KENTUCKY

I

KERNEL

Football Goes on Trial as College
Faculties Discuss Popular Sport

FOOD

J.:

That Game Encournges Drinking, Gambling and Dishonesty; Dr. Edgar Pauver of Wesleyan
University Advocates Plan To Limit Participation of Players to One Year

Commit tee Charges

iacul-- ,

LUCILE COOK

ntSlKord what do they do but rattle
Ut the Paris pike and pass the Great
THR FOUHIDDRN CITY
White Way. 'Hout that time Akkie
In May n U. K. student's fancy askn what is that beautiful city, she
lightly turns to thoughts of .loyland, didn't know there was one like that
So her I Maka
mi past history of this here inntitu-tio- n close to Lexington.
of loarnin' teaches ns. And I'll Fire, having twice two bits in his balsay this year wnrn't no dilforcnt from loon pocket, says, "Well, we'll take
And, of course, her in."
any of the others.
Akkie'd have to ho the first person
They did I They didn't miss a thing.
out there. So'd busted if she hadn't The only trouble was that the univer-r.it- y
been. She thinks .loyland and Paraauthorities missed Akkie Then
dise arc one nnd the same.
came the tragic letter announcing that
all girls under Student Government
Honest, the old woman in the 3hoc
with hrr scads and scads of children would be enmpused for the week-en- d
didn't have half the worries I have unless the culprits what went to the
with Akkic. I don't know why I'm "Forbidden City" confessed.
so maternal toward her; she's about
And when Akkie heard that she was
twice as big as I but she sort of lacks more determined than ever not to conin gray matter, and nalnrally, I have fess, "No, sir," says she, "I ain't n
enough for two.
givin' myself nway to get n notice sayCee! I got clear off the subject. ing my sweet presence nin't needed
Oh yes, that evening Akkie had n date here any more. They can campus the
with her best beloved (the one who whole place for all I care."
has pinned her, not the other'n) and
Then I steps in, with my views of
the moon being correct, and there fairness and clean sportsmanship and
being two gallons of gas in the colleg- - says, "Akkie, you ain't a sport, and

"W3

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central interests.
Other disadvantages

include the
tendency of football a3 now carried
on to give occasion for drinking, its
encouragement of betting and its provocation
of dishonesty in vdrious

ways.

"Yes. Isn't it stirring?"
von ain't playin' fair. And what's
more if you don't tell, I will."
When
And that did the trick!
He "Mary?"
every measure known to those high in
Female voice "Yes."
authority failed, when the joy of hunHe "This is Jack. May I call todreds hung by a thread, I did the
trick and saved the day. So now, night?"
She "Sure, where do we go?"
women students of the University of
"Well, I'm busted."
He
Kentucky, I wish you would extend
She "You have the wrong number.
your thanks to Akkie for getting you
Witt.
campus, and please This is not Mary."
out of a week-en- d
don't forget Ikkie who was the man
behind the scenes.
The crimson sunset,
Enflaming sea and ships,
"Did they start you at the bottom in
Seems a feeble candle
your business?"
By my lady's lips. ,
"At the bottom the deuce! They
Chaparral.
And though rarest roses
excavated!"
For their blush you seek,
There was an accident and many
You will see it vanish
people had gathered about the wrecked
'Neath my lady's cheek.
:ar, when one drove up and cried to
hhe man lying beneath, "Say, Jim,
You marvel at such beauty,
did you have an accident?"
Yet commonly it's seen
The answer is quite simple,
"Naw, came from beneath the car,
A little gold dorine.
'the kids always wanted to see the
W. Va. Moonshine.
Aorks, so I turned the darn thing over
for them."
I'd give the world to kiss you."
Medley.
"Oh, I'll take less."
She "Are you a junior or a senior?
He "Well, I'll be sophomore next
Lampoon.
"Say is your dog clever?"
year."
"Clever, I should say so. When I
"Why don't you set a limit for say, 'are you coming or aren't you,'

he cither comes or ho doesn't."
Lampoon.

Rlin'T

ftn1trt,ont-n.-

l

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..- -.i

In-

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'"''"'

Tcnn. Mugwnmp.

rs that all?"
Ho
K1io"Vna qniinrr limn urtntnf
time, nnd any time I felt like it."
Texas Hanger.

Short Story
Liquor
Homo
Sicker
Bromo.

Wise prof "And so, studontn, we"
can come to the conclusion that noth-- l

Lord Jeff.

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Panama and
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C

PJ

Hammels
Corner of Main and Mill

Hat check girl "Aren't you going
to give me a tip ? Why the champion
tight-wa- d
of the town gives me a
lime."
Irascible old gentleman "He does ?
Well, gaze upon the new champion."

Packages

r

Whirlwind.
He "How old are you, my good
,'oman?"
Tha (demurely) "I have seen
irrhteen summers."
He "What an unhappy life you
Hogan's Alley.
nust have led."

hen comes that

am I the first man
ever held you in his arms?"
Why do men
She "Yes, of course.
ilwuys ask the same question?".
Flamingo.

Hc"Dearest,

day of days and suddenly
you know you're a Senior,

ar.

--

"Waiter, do you have corn on the
ar
"No, sir. That's a wart."

at the top of the world

Cannon Bawl,

"Am I the first girl you ever
loved ?V
"Oh, no, but you see my taste has
been immovinir riirht along."

Back in the days of Dobbin . . .
when the college sheik (then
known as the "dude") gave his
best girl a great whirl around the

have a Camel!

h.

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WHEN comes the day
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"Have you heard about the Spoon
mystery?"

h

And as a Senior you've
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For Camel shares of
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And today, when we do sixty
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. . . and good mixers are popular
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I

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IVt

Mirnn

year."

ing Is impossible."
Fresh frosh "Well, I'd like to sec
... it.t.
n
.t WI1 your
m,B
"u
lnroat nnd open it."

yourself?"
"I do, but I always get drunk before
Medley.
I reach it"

Lexington Laundry Co.
One

Immediate action hy college
lies to ohtain regulation of intercollegiate footlmll is urged, to offset the
serious disadvantages charged against
the game, in n report made in the
current Mullet in of the Americnn Association of University Professors by
a committee of which Prof, Ernest
II. Wilkins of the University of Chicago is chairman.
The committee charges that the
present game tends to distort the
sense of values of college life, that
it gives opportunity for drinking,
gambling and dishonesty, nnd that iti
tends to obscure in the public mind
the true purposes of the college. To
counteract this the report suggests
preparation of a plan before next fall
to restrict the period of performance
of the plnyers.
Adoption of either the Wesleyan
narley plan or the Pauver plan is
The
ldvocated by the committee.

parley plan provides thnt each college
schedule only four games a season.
Each game should be with a team in
its own class and in its own vicinity.
The Pauver plan was suggested by
Dr. Edgar Pauver of Wesleyan University nnd would limit participation
by students in intercollegiate footlmll to, one year.
The report concedes the ndvnntages
of football, but emphasizes the ninny
disadvantages, which it is held now
The most
result from the game.
serious disadvantage for the underbody, the committee sets
graduate
about
forth, is the
fotftball which prevails during the
football season to the detriment of the

PAGE FIVK

J

A DIXIE
THERE'S
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*