THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

i SQUIRREL

l

FOOD

u. u. ana u. i'.

above hciroRlyphlcs, In English,
designate good girls, those who are not
so familiar; and good dates, those who
are not so particular, as seem thru eyes
of
Junior
adorning the vacuums
mechanicals.
If it is not plain and easily understood
I will gladly explain upon application in
person, at the office.
Cheer up girls! If your name is on the
The

list.

'tf'II

popular. You
have had many famous contemporaries.
Ann Boelyn and Cleopatra. King Hen
thought she was a G. D. but fell hard.
Anthony thought the Bame thing about
Cleopatra that same boy Is thinking
about you, but nevertheless he lost his
head, heart and soul, thinking he was the
Its
Vamper Instead of the Vampee.
G. D. you will be very

been done before.
Then too, the only reason your name
might be on the good girl list is because
the right boy did not happen along or
your secret passion did not turn up or he
did not go at it in the right way or was
too much of a gentleman to blab about it.
We will not publish the liBt here for
I want a few dates myself, before the
rush starts in; however a complete list
will be published in the next issue of the

Kernel.
"THE BELLES"

(Pardon us Edgar)
Hear the laughter of the Belles,
Happy 'Beues.

out to school crossing the threshold just
ns the Prof, calls the roll. Ah, how
fresh and exuberant he feels!
This felling lasts for fully fifteen
minutes and then he begins to grow
tired. His thoughts wander out across
the meadow and gambol on the green.
Then they return to the sidewalk and a
pair of fent hurrying to class trying
to get there before the bell for the
next hour. He then braces himself up
and tries diligently to listen to the lesson nnd he begins to get drowsy and to
nutter from that dull languor and inertia
which makes one look so distingue.
His brain becomes foggy and ho would
love to go to sleep, and all the while
the instructor is laboring laboriously to
teach him, little thinking that all of the
windows arc pulled down tight and that
the student is being asphyxiated, so to
speak, with foul air. Air that has a wee
bit of fresh unpolsencd oxygen In It, and
that wee bit is tucked away in somcones
pocket or in a drawer of the desk, where
a nose cannot possibly reach it.
He leaves that class, gets out in the
fresh air and gets awake again so to
speak, then right Into another room of
C02. and the performance is repeated
with variations, in the form of bawling-out- s
and failures. He takes in little of
the lesson and frequently fails at the end
of the term, because his nose knows not
and knows not that it knows not.
During the years of this Pierian en- -

'

thia

PHOENIX

HOTEL

Announces
University Class Tuesday Evening
P. M.
University Dance Saturday 830-1- 2 P. M.
Smith Sexteete
University Class Tuesday Evening

ROSENBERG BROS.
Reading from right to left is; Stesy
Peterson all by herself. So many boys
wanted her picture that we have helped her economize.
Wo are indeed very grateful to her
for helping her make our page more
artistic.
She 1b shown Were in her
bathing suit.

110 S. Limestone

Phoenix Block

Jewelry at Popular Prices
We Solicit Your Xmas Trade

lace

x
where freshmen grow wise and broke
in any number of cubic
have breathed
feet of sleeping gas. There are several
rooms that are fresh and airy and those
who ornament these places are to be
The Library invariably
complimented.
Luts me to sleep. The other morning
leatoonlmr
.
meic iiw
"
themselves around in there and away
back at the back one of the twenty
windows was lowered from the top exactly one and three quarter inches.,

r

HUGHES SCHOOL OF DANCING

What world of memment ineir uPnU..
fortells!
How they giggle, giggle, giggle
In the dancing hall at night!
While the eyes, that besprinkle
All the corners, seem to twinkle
With a suggestive delight;
TO MILAYD'S EYEBROW.
Keeping time, time, time,
(Pindar McLeigh)
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
0, who has done this evil thing to you
To the tintinnabulation that so jazzingly
And how has Beauty reached so sad a
wells.
plight?
Belles, Belles,
For the pleasure of the
You, who have ruled the fairest realm
Belles, Belles
of all
Belles, Belles, Belles
Luxuriantly, sable as the night;
giggling and the wiggling of
For the
on your
and handsome
the Belles.
snowy throne
Yourself divinity, your right divine
ENNUI
vandal wrought his senseless
shaving every morning and What
I'm tired of
wreckage here,
sorority
then having to clean the razor,
And made of you this thin and meagre
dances where the house is crowded to
line?
write-up- s
the jamming point, newspaper
How painful was your passing? Tell me
show was wonderful,
which say that the
this,
in fact the best ever seen in the city, And tell what cruel hand your fairness
Arbuckle jokes that arn't funny but
took.
merely lowbrow, rooms full of foul air, Who thought it wise to steal away your
and sticking out the
fraternity rushing
grace
glad hand, the absence of wealth and And leave you with this lean and hungry
wearing the same hat morning, noon and
look?
night, hair that is puffed out in a cheap
ears with a few
manner over the
Provide
fragile hairpins that are on the verge Many
Army Tests In Examinof taking a plunge, rain and mud, and
newspaper stories covering the front
ing New Students
page telling of murder, robbery, bankrupand
tcy, war, cutthroats, jail sentences
The matriculation lecture on Saturday,
hangings. Furthermore I'm tired of the December 3, was devoted to explaining of
shimmie and the cheek to cheek dance, the Army Alpha mental test taken by the
movies, going to Patt Hall for a "date" freshmen of the College of Arts and
then to town and back again and nothing Sciences by Dr. Miner of the Psychology
to do and no where else to go, girls who Department. In speaking of this test
cake the powder on and try to act sweet which was used in the army, Dr. Miner
and coy and lastly, boys who are always said that some idea of its significance
or doing could be judged from the fact that a
going someone one better
something that no one else can do.
2,000 page volume had been published on
the results obtained.
A MODEST PROPOSAL
Dr. Miner said that these tests were
not a recent innovation, Columbia University using them in the late nineties,
It has often been said by many a
professor that he has and that in 1908 a French psychologist
trouble in keeping the attention of the devised a system for obtaining the menstudents for an hour, that they don't tal level of individuals and developed the
show any interest in the subject and idea of mental tests. Then came the
for credits and group tests and a great many more peoseem to be workng
ple were reached in this way than by the
nothing else.
Let us invistlgate this, granting that individual tests.
The speaker said that more than 100
it is true and see if we can't point out
a suitable remedy. Let us play the part colleges use these mental tests and that
this eystem of entrance examination to
of an efficiency expert.
A Rtudent
He said
frets ud in the morning college is not being discussed.
about seven, that is if he is a freshman, that at Columbia University a Student
in a cool room and dresses in a hurry to with a good record may enter by taking
keep from freezing. He breathes a lot of the psychology test. The colleges, the
wholesome oxygen into his or her lungs, speaker said, are not the only users of
whistles a tune or combs her hair and these tests, business men having found
then goes down to breakfast, to grub the value of them. "All through life,"
said Dr. Miner, "we are tested by com
her or himself.
Then after partaking of prunes, cof paring how we compete against others
fee, toast, mush, not the same mush as ond we shall find this tests to be of great
was dispensed during hugging time the value to us." The freshmen taking this
former evening, however, but just plain test, he said, compared favorably with
3io students of other colleges and with the
sugar,
needs
which
mush
or her, (use your own pronoun) goes officers in the army.

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*