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KENTUCKY KERNEL

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL
Pobll.hed .very FrMsr throughout the Col.
Itte rent by the student oly of the
University of Kentucky

SQUIRREL FOOD

nUSINKSS MANAGER
Joseph K. Hnys '25

FOLO COP

phonr

4085

2117Y
6654
ASSISTANTS
The Kentucky Kernel Is the offlclM news- Mnrgnrct M. Arnold
p.por of the students
.l n'.umnl of the ltohort MUchtll. Jr.
University of Kentucky.
MANAGER OP ACCOUNTS
27
Jnme?
Subscription One Dollar and Fifty Cents a
Year-F- ive
Cent, tha Copy
'28
.

JamcBffoI

ntered at LexInBto

office as second

CIRCULATION MANAGER
Norrlcs Duvnll '26
ASSISTANT
T,erojr Kcffcr '28

EDITOR 1N.CHIEF
J- - A. Estcs

.

MANAGING EDITOR
Arthur It. Morris

"

NEWS

John Mullock

EDITOR

ASSISTANTS

Willy

King

H. A. McNnry 28
"How about a
ADVERTISING MANAGER
he asked.
ADVERTISING
All advertising Is handled directly thru
"Fine," chorused
n business mnnaKcr.
Dalts 6n request.

SPORT EDITOR
ASSISTANTS'
Warren A. Price
Gordon Davis
Taul Jenkins
II. K. Grceory
I.ovcll Underwood
Frank Smith

REPORTERS
Vlrslnla Conroy
Rolnnd Dobcrts
Annabello Murphy
Mnblo C. Graham
va Cnwood
Maria Mlddletown
Kyle Whitehead
Helen Shclton
'
Lois HnrRctt
Nellie Torlan
ASSOCIATE EDITORS
Virginia lloyd
Ernestine Cross
Elizabeth Liilcston
Ninn Howard Nell Plummer
Lydln Roberts
Edna Lewis Wells
Curtis Ucuhlcr Rnlph Conncll
Frel New
Frances Lee
Ted McDowell Emmet Milwnrd
Amanda Cyprctt
Elizabeth Glascock
Euncnla O'ltara Martha Terry Smith
Marjorle Illackburn
Maria McElroy
GeorKin Moore Jameson
Elbert Hell
Lit Helm
Elbert Hell
SOCIETY EDITOR
Edith Mlnnchnn
SQUIRREL FOOD
ASSISTANT
Karl Lewis
Thclma Snyder
I'nuline Adams
FEATURE WRITER
EXCHANGE EDITOR
Dorothy Stcbblns
John J. Walsli

GREETINGS TO OUR GUESTS

lo

the two Hundred ana

twenty-liv- e

The stranger nnd mysolf were bor
ig onch other with pointless quips
n contest in which the stranger ran
n poor second
while we awaited the
chief.
Consequently the Kclschief
club wns fast dying of sheer stupidity
when the chief nrrived burdened with
intellectual smolling salts nnd cere
bral stimulants.

high school students of the state

who are on the campus this week as the guests of the department of Univcr

little burlesque?"

PAGE FIVE

self, over and over, "I wonder what
ho meant by that?"
Tho stranger started, as one will
whoso cogitations (glad that's oft" my
chest) arc interrupted, nnd explained
"Doctor Goofus. head of tho Sec
department, and I are great
inonds. I, not to bo modest, have
knack of writing quite acceptable sec
lology papers. In brief, papers that
Our freshmen have
receive A.
knack, in its way quits as useful as
mine, of handing my previous nancrs
vnriously disguised, in to the cood
Doctor. Tho Doctor returned my last
paper I'riday. As he did ho enitrram
matically remarked, "Now I suppose
it belongs to the ages." "

CORRECT APPAREL FOR WOMEN AND MISSES
Cor. Short and Mill St.
LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY

MW,W4WW

The Kelscricf club ndjourncd.

Mysteriously

A Complete Line of Candies for the
FRATERNITY STORE

Phone 5854
109 Barr Street

enough, he iair lady;"

was repeating that apparently ines- These meetings constitute the beginnings of friendship between the capable refrain, "Good tidings come
(rum t, nn.tk II
siuuunta unu uiu Buuuui which uiuy aru imur lo untur. iiiusu iricnusmps
This thing began to take on all the
are lifelong, and upon their proper inception depend in a large measure the
proportions and a few of the outlines
fruiis they will bear.
of a mystery.
Frankly, there was
some secret here. The next week
So let us begin this week to get acquainted. To those students who ex
my sleuthing activities would have
pect to enter the university when they have finished high school, or who ex made Sherlock Holmes look look as
pect to enter any other college or university, the Kernel wishes to say that inefficient as the constable of Turkey
Wreck, Ky. llut ferret out the secret?
xuur jcuia in turnu inuy uu
iuuui m Buupnijj mu cumot-- impossible. To everyone's relief an
imou
of an individual's life. The university is a sort of mountain peak which the advertisement in the paper Palm Sun
pilgrim climbs, with many labors and with many discomfitures, until ho Jay announced: "Good tidines come
from tho North. Trio
y aiuuua ill. uiu very iuu unu auivuya uiu wuiiu biuuuu uui, uauiu mm uitu u troupe of acrobats will appear at the
vast panorama. irom tnis point ne considers tne wona, anu tnen, naving j3en .li tne jast; najf 0f he wnek."
made his decision, descends into the field whre he begins his labors at the
The carnival spirit that followed
.
KISK HC nUS CIlOSUII.
fn,M
tl. nrn, n nnnnnnnnmnntl
mn were seen to be skylarking in
Is it not a noble acquaintance, worthy of a good beginning?
the streets; confetti was as numerous
as Eskimo pies at a basketball crame:
the milk man was quite as likely to
CLASSICS COMING BACK
leave Madiera as milk. It is a mat
ter of record that not a student went
There is a commendable move on foot among the play producers or. the home.
unueu amies to unng uuck ior uie unprovai ul uio puunc
The stranger whistled one of those
productions.
rasping whistles common to canaries
that habitually oversleep. Me? Dum
For the last few years such plays as "White Cargo", "Rain" and other founded, non plused, flabbergasted,
"nocked out,
those is
V tawdry, immoral, suggestive plays have held the stage. They have been or are enuallvany or all of Trio Tfol.
nnnlirnhln.
mays schJef ciUD was faa reviving.
proguceu wuu such uguiening-iiKruiuuuy uiut cmuu,
have not been given a chance. For comedy we have had presented to us
The stranger, being the first to
the vulgar and for romance and tragedy we have been compelled to view recover, sang, before we could pre
venc nim tn,s "ttle indiscretion of
the suKKestive.
nis youth, we called it:
There is a reason back of tho production of these cheap plays. The pro
Would That I Had the Key
receipts and tho writers
ducers believe that they will swell tho
Your heart is guarded
By doors of jade
believe that they will sell more readily than classical productions. Some
Or is it chrysophrase ?
public enjoys such "stuff."
fact has led them to believe that tho theatre-goinCuriously carven jade
We are optimistic and believe that tho public has tolerated these cheap pro
Has been fashioned
ductions because it had nothing better offered It.
Into doors,
That your heart might be safe
Is much more valuable and
when it
A reform movement
from all questing.
The lock on the door is ivory,
comes from within and we believe that the fact that producers themselves
Platinum and gold.
have taken the task of reforming tho stage will bring about gratifying
For all its delicate beauty,
It is far too strong to be broken
results. They havo begun to realize that tho public appreciates good things
The lock on the door of your heart.
and have decided to glvo tliom to it.
So sleep secure in the knowledge
That your heart is ably guarded.
There was produced In Convent Garden, Loudon, January 17, 1775, u
You would have it
play knowiras "Tho Rivals". It is a humorous littlo classic written by Richard
Safely guarded;
was an ubsolute failure because
You may be carefree now.
Brittley Sheridan and its first production
Your heart is guarded
it was five hours long. Tho author rowroto his play "with scissors". Imme
1

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1

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The Right Step

o

Begin now! Eat good ice cream at least once

every day.

A wholeson

Wo bellevo that tho public loves the higher expressions of art and
good things of life and that it merely appeared to like the cheaper
Boututions becuuso they hud nothing else to consider. We uro optimistic
think tlint Hut i.ffnrlH nf tlmun reform nimliicnrn will nnf lw In viiln
..

.

.

,

.

.

.

Tho chief sighed. Envy, I thought
it was. If not, why did ho refuse to
sing the next verse of his Zoo song.
und We pleaded with him.
"No," 1)0 answered, "illy stuit' does
Tim
n't fit in with such stuff as you and
tho

ivuMiieiiii nut kuiiiiuiuii uiu tiaonii.il iiuii, uiu uuiiik UIUUHIUM10 ytrUllgei' Slllg,
back und the writers will bo Inspired to wiito bettor plays, hoping that I Then he laughed. Tho chief lias
tho nubile will nav them us handsomely for tho nroiluet uh It lmn limn imvlni 11 di'ty laugh.
Dirty as it was, it didn't disturb
,
,
,
,
.
.
,
,ur .mu.y, wwuniw, vu.Bu. muiuuu,.
r.
j. a. ...
tho BtrtlllKer, Ik. WU8 sayjnu. to ,,,,.
iituuiiu-fjuui-

...

refreshing ice cream tones you

of

1

- -- A
Ice

"Purer

College

bev aused

"A Delicious and

Tuxedo
Suits

CREAM
Heathized"
Food."

Well-Balanc-

There's a Dixie Dealer Near You.

SPECIAL

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OTHERS $45

A REAL DINNER

Tuxedo Vests
$6.00

Served at the Supper Hour

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meals.

By doors of jadt
Or s it chrysoprase?

diately it was reproduced in England and in this country hi 1S9G with casts
that will long bo remembered tho most brilliant groups of actors over as
Ah, well, spring is here. Neither
sembled. Joseph Jefferson, William II. Criino, Nat Goodwin, Francis Wilson,
tho chief nor I was too Movent with
Tauer, Josopn iiollanu, 13. w. Holland, Jonn urow, Julia Aianowo
Robert
m
"Chief," I spoke (for I had n dread
Tuber und Fanny Rico names that send a thrill through every lover of good
Q Bllences)
you have long been
notltiL' rnmnnHnd din
nf tlinsn nrnilnotlniiH nf "Thn Hlvnln" In Amorlnii. of
my uuuiiy lu IHK ill vui
.... ..:...
r
lni( b" UIIIU. LilBt.
tlw. utinr,, ' .InM.lnl
llrnfliinni-tnilnv wlin l.nvo rnunlvnil in
(Explanatory, note: Locale Any
tnoir rirst extensive stop suouui uo tne reproduction or "ino iiivaia. moy fraternity house; Time: 7:57 a. m.
expect to also brlut; buck other good plays. In brlnulnir buck "Tho Rivals"
lrlOlt't
,
.
w,u ,,..w,l.., !.,, 1, ....,.!. l.,w,V .,,.(..., ....w r,..,v 1n.wl I... l,rt ix.l.lln. lira
These first hour classes are the bunk
Fisko. Chuuncey Olcott. Thomas A. Wise. James T. Powers. Lola Fisher. RrntW tlioi-e'ovi mi vmir
Lotus Robh, Murlo Cunoll, Kenneth Thomson, Fred Eric, Gerald Rogers, One learns a senseless lot of junk;
.
lliese lirst hour classes are the bunk;
.i
i
.i
IIUIIIIUIU,
HUlUUtk i,
.1.,,,
Dn,,.
w.tl.tlil-uuuifeu xunttu MIIU ii
I'll ...,.L-- ...tf
trunk,
The presentation of good actors and plays by the producers for the And ilec this early din.
consideration of tho public, thou, is tho first noteworthy stop taken to pro- These first hour classes are tho bunk
Brother there's egg on your chin.
vide wholesome entertainment for tho future

Yoi will enjoy better digestion

more vigorous health

e

...

WE DELIVER

THE VIADUCT PHARMACY

-

worm-wuii-

)))W4t)i)t

Phone 4779

bon all big machine
features.
Don't buy any typewriter till you have seen
it. $60 with case.

.

woriu-wnn-

WHOLESALE

University Lunch Room

....

L

Candy Co.

Serv-U- s

To our insistent questioning, the
would add nothing more. I wantered
boys would only answer crptically,
sity Extension, the Kernel wishes to extend greetings on behalf of the stu- down town. Another stranger was
"We went to Joyland last night!"
dent body and of the university at large. This is one of the several times addressing the same words to those
Allah be with you!
,
.
,
....
.
.
sn1f.nnfTif.innf
n mm,
i
n .i n.
imimm
Juu..b
mat me university is nose eacn year io me stuuenis in me preparatory "
LOST On campus a Theta Sigma
ucnt tne Lexington Drug. Later
i.
.
snnnnls nf Kpnriifkv. ' nnil wo rnnv Rnv thnr. lr. in wir.n pnncnrinrnhln nlnnonrn
Finder please return to the
"
"
tnat "ay another of those ubiquitous Phi pin. office.
Kernel
that we look forward to each of these meetings with those who later will strangers was overheard by me in
the Phoenix. You've guessed it. He
send many to join our ranks in the halls of the university.

m

West Short 8L

5

At Corner Mill

the stranger and

As the chief nnd I wnlked homo
through the pleasant night we hcan
I, "where is it?"
music coming throug the door of n
"No, not n show, you dumb-bell- s.
ccrtnm fraternity house. The musi
was of the kind that one associates
with preludes. Sure enough, in a
moment the music stopped, and n
Wc resigned ourselves to the will young man pirouetted through the
door, singing:
Allah as the chief began.
"We ain't a gonna dance no more.
Two weeks before spring vacation
Wc ain't n gonna dance no more,
a subtle change was manifest in the
But how in the world
atmosphere of Lexington. Bird notes
Can the authorities tell
seemed sweeter; the skies appeared
We ain't a gonna dance no more."
more roseate; an air of gaiety per
After he had ceased, another young
vaded the campus.
man, n baby-blu- e
boudoir cap atop
Vaguely musing why this ch'nnge, nis head, came out and chanted:
I wandered into the bookstore. A
"Where's my social privilege, priv- stranger was sayinir to an interested Heve, privilege?
group. "Good tidings come from the
Where's my social privilege, my

North."

301-31-

lology

The authenic college Tuxedo
correct for every event on
the University social calendar.
Tailored in the English manner
loose fitting coat with satin
lapels and wide trousers.
A
value that is beyond compart

MODERATE PRICES

HOURS 5:30 to

University Cafeteria
Basement Main Building

son.

GRAVES, COX & CO.
BOOST THE KERNEL ADVERTISERS

dm.

7

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1

*