Till: KENTUCKY KKHMX. Friday. May II.
TIIE PARTY LINE ly Christie Vainlcrgrift

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Society Editor Bids Farewell;
i
Also Tells Of Her Predicament
Tli is week I can't think of any( So the editor glares at me and
new queen to congratulate, of says, "Don't Just sit there; write I
course, It has been a busy week j Be funny!" So, I tell him I can
with SOA elections and all the barely scrawl and what's funny
anyway? So he says If I can't be
funny In a story to get him some
Hons ready for May Day tomorrow, but as a whole I believe I've Jokes with plenty of kick in them.
So I get him some Jokes. So he
Just about tired of all of It.
says let's pretend you're writing a
Actually that Isn't the greatest Master's thesis on humor and you
attitude in the world to take, but have these Jokes for data: sit
with one more week of classes left down and write me all about why
and final exams beginning for they're funny or not and what
seniors, it couldn't matter less to makes them Jokes.
me this week what is going on.
Your guess is as good as mine,
All I know is that I'd sure like to
be down at the lake getting a lit- but here's what I got.
A psychology student was visittle tan, and taking a few rides in
ing the state hospital and asked
a nice sleek boat. But-- digress!
How, people have asked me all an Inmate his name. The answer
year long, did I manage to write was, "George Washington."
"But the last time I was here
absolutely nothing of interest or
else dab a little here and there you said that your name was
with a few of the year's major Abraham Lincoln."
highlights in social functions?
"That," came the sad reply, "was
Actually, for those of you who are my first wife."
still wondering, all I can say is
is funny, but it's kind
that I Just sat down and managed of This joke analyze. If you think
hard to
to fill two or three columns with
it for a while, you'll find
whatever news appeared on my aboutthe real punch is obvious: inthat
desk. No, I realize that this isn't mates of the state hospital aren't
much of an explanation, but rifht allowed to marry!
now I'm still attempting to fill
Some Jokes get their kick out
space, and if I can keep this going
of a play on words, or pun. One
on, I might eventually accomplish of
the best available we will bormy purpose.
row from your friend and mine,
While glancing through Max Wm. Shakespeare. lie sets the
Shulman's "Guided Tour of Cam- scene in ancient Greece and propus Humor" I came across an in- ceeds to establish a situation in
teresting article which I feel fits which two sounds emerge from
my predictment to a tee. So goes off stage at the same time: a
military battle cry on a trumpet,
the following:

THE
NEW

i

Saddle & Spur
Presents

i
I

DUKE
MADISON
And His

Orchestra
Dancing Nightly
From 9 p.m.

Til

12

"SADDLE AND SPUR"
GEORGETOWN RD.

FORMERLY GREEN DOME

il

W
Playground

of the Blue Crass

wall, across the ceiling, down the I roared with laughter. The more
other wall, and out the door. There I read it the funnier it gets. Sud- was a moment of stunned silence, denly I look up and there stand
and then: "What do you suppose the editor, with about ten other
people. They're practically droolis wrong with him?"
"Yeah, how about that? He ing vinegar, they look so sour.
Okay, I tell the editor. You aren't
didn't even speak to us!"
So I read this little gem over and amused. So what's to laugh?

and the raucous laughter of some
unidentified females. The ' next
line must have stopped the show,
even In Elizabethan times, when
the actor placed his hand to his
ear and said. "Hark! The Trojans'
trumpetsl" The punch is quite apparent:, even in Elizabethan England everyone knew that the Trojans didn't have trumpets!
Now try this one yourselves:
A beautiful blonde is standing
on a street corner in Tampa.
Florida, waiting for a bus. A wolf
pulls up In a Buick and says, "Hi,
gorgeous! I'm going west!"
To which the sweet young thing
replies, "How wonderful!" Bring
me back an orange!
Give up? Well, it's not too easy,
but if you remember the friendly
rivalry between Florida and an extreme western state, you might
realize that nobody in Florida
would ever want an orange from
any other place. Ripping good,
what?
Of course, you shouldn't get the
idea that Jokes are stereotyped according to topic. Check this one,
also on hitchhiking:
A hitchhiker was standing by
the road waiting for a lift, and
finally a flashy convertible stopped
for him. Conversation with the
driver was practically at a standstill until the chap behind the
wheel produced a fifth of gin
and offered it to his passenger,
"no, thanks," he replied, "I don't
think I'd better."
The driver suddenly became enraged and, pulling a revolver from
his pocket, leveled it at the rider
and said. "Drink up and drink up
fastr-rFl- l
shoot!" The passenger
"quickly downed a few gulps and
handed the bottle back with shaking fingers.
"That's better," said the driver
with a satisfied sigh. "Now you
hold the gun on me."
We're all familiar enough with
the warning, "If you drive don't
drink, and if you drink don't
drive," to get that one, but it's
still pretty subtle, huh?
So the editor tanes one look at
the story thus far, and says why
don't I include some new jokes.
Okay, I say, but first, what's a
new joke? He looks at me with
pity in his bloodshot orbs and says
a new joke's a new joke and what's
the matter with me, anyway. So
I says what's the matter didn't
you ever hear that there's nothing
new under the sun? So he looks
at me real hard and menacing and
says get the hell in the shade
then, but write some new jokes.
But it's not that easy. Stop and
think a minute what's a new
joke? A new joke, in case you don't
have the answer yourself, is one
which you've never heard before.
Hence, the cards who always .start
out: "Stop me if you've heard
this one . . ." or: "Have you heard
the one about. . .?"
So about this time I remember
one that a panic. Stop the presses
if you've heard this one, but how
about . . .
The group of buddies hanging
onto the bar having just one more
for the fifth time-, when an old
friend walked into the room,
stepped across the room, up the

COLONEL

of the
WEEK
J
jr.

V

4

,

I

'

I
M't--

,

VI
S

V

VI
vv.

Vv.

M

The Stirrup Cup proudly presents as its Colonel of the Week,
Marvin Beard. Marvin, affectionately known as Marney, Stella
and Curley Locks, is a journalism major with a 3.4 standing.
He is one of the few journalism majors who really deserves
this outstanding award. Marney is a member of ODK, Lamp
and Cross, Sigma Delta Chi and Phi Kappa Tau.
Marney also is married and has a cute little daughter, faliank
goodness she looks like Marney's wife.)
' he Kernel staff is quite proud of Marney. We feel that finally we have run across some one who is a deserving recipient
of the Colonel of the Week award. We sincerely hope that Marney and his wife enjoy the two delicious meals which are awaiting them at the Stirrup Cup.
A

NOW SERVING DAILY
NOON AND EVENING MEALS

11:45 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
5:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

STIRRUP CUP
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MAIN ST. AT ASHLAND

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With Slaw, French Fries, Buttered Rolls

His Piano and His Orchestra

HAVE YOU TRIED A

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