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Image 5 of The Kentucky Kernel, April 9, 1926

Part of The Kentucky Kernel

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PAGE FI KENTUCKY KERNEL 0 preparatory to nlighting once more on the soil of my childhood, I feared I wasn't being noticed ns I should, considering nil the hunting and the banners. 'Bout that time I s sees my fnmily, nnd they nodded like and motioned for mo to join them. As I steps into the midst of the crowd, I caught sight of the read-imatter on the banners, and It seems ns if they wuz celebrntin' the nrrivnl of some big feller who wns to speak on "the Seamy Side of Life LUCILE COOK Which Needs Sewing j" and ten, I wish to repent Akkic lives in further that I was about as it seems welcome I in .Tcllico). Kuttown, and as a ring from an alarm clock. JELLICO ONCE MOKE Well, ns the trnin chugged into .TcAfter that blow, I felt as stunned Well, nfter flnnlly accomplishing llico, I sees the band out, nnd nil the popularity. Well, the next morning, the feat of getting six dnys work done folks diked up, nnd the mayor reading though I hndn't nttended the lecture, n scrap of paper which undoubtedly Mrs. I'urifiky, who is the biggest gosin three, due to the kindness of our y was his "welcome home" speech to sip and in town (we wuz to enjoy the me. I tell you about thnt time, I had in the general store) denr profs who wanted us asks me, "Akdnys hefore our holidny as much ns the warmest feelin' nround the region kie, wo'uns have a great respect for possible, I and Akkie caught our re- of my heart, and I blessed every one ns a siren with tonsilitis, so I deterspective dinkies to our respective of those denr home folks who loved mined to spoil some of that feller's homes (for fear you all have forgot your opinion beings you go to thnt there university what used to always get in trouble over revolution. What did you think of the speech last night?" "Mrs. Purifiky," I replies, "through diligent study, I linve acquired quite n knowledge of the English language, of the delivery and acoustics of speeches, and also of intellects, and I would say that though his head is full We help you maintain it. Vintt us regularly for your hairof vacant nooks, his brain children cuts. Have you met "Shuck," the new barber from are orphans. He really is in dire Shelbyville? Ladies, your neck clipped free. need of n mental crutch." After that oration I sweeps by Mrs. "Satisfaction Always" ' Purifiky only to encounter Hezzie Earnhouser who graduated in my class at high school. She says, "Akkie, I'm in love with that man who gave the address last night. He is all the world to me. What would you advise me to do?" "See a little more of the world," I MAXWELL and LIME PHONE 9193 says in my most collegiate voice. QUTRREI "Do Rolled Stockings, Make a Girl Immortal?" o As I stood on the Inst step of the A Slight Precaution "Can you sign your name with your eyes shut, daddy?" Father "Certainly!" Son "Well, snut your eyes nnd sign my school report." People's Journal. Charleston Charley platform, o Son care-los- FOOD n' "Gawd help the rich, The poor can beg; Gawd help the (lame, With the wooden leg Cause she can't Dance The Charleston." busy-bod- Important Your Prestige The Students Barber Shop J. R. Robinson, Prop. ' JMfHEN Jr - style is combined with quality and long life, as it is in a Stetson, there can be no question as to the hat you should wear. STETSON HATS Styled for young men TRY OUR SERVICE OfiCE . V Hertz Dodges Fords Balloon Tires You have the satiefacti.ii of 4mmc real frMMda. The Storey RENT-A-CA- R Company lhM MM I of the Maybe When a tapering waist is in reach of your arm, With a wonderful plumpness nbout it, , Do you argue the point twixt the right nnd the wrong? Maybe you do but I doubt it. "It was on a moonlight sleigh ride, As We glided o'er the land, That I safely called her 'darling,' And stroked 'her little raincoat. I held her little raincoat, 'Oh, How fast the evening flies.' My soul filled with rnpture As I gazed into her lunch-baske- TRUSTS, Professor Frascr, Dean of the Minnesota Law Faculty. MUNICIPAL CORPORATIONS, Professor Burdick, Dean of the Cornell Law Faculty. PRACTICE, Professor McCaskill of the Cornell Law Faculty. Second Term, July 29 to Sept. 3 CONTRACT, continued. AGENCY, Professor Thompson of the University of Pittsburgh Law. Faculty. WILLS, Professor Vance Yale Law Faculty. of the INSURANCE, Professor Vance. BANKRUPTCY, Assistant Professor Robinson of the Indiana University Law Faculty. PARTNERSHIP, Professor Wilson of the Cornell Law Faculty. CORPORATIONS, Stevens of the Professor Cornell Law Faculty. Students may begin the study of law in the summer session. . For catalogue, address the Cornell Law School Ithaca, N- - Y. University Cafeteria 3 meals served, on the campus, every school day'. Open forenoons for sandwiches, milk, chocolate, coffee, ice cream and candy. P. 0. Box 2193 should come in for its share, too. can stand it if you can. So write instead of thinking it, or of saying where it won't do any good. This Get it off for your edification. your chest. I it it is of Basement Administration Building . after vacation, and another has to rub YOU WILL ALWAYS COME BACK All New Cars THE CRAB First Term, June 21 to July 28 CONTRACT, Assistant Professor Whiteside of the Cornell Law bell. The human body cannot always disThe Proof tinguish heat from cold, and the She "I showed father the verses if it is cold enough, will burn the you sent me. He was pleased with THE CRAB SESSION I am a Crab a Human Crab. The only difference between you and me is that I come out' and crab about the things that don't suit me. You don't. You sit around and fret and get all hot under the collar, and don't put it down in black and white. It gives me a great deal of satisfaction to get When things things off my chest. don't go to suit me, I just go ahead anyone who will listen. and crab to When I hear anyone crabbing, I take note of it on my cuff and write it Some few write out their 'here. complaints and send them to me. One promising young man who is well known in the social world, has written to me, crabbing, because his name was not in the RED LETTER just before vacation. It seems that he thinks he deserves a little free advertising as to styles and action, which he didn't get. You know, when these contributions come in, I gaze solemnly up at the stars with a fervent prayer of thanks, for it saves a deal of wear and tear on my own dome. I don't like to exercise it any more than I,am obliged to. And there is another thing I want to Vacation time is supcrab about. posed to be a time of rest and pleasure, and here one prof, has to go and spoil my whole vacation by telling us that we will have a quiz on Tuesday Ah, Baby She was The kind Of a Girl That Men J. Burns. "I'm surprised at your tailor turning you out like that." "It's not his fault. He can never get the right measurements I'm so Passing Show. ticklish." Cornell University Summer Session " in Law SURETYSHIP. Professor Campbell of the Harvard Law Faculty. MORTGAGES, Professor Camp- Even ination "Hoochers" get poisoned, the "Bootleggers" shoot each other and the undertaker gets the "remainders." nir docs. Faculty. Their wives. In less "Tliink this over, Hnnk! time thnn it takes that boob out there to read this line, Henry Ford makes another $10.00," said Charleston Char ley this morning while a guest at the corner lunch wagon. 1'QUicl PROPERTY, Mr. Willcox New York Bar. Forget A good many people don't have to them." make faces, Nature saved them the He "Indeed. What did he say?" effort. She "He said he was delighted to A man wants to know if a crook find that I wasn't going to marry a goes straight to the penitentiary; how poet." Continent. may smokes in a smoke stack; why Theological Query docs a chocolate drop? Headline in Kentucky newspaper: Prohibition is working out by elim- - Edited by 'Petting,'! flesh, ns Miwif iiumm STUDENT Itm'HlliibiMTATrfi "COWMT VflMUWtM BHMINT CH1LS6 it in by announcing another for They sure are getting Thursday. ready to beat down on us. One contributor has sent in the following; I think I quite agree with him in his spirit: "It was Friday, last week, in a 10 o'clock class, and a 1 o'clock class was my .last. I was tix'ed of the work, and I longed for the rest from the drudge of a week almost past. And I longed in bed, but I to be home, kneWsuch a thing could not be, for I had work to be done that same afternoon, which would keep me some rushed. Golly, Gee! And a date, too, that night, and I knew very well that 'twould not be so good if I'd miss. So I'd rest not that day, nor till sometime that night, for the date was one I WOULD NOT miss. Gosh! Ain't it fierce?" That isn't so bad for a starter, is it? I hope he will keep the good He has promised to send work going. in another in a few days. Now here's the idea of this column. You nil have some sort of crabbing And I am a you would like to do. regular crab myself. You write out your troubles, and send them to me. Just address them to The Crab, P.O. Box 2103, University Station. I'll get them, and as many as that bird who runs this papey will give mo room for, Let us have I'll print in this column. some serious crabbing, and some 1 might even i verm it a humorous. littlo poetry to get in hero, even if it isn't crabbing about something. It' it isn't good, I'll do the crabbing myself. So jar loose. I need help. There are lots of things which aren't right in Maybe' your crabbing the world. won't be about the university or campus life at all. It may bo ubout the city, or legislature, or prohibition. (Page Mr. Kversole.) Evolution The Ox Woman On an East Indian farm, where the crop is tea, a wooden plow turns up the rich black soil. A woman drives, another woman pulls and a black, ox pulls beside her. Six hours under a tropical sun, a bowl of cold rice and six hours more. Then the woman goes to her bed of rushes, and the beast to his mud stall. Tomorrow will be the same. The electric light, the electric Iron, the vacuum cleaner the use of electricity on the farm for pumping water, for milking, and for the cream separator are helping to make life happier. General Electric research and engineering have aided in making these convenl-ence- s possible. A new series of GE advertisements showing what electricity is doing in many fields will be sent on request. Ask for booklet GEK-1- The American home has many conveniences. But many American women often work as hard as their Oriental sisters. They toil at the washtub, they carry water, they churn by hand all tasks which electricity can do for them at small cost, in half the time. possibilities of electricity are The constantly becoming more widely recognized. And the social significance of the release of the American woman from physical drudgery, through the increasing use of electricity in and about the home, will appeal instantly to eveiy college man and woman. labor-savin- g CFNFK AL ELECTRIC OBN KRAI. BLECTKIC COM!' ANY, SCHENliCT ADY, NHW YORK J