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Image 4 of The Kentucky Kernel, December 12, 1919

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THE KENTUCKY KERNEL PAGE 4 THE KENTUCKY KERNEL Published every Friday throughout tho College ycnr by the student body of the University of Kentucky, for the bonoflt of the students, nlumnl nnd faculty of the Institution. The Kentucky Kernel is tho official newspaper of tho University. It is issued with n view of furnishing to its subscribers nil the college news of Kentucky, together with n digest of items of interest concerning the Universities of other States nnd Cnnnda. Miss Blandlng "March on tiptoe one, two, three, four common walk." Deanle Harbison "Did dddld you say 'enmol walk.' " SUBSCRIPTION, ONE DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS A YEAR. FIVE CENTS THE COPY. Entered at Lexington Postofflco as Becond-clasmall matter. s A. GAVIN KORMENT. Louise Will . EDITORIAL STAFF. EDITOR-IN-CHIE- F Mnnaglng Editor Managing Editor .Co-eEditor .Squirrel Food Editor Sport Editor .Exchange Editor .Feature Editor - Robert Raiblo Adele Slado Mary Elizabeth James. Donald Dinning Margaret McClure Frances Marsh .Assistant Prof. "What's problem ?" d AGAINST Dot Blntz "Pitt would have been Prime Minister for a longer time If he hadn't died." CENTRE NOT CONVINCING. It is with extreme astonishment and surprise that such a thing should be deemed possible of any Kentucky college that the Kernel notes In the columns of newspapers of recent date, a wholesale indictment of Centre .College, our neighbor Institution, by West Virginia, making charges so disgraceful In their import as to leave forever the stigma of professionalism on the little Kentucky college, If It does not immediately refute them beyond the shadow of a doubt. The charges, made by one Major Earl Smith, a West Virginia University alumnus, and said to be .the result of investigations made by him, set forth that "Red" Roberts, of Somerset, Ky., who is well known in this section of the State, is none than one of tho former Nesser brothers, formerly members of one of the great professional teams of Ohio, and that his brother, also investired headed, "plays end or half" on the Centre team. The gator also claims that McMillan is a professional player known as Scruggs, and that several other professionals played on the Centre eleven. Major Smith says the team was brought together by "Moran, coach, who came from Texas, and Jim Duffee, Columbus, Ohio, sportsman and ref- r eree," and that the money necessary to hire these men was put up by "race horse and hotel people of Lexington, that big, sporting Kentucky town." If the main facts in Major Smith's charges are no more reliable than the details printed herewith, the whole thing would make an entertaining fairy story but nothing else. The writer knows that McMillan and Roberts played on the Somerset High School football team before entering Centre In 1917, at the time according to Major Smith, that they were playing professional ball in Ohio, and it is hardly possible they could be in two places at once, except in a fairy story in which Major Smith seem3 a past master. The Kernel, a Kentucky publication, wishes to express its sincere hope and confidence that Centre will at once dispel all such rumors that besmirch its fair name and bring disgrace upon one of the oldest and most honored of Kentucky colleges. The charges look at present to 'be merely a of "sour grapes" of fairly defeated opponents, whose champion takes this means to bring solace to their wounded vanity and lessen the sting of defeat by an adversary whom they thought was insignificant; but if these charges are proved untrue, and the Kernel has every reason to believe that they will be so proved, no censure would be too great for the one who brings such accusations against the good name of so venerable an institution as is Centre. Centre College should at once take steps to brand these charges as false, and bring down upon the heads of their authors the just rebuke that all false charges merit, if they be false. It is exceedingly unfortunate Jthat such controversies should arise "between educational institutions of high standing, and especially of such j'Serious nature as this purports to be. No matter how the matter ends, it should be a lesson and reminder to all who may have at any time in the future an inclination to air their views of any college through the columns of the press, to use such caution in their speech as to b.e more convincing than Centre's accusers seem to have been in the present instance. n j tho answer to this Coed. "Sixty." Prof. "How did you get it?" Volco from back of room "Looked in tho bnck of the book." REPORTERS. Elizabeth Marshall, Elizabeth Card, Mary Archer Dell, James A. Dixon, Margaret Smith, Martha Buckman, Harry Cottrell, Terrll Corn. BUSINESS STAFF. Business Manager J. P. Barnes H. B. Loyd Circulation Manager J. Burton Prewitt, Gilbert Smith Assistants CHARGES Lykelle Pome. Thero once was n fair suffrngetto Who said, "Walt 'til tho bnllot we got Prohibition shnll rule, Factory kids go to school, And n womnn bo president yet!" Harding and Cook were shooting pool. Cook won and Ed remarked non chalantly, "Cook, you pay for this, I lon't want to break this two bits." PAROXYSMAL PARODIES In the language of the poet Though the meter may be wrong, (There are many who won't know It) I'll express myself In song. i I've read the lines that Frizzy wrote, 'TIs time that others had their turns; And "Freshles" poems get my goat, So let me be while genius burns. T'was in the day of Troy and Tyre, While Jennie Wren was young, That fierce old Haman did aspire To have proud Mordecai hung. The little Paramecium, growing frantic, With his setae all arrayed, Vowed he'd cross the broad Atlantic, Would he swim? no, he" would wade. "My gas is gone," the ballooner spoke, "I'll park in this cloud a while And fix my Kipp Generator which is broke "It's as fractious as a chile" speaking, science is Epizootically absurd, Not in idle words I speak it, but assiduously Voicing the sentiments of every bird, Studying valence and formulas plte-ousl- "Open up old boy," said the starfish to the mussel, It happened off Panama, And the slanting ray of the departing day, Was the last the mussel saw. Since the foregoing was put into type, the Kernel has been reliably informed that the author of the charges against Centre has acknowledged The meeting came quite unexpected, his mistake and has made full reparation for the attack on the good name It happened in this way, of that institution. A long freight train became disconnected, At the end of a perfect day. FOOD Wo will not linger on this theme, When all the earth Is glad, But from the farmer's words 'twould seem, 'Twas the only colt he had. Ambrose. The Kentucky Colonel says: "In a girl's heart and never know It." NOTICE. of the Lykelle Pome be suah The Knight of the Lexington Drug and don't pronounce it with the ac- retorts: "Isn't that Just like a wocent on the last syllable. It Is There will bo an Important meeting man? She leads on a man she doesn't " that it will sound of the Press Association Monday, care a straw about and turns a cold fifth hour, In the Journalism rooms. to the one she's crazy about Mademoiselle On Dit says: "A girl shoulder Every member Is expected to be presalways knows when a man's in love and theu accuses him of breaking her ent and any prospective members will with her, but a man can almost break heart! Just like a .woman." be welcome. Bpeakin Lyk-'elle.- THAT AWFUL PICTURE! LITERARY SOCIETIES "Resolved, That tho coal strlko is Behold' the constant procession of legal nnd Justifiable," was tho subject gloom-fillesufferers ascending the of a debnto at tho meeting of the Union Armory steps nowadays! Old and Literary Society last Friday, and the young, from careworn Seniors to affirmative, supported by Alprin and giddy Freshmen nrc having their pic Conkwrlght, proved victorious over Hires "took." For tho co ed, thero is tho negntlvc, upheld by Zuckerman a rather agonizing preliminary. nnd Gartln. the debate tho First comes the question of hair! program was lfter concluded with an Interr For tho date with the pho esting talk on tho "Mountains of Ken tographer, the maiden debates on the tucky," by Sylvester Woods. dnto of the shampoo. One's hair Patterson Literary Society. shouldn't look too fluffy and halo-likTho declnmatlon contest of tho Pat and still It mustn't Ho close to ono's head like the skin on an onion and terson Literary Socloty for the Crura then, Argument: What about tho old Medal took placo Friday night In the Little Theatre with Professor Mable faithful net 7 Seven con boy3 may discuss tho relative presiding as chairman. Tho merits of a Jeweled stickpin and those testants fought for tho honors, among of a plain, elegant gold one, although them officers and prominent members Several of the con wo can't believe that they are that of tho society. Beau Brummollsh, certainly, testants were old men who had been but whether tulle Is becoming In an even- In declamatorles before, but the ma ing dress picture Is a more vital ques jority were either new members or tion now at Patt. Hall and fair co eds old members for whom this was the have been rended bitterly as to the first contest. The Judges, Prof. T. T. Jones, Mr. respective "taking" qualities of the A. W. Whiting and Dr. Guy Smith, evening dress nnd middy. Tho date fls painful enough, for awarded the honors as follows: First, what good Christian enjoys the ordeal W. I. Moore, "The Black Horse and second, J. B. Prewitt, of the camera! No wonder the Hindu His Rider"; bets dangerous around even a small "The Old Man"; third, F. P. Bell, The other kodak! Did you ever look the same "Ingersoll on Napoleon." after you have been frozen .rigid by contestants were, George Gregory, the menacing look of the presiding "Mother arid Poet," by Elizabeth Barevil genius, whose quality rett Browning; H. B. McGregor, "The Is his soft words of honey? Your Greatest Thing in the World"; R. D. tongue cleaves to the roof of your Warth, "Lasca" and J. H. Davis, "Linmouth and you grow gloomy. When coln's Gettysburg Address." The different selections were each told to smile, oh! what a sickly result! gony that Is to comd the delivered with such a degree of perOh, fection that it was difficult to say who proofs! really deserved the honors. d half-hou- e best-know- n Horace Mann. At the meeting of Horace Mann this week John Fox, Jr., was the theme of the program. Alta Chandler discussed the "Little Shepherd of Kingdom Harry Cottrell was recently apCome" and Elizabeth Kimbrough anpointed to the position of Associate alyzed his best short story. A critiEditor on The Absent Dorm, succism on John Fox as a descriptive cessor to The Weakly Dorm, a stuwrltr was given by Miriam Kincheloe. dent publication which was founded in the fall of '17, during the last year the dormitories existed, and publish- FRATERNITY GIVES ed at times during the school year SHOWER FOR BRIDE when the Kernel "did pot appear on the campu3." The Lambda Alpha chapter of Owing to the fact that the members Chi Omega entertained with a miscelof last year's staff were engaged In the war and were not In school, the laneous shower in honor of Mrs. Harbison, an alumna and a repaper did not appear, but this year cent bride, at "Tynebrae," the country it will be published and the Robert Mitchell, Jr., prom- home of Miss Martha McClure, Friday ises that this year's paper will be an afternoon. The house was lighted by candles Improvement over past Issues. Exand (flowers were U3ed In all the amination week will probably be the rooms. Refreshments of ice cream first time the paper will appear. Mr. Cottrell is the second assistant and small cakes were served, and the mints In carmine and straw, the Mr. Mitchell has had since this paper was founded and both of his co- fraternity colors. To the music of the wedding march, small Jane Freeman workers have been pledged and Initiated by Alpha Delta Sigma after be- and Franklin Farquhar entered the ing appointed on the staff, Chas. room dressed as bride and bridegroom, followed by the guest of honor. Evans Planck was the other associate The guests formed an aisle for the editor. procession, which halted at a table heaped with the numerous beautiful gifts hidden by a white cloth. The CHURCHES TO FORM BASKETBALL LEAGUE tiny bridegroom removed It and presented Mrs. Harbison with the gifts. Those present were tho patronesses, Announcements have been made on Mrs. Edward Wlest, Mrs. W. E. Freethe campus to the effect that all the man and Mrs. E. F. Farquhar, and the Lexington churches having Bible Sun- following alumnae, members and day Classes composed of University pledges: Betty Davis, Margaret Harstudents will organize a Bible Class bison, Carlisle Chenault, Margaret Basketball League soon. A series of Smith, iClarlbel Kay, Frances Marsh, games will be played during tho next Annabel Hall, Sarah Metcalfe Piper, few weeks and a prize will be given Fanny Summers Tarleton, Emily to the team winning the series. Fur- Young, Mary Adams Talbott, Elizather Information may be obtained beth Allen, Elizabeth Jackson, Kath-erln- e from the Instructors of the various Tucker, Kathleen Renlck, Katy Bible Study Classes or from Ralph W. Henry, Jane Bell, Catherine Herring, Owens, secretary of the University Nancy Innis, Eliza Piggott, Mona y. M. C. A. Saunders and Louise McKee. "ABSENT DORM" IS NEW PUBLICATION editor-in-chie- f,