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THE KENTUCKY KERNEL. Friday. Dec. 9. 10:r

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Plivsies Seminar -- YV- To Carol
To Have Speaker Tuesday INight
From Oak Ridge
Freshmen "Y" and Upperrlass

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going to the Old

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Horn

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St. and Fa'fnn Rtt
Hospital, thry will romr- li.uk ti
the Music Room in th- - St'M for
refreshments.
Part of the eejung's program H
wrnppin gifts to te tafcrn to ?h

710 W. High

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at Lincoln School for a "Y pnM.ict
specialist In "Y" will go Christinas caroling
Cyrus Feldman.
party.
I
C;
TlillA
I
snrrtrnr hrmistrv at the Oak Uldi;e 6:15 p.m. Tuesday. Dec. 13. After
-i-;-:v-M
(Ml
National Laboratory, will speak at
.
the Physics Department's weekly;
seminar at 4 p.m. on Dec. 14 in
'
with
Room 208, Pence Hall.
"Special Speetrochemical Techvniques for Aldins? the Chemist.:
A.
I
Biologist" will be
Metallurgist, and
By Mt Chttk." ttt.)
(Author ef "Dartfott
'the subject of the talk given by
iFeldman. He is a member of the,
analytical division of the Oak
Ridge National Laboratory.
Fddman is the second speaker
ri'-THE GILT HORSK
iiiTiiiumniiiMjiiiwui
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mi
from the Oak Ridge National Lab- Mi,,,,,,,,!!,,,.,-- n
oratory to appear at the Physics
Department's weekly seminar. John
Death Car
and I
Today's column is about Christma jjift
II. Nriler spoke here Nor. 30.
followed up safe
Morns. Well,
Sigma Delta Chi, professional journalism fraternity,
This year marks the eighth year suppose you think I'll bepin by siijrjrcstinir Philip
driving week by sponsoring state poliee movies and lectures on highWhy should I ? Anyone
Lab- that the Oak Ridge National Insti-- the joke's on you. I'll do no such thin.
way safety this week. The group also procured the wreckage shown
i with two brains to knock together knows that Philip Morn
oratorv and the Oak Ridge
Building Monabove, which was displayed in front of the Journalism
tute of Nuclear Studies with the makes an absolutely smashing Christmas pift. Only a poor
day and Tuesday.
support of the Atomic Energy Com- buds needs to be told about the
mission and the sponsorship of afflicted soul with atrophied taste
tra- - new Philip Morris; its bracing llavor; its freshness, lightness,
several universities has had a
program.
The Turntable veling lecture the universities help- pleasantness, fcentlencss; its truth, its beauty, its brotherliness
Around
Spiked Shoe Society
one of
UK.
discordant world of ours. So why should I waste timo
ing to sponsor the lecture program. in this
ALEXANDER
By JOHN
Will Meet Thursday
eligible to have members irom telling you what you already know?
Thanksgiving holiday is Oak Ridge National LaboraAfter this
The Spiked Shoe Society will it almost seems a chore to have to the
lectures, conduct
meet in Wildcat Manor Thursday, sit down and write a column. Al- tories to eive take part in scien- seminars, and to
Dec. 15 at 7 p.m.
most, we said! There's one reUniver- All members are urged to be deeming feature, the brand new tific activities here at the
present in order to have their picJaye P. Morgan LP. Fea- sitv. will be served in the Physics '
Tea
tures taken for the Kentiuckian.
turing the orchestra and chorus Library immediately preceding me
of Frank de Vol, it's priced at seminar at 3:20 p.m. Everyone is
$1.98.
invited to attend the seminar.
Some of the tunes have been
PINKSTON'S
released on singles, for the most
"Yellow Rose." Mitch
WATCH SHOP
Dart Decca's. Some have not. For Vamrhnt
Miller; "He." Al Hibbler; "Only
a lair sampling, "just, n. umoiu.
"Suddenly
Fine Wotchcs
and "Life Is Just a Bowl of Cher- You." aJUlHoppers;
Yalley." Cogl Grant; "I
ries." are two tunes which are bet- There's
Watch Repairing
Hear You Knockhi'." Gale Storm.
ter known.
See you next week, with a list"Baby
GRUEN
"Nobody Met the Train."
BULOVA
ELGIN
music,
Don't Do It," and "Life Was Made ing of the best Christmas
PARKER FOUNTAIN PENS
Here
around the turntable.
for Living" are some of the less
Let us, instead, turn to less obvious Rift suggestions.
Rolex Watches $150.00 up
quality and apknown. Yet their
one I bet you never thought of :
Diamond Rings
peal are tops. For our money, this
the beginning
Christmas is the best time of year, but it is also though winter
TEXT BOOKS
alhnm features some of the best
one that
N. LIMESTONE
130
of winter. How about a gift that reminds
of this banker in tunes.
Next doer to Chop Sucy
to Raster
SCHOOL SUPPLIES
label from Lexington has a
LEXINGTON, KY.
The
has come, spring is not far behind? I refer, of course, chicks.)
PHONE
re- new tune out Miranda just
chicks. (Similarly, on Easter one can give Christmas
ENGINEER'S
lpased one bv Arthur Lee Simp- Next, we take up the problem, common to all undergraduates,
kins (work of Maurey Ellenhorn),,
SUPPLIES
:jimH.iM.:lm)Jimiw"M
of trying to buy gifts when you have no money. To this dilemma
"I Wonder, I Wonder" and "Ma- AT
1 say-Fau- gh!
rie." The styling reminds us someIt is not the price uf the gift that counts; it is the
what of John McCormack. We pick
sentiment behind it.
KENNEDY
Outer-bridg- e,
"I Wonder" as the top side.
Take, for example, the case of Outerbridge Sigafoos. Christ-ma- s,
Our attention has been called to
BOOK STORE
a sophomore, finding himself without funds last
another brand new label. Forest
Cleveland, Ohio,
Citv records calls
gave his girl a bottle of good clear water and a nice smooth
405 S. LIME
home, and have just come out with
rock, attaching this touching message to the gift:
ACROSS FROM SUB
their first releases. These feature
accordionist Sal Bucarey with the
Here's sonic water
f A1 rjnee iropprttlw Pnrn
WUltW Ul ill IbUJO
And here's a rock,
.mHy
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On the way to the office the other
morning, I decided to nave my c.tr
washed, and thereby hangs a tale of
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modern industrial ingenuity.
I discovered that assembly line mechanization has been applied to the traditional hand job of auto washing.
I discovered that a skilled crew of
men with the aid of new equipment can
turn out a washed and dried car every
minute for 60 minutes.
And bv a little pencil and paper work.
I calculated that at top speed, only 5
minutes are spent on each car comwhen
pared with 25 or 30
one man alone washes a car with bucket and sponge.
The difference between these figures,
of course, consists of machinery, system,
and training the very factors which
have raised the American standard of
living to the highest in the world.
The automatic car wash is just one
more example of the truism that ac-a
man worktnf with machinery can
complish many times as much as a man
working alone with crude tools.
In the special cas of my own wash
job, it took only seven and a half minutes from the time I drove off the road
until 1 ws back on the road headed
man-minut-

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The tunes include Barclay Al- len's "Cumana," "Debut," written
by AI Kuss, "Dance on My Pillow,"
and "Charivari." These arrange- merits are many spins better in
quality than the average in new
labels, for a pleasant change.
'Dance on My Pillow" promises to
make the grade.
We'd like to nominate tnese 101- lowing tunes as tomorrow's tops:
"Memories of You," the Four
Coins; "A Woman in Love," Four
DV
"Arnvederci Roma.
ArsGibbs; and Sara Vaughn's
Georgia
"C'est La Vie. In the instrumen
tal deDartment. Nelson Riddle's ar
rangement of "Lisbon Antigua" of
fers a pleasing, witty arrangement
of an old tune.
Here's the top ten tunes across
the nation: "Sixteen Tons," "Tennessee" Ernie Ford; "Autumn
Leaves," Roger Williams; "Love Is
a Many Splendored Thing," Four
Aces; "Moments to Remember,"
Four Lads; "Shifting Sands," Billy

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Swimming

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includes white walls.
car, the
As you step back into the go, feelfront door opens and out you of Huxing like a streamlined cituen
ley's Brave New World.
Signed: A CUSTOMER
Surveying the whole scene, Jimmy
Butts thinks the d.iy of the akscmbly
is on the wane. The
line in car washing is definitely hire
car
to tay. Surveys prove ten UOipolish
waht- tone per wetk equals a washes
job. Huy a season ticket all the
you want Monday through Thursday.
$18.(t() for 3 months.
slop
Afttr school or between
u
bv and Kct voiir c;ir washed uhile
vl.,,1 :.t Jiminv Mutt:,' 5 Minit Car Wash.
YEAlt.
middle of Midland. OH EN ALL through
from 8 a in 5 D in. Monday
i!
Thursday. 7:30 a in. 5:30 p.m.
and S.ituid.iv. Sunday (closed" I EI
GO TO CliUHCH.
We honor all credit cards.
Give car wash coupons for Christ-r.i.-- s

I lore ljott, damjhter.
Around the clock.
And the whole delightful gift cost Outerbridge loss than a
penny!
,
I am compelled to report, however, that Outerbridge s girl did
not receive these offerings in the spirit in which they were
tendered. In fact, she Hew into a fit of pique, smashed the bottle
on the rock and stabbed Outerbridge with the jagged edge. Hut
the experience was not without value for Outerbridge. First, he
discovered that the girl was not his type at all. Second, he learned
how to make a tourniquet.
But I digress. Let's examine now a common complaint of
Christmas shoppers: "What do you get for someone who has

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lor the office.
Meet
M
Of this time, about five minutes was
washing. And since the
spent in actual
Qualifying heats for the intraline is capable of handling five cars at a
average output at peak opera- - mural swimming meet will be held
time. th
.... ....
at the Coliseum pool at 5 p.m.
UHi, io a v
aeiays. iou
The system clicks witnouioblong build- Monday, Dec. 12. The finals are
drive Into th back of an car.
One man scheduled for the same time Weding and get out of your
vacuum cleans the inside while two nesday, Dec. 14.
men start steam cleaning your wheels
A scratch meeting of all team
and chrome. As soon as the vacuuminga
mnehcK will take Dlace at 3:00 p.m.
finished, the car is attached to
is
chain belt then drawn through a series Monday, Dec. 12 at the Coliseum
of sprays and huge brushes softer than pool. At that time team coacnes
a shaving brush. It then moves under
desiga line of blowers that look like massive will scratch swimmers and
event each qualified
elephant trunks.
nate which
To complete the drying a fine crew entry Is to swim.
polishes the wintouches up the car.
dows, and shines the brlghtwork, while
you pay the bill at the cashier's window

Cramming
for Exams?

$1.50

everything?"
To this I reply, "Does he?" Does he, for instance, have a
unicycle? A sled dog? A serf? A burnoosc? A hairball! A bung

Fight "Book Fatigue" Safely
Your doctor will tell you a
NoDoz Awakener is safe as an
average cup of hot, black cof
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when you cram for that exam

...or

when

mid-afternoo-

enormously talented men, Fred Bung and Otho Starter. Their
partnership thrived from the very start, and there is no telling
to what heights they might have risen had they not uplit up
over a silly argument. It seems that Bung was a firm believer in
reincarnation; Starter was just as firm a disbeliever. Bung insisted so violently on the truth of reincarnation and Starter
scoffed so positively that they finally decided to go their separate
ways. Singly, alas, the two fared badly. Starter gave up business
altogether, joijied the army, and was killed at San Juan Hill in
iio tnrl.-i- hnried in Arlington National Cemetery. Bung
drifted from job to job until he died of breakbone fever in
Elizabeth, N. J., in 1902. He is today a llama in Uruguay. J

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brings on those "3 o'clock cobwebs. You'll find NoDoz gives
you a lift without a letdown . . .
helps you map back to normal
and fight fatigue safely!
is

tobitti-H- nc

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hF. tor 7 crk now iii fJQ
and yn
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maittrt of Philip Morrh, tpontnrt of thi$ column, hK

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MAX S1IVLMAYS HUIDEO TOIR

SAFE AS COFFEE

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ARREST YOU
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ugt,tion
add
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OF CAMPUS IWMOHt a collection of the funniest ttuff ever uritten
on or about camput iiott on tute at your booktlorr.

mifxmrm
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by two

starter? (The bung starter, incidentally, was invented

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GROOM HAIR AND
REMOVE LOOCU
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CONDITIONS

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HAlB THE NATURAL

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