' hyur or over i n Whitley, one, a n' t hinks me, mebbe she's h yur. A n ' we come d own by the branch whar we bet the rocks at, f ur to drap i n the bar'l fur to bile the water fur to scald hogs, V ee picked up a piece of a rock w hat had busted w en I drapped her into the water. H i t war a powerful curus rock   hit w ar plum round an' sorter holler on both sides, sorter l ike a deesh. I 'member sorter noticin' of it wen I picked 'er up, an' a t hinkin' I 'd take 'er home f ur the chaps to play with fur 'em a purtv, or to hole the shetter to the door open, but I jest 'lowed twarnt while to tote h er u p to the house, kase one of the heenges to the door is broke an' I haint got round to cut me a w ith f ur to make another one V so the shetter to the door sorter stays open Hhout n uthin fur ter hold 'er. A n ' thinks me, I've got ye picked u p now, ' n ' ef I drap ye I ' l l jes' hatter pick up ' nother, so i n ye go, sez I. A n wen she got h ot au' I drapped 'er inter the water she. busted. W a l , ef twarnt a plum sight in the world to see t hat feller wen he found it. He acted l ike he'd c ry. He said hit war a sorter m ill f ur ter g rin' c orn that some ole feller   a Injun or some ole coot   hed sorter made h im fur to grind him his g rist. A n ' wen I tole the feller ' bout me a-fiu'in' i t a n' how come 'er broke, he got plum catr

  
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a wampus. ' W a r n ' t they rocks 'nun: 'roun' t hout you a t a k i n ' t h a t air un?' sez ee. Sez I, ' You needn't, afeel so bad,' sez I. 'They grind of a S aturday down to the saw m i l l , a n' ole P reacher Jake Watts he's got him a water m i l l u p on B u l l Creek and grin's wen theys a fraish i n t he creek, an' ole Tom Giles up on the backbone has got him a hit -'eni -agin fur dry w eather 'th a liole burnt out of a h ick'ry s tump a n' a sweep s orter lack a well sweep ' t h a iron waige i n the eend of it fur to jerk down 'th a rope a n' keep a h ittin' t well she's gits sorter fine,' sez I. 'Theys m ills nuff, sez I, ef you've got any g rin'in', sez I, 'tiiout awautin' ye any sich a audashus ole rig asthet ar,' sez I. 'Peared l ike t hat ort ter a pacified him, but hit made h im madder. ' Ef y ou'd a knowd as much,' sez ee, 'ez the man wut made that ar mortar,' sez ee, ' you'd a knowd mor'n to a busted 'er wen t hey warnt no need fur it,' sezee. A n ' I sorter g ot a leetle ashy an' sez I, ' Y o u dag-gonned ole i nfidel,' sez I, 'wut d'ye mean?' sez T. ' Y o u a comin' 'round hyur a smashin' rocks an' a h untin' ye up ole holler rocks,' sez I, 'fur yer w ife ter grind 'er corn,' sez I , 'stidder you a stayi n ' to hum an' a totin hit to m i l l f ur 'er,' sez I, ' Dag-gon yer d og-gonned p ictur! Y o u git out o' h yur! a n' clar out orfum thishyur branch,' sez

  
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I , we haint got no use fur a n infidel,' sez I. 'Go home V c rack corn 'th that ar hammer o' y ourn ef you want a m ill,' sez 1, 'dag-gon your dag-gonned s kin! Y o u git out o' h y u r !     G i t V stay got! or I ' l l git me a bresh and give ye a g inteel good l inten,' sez I . " J ake repeated this conversation to each family o n the creek, adding to his own speech, and i ncreasing the number of maledictions w ith each recitation, and growing more and more abusive as the intelligence that the geologist h ad "sure g one" became more evidently true. A n d a ll the people said Amen, and whatever may be said of "humans" i n general, it is certainly true that a geologist "haint got no bus'ness up that ar creek" even unto this day. The h orrified and injured feeling w ith w hich the v isit of that " infidel" is remembered w ill never be entirely removed. Even the discovery that the m ill hands, who came f rom Indiana, believed the    earth r ound, produced far less commotion. D uring t his long, tedious digression, the p eople whom we left i n front of the church-house when "meetin' broke," have about completed t heir preparations for departure. A l l the acceptable invitations have been accepted, but the form of i nviting w ill be kept up as long as two families are together.

  
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" Go by, Dick, you'n your ole woman." " N o , c aint, I reckon. Y o u all go up "ith me." " W e would, but we caint leave handy; you all best stay over to night meetin'." " N o , I r eckon not. W e l e f the chaps alone.", " 0 , M arthy's big miff ter look atter them    y ou best stop over." " N o , I r eckon we caint this time." " W e l l , w y don't you never come a n b ring the children an' set w ith us a spell. 'Pears l ike y ou've f orsook us hyur." " N o , we haint f orsook ye. We're 'bout ter move down V live off o' you a lls. W e ' l l g it back ter meetin' termorrer." " Good bye, then, ef nuthin'else won't do ye." " Good bye." A few of those who live at a distance have decided to go by w ith those- who live nearer. T wo of the preachers and a half-dozen of the visitors f rom the head waters of Troublesome and D if/Vculty went home w ith E lijah H ale. A n d T om Baker went, also. He is the most important m an i n this story, not even excepting B rethren Jeems Albright and A b Duncan, the two preachers whom you see yonder, w ith saddlebags b ehind them, on their lank steeds t hreading the serpentine road down the point to E l i j a h H ale's.
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O ld ' Lijah H ale was one of the most prosperous men on N o Bus'ness. The narrow valley    widened a few yards at his farm, and the h ill rose a l ittle less p erpendicularly, e nabling him to " make a crap" on its slope. There was corn i n h is l og crib u ntil c orn came a gain, and plenty of bacon in his smoke houss   excepting i n those years when the mast was l ight, w hen he may perhaps have run a l ittle s hort of t hat greasy but staple commodity. He was l ooked up to as a man of influence i n both c hurch and state, being an i nfluential member of the church, and a Justice of the Peace. The s helf n ailed to the beams above the door i n his house contained ''the marster sight o' books m ighty n igh ever you seed"   leather bound books, entitled " A c t s " and "Statutes," "Property of the State of Kentucky." ' Lijah a lways b rought them out when he had a case to try, but never read any from them, though he sometimes looked vaguely through them under pretense of h unting u p the law. H is v erdicts were peculiar to himself, the following being a specimen:    " W a l l , I've been a h u n t i n ' up the law, an' hit d on't kiver this case, 'pears like   eenahow hit d on't hit the case center, p'inf"blank, the way h it had oughter   but jist a takin' a sorter common sense v iew of the case, hit 'pears l ike t er

  
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me that Rube hadn't oughter a hit Bob, an' Bob he hadn't oughter a cussed Rube. A n ' I reckon I best not find nary one 'o yer an' each feller k in pay their own costis," which decision was accepted by all parties as both legal and just. O id ' Lijah h ad a numerous progeny. Three or four of his oldest children were married, and t he ages of the others tapered regularly down to Ben, aged eight, and Juley A n n , a spoiled l ittle miss of about six summers, and one additional a utumn and winter. The oldest c hildren left at home were L indy, aged seventeen, and Thaddeus who was not quite sixteen   a big a wkward f ellow whom every one called " T h a d " except o n state occasions, when his father c alled h im Thaddea. L indy is a rosy, rather buxom miss. She c an ride a horse well as you notice, for Tom has brought her horse and his around to the three sections of unequal length cut from the end .of a log, upended so as to form a series of steps from which a lady can mount    k nown as stile-blocks   and L indy sits erect i n her saddle and shows herself at ease t here. She does n ot often ride to church, her father and m other using Old 'Lijah's two horses, but her m other stayed at home today to arrange for the m eeting tomorrow, so L indy rides her mother's

  
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horse. Her movements on the ground are h ardly g raceful. Her step is not l ight, f or her shoes are heavy, and she walks chiefly to get a round. B u t on a horse she appears at her best. So look w ell at her as she starts off w ith T om B aker somewhat bashfully r iding beside her, f or L indy makes her best appearance now, and she is worthy of whatever there may be favorable in your first i mpression of her. H er a ccomplishments are of rather a practical s ort. She can k i l l and dress a chicken, make biscuit and corn bread, spin somewhat and weave a l ittle. S he can figure part way through fractions, read i n the fourth reader and spell over to "luminary" i n the "old blueback." T he fact s hall n ot be concealed from you, that L indy's parents looked upon her high education as unnecessary, and felt that they had performed a w ork of supererrogation i f n ot a positive wrong i n s ending her to school so much. There was some excuse f or them, to be sure, for the schoolhouse was so near and L indy l iked to go so w ell t hat t hey could hardly find i t i n their hearts to keep her away, but they had felt no l ittle a nxiety as to the result of so l iberal a n education u pon a g i r l ; and their alarm had been i n creased this last session by her request for a g rammar and a "g'og'ify."

  
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" H i t t aint right, 'cordin' to my way o' t h i n k in', to be a spendin' sich a heap o' money fur to b uy gals a h ull passel o' books ' bout all them ar t hings as gals haint no c all f ur to know," h er father' said. "You've got nuff o' b ooks n ow ef you'll read 'em, fur all the use you'll have fur books. A l l thisyur education haint no ' count fur gals. Better educate 'em fur to be pore men's wives." So Lindy's appropriation b ill was promptly vetoed. T he procession that went down the creek h alted f or a few moments before the post-andrailing i n front of ' Lijah H ale's cabin. " A l l ' light an' go i n , " s aid'Lijah. " Thaddea, y ou strip them beastis an' take 'em out an' give 'em a couple o' bundles o' fodder V a leetle grain o' corn apiece. T u r n B i l l V ole Bailey inter the l ot, ' n ' I reckon you k i n stan' that gray w ith B rother J inkinses nag. Y e r hoss w on't kick w ill he, Brother J inkins? F etch them saddles inside w hur them calves won't chaw 'em all up. J es' w alk inside. B i l l , y ou all best stop i n , too^ G i ' d own, J i m , a n' stop over. W a l l , get along h um t hen an' git ye a snack. H i t won't be l ong t will n ight meetin'. Come i n , come i n . J inny, jes you run ter the spring an' fetch a f raisli b ucket o' water. Y o u ' l l hev ter take a

  
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g ourd, the one at the spring is broke. Jim f etch us some cheers out hyur. Put yerself l evel on a cheer, Brother Duncan. Se' down, B rother A lbright. B rother J inkins take a cheer an se d own. Ole woman! got supper mos' r eady? We're g ittin sorter nibblyat the craw. Se' down, gentlemen. The ole woman '11 hev us a snack ready right soon n ow, I reckon. H ev w ater? Yes, mighty good w ater. H aint n o better nowhurs, I reckon. Now, J i n n y , y ou run 'long V holp yer maw   Lindy 'pears ter be slow 'bout g ittin' i n . "
1 1 1

  
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II.

L indy d id appear to be slow this evening. She and Tom had lagged a l ittle b ehind the p arty, a n unusual thing for a mountain couple to do; but Tom "had been a t alkin' to L indy a r ight s mart l ittle b it now," and the affair was considered settled by the N o Bus'ness gossips. B ut i t wasn't settled. B o t h Tom and L indy considered it as good as settled, and both were a nxious to have it settled. The courtship had progressed slowly, though pleasantly. Tom had w alked home f rom meetings w ith L indy m any times, keeping w ith t he crowd. W h e n t hey had arrived at the house, L indy h ad g one inside w ith the women, and Tom had sat outside on the porch, w ith the men u ntil i t was t ime f or him to leave. I n short, it had been an o rthodox mountain courtship, w ith n othing to ruffle the even current of true love, u ntil N o Bus'ness was stirred by this big meeting. A n d L i n dy's mother had disturbed matters a t rifle. L indy's m other had no p articular o bjection to t his m atch. Indeed, she favored i t ; but l ike m any good w omen, she could not let a court-

  
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s hip w ork out its own solution without a desire to make her influence felt i n some c apacity. She had had no hand i n making the match, and c ould not afford to assent to it too readily. She w hined often about being left alone, and c omplained of Lindy's ingratitude and Jinny's i nexperience   the theme affording an excellent o pportunity to find fault w ith b oth g irls at once. L indy p aid l ittle a ttention to these complaints. She understood her mother's n atural tendency to "mean Yes and say No.'' But now her objections assumed a    different phase. L indy h ad been to the mourners' bench in the meetings and was to join the    church t omorrow, and her mother felt that she ought to give her some good advice, and was a bsolutely unable to give advice for the future w ithout some c omplaint about the present. M rs. H ale was a woman who had "seed a heap o ' trouble," as she often affirmed w ith a d oleful voice and a significant shake of the head, and she succeeded t olerably well in making others share her troubles w ith h er. " Thishyur is a world o' trouble," she frequently said, apropos of anything whatever or o f nothing at all, as she removed her short pipe a nd spat into the ashes, " a n ' they haint no use i uyer t ryin' ter git away from i t . " A n d to Mrs.

  
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H ale's credit and consistency be it said that she made no effort to escape t rouble, but yielded w ithout a struggle to the inevitable, t ook g ratefully all the trouble that came to her, a nd hunted up all that she could Jfind i n addition. She took a m orbid delight i n it. She a l ways visited a sick-bed and kept the details f resh i n mind to compare w ith those of any like o ccasion, or to reproduce at the funeral six m onths or a year after the death of the patient. She herself had "indigestion of the stummick" a nd " a h urtin' i n her breast" and " a misery i n h er back" and a host of other cheerful i n firmities whose s ymptoms she detailed with s crupulous exactness to every listener. It w ill be readily understood that this estimable lady w hined and found fault with the best of intentions, but not always the best of results. " H i t 'pears like ter ihe,'' she said to Lindy, "as how gals that's been f or'ard i n meetin' arid is g wine to be babtized and ter jine the church, h adn't ort to be agaddin 'roun' the kentry 'th y oung fellows as haint got religion." L indy made no reply but had thought of the same t hing; and her mother's words had m ore effect t han was expected or desired. " The Bible's mighty plain ' bout a ll sich as

  
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t hat a ir," her mother continued, after a pause d uring w hich she had been using her apron for a h andkerchief, '"bout beiu' onekilly yoked together 'th them as haint a p ullin' t he way y ou're agwine. / allers thought ef anybody's agwine ter perfess anything, let 'em live up to i t, or not perfess it, one." H aving t hus spoken, she f illed her pipe, scooped i t into the ashes for a c oal, patted the red ember w ith h er toughened f orefinger, and smoked i n silence, feeling that she had delivered her own soul and done something t oward saving L indy's, b ut without a t hought that L indy w ould heed her words. L indy, however, dwelt upon her mothers speech u ntil she was very unhappy, and i n this f rame of mind had gone to meeting this Saturday afternoon. The burden was heavier than ever when she started homeward. A song w hich had been sung this afternoon kept r unning t hrough her m ind; every motion of herself and horse kept time to its r y t h m    
" T h e dearest i d o l I have k n o w n , W h a t e ' e r t hat i d o l be, H e l p me to tear it f r o m thy throne A n d w o r s h i p only T h e e . "

W as Tom an idol? Was he l ikely to come between her and God? Her mother's words, her own feelings and the half superstitious i n -

  
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c lination t o regard this hymn, sung at a time so appropriate, as a revelation, perplexed her s orely. Another thing, too, had happened. B rother A b Duncan i n his "sarmint" had s aid:    " E f y er 'spect ter be a C hristian y er gotter g ive up everything that haint C hristian. I l ike t er see religion that's l ike a ole woman's fatgourd. The grease i s inside, but ye k i n see hit a s loppin' all over the surface. E f y ou've a t akin' to a gal an' a studyin' ' bout a marryin' h er, an' she's a t rifler, or a fiddler, or a dancer, y ou've j ust gotter choose a twix her ' n ' God. Y o u h aint got no more use for a wife n o h o w ' n ' a hoss has got fur horns. ' T om was neither a t rifler n or a fiddler nor a d ancer, but a quiet, sober y oung man; but he was not a C hristian, and brother Duncan's remarks seemed to bear directly on the case i n h and. L indy's duty began to seem p lain to her. O nly h er own wicked heart had kept her from seeing it before. E very thought that her duty m ight admit of another course was stifled as a suggestion of the tempter, and as evidence of h er own wickedness; and with a desperate struggle, Lindy determined to dethrone her idol. H a l f the short ride home was accomplished before e ither spoke; then Tom said:
1

  
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" So yer goin' ter be babiizei t ernioirer, be ye, L i n d y ? " A n d L indy said " Y e s . " " Be ye goiri' ter jine Albright o r D u n c a n ? " L indy d idn 't k now no difference. " I w ouldn't jine Duncan, nohow," said Tom. " I ' l l be d ad -burned i f I l ike so m uch \High-ah! an' a Brother-ahP " w hich remark tended t o c onfirm L indy 's d ecision, for she regarded i t as e vidence of Tom's totally unregenerate mind. T om was uneasy. N o words concerning marriage had ever passed between himself and L indy, yet he had believed the wedding a m atter near a t h and. H i s affection naturally stuck i n h is throat and d i d n ot manifest itself i l l words, yet he loved L indy w ith a ll his big, bashful heart, and rejoiced i n u nmistakable evidence t hat his affection Was r eciprocated. D u r ing t his meeting he had felt a g rowing uneasiness. L indy had gone e arly t o the mourners' b ench, and since had seemed t o be slipping a way f rom him. Tom desired t o be a C hristian, b ut i n spite of his t raining he found more i n the meeting t o repel than to attract him. He was disgusted w ith t he excesses of the mourners and the senseless howling o f t he preachers, notwithstanding t heir evident sincerity. "Looks l ike h its a mighty pore way t o g it religion," he said to himself, "but I don 't k now ary

  
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n other." So he had not followed L indy to the m ourners' bench, and had felt a sort of jealousy t hat L indy s hould have gone w ithout him. This afternoon she seemed farther from him than ever, and Tom rashly determined to secure her before she escaped h i m . The house was i n sight before he spoke: " Lindy   when   when   er   bow soon d 'ye r eckon we best to get m arried ? " L indy hesitated a moment, looked away from T om and said desperately, " I don't guess we h ad best to git married a t a l l . " A lthough T om had felt a sort of premonition w arning him of his rejection, and something w ithin h im said, "Just as I expected," he was stunned beyond the power of speech. J ust as they reached the gate he said, " L i n d y , y ou   you don' mean that ar?" " D o n ' t alk ter me," she replied, " I cain't s tan' i t . " " Come i n Tom, you an' L i n d y , " c alled ' Lijah f rom the porch. "Jes' hitch yer beastes to the p ost-an'-railin'. T had'll c yarry 'em out to the b arn, a n' you all come i n " But Tom, having a llowed L indy to dismount on the stile-blocks, took her horse and his own to the barn. H e took a l ittle t ime to think over his condition, and f or the time inclined to a hopeful view.

  
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W I N D - U P OF T H E

" Lindy's a m ighty fine gal," he soliloquized, " but she's m ighty feisty by spells. S uthin' ' r n uther has got her to feelin' brickety, an' she's j ust a *devilin' me for a spell. Or mebby n ow when she's jest got religion she don't want to be pestered t ill atter the wind up of the m eetin'." H aving g iven himself as much c omfort as the circumstances permitted, he went to the p orch. " W h a r be ye gwine fur to hold meetin' at atter the final w ind up h y u r ? " asked Brother J inkins of Brother Albright. " Over on the head waters of Hiwassy," was the reply. " W u l l , t hat's agittin' up mighty nigh to whur n otliin' empties inter nowhur, haint it? Ole B i l l Toosper over on Red B ird uster t ell a t ale ' bout a preacher that went over i n thar, an' ee l iked flour-bread powerful good, and ee'd hearn t ell as how they didn't make none up thar, ' n ' ee got 'is ole woman fur ter bake him a h ull passel o' biskits, an' ee filled h is saddle-pockets w ith ' em. A n ' wen ee got ter his pintmaint t er whar ee stayed all night at, he tuck h i m o ut a b iskit, a n' one of the leetle fellers thar was sorter watchin' on 'im and seed ' im, an' t h ' ole
*Devil, as here used, means to tense.

  
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f eller jes' gin 'im a b iskit, a n' the leetle chap he d idn't k now w ut she was. A n ' ee showed h it to the t other leetle fellers an' they had a p owerf u l b ig p ow-wow f ur to fine o ut wut hit war. A n ' f inally the way h it eended one on 'em t uck t he b iskit a n' l aid h it on the h aith, a n' ee p utt a c oal o n 'er, an' ee sez, sezee, ' J HI show ye wut His. Hits a tarry pin; now yon watch 'im V you'll see 'impoke 7 s laiys out.' " " W i l l i , h it must a b in over i n t har ole Z eke Sanders went that time w'en he went off ' t h the h og-drove   that time w 'en t hey axed 'im w 'en he come back whar ee'd b in a t, an' ee said ee d idn't k now. " I d unno n uthin' ' bout it,' sezee, ' only I k now I 've bin to w har they c all "sop" "gravy.' " T he speaker laughed loudly at t his threadbare tale, as did his audience, most o f w hom h ad heard i t often before. " W u l l , d id ye see Ole Z eke Sanderses S am / ^ a r t oday? H i s p ap V his u ncle B i l l is t rustees u p i n that ar P arch Corn deestrick, a n' he's a k eepin' the s chool up on t het ar b ranch, a n' he's b in a b uyin' hisself a h ull passel o' store clo'es. D i d y e see h im i n t hat stake-'n'-ridered c ollar a n' t hem tight britches?. I ' l l be doggonned ef he d idn't look right comic." " Ya-as, h aint h it a p ltim s ight w ut a heap of
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26

T H E W IND-UP OF T H E

s ich critters a feller kin see, wen he haint got no g un?" T his last was from Tom and raised a prolonged l augh. Tom wasted l ittle affection on l ittle Sam Sanders. " I've heerd," suggested ' Lijah, " that the M ethodis' war a cavortin' i'oun' powerful over on Hiwassy." " W h o war a t ellin' y e?" asked Brother A l bright. " W y , some one war a sayin' down to the b lacksmith shop   hit war old Preacher Jake W atts or Tom Jeff M itchell, o n e     I d isremember which now, but pears l ike h it war ole man W atts, he war there a-gittin' him some shoes p utt on his nag, an' hit war him or Tom Jeff, one. A n ' they war a sayin' that a feller by the name o' H i l l was a t akin' a p owerful through a n' had a h ull h ouse-full a shoutiu' to wunct." " I h aint never heerd t ell o' no sich preacher," said B rother Albright. " H e haint no preacher." said Duncan. " H e h aint never been ordained. The presidin' elder over on the Pore Fork conference g in 'im some license fur to exercise i n public. I met him w unct wen I had a 'pintmaint on Smoky fur the t hird S aturday an' Sunday an' he had a ' pintmaint fur the fourth, an' they rule by the

  
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S undays stidder the Saturdays, an' the month come i n of a Sunday an' so we conflicted. A n ' l ie w anted fur to divide the time, but sez I, ' W e ' l l leave er to the congregation,' sez I, an' t hey voted fur to hear him, kase he was sorter new i n the kentry. One feller sez, sezee, ' A new b room sweeps c lean.' 'Yes,' sez I, 'but that t aint w ut ails you' sez I, 'the ole un knows too w ell w har the d irt i s,' sez I. ' A n ' so he preached     he didn't preach n one, b ut he tried   an I stayed fur ter hear him, an' he called on me fur t er pray. A n ' sez I, ' I ' l l pray i n my own meetin's. Y o u go on w ith y er own sherackety,' sez I . " T he conversation dropped for a while; then o ld ' Lijah r emarked, ''We had a right good m eetin' this evenin'," but before a ny reply was made, and while Brother Duncan was leaning f orward i n his chair and puckering his lips preparatory to ejecting a mouthful of tobacco-juice beyond the edge of the porch, after which he p robably would have spoken, supper was a n nounced, and further conversation postponed. T he men adjourned to supper, the women a ll w aiting u ntil the second t able. " Make a b eginnin', Brother A l b r i g h t , " said ' Lijah, a ud Brother Albright returned thanks. T hen the biscuit was passed, and the chicken,
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