THE KENTUCKY KERNEL
More difficult to figure out than how
fraternities exist for years with a
balance of 00.0057 4 dollars and
cents to their credit, and harder to
solve that what so and so sees in
"whatcha macallit" is the enigma of
the modern age, the car question!
True, this city of Lexington, which
has the honor of housing us young
Americans who will all be Carl
Sandburgs in a few short years, has
solved the problem by
PARRISH DRY CLEANING
CLEANING AND PRESSING
SUITS PRESSED 35 CENTS
152 South Lime
Quality and Service
JAMES M. BYRNES CO.
Dance Programs and Menus, a Specialty
145 W. SHORT ST.
Are Now For Your
234 E. MAIN STREET
L. W. Culley, Mgr.
Going Home For
KNOW YOUR FACULTY
Then take a box of Miss Holladay'S
choice Easter Candy to your
mother or sweetheart.
READY FOR EASTER SHIPMENT
"I am not a mama's darling," re"Some of the boys even
fight to drive me up to the Administration building when I don't drive
up with one of 'em, I have I Etta
"Huh, well, I don't think much of
the I Etta Pi, and I'd rather go in
than his roadster."
You know, I called it the car question. That was my error, for it
quesreally is the
tion vs. "one or two Packards and
other horseless carriages which we
how we'd act if we ever got in one
And I've nearly been run
over oh, about a dozen times a day,
gets to be a regular daily dozen with
It's just awful, that's all there is to
it. I know one thing, though, whoever
can solve this: "If a man sang 'All
Through the Night' on a machine in
ten minutes, and the record was
smashed in three seconds with a
hatchet by the neighbor next door,
how many fried eels
through a knot-hol-e
time to catch the last train for the
office," can solve the car question.
Thoughts of the Weak
We overheard a professor remark
DRS. J. T. & E. D. SLATON
fraternities and sororities knew so
many of their members were present,
they would lift their pins.
It seems that during the progress
of the interfraternity bridge contest
a Phi Delt was unable to deal, so a
Tau Delt. Iowa. Frivol.
There's always one girl at every
dance that makes the others wish
they'd gone to the movies. Voo Doo.
The camnus cvnic says. "Women,
women, everywhere and not a one
can think." Colorado Dodo.
Prohablv the reason for the decline
of the nonularity of chaperones is the
increasing belief in the power of
guarding angels. Green boat.
$25 to $39
Graduate School; Head Dept.
140 W. Main
Between Lime and Upper
R. B. "Bob" Hawkins
Born Rockport, Indiana, March
schools; Shortridge High school 1898;
A. B., Wabash College 1905; A. M.
Cornell University 1912; Ph. D., Cornell University 1916; Honorary Fel-- ,
low Cornell University 1916-1led in Europe and Ainca laua.
Instructor Brazil High schools 1905-0- 7;
Greencastle Indiana High school
1907; Headmaster Ithaca New York
High school 1908-1School 1915-1Head Department Zoology University of Kentucky
since 1918; Dean 'Graduate
Fellow Amercian Association for
Advancement of Science; member
New York Entomological Society;
Brooklyn Entomological Society;
American Society of Zoologists; Kentucky Academy of Science; Kentucky
UNIVERSITY BARBER SHOP
Chairman University of Kentucky
Athletic Council since 1919; Chairman
Kentucky Extension Committee 1920-2Vice President Lexington Boy
Scout Council 1921-2President Lexington Rotary Club 1925-2Author: Biology of Membracidae;
Membracidae of Connecticut; Kentucky Birds; Outline of Zoology; Catalogue of Membracidae; Wild Life in
Kentucky; also 100 technical papers in
scientific journals chiefly on Membracidae.
Listed in Who's Who in America;
American Men of Science.
A NEW CAR
thinks it's a Lincoln.".
"What do they call her 'Dot' for?"
"She's always trying to polka head
in other's affairs." Sun Dial.
"Is this good hair tonic?"
"Good! Say, I spilled some on my
Ford and it grew such a beard that
SEND YOUR EASTER GREETINGS
not make your hair sticky. Barber shops apply it Drug stores
At All Druggists
$1.50 the pound
333 S. Lime
C. W. READING
from forester lo store manager
After graduating from lllinoli In
Tune of '22 1 started to leatn the
Dullness of wood preservation with
company whose president wai a
close personal friend. As I learned
more of the work. I could aee leaa
of a real future In It.
I iavtng heard of Kresge methods and
Kresge prospects. 1 Investigated
thoroughly aa it U possible for an
outsider to do. This convinced me
that there waa more opportunity for
advancement with this company than
with any other I knew anything
All my friend argued against tha
Idea of my becoming a stockman In
overalls. They laughed at me for
giving up an almost sure tiling to go
to work for a big corporation where
no one knew me.
Today, as a ttore manager. I can
smile at these friends for I am making more money than any of them.
I have gone further socially, financially, and In every other way. than
would have been possible In so short
a time in any other business.
And I have Just started With the
company expanding aa It Is. the opportunities at unlimited."
C W. Rouble
its up to You J
Your college career will soon be over. And
then you must choose your life work. How
important it is that you get started right.
And it is entirely up to youl You may start
in a position, that pays well now, but which
offers little or no opportunity for advancement.
Or you may start for a litde less in a job
where there is much to learn, but which offers
an unlimited future to those who are faithful
and willing to work and study hard.
We start college men at the bottom. But as
they learn and advance we pay them more. In
a few years they may become store managers
dignified positions which pay high salaries.
If you are interested in the job with a future,
write now to our Personnel Department. We
will send a man who has already found success
with this organization, a graduate of your own
college, to meet you ana tell you more about
MORNING Special Breakfast
NOON Plate Lunch, 35c
NIGHT Delightful Dinners
WE WILL DELIVER OR MAIL
1, 2, 3 and 5 pound sizM
DULL, UNRULY HAIR
hair dressing that will
WITH SPECIAL DOUBLE WRAP
"Why, have you been stopping
"What did the man say when you
returned his pocketbook
"Said he thought it contained
Secretary Southern Intercollegiate
Athletic Conference since
Teeth "I dont' know. Six appeal
"Hear about the Scotchman who
I guess." Nebraska Awgwan.
just went insame?"
"No, what was the matter?"
Phi "Were you fired with enthus
"He bought a score card and neither
iasm when you tackled your first
side scored." Webfoot.
Osophy "Was I? I never saw a
man so glad to get rid of me in my
Teacher "What have we now on
earth that we did not have a hundred
Diner "Are you the' young lady
Little boy (bravely answering the
who took my order?"
Waitress "Yes, sir."
Diner "Well, you'r .still looking
fine. How are your grandchildren?"
Him "Well, the doctor had to have
Eyes "Oh, why did the heroine go something to test, didn't he?"
and marry that man with the big
Kappa Sigma (District Grand Mas-- ,
ter of Kentucky and Tennessee); Sigma Xi (President Kentucky Chapter
O. D. K.
4 Doors From Main
Eugenics Society; Kentucky Research
Wilson OrClub (President
nithological Club; Bradford Club;
Kentucky State Historical Society;
member Cornell Okefinokee Expedition 1912; Sand Cave Rescue party
107 S. Limestone
204 Guaranty Bank BIdg.
When you "spruce up" for Easter
be sure to call on
'The only thing for you to do is to
apologize and ask her to forgive you."
Him "Well, they took him to the
"But I was in the right."
doctor's for a mental test, but it wasyou'd better take some n't any use."
flowers when you go." Princeton
For Easter we're showing the
smart two and three button models,
in the popular mixed tans and
grays. They have that soft easy
drape, so much desired by the
well dressed man.
8 a. m. to 5 p.m.
at Carl Sandburg's lecture that if the Educational
CLEANERS AND DYERS
110 E. Maxwell
Mr. Stone has been very successful
as an engineer and is at present head
N. E. Stone, Former Engineer- of the firm of N. E. Stone and Coming Student Visits University pany, Engineers and Contractors, at
Madisonville, Ky. This company has
Mr. N. E. Stone, who graduated been awarded a large number of confrom the College of Engineering, tracts for road building by the Kenof Civil Engineering, in tucky Road Commission.
the class of 1908, was a very welcome
is one of the indoor
caller at the university on Monday, sports which Oxford students are folMarch 28.
lowing, now that the rainy winter
While a student at the university, season has set in. Morris dancing
Mr. Stone was one of the outstanding and
are among other forms
athletes in football and baseball.
allowing their citizens to park their
cars in such lots as Paris or Versailles
when they have business to attend
to down town.
students don't like to walk those few
squares, so they all bring the horsee
less devils up on the campus, and
sez that one fine day she evensaw
a Ford parked in White hall.
Shure and b'gorra if there's one
thing that will turn the hairs of the
dean of women grey, it is the car
question; and if there's one thing that
will make the authorities of the university lose sleep, it's the car question; and if there's one thing that will
make students cut classes on a lovely
spring morning, it's a car! Surely
these are instruments of Satan! As
Akkie sez, "They leadeth me from
class when the sun is bright and the
morning gay; they leadeth me out at
night when the moon is my temptress
and the rules say, .'Ye shall not go;'
and last but not least, they run over
me when I do occasionally walk to
I took Akkie to task about this
here car problem and I said, "Ain't
ya ashamed of yourself, riding from
the Education building to the Administration building? If you're such a
little mama's darling as can not walk
that far, you better go back to