THE KENTUCKY KERNEL Friday, Jan. 7.

Alumni. Group Offers Free
Year Membership To Gratis
ATTENTION ALL JANUARY

T
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junior ruti!cHtnic orqAiii.ition
Women'? iiT!irllotiic
itin. K.ivc
unnouncttl this vucK.
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GRAIHTES:
The UK Aluir.nl Association, throuch the "cooperation of the University's Board ci Trustees gives one year's free members-hiin the

.

Kngiiievr Group
To Hear Boyd
...

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2-19- 6p

T.,A. Boyd. General Motor- - Research Laboratories consultant, will
be the guest speaker yat the een-erengineering assembly at 10
a.m. Thursday, Jan. 13 in Memorial Hall.
Mr. Boyd is a member of the
board of directors of Ohio State
University Research Foundation.
He has published over 50 technical
papers, and is the author of "Gasoline What Everyone Should
Know About It", and "Research
The Pathfinder of Science and Industry."
The subject of Mr. Boyd's speech
will be "On Being an Engineer."
Mr. Boyd collaborated with
Charles' F. Kettering and the late
Thomas Midgley Jrf In the discovery of tetraethyl lead which is
k
agent for automoan
tive and aviation fuels.- al

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(lor mailing

(name)

(name)

(address)

WRY

ACTIVITY

prcMilrnt,

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Please list two persons who will always know your correct aidress

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INIORIVIATIOX RLANK FOU 1955 C.kHDL'ATES

(address)

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T. A. BOYD

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spntiorcil

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Sat-urda-

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HOME ADDRESS

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runs for second semester ruh
Par.hei:en;c voted to
a wrrr aUo
disruwtd durtnc the lal
Junior PanheHpnlc, composed of mertlnc. Kuh will he formal, with
representative from each sorority the coke partita on the flrM
y
at lt l.ut zr.eetmij.
p'.cjie
and Sunday after flaw In
Carolyn Collier, president of the brfin In
Irhruart. IK (ioldhrrx
Chi brv.eia pledce class, intro- Mid.
plan.-- , tor th:
duced the
or?a:;ime member ci their 'sororttiei.
zation prior to the holiday.1
All sornritie-- n a not p.rtrip.tA committer of serrn has- hrrn in ilA
rih seiot if their ouotat
wt up to makr plan, to institute are full
the junior PanhHIrnw a a subA call meeting Monday will dn
committee of I'anhrllrnic beirin-nln- ? cuvs the plan-- , further.
next vmester. The ftroup will
be on trial b.iMs until the value of
such a program, in f MaMihi"J.
Miss Co'lirr pointed ot;t that
Dennis B6ok
such a group would enable thej
Store
pledges to learn more about ether j
sororities, help Panhellenic iroj
out any ru.-- problems, help sponUSED BOOKS
sor Greek Week and Pledge Pre257 North Lime
sentation, ar.d enable cirl to become more' familiar with Panhel-- j
Phone
lenic rules when they become ac-- I

Alumni Association to all graduates of the University in the fiscal year
immediately followina eraduation.
The free membership will begin June 1 and will continue through
May 31, 1956. This membership includes a subscription to the Kentucky
Kernel, Kentucky Alumnus, the quarterly magazine and to football
ticket priorities for the 1955-5- 6 fiscal year. . ..
All January graduat.es. are urprd to fill put and mail in at or.ee
the following questionnaire, so that the V'u'mni office may certify
eligibility 'for football ticket priorities to theAthletics Association. It
is also necessary to get the correct address for future :mailir.zj.
This .gift m?mbership has- bern established for 'the purpose cf
keeping closer contact between the University and its recent graduate.-- .

Class

.1

Panhellenic Council
To Sbonsor 'Junior Club

1935

NAME (Mr., Miss, Mr.s.i

19.15

'

(Author

Boyd Hall Dance,
FRIDAY
Dance. B. II., ,9:00 p.m.
Farm House Tarty, Scott's.
SATURDAY
IK vs. Georgia Tech, M. C, 8:00 p.m.
Trianjle Formal, Boiling
Sfrinjs, 8:00 p.m.

rith'Chitk"itc.)

SCIENCE MADE SIMPLE: No.

anti-knoc-

Naval Interviews
Are Scheduled

C A L EN DA R

"Barefoot Hog

1

In this day and apre, as I like to call it, everybody should know
something about science. Unfortunately, however, the preat majority
of us are majoring in elocution, and we do not fret a chapce to takn
any science. But we can at least learn the fundamentals.
Though this column is intndedta be a source of innocent merriment 'for all sexes and not to concern itself with weighty matter,
I hayemsked the makers of Philip Morris whether I mifrht not from
time to time use this space for a short lesson in science. "Makers,"
I said to them, "might I not from time to time use this space for a
short lesson in science?".
"Illess you, lad I" cried the makers., chuckling. "You may certainly use this space from time, to time for a short lesson in science."
They are very benign men, the makers, fond of children, small
animals, community singing, and simple country food. Their benevolence is due in no small measure to the cigarettes they smoke, for
Philip Moths is a cigarette to soothe the most savage of breasts. I
refer not only to the quality of the tobacco which, a everyone
but also to the quality
kuows. is amiable, humane, and gracious
01 the package. Here is no fiendishly contrived container to fray tho
fingernails and rasp the nerves. Here, instead, is the most simp'.u
of devices: you pull a tab, a snap is heard, and there, ready at hand.
are your Philip Morris Cigarettes. Strike a match, take a putT, and
heave a delicious little rippling sigh of pure content.

Lt. Jerome Driscoll. U. S. Navy,
representative ot the Naval Air
Station. Columbus. O.. will be at
UK Wednesday and Thursday.
Jan. 19 and 20 to interview men
students who are interested in the
Naval Aviation Cadet Flight
Training Program.
So, with the cordial concurrence of the makers, I will from time to
Interviews will be conducted time devote this column to a brief lesson in science.
from 10 a.m. jo 4 p.m. in the StuLet us start today with chemistry. It is fitting that chemistry
dent Union Building.
should be the first of our series, for chemistry is the oldest of sciences.
Applicants tor the Naval Avia- - having been discovered by Hen rrankhn in 12 ) H.(-- . when an uppto
.tion Cadet Program must have fell on his headwhile he was shooting the breeze with Pythagoras
completed two years of college or one day outside the Acropolis. (The reason they were outile tho
be able to meet this requirement
Acropolis and not inside was that Pythagoras had been thrown Out
within three months after applifor drawing right triangles all
the walls. They had several
cation, and must be 13 years old. meetings outside the Acropolis, over finally Franklin said, "IH)k,
but
but not over 25.
is nothing against you, see, but Fin no kid any nnr
Pythagoras,
They must be single and remain and if I keepthis
laying around on this wet grass with you, I'm liable
so until commissioned. Also each
.to get the break-bon- e
going Inside." Pythagoras, friendless
fever.
candidate must pass a flight physi- - now, moped around Athens I'm a while, then drifted ,IT tr Hruss lt
for
cal examination and flight aptiwhere he married a girl named Harriet Sigafoos and went into th
tude tests.
linseed oil game. He would also certainly bt forgotten todayJbad
After 18 moXuhs of training? the not Shakespeare, written "Othello.")
'
cadet is commissioned as an en-- i
But I digress. We were beginning a discussion of chemistry, and
sign in the Navy or 2nd lieutenant
the best way to .begin is, of course,, with fundamentals. Chemical
in the Marine..-.The- n
he .pends
:
and
approximately 20 months with the are divided into elements. There are four an , larth, fire, from water.
'
Any number of delightful combinations can be made
these
Navy's operating forces.
elements, such as firewater, dacron, and chef's salad.
Lt. Driscoll pointed out that no
Chemicals can be further divided into the classes of explosive
obligation would be incurred by and
wise
those men w ho stop by for int'er- -, chemicals before heAbegins chemist always touches a match to hid
an experiment.
views.
A great variety of containers of different sizes and shapes are uej
.
Qualified men who are ir.ter-este- d
in chemistry
tubes;
in going to the Naval Air anda retorts. (A lab. There are snappy vials, beakers, flasks, pipettes,
comeback, such as "Oh, yeah!"
retort is also a
Station. Columbus, to take the ex"So's your old man!"
aminations may do so without or (Perhaps the most famous retort ever made was
delivered by none
obligation, with transportation,
Web-ster'- s
meals, and lodging furnished by other than Noah Webster himself. It seems that one day Mr.
wife walked unexpectedly into Mr. Webster's oMiee and found
the Navy.
Mr. Webster's secretary sitting on Mr. Webster's knee. "Why Mr.
Webster!" cried Mr. Webster's wife. "I am surprised!"
("No, my dear," he replied. "I am surprised. You are astonished."
(Well, sir, it must be admitted that old Mr. Webster got otT a
good one, but stillXirfe can riot help wishing he hail spent less time
trifling with his secretary, and more time vorkir.g on hii dictionary. Many of his definitions show an appi'llin want of scholarship.
Take, for instance, what happened to me rot long ago. I went to tho
dictionary to look up "houghbar.d" which is a band that you past
around the leg and neck of an 'animal. At the time I was planning
to pass bands around the legs and necks of some animals, and 1
wanted to be sure I ordered the right thing.
(Well sir, thumbing through the H's in the dictionary, I happened to come across "horse." Ancfthis is how Mr. Webster defines
"horse" "a large, solid hoofed herbivorous mammal, used as a
j

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Chi Omega Party

SUNDAY

for

Football - Players,

House. 7:00 p.m-

I K vs.
M.C., 8:00 p.m.

MONDAY
-

DePaal,

EVERYONE ENDS UP AT

Jerry's Drive In
357 South Lime
Curb Service
11:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m.

Jerry's Drive In
East Main at Walton
Curb Service
1:00 Vm. to 1:00 p.m.

WE NEVER

CLOSE

--

non-explosiv-

e.

;

P ajm nail an n SerwiiGe

--

draft animal."

TOILETRIES-COSMETI- CS

SCHOOL

Will'

nt'

SUPPLIES-TOBACC- OS

Oynini

(Now this, I submit, is just plain cloppiness. The most cursory
investigation would have shown Mr. Webster that horses are
mammals. Mammals give milk. Horses do not give milk. It has to b
taken from them under the most evere duress.
(Nor is the horse a draft animal, as Mr. Webster says. Man is a
draft animal. Mr. Webster obviously had the cavalry in mind, but
even in the cavalry it is men who are drafted. Horses volunteer.)

Drug Co.

LIME AND MAXWELL

But I digress. We were discussing chemistry. I have told you tha
most important aspects, but there are many more far too many
to cover in the Kpace remaining here. However, I am sure that there
is a fine chemistry lab at your very own college. Why don't you go up
some afternoon and poke around? Make a kind of fun day out of it.
Bring ukele'es. Wear funny hats. Toast frankfurters on the Hun sen
burners. Be gay, be merry, be loose, for chemistry is your friend!
i W.I ii.lo.n. t,t
Thil column is brought U you by the mnkrrt f I'HIUI' HOKUM
U'k lhwk you would enjoy their cnjurette.

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