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THK KENTUCKY KERNEL. Friday. April 15. 19:3

8

Doctor Gives

Squirlcr Squeals Scramble
Diving Advice As
Cleaners Spray Slage
should bo
Amateurs
ex-

"No fire, one run, one error" doesn't eiactly mean baseball to
some of the stage members of the Gulf not. As a matter of fact
it means exactly what it says.

tremely careful

about uiulor- water diving with
breathing devices, a
physician warned recently.
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.self-containe-

mk
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Dr. William H. Walker, writing
in the "Nassau Medical News."
said that untrained amateurs are
likely to get the bends, burst lungs,
collapsed lungs, the "squeezes"
and nitrogen poisoning.
Dr. Walker pointed out that
despite Navy divers' opinions that
underwater divine and swimming
apparatus should - be used only
after training, there will be a lot
of amateur aquatics this summer
and doctors should be on the lookout for the medical consequences.
j
Basically, the medical conditions
arise from the body's reaction to
unaccustomed pressures of air.
Because the pressure of the water
on the chest would prevent the
swimmer from breathing air at
pressure, the air
atmospheric
must be forced into the lungs by
the mechanical breathing apparatus at a pressure equal to that of
Nony-Mo- us
the water on the body.
Because of this, the air in the
lungs is denser and contains more
nitrogen and oxygen than air oj
the same volume. However, oxy-- ;
gen readily moves in and out of
( This article uas intended as a letter to the editor.
Uotcecer jt teas the tissues and nitrogen does
not.
'
mrf hi'tn-friftf iiVikv
tmilil tint lr ;t ln'i It'll: 'for imtLi iilii itn lll'l' it So when the diver comes up from
-- v..:,.
....
;.
;
i even inspire someone to take
makes darned good reading and might
the deep too quickly the nittroeen
icicntipc .studies. I linnks to the author, u lioever he or sue is, for some begins to bubble out causing pain
,,,,,...
Kr,,K,
paralysis ana unconsciousness as
uear rxiuur.
nervesare pressed.
It has been called to my attention that you are desperately in need This condition is the classic
cf correspondence. Have you tried the Lonely Hearts Club? In the bends and must be treated by putmean time. I thought that I would console you with an educational ting the victim
compression
xin
' essay
concerning my research at the Physics Department at the Uni- chamber to force athe nitrogen
x
versity of Kentucky.
back
solution and letting it
I knew this would be of considerable interest to you because of all come into of
out
the tissues, slowly.
the frantic reactions brought about by labeling the Van de Graaf genAnother problem occurs when
erator as an ordinary ole "atom smasher." All it actually does is acce- the diver comes up too fast 'and
lerate charged particles and then spits them out at extremely high doesn't let the air out of his lungs
velocities and energy levels.
as he does . so. The little
Let me next give you an example of how the generator is used. 1 in his lungs blow out likepockets
overbrought my lunch to school every day. I always included cheese sand- - filled balloons as the air inside
wiches. However I prefer my cheese sandwiches toasted, and this is not expands to the decreasing prespractical with an uninsulated lunch bpx. Unfortunately the thermo sure. ;
laboratory is inadequately equipped as there are no toasters in there.
The danger from this accident.
What I did was to make my sandwiches with "heavy bread." You
L,us
nuuuiig oieeuing
ran easilv tell when vnn nick un a lnaf of "heavv hreari" because the: im-e,a,ter
miouth f nd noste; is
baker did not put enough yeast into the dough. The heavy bread sand- Fi
wiches were then placed in the path of the "charged particles which
.if snaI.Jow
were emitted by the Van de Oraaf generator.
A charged particle traveling at what is known, as the "resosance
pressure chances
to 100 feet.
.Telocity" has a high probability of passing through the Coulomb bar- - are greater The
near the .surface. Derier and impinging upon the nucleus of a heavy bread atom.
compression is the treatments for
The nucleus of a heavy bread atom is normally stable (you can this.
tee this for yourself by testing a loaf of heavy bread with a Geiger- - Sometimes
air gets trapped beMuller counter!'. However, when the heavy bread atom's nucleus is tween
the chest wall and the lung
by the charged particle it is excited to a higher energy level.
struck
(Notice that the nucleus is NOT split.) When this is done the heavy! and as the diver ascends the exbread atom emits a neutron and then changes into the ordinary tasty panding air collapses the lung by
its pressure. The doctor in this
isotope of bread.
case. Dr. Walker said, must puncHowever, this emitted neutron collides with other bread atoms in
the sandwich and thus becomes "thermalized" and heats up the bread ture the chest wall to relieve the
pressure.
In doing so. Of course a reflector is placed below the sandwich to pre- "Squeeze" occurs when the cavivent a great many of the neutrons from escaping the sandwich until
ties in the body, like the middle
they have given up an appreciable amount of termal energy.
At conditions of standard atmosphere I have found (experiment- -' e,ar and the sinuses, do not change
ally) that for a beam current of 3.14159 microamperes that the sand their internal pressure with the
dive. Then the pressure on the
wich is toasted to a golden brown in 9.51413 milliseconds.
However, this proved to be expensive as it cost the government rest of the body forces blood and
the
and the University of Kentucky $4,444.44 every time I toasted a sand- - other fluids intospecificlow pressure
treatment
wich. not including the money I spent for the cheese, mayonnaise, let- chambers. Nosqueeze.
will alleviate
tuce, and bread.
I made 439 such sandwiches before they caught me and exiled me
to my present home. I hope to live down this inconsiderate squelching
cf unselfish research into the heart of the atom. Right now I am designing a
that will not only make dandy waffles, but
will also smash atoms.
Sincerely yours,

Recently three energetic younf stage members decided the
stage and workshop should be cleaned up, so that Is what they did.
Instead of using their mops and buckets, one had the Idea of using
the fire hose.
It so happens that the house hoses in the Fine Arts Building
are connected with automatic alarm systems, which, by the way,
Is a full alarm. The unconcerned users went gaily about their
task of cleaning the grease and paint from the floor.
Suddenly they were surrounded by the fire chief, firemen, policemen, and ambulance drivers. The chief came running onto the
slippery floor and almost made third base.
Well, there was no fire, and it's a good thing there wasn't.
The firemen found that the nozzles on the bouse hoses were the
wrong kind and could not have been used if there had been a fire.

7Rm
YOU'RE A BETTER GOLFER
THAN YOU THINK!

Tells
Of Cheesesmasher

Av

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A. Nony Mous

P.S. If anybody gets hungry while working down in the lab. I left
a package of salami in the refrigerating unit of the Cockroft-Walto- n

accelerator.
Cape Horn is at the foot' of
Bouth America.
Popocatepetl is a volcanic mountain in Mexico.
Freemasonry was introduced into
the American Colonies before 1730.
The Girl Scouts of the USA was
founded in 1912.
The Cape of Good Hope is at
the foot of South Africa.

'

i

nail driven into a tree trunk
would be at the same height from
the ground five years later.
Ships sailing from the Atlantic
to the Pacific Ocean via the Panama Canal travel from north to
south.
Bering Strait was named for
Vitus Bering, a Dane in the Russian Navy.
A

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