Available
"Where do you live?" the Judge

Asked the first hobo.

"No fixed nbode," was the reply.
The Judge then turned to hobo
number two, who was slightly deaf.
"And you Where do you live?"
"On the floor right nbove the
other fellow."
"They say bread contains alcohol."
"Then let's drink n little toast."

The trick
is to find your pipe

and tobacco
will discover the full pleasure
when you hit on
the tobacco that really suits you In the

YOU

i

pipe that really Tits you. Then you can
light lip and lean back and cross your
feet on the mantel or wherever, and
purr and smoke how you can smoke I
The trick is to find your pipe and
your tobacco. Nobody can find them
for you, and until you find them you
must go on groping in outer darkness
but have you tried Edgeworth?
Edgeworth may be just the tobacco
you're looking for. It has a certain
distinctive flavor that men like; it is
cool it will not bite
your tongue; and it is rich with the
savor, fragrant with the aroma, of fine
old burley blended exactly right.
Check us up try Edgeworth in a
good pipe. We'll send you some helpful hints on pipes, and we'll even send
you some Edgeworth, a generous free
packet of it to try, for nothing but
the coupon. That's meeting you more
than halfway, isn't it? We know our
Edgeworth I

Edgeworth Is a careful
blend of good tobaccos
selected especially for
Its quality
endnavot never change.
Buy Edgeworth anywhere in two forms
"Ready Rubbed" and
"Plug Slice" IS pocket package to pound humidor tin. Larus &Bro.
Co., Richmond, Va.

EDGEWORTH

Name

y30

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4

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SBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBl

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If you

By

Hoornyl The annual Is outl Never
In the history of the University, or
nny other University for that mutter, has there been such a dnzzling
dlsplny of beauties and near beauIt rlvnls
ties in one publication.
the pictorial section of a metropolitan newspaper, or the Kentucky
Progress Magazine.
We arc told that It Is the greatest Kentuckian ever published nnd
we believe It. It would be the rankest heresy to doubt a word of this
obvious truth. But upon examination wo find that last year's Kentuckian was also the greatest that
had ever been published. The same
was true of the one before nnd on
back as far as Kcntucklans were
published, but this one enjoys an
advantage that was not the privilege of those others. It was published this year. Annuals have a
way of being the best. It Is their
great fault, and the bete nolr of our
existence.
At the outset the managers made
an Important bid for popularity.
Presumably It was dedicated to the
heroes of the World War. Do not
be mistaken, gentle reader. The
dlmlsh their fame by such an untoward step. On close reading it
will be disclosed that It is not only
dedicated to the heroes, but to the
"peacemakers during the war" and
almost everyone in existence. That
Is a subtletly that even France himself could never perform.
There you are. They not only Include those who actively participated and got themselves shot, or
crowned with glory and muck, but
they also Included those brave radicals who went to prison, or who
propaganda for the glory
of peace and liberty.
It is the duty of every student to
avail himself of an opportunity to
purchase an annual. Please do not
be so mendacious as to borrow one.
It Isn't done. And If you taKe this
attitude you will be a detriment to
the finances of the organization.
Therefore it Is your duty to buy one,
take It home with you, place It in
a safe depository and In the spring
time of every year take it out and
observe your popularity. Of course,
you run the very great disadvantage
of being unpopular, and not having
your picture In the publication
more than five or six times, but that
is your fault. You should have Joined the Y. M. C. A., been its president, dellgate" to its various conferences, secretary to this and that;

"Edmond Steam"
Permanent Wave
$5.00

LAFAYETTE
BEAUTY
PARLOR

LARUS & BRO. CO.
100 S. 2?d St., Richmond, Va.
I'll try your Edgeworth. And I'll try
It in a good pipe.

Town and State- Wo iv let the Edgeworth comet

World War Heroes and Kentuckian BANQUET PLANS Cat Tracksters
Staff Featured in Greatest Annual ARE, ANNOUNCED To Enter North
With U.C. Meet
haven't
should have
PAT RANKIN
Law Students and Faculty to

Large or Small Waves
with Perfect Ringlet
Ends

SMOKING TOBACCO

Phone for Appointment
Ashland 4480 or 3743'
EXPERT OPERATORS
ROSE PERRY, Mgr.
A

MESSAGE

from the funniest pair in

pictures

BjPj

I

X.

I

V

you

be-

longed to enough organizations to
entitle you to at least ten different
pictures in the Annual, having done
this you may safely feel that your
four years nt this University have
not been wasted.
Of course you might not be able
to persuade some competent business man to this way of thinking,
but It Is a platitude among collegiate circles that business men arc
stupid beasts anyway.
Another argument for purchasing
this book Is that It gives one an opportunity for learning the names of
faces that one
all those familiar
speaks to each day. It Is to be
that the Annual was not
published at the beginning of the
year Instead of this end of It for
then we would have known all of
those people, and called them by
their first names. Think of the
embarrassment it would have

Sigma Delta Chi to
Initiate Nine May 18
Pledges Are Juniors, Sophomores In College of Arts
and Sciences
Nine students In the department
of Journalism were pledged to Sigma
Delta Chi, honorary Journalistic
fraternity, at Its regular monthly
meeting at 2:00 o'clock Sunday afternoon In the Journalism department of McVey hall. Regular Inexercises will be held
itiation
May 18.
The pledges were Joseph Conboy,
South Bend. Ind.; Elwood Kruger,
Hasbronck Heights, N. J.; George
B. Walte, Louisville; Howard Will-lam- s,
Lexington; all Juniors In the
College of Arts and Sciences; WillHarry A.
iam Shafer, Falmouth;
Dent, Russell; Daniel Goodman,
Lexington; Vernon Rooks, Paducah;
nnrf VAhprt McDonald. Plnevllle. all
sophomores In the College of Arts
and Sciences.

Hear Judge Simeon S. Willis at Annual AfTair to He
Held on May 12

The annual Law College banquet
will be held at C:30 o'clock Monday
night, May 12, at the Phoenix hotel.
Judge Simeon S. Willis, of the Kentucky Court of Appeals, will be the
principal speaker.
The program committee, headed
by A. J. Asher, senior, and assisted
by Charles Rcldenger, Junior and
John C. Bagwell, first year, Invites
students to bring their mothers,
wives or young lady friends to the
banquet.
Annual banquets have been given
by the Law College
for several
years, but the guests, In former
years, have been limited to members
of the school and faculty and a few
members of the local bar. For the
past two years Dean Evans has been
giving the students of the Law
school the opportunity and privilege
of hearing discussions of Interesting
problems In the law by leading lawyers and Judges throughout the
state.
The endeavor reached Its highest
success In the program of the Law
College banquet last year, when the
students and guests had the opportunity of hearing such leading
members of the profession as Judge
Thomas B. McGregor, Judge Robert G. Gordon, of Louisville, and
Judge David A. McCandless, former
Chief Justice of the Court of Appeals.
The program committee In charge
of the banquet last year, under the
direction of A. J. Asher, chairman,
lnauguarted the Idea of adding to
the list of guests the wives of the
faculty and students, the mothers
of the students, and the young lady
friends of those who wished to attend. The success of this proposal
was seen In the attendance of more
guests, faculty
than
and students, which was a great increase over the attendance of former years.
authorities might do well In dividing
some of our classrooms into above
10 parts.

CQUIRRET
O FOOD

Our eyes have quite recovered
from the dazzling array of beauty
that was presented to the admiring
multitude on May Day. Our ears
have not quite ceased burning from
the many, many uncomplimentary
comments on our daring- - exposure
of the May Queen and king.

L

WILLIAM ARDERY
Amid the cheers of his many
pals and pallettes, Wyman Thom-asso- n
led practically all the way
In the half mile event in the
track meet against Sewanee the
other day. At the finish however it was the gentleman from
the South who flashed to victory.
It is reported that Wyman's defeat was due to a slight touch
of "Jake leg" which he developed
at the gingham dance. After his
noble defeat Wayman retired from
the no longer admiring multitude
to support his shapely head in his
ten fingers and to permit gall and
wormwood to have their way with
his stout heart. Several of our
cruder humorists saw him as he
sat in the most utter dejection
and forthwith formulated a plan
to ease the conscience of this
vanquished hero. A tinted son of
the purple dusk was summoned
and was told that he would be
paid one dime, cash money, if he
would go up to Wayman, encircle
him with his arm and whisper
sweet words of comfort and encouragement into his shell pink
ear.. The dusky one at first assented and then doubt seemed to
spread over hs features. "Boss"
said he, "I'se gotta see dis man
befo I comforts him." The humorists agreed, feeling sure that
Wayman's fair physlogomy would
oirer no Hindrance 10 me pian.
The ebonite gazed long and
steadily at the trackster's noble
visage and returned with these
words: "Boss you is offerln' me
a dime fo' a million dollah job."

We suddenly have become conservative after last week's mess
and will refrain from relating a
t,
a
little story about a
lonely road, a charming gentleman, a cop and a marriage license.
With all those hints you can
make up the story for yourself.

Kelly's new car proved quite a
problem to the Tavern filth sling-er- s
for several days. Finally one of
them crashed through with the solution that there are a lot of old men
in this town who have great rock
piles and a strong admiration for
football players.
Our correspondent at Washington
and Lee gives us this one One of
the young lawyers who had celebrated the festivities of the evening a little more than was his wont
retired with a lighted cigarette between his lips. He lapsed at once
Into that serene state which Is
Baccluls one gift to Inebriates but
was suddenly awaicenea Dy a rainer
sensation
warm and unpleasant
which had its source in the burning
mattress. The odor of the smoke
and heat thoroughly displeased him.
so, seizing the remainder .of a quart
out In his
of gin, he staggered
partially burned pajamas to the
room of a friend where he spent the
remainder of the night In the most
sublime slumber.
Daughter
Daddy, you
aren't you?

Father

Moore-Youn-

near future because there are never

mnrn thnn one or two students In
it. Acting on this principle, the

L

Well, If it's more

g

than ten

Electric

Hit- - Hluc

Enters Fifth Match
With Three Wins to
Its Credit

The former has been doing around next year's football team. Wright,
22 feet quite consistently all year.
Andrews and Hicks form the
The pole vault Is another question dhctis Irlumvcrate with "Babe"
acting as chairman.
mark as Gibson and Porter alterA
quartet composed of Jones,
nate In sharing the honor .
"Buddy" Cav.ana has been low
Thomasson, O'Bryant and Captain
Ing the javelin around 151 feet Owens won the
relay at the
to best his nearest rival, Hcbcr. Georgia Tech relays In Atlanta.
After the Cincinnati meet, Coach
"Babe" Wright, the Sturgls mountain, recently heaved the shot to Bcrnlc Shlvely will groom his
a new University record of 41 feet, charges for the Southern Confer8 Inches. He has a worthy second
ence meet to be held In BirmingIn "Floppy" Farquer, captain of ham, May 17.

tmjmttttmtnmmttmtwmttmtmmtttmmtntmmtttm

By SAM ALLEN

The Wildcat track team will Invade the northland
for the first
time this year when they meet the
Bearcats of Cincinnati U. Saturday
afternoon. The Big Blue boasts a
powerful outfit but It expects plenty
of trouble In Its clash with the
Buckeye thlnlles. The Cincinnati
cinder merchants
defeated
the
Georgetown Tigers by a much safer
margin than did Kentucky track
sters earlier In the season. This will
be the fifth dual meet for the 'Cats
who have won three out of four
starts decisively. The Tennessee Vols
turned the tables and sent the 'Cats
home with the lesser end of a 68
to 49 count.
"Shipwreck" Kelly and "Hurry"
Hcbcr have been battling it out
In the century with Kelly having
a slight edge on the Newport lad.
Kelly is high man on the team,
having won three firsts In every
meet this year. Coach Shlvely
pulled the surprise act when he
entered Kelly In the
at Knoxvllle.. The Springfield flash came through in a
pleasing manner and captured
first place. However, Hcbcr has
been pushing him plenty and a
great race is promised whenever
the two boys tie up. The time
has been 10 seconds flat.
JONES TAKES WINGS
The 220-yadash finds a running
mate for Kelly In Clyde Jones. Jones
has Just recently been placed in the
shorted sprints, his specialty being
run. In this event,
the
Jones Is paired up with Ruttencut- ter. The former has the advantage
and has been running the distance
In approximately 51 seconds most
of the time.
Thome is another
promising quarter-mil- e
candidate.
pride
Wayman
Thomasson,
of
"Hoptown" has had things pretty
much his own way in the half-mil- e
until recently when Captain Owens
was placed In this event. The
distance Is a bit short for Owens
but he runs Thomasson a close
second In approximately 2 minutes.
low hurdles
In the
"Whltcy" Wicnman usually shows
his heels to his teammate, Will-lam- s,
on a straight course, but the
latter is a glutton for curves and
can usually outdistance Wicnman on the turn. Their time has
been running close to 25 seconds.
In the high hurdles Cavana and
Shipley are almost a- toss up for
struggle for
honors as they
supremacy.
They have been
clocked at 16 seconds.
OWENS PUSHES JERRY
"Scaley" Roberts and Bob Porter
take the field in the high jump.
Roberts has not yet been able to
reach the form he had in high
school when he cleared the bar at
6 feet for the state title but he may
Increase his altitude before the
season draws to a close. Freddy Mc-Lareceived a sprained ankle at
the start of the year and has been
an onlooker since. Kelly and Porter are paired up In the broad jump.

Corner

Main and Mill

Streets

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Contracting
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Wp nrp tnlri that the Kernel news
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are a perfect dear,

dollars I'm not.

One of Andrew Hoover's profs
refers to him as, "President."

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PAGE FIVE

KERNEL

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BREECHES
HIKING BOOTS

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33

*