THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

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Ycul) Find The College Girl

Strand Theatre

Opera House

Ben AH Theatre

"The Best in Moving Pictures"

I SQUIRREL I

The College Boy At The

"High-Cla- ss

moons."
Dot "What a wonderful

canoeing!"

Vaudeville of 6 Big Acts"

Legitimate Attractions"

for

placo

Ex.

FOOD

Henderson Scz:
The only difference between a match
A Rood dcnl of wntcr hns run under nnd n girl is thnt when you blow one
Brooklyn Bridge since the great sour nnd it goes out, while when the other goes
lonR-fnc- c
reformer tried to put n crimp out you generally have to blow.
in the gentle nrt of kissing.
!J

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The number of kiss micobes thnt
luive frisked nbout this locality in the
pnst few years have increased, according
to out statistical expert to approximately 134,987,780,752,087,574,287,921
although
he may have lost one or two in the count.
A microbe census is never exnetly cor-lcc- t.
Be that as it may, there is no doubt,
t ut there is the pith and point of this
Article.
Dr. Kotsoff, a scientist, in an address
a philosphical society, recommended kissing as a stimulant to health.
He did not recommend
kisses cither, but regular old
fashioned sockdologers like Olga Nether-fcol- c
used to pass out six nights a week
nnd Wednesday
nnd Saturday mats.
"Kissing between lovers or sweethearts,"
said Dr. Kotsoff, "sends forth ethcral and
hypnotic wave, traveling with great
velocity and electrifying and rejuvenating every psychic, mental and physical
cell structure of the body. It is a most
potent agency for courage, good-chee- r,
optimism, hope, health and longevity."
There is no doubt. We'll say she do!
It is even proposed that squads of
kissable young women be sent out to
make the rounds and restore young men
to perfect health by kissing them. They
would make us a nation of Dempseys and
Lewises and the next nation to go to
war with us would be sorry, that's all.
Much obliged, professor. In behalf
of the park benchers, the Patt Hallers,
the Fifth Avenue bussers, nnd the great
aimy of college osculators, we thank
you, there is no doubt.
Now then, they will feel authorized to
go 'on kissing. They would anyhow.
A lady friend of ours, supposedly demure and retiring, read the above article
nnd said, "Of course, my earlier training
will not let me agree with that, but there
is some truth in it.
You ought to have seen Molloy packing
Alice Bradys hound. A college education
does tell??

Domestic Science
,
Miss Cornell "You seem to know
nothing nbout this; how would you

dress a chicken?"
Freshman "With

fur collar in
and silk stockings

n

Rummer nnd pumps
in winter."

RAW

The night was raw,
The party rawer;
I wish that
I had never sawer.
We were both stewed
She was the steweder;
I iwisht to 'ell
I'd never knew'der. j
(Someone must lose
I was the loser.

She craved more hooch
Could I refuser?
The town was dry
And she was dryer;
Wihite-mul- e
was all
That I could buyer.
We found a still
Approached It- stiller
And bought a quart
Of Red "Blues Killer."
-

Now she was sick,
But I was sicker;
So I laid off
This bootleg liquor.
They called it splint,
(stirred with a splinter)
And now she rests
Where they don't have winter.
The Showme, U. of Missouri.

WHATAQUEERNAME CLUB
(Historical classification)
The Artillery Sisters Margaret and
Carherine Gunn.
The Geology
Sisters Vivian and
Nellie Stone; (Elsie Racke.)
I'se dem pall bearin skates, Mistah?
The Telephone Sisters Gladys and
Sea Captain, to one leaning over the Brnice Booth.
lail "Weak stomach, my lad?"
The Ginger Sisters Edna and ElizaBoy, nervously "Why, aint I putting beth Snapp.
it as far as the rest of them?"
Genetically
speaking
Gus
"Is
Looney--

Prof.

Ratt
and Jupiter has nine

A Gateway
gateway bounded
by two brick pilasters and ornamental lamps, but it is unlike any other
gateway in the entire world.
NLY a

forty-fo-

For back of it is the General Electric
Company's main office building, accommodating 2300 employees. And just
next door is its main laboratory with the
best equipment for testing, standardizing and research at the command of capable engineers. Then down the street a
mile long are other buildings where
electrical products are made by the
thousands of electrical workers who
daily stream through.

Through this gate messages and representatives from a score of other factories
and over fifty branch offices come and
go every hour an endless chain of coordinated activities carrying on and enlarging the scope of over a quarter century's work for the betterment of
'mankind.
What a story this gate would tell, if it
could, of the leaders of the electrical industry and of ambassadors from other
industries and institutions and from
foreign lands. The story would be the
history of electric lighting, electric
transportation, electrified industrials
and electricity in the home.

ctric
iier
Company

"

What color is Red Greene?
"Is Bill Finn a chicken or fish?"

ot

Electrical

Schenectady, N. Y.

General Office

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DON'T FORGET TO COME TO SEE US

'

X!

After The Game We will have all the Foot Ball results Our Drug and Soda department is complete

Fine Stationery
Special Fountain

J:

Toilet Goods
Pea Demonstration This Week

Agents For Miss Ho.laday's Candy
Original Hot Fudge Sundae
Delicious Drinks Served at Our Fountains
o

"DOC, "CASEY JONES"

and

"JOHN R"

LEXINGTON DRUG COMPANY
(Incorporated)

Students hav made their home at the Lexington Drug for 15 years,

why not continue?

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