The Phoenix Hotel
gives especial attention to
chummy and also sftt down at the
same table. And here is what we
gathered within the hour.
The family is the basic group. . .
Boyl But wnsn't that old girl swectl
. . Gosh
I'm sleepy. . . That's
nothing'. I didn't go to bed till one
PARTIES AND BANQUETS
. . Wish
hear from home. I'm busted flat . . .
Goin' to th' hop tomor'? . . . Got a
earful, I'll tell th' world. She snid,
. . . Read the funnies this
mornin'? Th' Gumps are good . , .
The family is the . . .
Say- - Whnt'n th' heck did you guys
run oft" for ? Th' fun . . . (And so
on and on
Finally, somebody tiptoed up, and
asked the Tongues to desist, please.
(By Norman Allen)
CONFUSED BY TONGUES
A few clnyf? uro wo went into the
library, selected n work which we hnd
decided to rend nfter bcinp told twice
to do so, and settled down for an
hour's rending. No sooner did wo
take possession of a chair, however,
than two youngsters beenme very
The family is the basic society
I left the
library; with an earful.
"What was eatin' her, anyhow?"
growled one of the Tongues, as It
left the building ahead of me. "We
weren't snyin' nothin'."
At first I was inclined to dispute
with It. But, after all, I decided, It
mathematics is correct but that she is
ungrateful, after they was kind to let
us out the
the twenty-thir"I think it's just awful that lust week's Kernel said, If any
of you sec Santa, tell him some of us
might get home for Xmas. Ain't that
he selfish modern?"
Akkie ain't half as kind nnd sweet
as I nm, she never y?. "Ikkic," (she
calls me that, beings it arouses my
angry passions) "I 'spose" she says,
"by that they mean the people whe
Mve in Lexington, or close about as
Winchester, those might get home for
(Ain't she the scratchy part of a
"Achsnh," I says in my sweetest
voice, "I love my school work enough
I can't wait to write
to stay over.
my book report on "Why the Soviet
Government Likes Red," Petropav-lovskConfess, now, you do want
to write your term paper on "Why
Your Little Toe Is So Little?"
Due to my diplomatic nature, the
storm cloud changed it course, and
in a few minutes Achsah says, "I'll
bet my bottom dollar, you'll hate getting home lat'e, since you won't have
time to fish out the presents from last
year that you don't want, and give
OF DISTINCTIVE JEWELS
Novelities of All Kinds
Jewelers and Importers
W. Main St.
Wishes you a very
Sun., Mon., Tues.,
Dec. 20, 21, 22
"Don Q, Son of Zorro"
Styled for young men
sas City, December
"Yeh." I replies. "And I notice
Somebody connected with this paper further that Hez has got the Bug."
seems to think the reporters are sec"Zel" (Oh, her sweet voice! It
We have just read would charm a snake.) "Don t you
an assignment which gave the report reckon he will even send me a Xmas
er this advice: "See Hook." Now who card ?"
might Mr. Hook be?
"Yeh, he might write you 'Merry
Christmas' on a postage stamp."
We can imagine many dads
Whereat Akkie begins suggesting
next week that "Historv rnents for my presents St. James versions 01
itself the prodigal son returns."
the Bible (only 75c), side combs, and
the like. Which wins for her the day.
OUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
(By Lucile Cook)
What's that old hymn about "Count
your Blessings, One by One?" Well,
Akkie and I spent last week-endoing that, since we had nothing elst
Bob Mitchell a graduate.
to do. The two of us had been quarDean Melcher doing the "Charlesantined for "campusitis." It was pro- ton."
nounced a very bad case. You know,
Daddy Boles in a hurry.
the book on orderly conduct for wo
"Bull Neck" Webb declaring a holmen students of the university reads iday.
something like this, "During a campus
An election without politics.
a student may not leave the university
Everybody glad to see "Bad News."
grounds. Of course, that was one
Three weeks Christma! holidays.
thing to be thankful for, to stay on
Lexington Drug devoid of loafers.
the dear beloved soil.
A Phi Delt under six feet.
The notes we received read thus:
No interest in the Centre game.
A tamed "Wildcat."
We know there was a long train
selling at a reason
going by at the end of Ljme about able price. Store
10 or 11, and that you
A "Men's Only" barber shop.
gloves and had to go in every soda
Dean Anderson without monkeys
fountain for them, but the fact reA
mains that .you arrived at the old hall
All students walking to school.
door at 11:01
This is a terrible
An entire class passing chemistry
state of affairs, and we feel we must
No cars parked on the campus.
make an example of you. Your camMiss Horsefield missing a class.
pus will begin Friday at 6 p. m. and
Entire class waiting 10 minutes fo:
cease Monday, 6 a. m.
Yours for the best,
Mrs. Server assigning an easy les-
For Your Beautiful Christmas
Gifts In Jewelry
(I see I was a little previous. She
would have the last word). So I say
"No one but a guilty party would
have thought of that. No, my fair
dame, I ain't goin' to do that. I've
take particular notice to those nice
GOOD BUSINESS SENSE
things in the party boxes that you
Why don't .you have can get at the book store for 10c per.
your shoes repaired?
Another lapse of time. No. 2.
Second stude (who is "broke"): I
"Zelda," I hears, (She's made up
thought I'd wait till I got on my feet with me).
"That's my name."
"Have vou noticed how all the boys
"The worm turns," read the Book-Worare getting mad at their regular girls,
as he turned a page.
heads wear Stetson hats
they look well and last long.
Do you wear a Stetson?
which will be held nt Kan28,
Miss Mary Hester" Cooper and L.
Two Delegates Elected To AtA. Pardue were initiated into the
tend National Convention
Both initiates graduated
from the university last June, and
At a regular meeting of the Ken- are now taking work lending to a
tucky chapter of the society of Sigma mnstor's degree.
Prof. E. N Fergus, of the College
Xi, Friday evening, Dr. O. T. Kop- pius nnd Dr. M. N. Stntes were elected of Agriculture, read nn interesting
paper on The Science of Crop Prons delegates to the annual national duction.
Sigma Xi Initiates
killed by dilute solutions of hydrogen
peroxide, nntlseptlc ffnfttlen and noeo
(CONTINUED KKOM PAGE FOUR) wnslios. These are recommended for
should be praticed. The patient should the use of the patient, nurse,
not bo allowed visitors as they may physician, and to the other
just how far "this
In the face of an should family, but
be practiced as a prophylatlc
epidemic public meetings of all kinds, measure Is questionable.
particularly of children, should bo
Inauguration of nnnunl Dad's day
It has been shown experimentally will be made this week at the Univerthat the virus of the disease may be sity of New Hampshire. Invitations
xuui nisi, enaiice l see a! picture
and at our regular price of admission.
Wed., Thurs., Fri., Sat., Dec. 23, 24, 25, 26
LEWIS STONE and SHIRLEY MASON
"What Fools Men"
CHRISTMAS PRESENT for the little
brother or sister 'back home' and for the
little one you wish to remember.
W. S. G.
Now, I ask you, wasn't that a fine
time to get out of campus? Just
think! get out of bed at 6 o'clock to
get out of campus!
'Course, we had other blessings. A
"goat" always does. Akkie says we
can at least thank W. S. G. for keeping us from mailing laundry, and sich
errands that us freshmen lick up like
a cat docs milk.
After a lapse of time (as the movies say) Akkie says she never saw a"
place celebrate Christmas like our
Alma Mater. "They believe in giving
one and all of their students presents, such nice gifts, as a quiz in
French Monday, one in history Tuesday, English Wednesday and throughout the week until the greatly talked
of twenty-seconIt don't matter
what you take, those quizzes will hit
'em all this week and the thirty hours
I tells her I ain't sure whether her
Dr. Tut-hill'Somebody appreciating
A rainy day without "slickers."
An easy course in Physics.
Plenty of room at the
A noiseless Ford.
A dance which starts on
YOU WILL ALWAYS COME BACK
Serving tea during a class.
of students in the
A speed cop who
says: "That car
won't run. I'll race you to the next
town and if I lose I'll give you ten
Someone doing the "Charleston"
A millionaire who is broke.
Emmet Milward in overalls.
Tnntnin" John Smith a Sheik.
The campus "ash" wagon without
the dirty poodle.
THAT WILL BE APPRECIATED
Buss Clamp Lamps
"THE LIGHT HOUSE"
Lime at High
the satisfaction of doing business with
All New Cars
DON'T FORGET our party favors and
TRY OUR SERVICE ONCE
We suggest you shop now
HAPPYLAND is practically a "FAIRYLAND" these days display after display
of toys that will delight the heart of any
Coming in January
CHARLIE CHAPLIN in "THE GOLD RUSH"
His First Picture in Three Years!
EM MUTT CHILES