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144 > Page 144 of Four hitherto unpublished gospels : a series of character studies cast in the form of personal memoirs of John the Baptist, Andrew the brother of Simon Peter, Judas Iscariot, James the brother of Jesus / by William E. Barton.

FOUR HITHERTO UNPUBLISHED GOSPELS time she reached Jerusalem our mother was thoroughly convinced; her heart had been with Him all the time, but she had been bewildered. During the last week in Jerusalem she saw Him several times, and when He hung upon the cross she was there, very nearly His last words concern her. He provided for her care in case her sons did not become His followers. But we did become followers of Jesus. After His death a great wave of self-reproach came over us that we had let Him die, our own brother and dearest friend, and never had en- couraged or helped Him. I myself had a vision of Him after He was risen from the dead, and upon my bended knees I asked Him to forgive me for my hardness of heart and unreadiness to believe. That which I did not do while He still lived I did when I knew that He lived again. Other people called me His brother; I call myself His servant. He is my brother but He is also my Lord. I must mention a strange thing that has come to pass. When I became a follower of Jesus it was with the thought that I should be the humblest among his followers, for I had known Him longest but had been latest in confessing Him. I gave up my home in Nazareth and came to Jerusalem. If there was any peril I wanted to share it; if there was any work to be 144