THE

KENttiCkT-'irtSRNfc-

and flung them far into the
waters below.
"Now, he soliloquized, "I'll go and
(Formerly The idea).
Published every Thursday throughout the College year by the student body tell her about it."
of the State University of Kentucky, for the benefit of the stuAnother
dents, alumni and faculty of the institution.
Miss Rebecca Smith, who did not go
THE KENTUCKY KERNEL is the official newspaper of the University.
ship, although InIt la issued with the view of furnishing to Its subscribers all the college news to Europe on Ford's
of Kentucky, together with a digest of itemB of Interest concerning the uni- vited, Is hereby nominated for
versities of other States and Canada.
Diplomat.
FIVE CENTS PER COPY
SUBSCRIPTION, ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR.
mail matter.
Entered at Lexington PoBtoffice as second-clas- s
Echoes From the Mess Hall.
EDITORIAL STAFF.
"Shoot the biscuits."
J. FRANKLIN CORN
"Slip me the zip."
Assistant Editor
Bart N. Peak
Managing Editor
Miss Auita Crabbe
"Where's George R.; I'm hungry?"
"Squirrel Food"
:
William Shlnnick
"Check on it"
"Coed"ltor
MIm Rebecca Smith
"Second check."
Athletic Editor
MoClarty Harbison
toExchange Editor
J. H. Marsh
"Ain't there any food
.
night?"
Locals and Law Miss K. Mitchell.... Home Economics
J. T. Gooch
"Aw, have some beans."
Harry Melton
Mechanical Herbert Graham
Fraternities
Mining Miss Anna L. Whitworth .... Sororities
8. J. CaudiU
Agriculture Miss Elizabeth Duncan
James McConnell
Questions and Answer.
Patt Hall
Miss Elsie Heller
Education
"I am very fond of onions, but my
REPORTERS.
How
M. C. Finney steady doesn't like the odor.
H. J. Evans
W. T. Cottingham
Estill Woods
MIbs Mildred Taylor.
can I eat them and disguise the fact
BUSINESS STAFF.
calls?" Rose.
W. J. Harris
Business Manager when he
A little limburger cheese will effectually silence the onions.
Off With the Old; On With the New.
"What can be the trouble with me?
None of the hoys will call on me, altho
There is a sentiment among students of every university that disI am young
courages the wearing of insignia gained in preparatory schools.
and wealthy and my
mirror tells me I am better looking
There are not many students who would willingly go against the customs and .traditions of Old State. It is reasonably certain, therefore, that than most girls." Lonely Lizzie.
Get a new mirror, Liz. The old one
when a student parades across the campus with his chest stuck out at an
lied.
degrees and a big high school letter pasted conspicuangle of forty-fiv- e
"Why has the sport shirt fallen in
ously thereupon, or wears a variety of pins which would do credit to a
to disuse'.' I have four and they are
German field marshal on parade, .that the wearer of these
a dead loss to me." Classy Clarence.
decorations is merely Ignorant of University customs and of the unfavorIt would chap your neck to wash it
able comment which he causes.
down that far this cold weather, Clar
The students don't want to know what a man did in high school;
ence.
they want to know what he will do here.
look

The Kentucky Kernel

EDITOR-IN-CHIE-

F

The Y. M. C. A.
There is an erroneous belief in the minds of many students that the
A. is an organization of pious nincompoops who inflict themselves
upon their fellows and endeavor to instill their unwelcome creed into the
hearts of all with whom they come in contact. Some few unthinking' ones
hold the preposterous idea that the organization is nothing other than an
immense grafting scheme clothed in the garb of Christianity.
Y. M. C.

The Y. M. C. A. is neither. It is a student organization for the benefit
of the students of the University. Every man is welcome as. a member
and will not be called upon for active service unless he volunteers. A
money contribution is not necessary for membership, although such a
contribution will be appreciated. All funds are applied to the upkeep of
the association and all expenditures must be approved by a board of management composed of four faculty members, four Lexington business men
and four students.
The work of the association will be very practical. Among other
'things a reading room will be fully equipped and furnished with the best
current literature. In addition to the piano now in use a Victrola will be
installed. A basketball team will be organized which will probably be entered In The Lexington Church Basketball League.
The best men in school are members of the Y. M. iC. A.; men who
stand highest In athletics and in all other branches of student activity.
It behooves every man who has his own good and the Interest of his Alma
iMater at heart to g'.ve his support to this organization.
plete this deed which he had planned
after so many long hours of heart
rending conflict between duty and de

-

SQUIRREL FOOD

sire.
The Kentucky Colonel

And now that the time was at hand
that which was dearest to

to give up

Says:

The people of Europe are in a terri
ble predicament, suh. Eithah they
must retain ferocious wan or they can
accept the dove of peace precariously
perched on the end of Ford oughkto-mobllIn eithah case they will get
what Sherman said, suh.
The State University

Y.

M.

C.

A.

lt week purchased

two cases of
to be consumed at their get
.ether meeting, but not a drop was
jk. None of the "Y" members had
'
tie opener and the visitors were
to produce theirs.

;ca-Col- a

jjjfv

Our Weakly Novel.
The man stealthily made his way
put upon the bridge and stood looking
.wildly into the black waters below.
.was a fitting night In which to com- -

him his courage almost failed.
it was hard; harder than he had
But ' it was for her sake.
Rather than continue to give her pain
and distress he would take this final
method of removing at least a part
of the cause of her unhappiness.
He took a morbid pleasure in picturing her as she received the news
of what he had done. In fancy he
saw the sharp gasp of surprise; the
quivering eyelids; the trembling lips.
But enough; he must take the step
before his courage failed him.
"Goodbye," he muttered, nerving
himself. And again, "goodbye; good
bye!"
Then, with a Bupreme effort, he
slowly and affectionately took an old
pipe and a can of tobacco from his
pocket, held them for one last long
dreamed.

iparkct. The aesthetic effect that may chosen by the "M" men to lead the
Michigan football team for 1916.
be produced by a lot of
bricklayers, clad In bright pink, is
Physics Psalm.
something to be dreaded. Hartford
Physics Is the limit; I cannot deny
CouranL
red-face- d

it

Georgia's new prohibition law has
limited the Importation of drinkables
t
to two quarts of whisky,
pints of beer and a gallon of wine
'per month per person.
Now let's have a law limiting the
number of lynching and jail deliveries to something like three or four
'per month for each 1,000 population.
forty-eigh-

,

It maketh me Me down at night with
a heavy heart:
It causeth me to cheat for my

grade's sake:
Yea, tho I shall study it on my death
bed
'
I shall not know it, for H is above
my mental power.
The problems and formulas, they
drive me wild,
I must write up a notebook la the
presence of a football game.
It is as a great heat upon my head;
FIVE YEARS AGO
my brains have evaporated.
(From the Files of The Idea.)
Surely, problems, formulas, and experiments shall follow me all the days
of my life.
December 8, 1910.
And I shall die without mastering
Coach E. R. Sweetland resigns as
Somerset Idea
coach of the athletic teams of the Uni- Physics.
versity. He does not announce his
plans for the future but says that he
Indiana.
Jim Thorpe, the famous Indian ath"is leaving a student body that he
lete, is to be assistant coach at Inloves."
The first Glee Club concert an- diana,
nounced for December 16, at Versailles.
Northwestern.
A number
of students attend a
Coeds at Northwestern University
dance at the Asylum and report a large have now opened a barber shop with
time dancing around with the Inmates. four chairs, the profits to go toward
This ie
The nXt issue of The Idea to be a new women's building.
gotten out by the class in Journalism. only one of the dozen or more different schemes the girls are backing.
Five Little Maids From School.

HERE AND THERE

Five little maids from a seminary
Sneaked down town where the lights
I. B. V. D's.
were glary;
II. Breeze.
One of the maids of the five, unwary,
Iowa State.
III. Freeze.
Joined a show as a footlight fairy
'
Grace Ginther, a Freshman Home
iFour little maids from school.
Economics student at Iowa State, was
Human Frailties.
face, as a re"I would not wear so short a skirt," 'badly burned about the
Four little maids sat around a table
explosion in the chemical
sult of an
Said Myrtle Goldilocks,
All took sodas except poor Mabel
laboratory, when she poured water inThen she tripped down the avenue
She never looked at the bottle label
to concentrated sulphuric.
rolled-dowsocks.
And she couldn't walk, 'cause she
Houston PoBt
wasn't able
Wireless.
Three little maids from school.
Last night you suffered; wireless mes"I wouldn't wear them rolled-dowsage of
socks."
Three little maids met a traffic copper,
Your pain sped o'er the many miles
Said Kathryn Keller-KocOne tried to flirt and he couldn't stop
Then stopped and hoisted up her foot Between, and came to my attuned soul,
her,
And all that was within me longed
To wind her ankle watch.
So he pinched her because this wasn't
To comfort you.
Silver and Gold,
proper
Two little maids from school.
I could not come to
Convention-boun"I'll never wear an ankle watch,"
you;
Said dainty Lizzie Lutz.
Two little maids met a dancing masAnd then she took six bones and I could not lay my hand In yours
ter;
And say: "I understand." I could not At him one maid shyly cast her
bought
I
shed
A pair of fur-to- p
boots.
Big blue eyes and to wed he asked
For you the tears that came for fear
her
Year.
Owed to My Twenty-Firs- t
The world might smile.
Then they hiked to the nearest pastor
A sense of manhood's mighty joys;
One little maid from school.
A pair of dirty corduroys;
But artificial custom has no pow'r
A Senior cane; a Senior ring;
O'er this one thing; it stands apart,
One little maid waiting for a trolley-Pas- sing
A Freshman girl swung on my wing; One blossom 'midst the rue:
That
autoist said, "Ride Mollis?"
A, lordly .walk; a lordly air;
your hurt soul
"Sure!" said she; "Woa't that be
A hatful of conceit to spare;
Could call across to me, and I
jolly!"
A timid underclassman's goat;
Could answer you.
Nobody's seen her since, by golly!
A right to buy and sell a vote;
The Mlssdssippktn.
No little maids from school!
A void to put some knowledge in;
D
N THIN.
A scraggly mustache
MORAL:
Transylvania.
"The Winter's Tale."

n

n

d

I. M. A., '16.

tackle, Oh, little maid, stick to your books!
James P. Neel,
of next The world is full of knaves and
lias been elected captain
Weill Weill Weill
crooks
year's footlball team at Transylvania.
DENVER, Colo., December 4. ReIts golden glitter itt but for looks
turning from the funeral of his father,
Stick to the "sem's" safe inglenooks
Michigan.
who was murdered Tuesday evening,
Stick, little maid, in school.
Johnny Maulbetsch, halfback on the
Rlenzi C. Dickens, 34, was arrested on
Exchange.
team last year, was
suspicion. His father, W." H. Dickens,
pioneer banker and! wealthiest citizen
of Longmont, Colo., was shot where he
sat in his library. News Item.

SHOES OF SUPERIOR QUALITY

Not to Speak of Pink Jerseys for the
"Wild Cats."
Pink pants, for pale people may be
come a reality instead of a mep-handful of words, shortly. The reason is this: The beautiful blue color
that is usual in overalls comes, from, a
dye that is getting very scarce in the

FOR COLLEGE MEN AND WOMEN.

Visit us and see our excellent lines.

Special attention

ts "University

sessle.

e

S.

Bassett t& Sons
2M West Main

Strsst

*