THE

KENTUCKY

Page Seven

KERNEL

FRESHMEN FOLLIES
rcshman and I
was a simple
thought I was a man
Until my Senior brothers one and all
began
To talk to mc of parted hair, and paying up my dues,
And said of mc, "If Harry, there, just
had some other shoes,
And maybe a good looking suit besides his soup and fish,
He'd be a credit to our frat as good
as one could wish."
I

They talked me into other clothes
and out of my cash,
I stalked around the campus then and
straightway cut a dashl
The girls began to smile at mc, and
then they gave me dates
I took them 'round and thought I was
the darling of the fates.
I had the finest kind of time until
found a card
.Reposing in my P. O. Box I My heart
beat fast and hardl
1

SB

SBBBBBBK.BBH

9

QUIRREL John A, Keller CoJlT
S"3

FOOD
BAYLESS

Either she was not hungry or else
she had grown tired of the bill of fare
for very earnestly and soberly she re
who won't marked :
"I do wish hens would lay sonic-thinDry Goods
besides eggs." The Progressive
Grocer.

(in an engineering class)

Professor
"What's a dry dock?"
Student "A physician
give out prescriptions."
Economist.

230 S. Limestone

Phone 4085

GARDNER
Defined

"SAY IT WITH FLOWER
IS represented:on
Albright & Martin
THE CAMPUS BY

MATTHEW

MANGIONE

THE PROGRESSIVE

g

Cheap.
An Affirmative Negative
"Did you have to pay anything to
The irate customer shook his por
the other day?"
that man you ran over
photographer's face.
"No he happened to be a relation trait in the
"D I look like this picture?- The
of my husband's fortunately!" Lonthing's an outrage. Why, you've givdon Opinion.
en mc an awful squint and the look
of a prize fighter. Now, answer me.
Good Alibi
and no nonsense about it. Do you
Defending Counsel "Think, gencall that a good likeness?"
jury, my client is so
tlemen of the
The photographer scanned the print
voice of
deaf that he only hears the
then looked at the customer.
conscience with difficulty." Karsaren
"The answer," he said, "is in the
(Christiana.)
negative." The Christian Advocate.

A.

COMPANY

&

SHOE HOSPITAL

My Work and Prices Always Keep Me Busy
140 South Limestone

ATTENTION TO

SPECIAL

MMMMMMMMMM

mm

t

STUDENTS
X

THE PROPER PLACE TO TAKE YOUR BEST GIRL
IS TO A

"Young man why did you cut this
class, and this one yes and that?
vYour Standing must be raised at once
or you'll not make your fratl
AT THE
Young man, you may have one more
Somehow I made the
chance."
door
Wanted To Rent
And left the office of the dean. "I'll
Not to Be Trusted
LADY Elderly refined room and
never come here more,"
Some years ago in a Western state,
myself. I kept kitchenette in modern home, prefer
I vowed a vow within
territory, a popular citizen beThe Very Best of Food and Service, with a Popular Musical
place with lady alone for company. then a
that promise true
came involved with an inftuential and
urogram.
. Classified ad in the
By nightly cramming chemistry and Phone R
him.
ovetibearing character and kill ed
Capital.
mathematics, too.
Management L. B. SHOUSE.
Public sentiment leaned toward the
t
defendant, but the law was against
A Good Suggestion
here,
Now, though I'm still a freshman
day of trial came
MM
Official "No, I can't find you a him, and, when the
every xam I've passed.
his counsel and friend's
so many peaiple here after Ithe defendant,
That pleased the folks! I've made the job. I have
consultation, and, ifearful of the
jobs that I can't even remember their held a
frat and fo und myself at last
consequences, they decided that the
my morning hours in class; names."
I spend
and
plead guilty
Applicant "Couldn't you give me defendant should
baseball all afternoon.
mercy.
job of keeping a record of them?" beg the court's
And study with my books at night the
The jury was charged by the .court
Karikaturen (Christiana).
will bring me a plus soon.
Presently it returned.
and retired.
manl You ought to se my girl!
And,
and the foreman said:
Confined to Prose
only one!
She is the
"We find the defendant not guilty."
"Do you know 'The Star Spangled
I took her to the dance last night
The judge viewed the jury in sir- by heart?"
Banner'
and fun? Oh, man, what fun!
"Yes," replied Senator Sorghum; prise and said:
M. E. J. '23.
"Gentlemen of the jury, how be lt:
"but I'm not trying to use it in this
questions are Thrs man pleads guilty, and you find
Practical
ramoaien.
becoming so complex that my constit him not guilty?"
W. B. MARTIN BARBER
The foreman answered:
SHOP
uents won't be satisfied to hear me
"Weill, your Honor, the defendart
sing or recite." Washington Star.
Wc Cater to
.
is such a liar we can't believe him
UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
n3
under oath." Progressive Grocer.
cp
fs
.
TP
K"
Fast Work.
Shave 20c
Mi mi a i
Hair Cut 40c
gj
jjj
A lady who had just received an
153 S. Limestone St.
Social or Personal
of news said to her lit- bit
Dan Morse called on the Kappa
tle daughter: "Marjorie, dear, auntie
has a new baby, and now mamma is Delta's one night last week, bringing
the baby's aunt, papa is the baby's Louise Potter.
Additional .Personals
uncle, and you are her little cousin."
MILLER SCHOOL
,
"Well," said Marjorie wondering-ly- ' Chi Omega and Alpha Gam houses
must have been crowded that night.
"wasn't that arranged quick."
OF BUSINESS
Sissv Peterson must have had a date
Boston Transcript.
that night.
Corner LIME and HIGH
Characterizations Overheard
PHONE 982
PHONE 621-Boost the Home Band.
"He is one of those echo persons
THE SCHOOL OF BET-TEAnne "Why is the Blue and White
who agree with everything you say."
"She is a woman who .sticks to her orchestra playing at the Ben AH theaBUSINESS
&.
principles as they were a matter of tre this week. Is it a special aat or
Incorporated
TRAINING.
etiquette."
what?"
"He is the kind of man who saves
Snook "No, they are just going tc
The Quality Department Store.
we are play instead of the little viotrola."
his best story to tell while
Foreign and Domestic DRY GOODS.
holding the front door open tor him
go."
Heard at the Greeks
to
Ready-to-WeGarments, Millinery,
&
"He is one of those fellows who alDavidson "Aleck, what's in a Patt
the piano is Hall sandwich?"
ways grab the stool when
High Class Dressmaking, Infants and Art Departments
to be moved."
Aleck "Undressed chicken."
230-23- 2
W. Main St.
DRUGGISTS
"She is the sort of woman," remarkK
ed a lady recently, "who gives you
VISION
COLLEGE FOLKS ALWAYS WELCOME
East Main Street
her favorite recipe and purposely
important ingred
leaves out the most
When I am dead. I know I know
PRESCRIPTIONS A SPECIALTY ient." Boston Transcript.
The birds will sing, the winds will MMMM MM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MM
Fin Assortment of
blow,
A Hint to the Hens.
The stars will shine, the moon ans,
Abbie, the little girl of the family,
NUNNALLY'S CANDIES
flaming through the
table one The sun drift,
was seated at the breakfast
skies;
morning. As usual eggs were served.
Flowers will bloom, and children sing.
CENTRAL BARBER SHOP
And oceans laugh, and everything
MARTIN, Prop.
GEORGE T.
Go on forever timeless glad.
Shave 20c
Hair Cut 40c
I know I know and am not sad.
Turkish, Shower and Plain Baths.

Sunday Nite Dinner

Lafayette Hotel

I

To-pe-

f

STORE

I

L J. D. Purcell & Co. 4

J

Lexington, Ky.

I

n vr

I

S

Becker

"Cleaners That Satisfy"
Y

R

MITCH EL, BAKER

HALL

BARNES

SMITH

ar

Rent A New FORD

PHONE

ENUS

1465-- x

Basement, 139 E. Main Street.
Lexington, Ky.

PENCILS

MMMMMMMMMMMM
' "The Show Place in Lexington"

;;

FOR the Btudeat or prof., the
VENUS
out-riva-

all for perfect pencil work.

m

MichlerBros.
Company

li

i.

j

a

nnn:n.

417 E. Maxwell

Phor

But will you, too, on that strange day
When I must follow, far away,
The law of a dim Destiny
Oh, will you, too, laugh without me:
And ing? And, heedless, live as
though
I had not been? I know I know.
Mary Dixon Thayer.

Anerieaa Lead
Co.
resell Ave.

Touring Cars, Sedans and Coupes
12c MILE and 20c AN

HOUR

Lafayette - Phoenix Garage
Between Lafayette Hotel and Kentucky Theatre

NOT WORRYIN'

220 Fifth
New York

"De world may owe you a Hum.' "
Uncle Eben, "hut you'is got to
push de claim, case de world ain't
up nights worry 'bout its debts."
Washington Star.

said

FLORISTS

1

Drive It Yourself

MM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

sit-ti-

141t-- y

Lexington, Ky.

MMIMMIIMUMttltt

t

Write for
booklet on
Vcnuu Pencil and
Mechanical frncll

--

Read the ads
5

K-

it pays.

Read the Kernel's Ads, It Pays

*