THE KENTUCKY KERNEL
Who Is The Mysterious Person In "Local Color?"the "Mystery," "Are
say to the
person you believe to be
1:30 o'clock, and find out. Simply
Come to the Tavern Saturday afternoon, one week from tomorrow,
in Local Color?" If he or she is the correct one, you will receive a valuable prize. Look for more complete details in next week's Kernel.
you the mysterious person
For the love of Pete I Look who's
back I Yes sir, this Is Station
(Heaven forbid i Didn't mo and Akkie
even before the
University went modern and came
on the air?) We feel like ancient
mariners but even so horrible a
species as "old Orads" can stand
being snowbound for such a game.
Was there ever such a game or such
Winners to be
The makers of Learbury Clothes
ask us to express appreciation
for your great interest in Learbury and the
Football Team contest.
The winners of the contest will
be announced as soon as the
judges have made their selections.
Come in and sec the New
Learbury Models. .
R. S. THORPE & SON
a homecoming? Dut the old place
nln't what it used to be.
Most of us old folks didn't know
the campus. Wo walked out South
Lime and turned in where we always did years ago, but we found
ourselves in strange country. None
of the old landmarks! Where, oh
where, are the ash cans and ''we
st6p for blandes, brunettes, and railroads" of the old days? When we
wuz in college (stop me if you've
heard this one) cars were everywhere, even in the buildings of
higher learning. T'is reported that
at one time that best friend a collegian ever had, the Ford, was parked in White Hall as the owner was
suffering from spring fever and
wouldn't walk if he never got to
class. Yes, sir! That-- was the spirit
in them days.
Then there's the drives. Where,
Oh where, are the drives of yore?
No less than ten thousand and one
nights ago the drives on the campus got you some place, but not these
modern ones. They're only one way
tickets and Just try to go the other
way. Me and Akkie did. We have
only a broken wind shield, a batter-ed-u- p
fender, and a rim to show for
Oh, yes. The buildingsl Why,
there's only a few buildings us old
folks like Akkie and Dean Boyd and
me recognize. They have McVey
Hall which among other things
houses the new generation of Journalists. I don't imagine it does as
well as in the days of yore when the
Science Building was the "home,
sweet home" for struggling young
journalists, and when Dr. Funk-hous- er
could let loose his snakes so
Uncle Enoch could get a thrill fiom
the deah old reptiles.
And then they have a new place
called "The Commons." Me and
Akkie ain't ever figured that out.
We asked some one hundred important undergraduates
gave them the blind fold test 'nd
everything, only to find that some
believed it was" demitase, while
the majority thought that four out
of every five use it.
There's the book store, too. Me
and Akkie looked everywhere for the
book store even under the seats in
the gym but no book store! It's as
Akkie sez, "There ain't no sense in
them moving the book store out of
the cellar. Why, what's a book store
without a good flood at least every
two weeks? Gosh, I'd hate to be an
undergraduate now. No excuse at
all. We could always smile and
tell the dear profs, 'Well, the books
were simply ruined when the book
store got all wet in the last flood.' "
Really, moderns have no excuse
at all, like us of .the stone age had.
If we didn't go to chapel Akkie and
me always gave as our "all baba,"
"Well, we couldn't afford to get a
permanent wave in' our spine sitting
on those hard seats without backs."
And "now you chlllens have the
loveliest chapel and the seats are
just made for sleep.
And the men's dorms! My
crlckcty, when I was In college the
men got along very nicely with one
see why they go builddorm.
ing dorm after dorm for mere men.
I hears, too, they're putting up n
new library." Can't decipher that
cither," sez I. "Why, when we wuz
In the University, Akkie, the library
only had ten books and they wuz
Just for the grinds. If we know the
color of them the profs gave us "A"
on our outside reading.
Besides, you all don't know what
mud is. I'll bet some of you never
even saw any 'cept in college algebra
classes In relation to clearness.
"When we wuz flappers," Akkie sez
to me, "one of the Joys of college
life was the mud we acquired, in
place of credits, going to classes.
I'll tell you, they ain't in it with us,
"Sez you," sez I.
"Sez I," answered Akkie.
Then there was The Game! When
stage we had
we were at the co-e- d
It all fixed up with the weatherman
so's It wouldn't snow on Turkey
Day. We knew the poor old grads
Just couldn't stand it so we sez
"Weather man, lay off." Wo don't
want the aged to return home with
such memories as me and Akkie
have of the Kentucky-Tennesspolar fight Cold Feet!
This is Station
signing off. Yes, there is
a Santa Claus.
takes only two alumni to make
"I think I'll open an office when
"I'll probably turn out to be a
At all events the correspondence
school does leave its stamp. Stanford Chaparral.
Latin, Greek Frat
Will Give Medals
To Honor Students
Eta Sigma Phi, honorary Latin
and Greek fraternity, held Its regular monthly meeting Monday afternoon, at 3 o'clock in the Administration building.
At the meeting each mqmber
promised to give a medal, sponsored
by the national organization, to a
senior in his or her own high school
who is an "A" student and had done
outstanding work in Latin during
the year. Plans were also made for
a meeting of the Classical club,
which will be held Wednesday afternoon at 3 o'clock in the Administration building.
The officers of Eta Sigma Phi are:
President, Rebecca Long;
Margaret Allen; secretary,
Ellse Derickson, and treasurer, Martha Hall. Margaret Allen is national
of Eta Sigma Phi.
Meetings will be held regularly on
the first Monday of each month.
The University co-ethe direction of Prof. Elmer G. Sult-ze- r,
made its first public appearance
last Friday, at the Annual Fall
Festival, which was sponsored by the
College of Agriculture".
has been practicing since the beginning of the fall semester, and at
present is composed of approximately thirty-fiv- e
FESSOR'S CHASE OF THE
AND TURN THE BULL
HAVE TO BLAME THE
ARTIST FOR. THAT.
Obviously, lew of us have the
or temerity to make
matador out oi ourselves. But
even in the normal course o hu
man events, there's nothing so
welcome as a refreshing pause.
Happily there's a soda fountain
or ref reshment stand with plenty
around the corner from anywhere,
With its delicious taste and cool
refreshment, it makes
a little minute long enough for a
Co.. AlUata, Ca.
YOU CAN'T BEAT THE
PAUSE THAT REFRESHES
TO HE CAST
Tryouts for "East Lynnc,"
third piny of the season to be produced by the Guignol Players, will
be held from 3 to 5 o'clock Friday,
December 13, In the Guignol theater.
University students arc urged to try
for the parts in the next play, as
the cast of eight or nine men and
four women will bo selected from
those who are present at the regular tryouts. Undergraduate men
are especially needed in all of the
Of course you saw and enjoyed
"In Old Arizona." Now you can see
"Romance of the Rio Grande," a Fox
Movietone picture with Warner Baxter, the "Cisco Kid" of the first
talkie to be filmed out of doors. This
picture is taken from the novel,
"Conquistador" and Is said to be
very entertaining and thrilling. The
supporting cast includes Mary Duncan, Antonio Moreno and Mara
Marls, touted by Fox as a screen
"find." I think that you will enjoy
"Romance of the Rio Grande" but
do not expect another
The west coast reports that
Joan Crawford, during the filming of her next picture a
ago, fell and sprained both
ankles. Production is being held
up until she recovers.
"Three Live Ghosts," a United
Artists picture will be on exhibition
Sunday at the State theater and it
Is reported to be highly amusing.
At present I cannot recall just who
is in the production or anything
about the story. However, "Three
Live Ghosts" has received favorable
notices In many cities and if you
Y. W. Moves Offices
With Robert Montgomery,
Edward Nugent, Ernest
Today and Saturday
"Old Arizona." Liberty
jjave it three stars. All
Talking, Certainly, and
sibly enjoy it.
The Guignol theater will open
night with "The Second
Mrs. Tanqueray," by Pincro, as
the second production onv the
schedule for this season. This
is an English comedy and judging from the past standards of
Guignol I highly, recommend it
"The Last Hour," Opera House.
The Alney Alba Players in a hair-raisimystery play which Is full
Ali. Cecil DeMille's first talker and
still typical of him. Great performand
ances from Kay Johnson
Charles Blckford. See this one.
"Flight," Columbia picture, Kentucky. A pretty weak effort to make
a thriller. The air scenes are good.
"Hold Your Man." Universal picamusing
comedy with Laura La Plante.
with music, too!
Just How Sweet
Measure it in our candies and take
it to her.
8 Attractively arranged
SHE WILL LIKE
To Ad Building
The recreation and rest rooms of
the Young Women's Christian Association have recently been moved
from the second floor of White Hall
to the basement of the AdministraDespite the cold and falling snow tion building, next to the office of
the Dean of Women. Miss Margaret
Thanksgiving afternoon, the Kamp-u- s Lewis, secretary
of the organization,
Kat, published weekly at odd in- has her office adjacent to the rooms.
by members of Sigma Delta All girls at the university, particultervals
Chi, did enough prowling and snarl- arly town girls, are cordially Invited
stateing to make it hot for the campus to use the rooms, according to
ments from Y. W. C. A. officials.
More brutally frank than ever be"Mamma, If you had met Colonel
fore, politics, campus beauties, fra- Lindbergh before you met pop.
sorority bosses, the would have married him instead."
faculty, and the engineers all came
"Why, no, dear, of course not."
in for a Big Share of the dirt, so
"My golly, you're dumb, ma!"
carefully dug up about them by the
men's Journalistic fraternity.
Some excellent pictures livened
things up a bit, but so far Edwards
Kat reports no libel suits.
Everyone whose name did not appear in the publication Is heaving a
sigh of relief, and having a big time
laughing at the unfortunates, who
in turn are buying out the Tavern's
supply of Murads, In a tremendous
effort to seem nonchalant.
Outstanding among the really
original humorous articles of the
edition was the exciting football
story, depicting graphically
game. Also of
great Interest to the co-eBORDONI
Diary of Peter Orcensleeves, Jr.,
"who sees all, knows all, and tells
all he knows."
Wltlle the nolie and clamor of denials of all Sigma Delta Chls that
tliey had anything to do with the
paper Is dying down, they are in
secret plotting Just another such
violent attack, and will turn catty
again In January.
Political Leaders, Faculty
The Women's Athletic Association of the University will hold
its Tribal night at 7:30 p. m.. Monday, December 9, in the Women's
At this time the
pledges will be initiated Into their
respective tribes and will sign a constitutional pledge to W. A. A.
The tribal system was introduced
into the University last year to promote Interest In basketball, but this
year has enlarged Us field to include all sports sponsored by the
Rewards are made on the point
system. Points are given for participation in the various sports and
awards are made for accumlatlon
of a certain number of points. A "K"
Is given for 1000 points, numerals
for 500, and a pin for 250.
Enocli Grelian, Coach and Mrs. Hnr-r- y
Gamagc, Mr. and Mrs. S. A.
Boles, Misses Willie and Helen King.
lng and singing movies. "Paris" Is mwmmmmtmmttfflmnmmmmt
a product of the First National stu-
At Tribal Night
First Issue of Kat
Takes Its Revenge
W. A. A. To Initiate
Through the kindness of Theta
Sigma Phi I am again allowed to
express my views on the local rlalto
and they assure me that my life will
be protected by them so I should
This business of holding Saturday night premieres on pictures
opening Sunday is, I think,
quite cosmopolitan and I hope
the practice continues. It makes
you feci somewhat ritzy to attend thcrri.
"Four out of Five" is the title of
next week's presentation of the Al-nAlba Players at the Lexington
opera house and the play Is said to
be a rich comedy well worthy of
The plot revolves
around the family life of a typical
American household and should
prove to be interesting on that account. Although the title may suggest tooth paste or some disinfectant I assure you that the play Is
has gradually built quite a star out of Joan
Crawford and her latest vehicle,
"Untamed," will open at the Strand
theater Sunday. This seems to be
a story of a girl brought up in the
tropics and her clash with civilization when she visits the haunts of
the white man. I think that Miss
Crawford Is a happy selection for
this part and I am quite positive
that you will like the first all talking picture of this very popular star.
"Chuch" Webster of the Alney
Alba Players grew tired of Carnegie Tech and shipped out to
sea on board a freighter. He
says that he wasn't much better
as a sailor than he was as a student so he gave up and tried
the stage. In my opinion, he
has certainly found a berth
One of the outstanding musical
comedy lights to be recruited for
the motion pictures is Irene Bordinl
,and her first big effort will be
housed in the Kentucky theater be- ginning Saturday.
The title is
"Paris" which oould suggest all sorts
of things. A big portion of the picture is In color and it is said that
there are plenty of girls and song
numbers to add what ever it is they
'think we should have in our talk- -
The SuKy Circle Is giving a
in honor of the football
squad, cheer lenders, and SuKy
Alumni tonight at 0:30 o'clock in
the Lafayette hotel. Music will bo
furnished by Toy Sandcfur's Orchestra.
Coaches and managers of the
team and the sponsor and the drum
major of the band have been invit- -'
cd to be guests at the affair!
The chaperons will be : President
and Mrs. Frank L. McVey, Dean
Sarah Blandlng, Miss Marguerite
'McLaughlin, Professor and Mrs.
it's reallv a shame
to interrupt the pro
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