3

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL, Friday. Feb. II. 1953

.1

.

58P3 KlsLan
(Author

--

Birtfott

y

Ckttk," tic.)

wif

'

'

THE MAIL BAG
If the spirit should ever move you to write me n lctter-a- nl
it's always n pleasure to hoar from you -- take pen anil paper anl
Y.
address meco Philip Morri. 100 Park Ave., New York 17,

Or if you don't have any paper, snap open your Snap-Opepack of Philip Morris, remove the fine vintage cigarettes, turn
the neat brown wrapper inside out and use it for stationery.
The regular size Philip Morris pack is perfect for short notes.
For longer letters use the kitig size pack. For chain letters and
petitions, glue several packs together.
This week's column is devoted to a few of the many interesting letters that have been coming in:
n

v4

r

2N.

.

'

SIK:
- Maybe you can help me. I came up to college eight years ago.
On my very first day I got into a bridge game at th? Students
Union. I am still in the same bridge game. I have never gone to
a class, cracked a book, or paid any tuition. All do is play bridge.
To explain my long alienee and keep the money coming from
home, I told a harmless little lie. I said I was in medical school.
This made Dad t my father) very proud. It also enabled me to
keep playing bridge. We were both terribly happy.
P.ut all good things must come to an end. Mine ended last
week when I was home for spring vacation. I arrived to find that
Sister (my sister) was in the hospital with an ingrown spleen.
1

Whoosh!
Ilciket power developed by this guided missle

capable of delivering jet horsepower greater than
the total energy output of the Hoover Dam have
been built and tested by North American.

en-

gine is being measured on a static test stand at
North American Aviation's Propulsion Field Laboratory north of Los Angeles. Rocket power plants

Dr. Xorbert Sigafoos, the eminent ingrown spleen surgeon, was
scheduled to operate, but unfortunately he was run over by a
cart on the way to the scrubbing room.
"Oh, never mind," chuckled Dad (my father). "Harlow (me)
will fix Sister (my sister)."
Well sir, what could I do? If I told the truth I would make a
laughingstock out of Dad (my father) who had been bragging
about me all over town. Also I would get yanked out of school
which would be a dirty shame just "when I am getting to understand the weak club bid.
There was nothing for it but to brazen it out. I got Sister
(my sister) apart all right, but I must confess myself completely at a loss as to how to put her back together again. Can
you suggest anything? They're getting pretty surly around here.
Harlow Protein
hot-foo- d

Police Will Issue
Tickets Monday

ONE DAY

Campus police announced that
they will begin Issuing tickets for
parking violations Monday.
The Judiciary Committee of the
Student Government Association j
has requested that all new students
familiarize themselves with the
parking rules on campus as they
affect students. Copies of the rules
may be picked up in the dean ol
men's office.
Leslie Morris, chairman of the
committee, has emphasized a num- '
ber of points which students may
not understand concerning the
rules.
1. It is urged that late registrants
who did not have an opportunity
to register their cars or apply for
parking permits do so immediately
with the SGA secretary, office of
the dean of men.
2. Cars are registered for one
semester only; students who have
not
their cars must
do so as soon as possible.
3. Students who registered their
1954 license tags must inform the
SGA secretary when 1955 licenses
are obtained.
4. Only applicants who have been
granted permits will be notified,
Individuals must assume they have
been denied a permit unless noti
fied by mail.
5. Parking tickets are not $1
each, but $2 for the third and
fourth, and $5 for each ticket

SERVICE

(

!

MONDAY THRU FRIDAY
NO. ADDED COST

Dear Harlow.
In Herd I do have a solution for von the notulion that h never
failed mr nhrnever thin; cIom in: Light up a Philip Morria!
Knot untie a rou u(T that rich vintage tobacco. Shade
light as you tate that mild fragrant flavor
Ami a you watch
the pure white smoke drift lazily upward, you will know that
nothing i as bad as it rem, that it i always darkest before the
dan n, and that the man worthwhile i the man who ran smile t

SIR:

i

DeBOOR

Do you think a girl should kiss a fellow on

15

Dear Blanche,
Not unless he is her Pfcnrt.

j

I

Discount

SIR:
Here is a rather amusing coincidence that' may amuse your

readers.

Just off the campus where I go to school there is a lake called
Lake Widgiwagan where students from time immemorial have
gone fishing. Thirty years ago when my father was an undergraduate here he went fishing one day at Widgiwagan and
dropped his Deke pin into the water. Though he dived for it for
)
many weeks, he never recovered it.
.
years later, mind you I went fishinjr
Just yesterday-thir- ty
at Widgiwagan. I caught a four pound bass. When I got the fish
home and opened it up, what do you think I found inside of it?
You guessed it! Two tickets to the Dempsey-Firp- o
fight.
Flcance F at

j

Cash

N'ext to Coliseum

&

Carry

j
;

n7

iji0'

thereafter.

P

Morris noted that numerous construction jobs have decreased already limited parking facilities and
urged continued student

Dear Flcance,
II ccrtainlv is a small world.

,

uu o

.

m.nn

The committee, he said, would
be clad to hear as usual "anyone

.

with suggestions or complaints" in
about two weeks. The Judiciary
Committee meets at 3 - p.m. every
Fridav. ADOointments- may be
made with the SGA secretary.

their first date?

Blanche Carbohydrate

j

265 Euclid Ave.

e

...

V

CMai ftfititmtn,
'

;

7iij column is brought Ioom hr the maker of PHILIP MORRIS
Cigarflie$, who tuggett thai if rour mail hat recently been blettej
with tome money from home, intent a Utile of it in the bett tmoke
that money can buy... PHILIP MORRIS, of courte.

OPPOSITE THE ESPLANADE
"JAIZ
HATE

V"1 y

m

r4L

up

FOR

PEOPLE WHO

JAZZ"

"INTERPRETATIONS'
by 5tan Geti Quintet, no.
"CONCERTO FOR
JAZZ BAND AND
5YMPHONY ORCHESTRA"
and
by Siuter-Finega- n
Frits Reiner
'DIMENSIONS"
featuring Maynard Ferguson

AY1

'

IF

in on ft

37

S uu

TOILETRIES-COSMETI- CS

SCHOOL

SUPPLIES-TOBACC- OS

"SAL SALVADOR"

RECORDS,
RADIOS
TELEVISION

Will Dunn Orog Co.
LIME- -

1V,S

AND MAXWELL

*