THE KENTUCKY KERNEL.

fact 4

The Kentucky Kernel

CADETS TO DRILL EVERY

Published every Thursday throughout tho College year by tho student body of
the University of Kentucky, (or tho benefit of tho students,
alumni and faculty of the Institution.
THE KENTUCKY KERNEL Is the official nowBpapor of the University.
It la issued with the view of furnishing to its subscribers all the college news
9t Kentucky, together with a digest of items of interest concerning the universities of other States and Canada.
UMCRIPTION, ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR.
Entered at Lexington Postoffice as second-claBEDITORIAL STAFF.
William Shinnick
Dillard Turner
Wayne Cottlngham
J, Franklin Corn
Miss Eliza Piggott
Thomas Underwood
J. R. Marsh
Miss Mildred Graham
Kugene Elder
Herbert Schaber
Harry Cottrell
John S. Sherwood.

Promotions Made In Battalion Other News
Notes

L.

4

The Kentucky Colonel Says:
FIVE CENTS PER COPY.
Without further delay, suh, tho
mall matter.
Government should send our cadet
hattallon to the front with orders to
sing "The Star Spangled Banner" to
Assistant Editor .the enemy and thus bring tho war to
Managing Editor an early conclusion, null.
"Squirrel Food"
EDITOR-IN-CHIE-

REPORTERS.
Thornton Connell.
W. C. Draddy.
BUSINESS STAFF.

Eugene Wilson

F

"Coed"ltor
Lykelle Pomes No. 26.
Sporting Editor La Follotto tried to gum tho works
Exchange Editor
With all his might and main.
Y. W. C. A.
He didn't want to light tho "Dutch"
Mining
But Lawyers Can Charge When They
And wanted pcaco to gain.
Literary
Want To.
But when war was declared
Agriculture
Straightway to fight he fared.
If tho law department military company becomes a reality we may exFrederick M. Jackson
pect something like tho following:
Superb.
Captain: Charge!
Hick: I see that Jones realized his
High Private: May it please the
ambition to become a super-maBusiness Manager
captain, wo plead surprise, non comQuick: How's that?
pos mentis, statute of limitations, sic
Hick: He got a Job with the
motion picture company and semper tyrannis, o plurlbus unum and
acted as one of the 'howling mob in ask for postponement.
"The Girth of a Nation."
Light-agrap-

The Hour Has Come.

Upon recommendation of tho commandant, tho Commlttco of Deans has
ordered that drill tako placo at tho
usual time dally, except Saturdays and
Sundays,
Squad
until Inspection.
drills will bo held on Saturdays. The
date of inspection ihas not yet been anGet This Deep One.
nounced by tho War Department, but
First Roommate (In 2x1 dormitory it will probably tako placo tlto latter
room): Geo, I wish we had n llttlo part of April or in tho first part of
May. Daily drill was begun last Monroom.
day.
Second Roommate: Wo have.

Every week wo have something to
bo thankful for. This week it is tho
fact that "Gum Shoo Bill" Stone is
not an alumnus of tho University of
Kentucky.

A wave of patriotism such as the United: States has
not seen since the days preceding the Spanish-America- n
War is sweeping the entire country. The demand that
the army and navy be called out to defend the rights of
American citizens and to express in an emphatic manner our disapproval of the German method of waging
war has grown, until, at the time this short editorial
was written, the Congress is on the verge of declaring
that a state of war exists. The President, in a message
that is a masterpiece both from the standpoints of rhetoric and of lucidity, has asked that this be done arid
that an army of half a million or more be mustered in
and trained for an emergency. He recommends further
that universal military service laws be enacted.
America has been long suffering; she has endured
insults and damages time and again that were apparently sufficient cause for declarations of war, and she
has forborne. But the time for patience has ceased;
President Wilson and his advisers feel that we can wait
no longer; the Spirit of '76 is
and the
martial fever is abroad in the land. The Imperial German government is to learn that America can protect
herself.
The Kernel feels that it is not inappropriate at this
time to refer to the part that college men have played in
recent military activities and the part they will undoubtedly continue to play in the near future. A large
proportion of the militiamen who went to the border
last summer were college men, and according to the officers they made very efficient soldiers. The University
of Kentucky is proud to point to the fact that she furnished a number of these. We believe in the case of
actual hostilities the majority of our students will be
found in service. The training our men have had in
their battalion drill will be of considerable use to them
in the army, and without doubt the reputation of old
Kentucky will be ably upheld, come what may.
The action of the students of the College of Law in
forming a volunteer company is highly commendable
and shows the spirit which animates the University
man. The enthusiastic welcome accorded the men who
returned from the border makes us sure that efforts
like this will be appreciated. The ideal of service that
is taught the college man makes him appreciate the public servant and the public benefactor.
We cannot but be sorry that the time has come
when we must take up arms, but no, we must rejoice
when we realize that the destinies of the greatest nation
in the world are in the hands of the most competent men
that world has ever seen. We have no fears for our national integrity.
"Our country, right or wrong!" We do not need
that slogan. Our country is always right, so long as she
fights for humanity and the rights of such men as those
who fill her armies.

h

TENNESSEE STACKS

The Kernel desires to congratulate
UP WITH WILDCATS;
the Lexington Herald on being able
to sell enough war extras the evening
TEAM GOING GOOD
of the President's address to Congress
to pay for its new building and put a Tennessee's Terrors met the Wildtidy sum in the bank besides.
cats on (Stoll Field yesterday afternoon in .the second baseball game of
Can You Beet This?
the season and are scheduled to play
How did Prince Albert another this afternoon. Tuesday aft
Teacher:
ernoon the Southerners trounced the
come to America?
Transylvania tossers 21 to 0. Owing
Rusty: In cans, mum.
to the fact that the Kernel goes to
We dislike to butt in. But it seems press Wednesday afternoon, no write-uof yesterday's little affair can be
to u sthat the war department should
furnish Theodore (Roosevelt with a given this morning.
The team lias been going exceedbathing suit and two weeks' rations
and let him swim across and bite the ingly well in practice during the past
periscopes off some of those "Dutch" week. The pitching staff especially
gives the coaches great joy when
they behold it. McClellan, from his
Indiana performance and past records,
Bob LaFollette and Bill Bryan
should win practically all his games,
Were There.
Foob: I thought you had gone to while Cooper, Lasley and McKlnney,
live in a secret cave to escape being not to mention Tommy Grubbs, "the
pride of iMt. Sterling," look like windrafted for military service.
ners. The infield and outfield are
So I did.
Boob:
Foob:
What was the matter? well fortified, and if tho wrecking
crew hits as it should, prospects are
Couldn't you find the cave?
Boob : I found1 (the cave alright, but bright.
it was already full.

Tho .commandant, when Interviewthat materials for gun bags,
oil and crocus cloth, have boon ordered
for the purpose of cleaning rifles and
other arms. The crocus cloth is intended to bo used for no other purpose whatever than that of removing
rust from tho Interior of tho bores of
rifles. If used on any browned parts
of tho guns, It will cause tho metal
to turn white.
iHe has notified the band that all
members will bo required to attend
all drills and rehearsals in the same
manner as the other members of the
Wednesday of each week
battalion.
will be devoted entirely to indoor rehearsals., Tuesdays amd Fridays will
bo given over principally to ceremonies such as parade and review, but
may be used for rehearsals as circumstances may warrant. Mondays
and Thursdays will be devoted to outdoor drill either with or without instruments as may bo ordered.
ed, said

p

GIRLS' ISSUE OF THE
Another Model.
The following took place at the
opening military drill of the Boston
woman's military company:
Captainette:
Mrs. Jones, will you
kindly fix your hair and execute "right
face?" Mrs. Smith, I am so anxious
for you to lay aside your powder puff
and do "right shoulder arms." As
soon as you get your hat straight and
your nose powdered, Miss B., I wish
you would salute. This talking in
ranks has got to stop, etc.
What they all thought: I should be
captain. The hussy!
What they all said: If wo can't talk
we won't drill, so there!
What happened:
Drill broke up
and an informal discussion of eugenics, etc., ensued.
Safety First.
When a skeleton was brought out
for study recently at a Red Cross
mooting In tho city one of tho
aspirants for a job holding dying
heroes' heads fainted. We got It pretty straight that a sister in tho organization advised her forthwith to marry none but a fat man.
foml-nin-

e

KERNEL ANNOUNCED
The Girls' issue of the Kernel will
make its appearance two weeks from
today. Miss Eliza Piggott will be
f
and will appoint her
staff, imombers of which will bo announced next week.
Onco every year tho
are
given a chance to try their hand at
getting out tho paper, and once each
year the male contingent of the University finds out just what the gentler
sex thinks of them.
What features tho girls' issuo will
contain is being kept a secret, but
Miss Piggott confidential assured a
Kernel reporter that there would bo
enough to keop the boys up in tho air
the rest of tho year.
Tho boys who aro frequent callers
at Patt Hall and thoso who leisurely
stroll over tho campus with a fair
during chapel hour will have the
pleasure of seeing their names in
print.
Duo to tho fact that tho present staff
will got out tho Kernel tho rest of
the year, tho members of It have been
promised immunity by tho girls.
editor-in-chie-

s

co-e-

HERE AND THERE

The Old Story.
"You deceived me! Before we married you said you were well off."
"I was. I didn't know it;" Punch
Bowl.
Ain't It Warm?
"Nino hundred degrees in the
shade," salid the class fool as he held
a parasol over the sheepskins. Pell-ca-

Business Is Business.
The young doctor and his friend, the
drug clerk, were sitting at the club
window, when a richly dressed woman
passed.
"There goes the only woman I ever
loved," sighed the young M. D.
"So?" queried tho other. "Thon why
don't you marry her?"
"Can't afford it; she's my best pa-

tient."

Mule.

Why Hurry?
Bess His debts aro large, but ho
has money enougli to pay them all!
Belle Thon marry him quickly, or
ho may!

Tho
against
Tho
thon."

Victory At Any Price.
Lawyer "Tho precedents are
you, madam."
Lady "Well, suo them too,
Boston Transcript.

ORATORICAL

CONTEST TONIGHT.

Tho annual oratorical contost of tlto
Intercollegiate Prohibition Association
will bo hold in chapol at 7:30 o'clock
tonight. All students are invited to
attend.

*