Best
T II

Two

Tnp--

The Kentucky Kernel
PiiMNhrd on Turd;iyn and Friday
Mombrr
National Collect I'rr Annotation
l,incton Hoard of Commerce
Member K. I. I A.
OfTirlnl Nrw;pnprr of the Students
of Die University of Kentiirky,

LeNtnpton

Subscription $2 00 a year. Filtered
at Lexlneton. Ky.. 1'ostoffire a.s
second chiss mail matter
SHALL THE KT'UNEL
I'RKSa ALL STUDENT
RIGHTS MAINTAIN

E

EdltoT-lti-Chl- rt

WIi.it AM AHUEKY
PANIK.I. W OOODMAN
LOVIPE

IMF rPITOUS

AS.S.M

Fr.e.K Flonr-

nniv

MnimclnR Edltnr
.Asst. Mer. Editor

Fin.

-

-

tiuiiiii-

Ii Mil!'.-

Ho

To ' nl.

Ma't

v

Hbie npiinst Its
tills wnson linvp been due In
t
measure to 'Die Shipwreck.
Willi iliis nssrrllnn we do not. intend to minimize Hie rontnhutions
of tiie oilier members of tile team
to the showini; the Cats have marie.
Too well do w e realize thai vi li ml
the reoperation of the vhole team
The Shipwreck Is as useful in (he
incident to which his name applips.
We are aware that wheniver '.he
in the stands ;i:mp to
their feet and cheer him after n
lieer-m- r.
lone pun they are In reality
the piay which was executed by
!the whole team and. nlthoue.h they
shout Kelly", their plaudits naturally tall equally upon every member
of the team who fulfilled his duty
in making the play a success
We previously have rNprev.ed the
ran dofeat
belli f thai Kentucky
n
With a
Tennessee.
.1
r
:n
i
ltrmuiui, ill ...1.1..1.
Uliiliu 01 t .1
wmwi
ineilioei 01 uie le.uii pel iui ins uic
work which nns heen nut lined tor
Ol.l.
l.i
vwu uc nl.1.
1
mm. TM ompvw ei 1. ...Ill I. gun-- iu
'
pet loose for several of those runs
which have brought him widespread
recor.nition. These runs will bring
victory a victory for which every
member of the team will bij responsible, and of which everyone may
feel Justly proud.
by die HiR

opjxi-neii-

ts

un-.i-

the Registrar's office can do this

Win

S'ml'T

A

ii M

RAl.rH

E

vernon

us

Sports Editor

.IOHNSON.
D

i

!;nc
sprrial Sports writir

hooks

WRITERS
Noib.-r-

Bill Luther
DouBtns Webb
Stanley Bncll
RrdDav
John St. .John

Cnmplidl

J D. Adams

Art Editor

JOHNNIE CR ADDOCK

SOCIETY EDITORS
ELEANOR. SMITH
EMILY HARDIN
ASSISTANT SOCIETY EDITORS
Elizabeth Hardin
Lillian Oooch
SPECIAL WRITERS

James Curtis

Derek Smythrneld
A. A

Jature Editor

DAUOHERTY

..Dramatic Editor

EUGENIE BECK
DOROTHY
LAW

Literary

TANNER

RENCE HERR.ONASSISTANT

-

Editor

News Editor

NEWS EDITORS

John Watts
Gilbert Kingsbury
Robert Baxter
Man- Alice 8a!yers
Mary Alice Salyers
REPORTERS

Mar:orie Hoagland. Robert Kearney,
Scott Q.
Carrlgan,
Ray Stark, Joan
Osborne, Robert H McOauahey, Mary
C. Terrell. Betty Watktns. Phil Ardery,
Oeorpe M. Spencer. Charlton Wallace, Virginia Pltrer, Edith Marie Bell, Burnam
Pearlman, Leonard Rowland, Mary Jo
Lafferty. Carol Ollley. Jane Hamilton, Ann
Coleman, Dorothy Bishop, Marjorle Weist.
Carl Howell, Herman Graham. Earl Car-raDorothy Smith. Madlyn Shlvely, Leon
Co2swell. Betty Dimmock..
COLEMAN R. SMITH

Evtlyn Treabess
John Good

Business Manager
Nell Dishman
Oscar Haight

ADVERTISING ST AFP
Advertising Mgr.
JAMXS MORGAN
H. P. Kirkman
J. Proctor Randol
Mary Edwards
Bliss Warren
CAMERON

COKFMAN, Circulation Manager

TIIE SHIPWRECK
KELLY LEADS CATS TO WIN
SHIPWRECK
OVER V. M. I
KELLY AND CONFIDENT BAND
OP WILDCATS ARRIVE HERE
TODAY.... U. OF K. HAS VERSATILE ATHLETE IN SHIPWRECK
KELLY.... PLAY OF BIG BLUE
IS FEATURED BY KELLY'S
LONG RUNS. ...KELLY ONLY
HOPE OF BLUE TO CONQUER
VOLS.

Thus read several of the hundreds
pf headlines which have appeared
In newspapers throughout the country regarding perhaps the greatest
backfield star Kentucky will ever
have. So widely has the outstanding ability of this athlete been recognized that a discussion of the
merit of the Big Blue football team
inevitably divides into two discussions, the other being concerned
with the ability of The Shipwreck.
It is with hesitancy that The
Kernel selects an individual, either
from the faculty or the student
body, and editorially points out his
value to this institution. In the
case of The Shipwreck, however, we
believe that all the honor, the attention, the publicity he has received he more than deserves. In
adding our voice to the thousands
of others which have been raised
in his laudation we believe that we
are but recognizing a service which
has proved of untold benefit to the
institution, and which too long hus
been perlormed without any expression of appreciation from tho:e who
are its beneficiaries.
Many persons believe that The
Shipwreck has not received the support which he should have hud from
his team mates; many others beto
lieve that he is
the detriment of the team us a
whole. The Kernel is of the opinion that no member uf the Big blue
team would ever consider the publicity or the popularity which has
been awarded The Shipwreck
giving his best lor the school
which he represents on the gridiron.
The gentleman in question is undeniably the most colourful figure
Kentucky has seen on 'he lootiall
held in many years. He is a hard,
determined, fast, flashy runner; a
vicious blocker In behalf of his feland
low backs, a decisive tackier
he is a sportsman.
We have been criticized lor havn
team at the univering a
sity, but the fact remain that the
real gains which have been made
be-fo- ie

one-ma-

!

(

...

.

work is compiled.
The first official cataloguing of
students and of faculty names and
addresses ever released to students
of the University of Kentucky was
published in 1926. At that time officials of a growing school of 2.485
marticulants doubtlessly felt the
need, and realized the convenience
of such a work. Otherwise it never
would have been issued. Because
of the approval with which that
first directory was met it has has
been republished intermittantly until recent years.
Previous to the university's 1926
edition students, as far back as 1908,
had attempted publication of a directory. At that time the desirability of such a work was already
firmly established. However, student
publications failed in the prime
requisite of a directory accuracy
and completeness and the registrar's department took over the
work.

.

.

Ohio University

Opens Class for Deaf

50-5-

moded fixtures with which our
teams are supposed to supply
winning scores. And, laboring
as they do, under these aforementioned conditions, It Is almost plausible that, if they can
do as good as they do now, they
better
should do measurably
with proper Improvements.
It Is rather hard to make high
scores, to make bull's eyes, when
light to
one hasn't sufficient
make these targets stand out
black against white; when the
targets appear blurred, which
blurring could be righted If
enough light were thrown on
them. Why can't this team receive such Improvements? None
of the conditions is exaggerated.
If anyone who is in a position
to help the team should inspect
another collegiate range, he
would find that the charges
made were rightful and Just.
The team is willing to do its
best, collectively and individually if It can get any cooperation
from university authorites. I
should like again to take this
opportunity to call this defect
to their minds. I hope that you
may see in it sufficient Justification to print It, and a trip to
the Armory will bring to light
enough facts to enable you to
make another comment in the
editorial columns of this publication.
Thoughtfully yours,
A Member of the
(Signed i
Rifle Team

ff

DEPY'S

DIARI

DAVIS, who did tell me of his
many conquests over the ladles I
did think that he and DUTCH
KRF.UTFM would be rivals for the
most popular. So to bed and wait
for the coming day.
Sunday: Up to read papers about
the game Saturday, and I did learn
that KFI.l.Y was the star again. I
did visit the sororities and saw that
the ancients on the campus pour
honey In the ears of freshmen, who
were expected to believe it. I did
sea mi. I. KP I V
MATJV .IO
but I thought that MAROARET
knew little of this. T did see nil.ME
HUnni.K with ELI .FN OOODF..
There was little for me to do and
so to bed.
Monday: Up to attend the blue
Monday classes where I did see
nianv riroopv eved people who did
remind me of DOPEY WADDLE.
I did see MARY ARMSTRONO.
LILLIAN WARREN and HUGH
ADCOCK in class. BILL LUTHER
did look well with his black eye.
I was invited to Join MINA PATE.
VIRGINIA ELIZABETH HOARD,
DOPEY WADDLE. BECKY SHELHUBBLE. HAROIS
BY. BILLIE
HUGHES, JIMMY HAYES, and JOE
HINTIN at a dinner at the dime
store and a vodvil. but NO! I had
to keep w rit in my diary and thence
to bed.
T

Friday: Up to Join my schoolmates
for a first hour which Is always
very distasteful. There I did learn
little for my mind was not there.
I did see GF.OROF. HILLF.N. with
red eyes which told a story of the
night before. I did see THORNY
HF.I.M. who I did think looked very
handsome
in his new uniform.
THORNY should linve no opposition with the ladles now. I did
learn during mv smoking periods
that PAUL PLNNEY was trying to
revive the old flame with a red
head on the campus. "T" was considered in those days as a good
college letter, but, of course "A"
was much better. I did dine friends
from whom I did learn that the
SENIOR PRESIDNT had gone on
a diet, because his lady fair demanded it. I did think that he was
verv henpecked. I did see LOUISE
McDONALD and did chat with her
for long but of course little was
learned, for she could not afford
to be bothered with the subjects of
life. I did go to open house where
I did meet many attractive young
ladles such as LOUISE POOL and
CLAUD A SEATON. Later I did
sup with friends but little was said
and I did think that the time was
wasted. I did stroll In the darkness
but it was poor sport without a
partner. So to bed.
Saturday: I did go to the DEN
of ENIQUITY, where I did see
BETTY CUNNINGHAM and MARY
JO ARMSTRONO, who looked as
if they had lost their last friend,
but I did tell them that their lovers
would return ere long. So they gave
a sigh of relief. I did think that
JUSTICE WHITE did look well
when she made her entrance. I
did see PAUL WILLIAMS, who
seemed battered, for he was much
in demand at the CHI OMEGA
open house the afternoon before.
He was known as the shiek among
his companions, the shysters. I did
attend the freshmen game In the
afternoon, where I did see JEAN,
BARNEY, and RUPERT star. In
the evening I did attend the dance
in GEORGETOWN, which had some
features that were very good. I
did return in the company of RED

Frosh Repay Hazing
Ity Kidnapping Soph
The campus of the University of
Denver was set in turmoil recently
when freshmen allegedly kidnapped Oeorge Martin, sophomore and
varsity end, in retaliation for the
severe penalties he Inflicted upon
them for violations of frosh rules.
According to the story. Martin was
lured away by Miss Raumle Hill,
pretty
of the freshman class. He was last seen on
Wednesday night last at approximately 9:15 p. m. in company with
Miss Hill. Martin was violating
training rules when he made the
date, as varsity football men are
required to be in bed at 10:00 p. m.
The kidnapping took place Just
on the eve of the team's departure
for Logan, Utah, so Martin's unexpected Journey left the team In
the lurch. If freshmen all over the
country In our various Institutions
of learning take up this idea, the
sophomores will have to change
their manners. We hope the freshmen don't read this story.
nt

Rutgers and New York University
have been playing football since
1890 when the Scarlet trounced the
Violet, 72 to 0.

course

smoke

S

I

Replying to our obvious inquiry as
to the conditions he said that the
speed depended upon how steep the
hills were.

F.ditnrial
For several weeks we have been
thinking that something is wrong!
Brief Hits on the nig Shots
with the university system of mail
3delt Mary Jo Armstrong na-- s ft delivery. We have been to our box
herself, ' twice a day since Sept. 14th and
photograph In her room of
Mary Armstrong and Dick Ricll-- , to date our total Is one blotter, one
ards. all of whom are guesomely letter mimeographed i, and two in- Kappa Annette invitations to visit the dean.
cloaked in black
Newlyn asserts that she does not beAll Work and No Play
lieve a Kappa wrote the article appearing in our column of Tuesday
That even politicians must nave
... when asked what he thought. their fun was demonstrated when
Fidelt Bill Ardery said, "Yeah, It's Jacket Vest took one of the ladles
too friendly for a Kappa ".
to Cincinnati for a show recently.
Harold Rlttcr Is leaving
"Did you en toy the show?" he was
school, will be replaced as head an- asked when he returned.
by
nouncer of the extension studios
"What show?" he also asked.
Kernelite Wes Carter. .. .Lamdaky
Surgener left school and many
Earl
friends in Lexington recently....
Kimega Kay Kennedy says of the
student elections. "I wish ONE of
the girls could have gotten In"....
a Kimega would use "gotten"
Twenty-tw- o
students suffering
Derek from varying degrees of defects In
Deltamfromthebottom
Smythefield is mad at the person hearing are registered in the visual
who signed his name to a ballott In hearing class at the Ohio univerthe 0 straw vote and Is unhap- sity. Lip reading classes were bepy today anyway.
gun at the university last year when
it was discovered through physical
Gatewood tells examinations that some students
Fidelt Jimmie
a suffered in deficiencies In hearing
questioners that he received
quintette of iron infants for each which retarded their progress.
radiocasting appearance. They InThe purpose of the course is to
evitably exclaim, "I would sing train the students to understand
anything for five bucks."
speech if something is said in the
And "So would I," Is Gatewood's classroom that they are unable to
inevitable reply.
hear. The instructor says that although she can advance no psycho'Fraidy Cat
logical reason, she has found that
On a trip to Cincy a lady and a when a question pertaining to food,
gentleman were enjoying them- money or love Is asked, not one
selves more than tremendously un-- I student misses the words. Purdue
til the gentleman discovered that Exponent.
the lady thought he craved a quiet
married life. He was so excited at
NEW FAD
the very Idea that he rode all the
way home in the rumble seat.
your watch by pipe organ
Setting
may be the next fad on the campus, for that is Just what the freshPlace
Publicize the
Strolling into a hardware store men engineers did after listening
to selections played by Dr. Abner
couple days ago we found an
gam purchasing three new garbage Kelly, which ended with ten chimes.
cans. Returning to the Deltamfrom Several freshmen were seen to take
thebottom house we asked one of their watches from their pockets
the deah brothers why the Ladies and carefully set them back to 10
with the Garden needed so many of o'clock.

arrangement.
It is almost laughable, after
one has visited ranges of other
universities, to recall the out-

Is there to be a student directory
this year? "No." say assistants to
the Registrar, in whose office the

purposes

for advertising

inm:n:!:t:tm:t:t::::n:::t:tttt:t:nu'

Theie appeared in the editorial columns ot The Kernel of
lil t year one or two ntlenipls
to convince the authorities of
the university thai, while nil
other spoits at the institution
faciliare accorded sufficient
ties to produce the highest attainable records, the conditions
under which the varsity and
ROTC rifle teams function is
little short of pathetic.
The editorials, although timeany
ly, have failed to effect
betterment of tlioso conditions.
In a short time the rifle
teams will begin practice, and
this practice will again take
place under the same deplorable conditions that have existed
for years. It seems almost
shameful that, although the expense necessary to make the
necessary corrections Is negligible when compared with the exwith other
pense connected
sports, this department cannot
have even an adequate lighting

WHY NO STUDENT
DIRECTORY?

'

IMrerl Rutin

bv Derek Smytfiefleld
Tvditor The Kernel:

Tuesday, November 17, 1931

L

F,

I,
answer,

Interrogating Fidelt Hal Murray
concerning the speed of the car
which he owns Jointly with Jo Ferguson, he told us that it was exconHI ceedingly fast under certain
ditions.

Snickers
Scandal

Communications

i

November, 1929, marked the last
appearance ol a university directory.
The listings for a proposed 1930
edition were sent to the printer at
Frankfort (the official documents
of all state institutions are relegated
to the state printing presses by Kentucky statute). Through some delay the proof sheets were returned
late. The university canceled Its
and the directory failed to
materialize.
Today, with more than 3.000 students in our eight colleges, any
preexisting need for a directory has
been greatly magnified. Nevertheless, this year there has been no
apparent move on the part of officials to supply this need. The
student directory, meritorious work
though it is, seems to be a thing of
the past.
Just why this is so is hardly clear.
Registrar's assistants have said that
the directory facilitates their work
of compiling statistics. Telephone
operators at the university are surely
benefited by it; for students and
the faculty members not having
access to exchange manuels find
the proper call numbers in the di
rectory. Listing names In alphabetical order, faculty titles, students' classifications, addresses, and
telephone numbers, it affords a
handy reference guide.
The only presentuble reason for
discontinuing
the publication of
these catalogues is the cost. In the
past the university has distributed
its directories free of charge among
students and the staff personnel.
Naturally in a distribution system
of this type there has been much
a
waste some persons securing
number of the books; others, none.
In a time of depression the university, like all other stale Institutions, must cut down on operating
expenses.
If this is the reason, must students of the university be deprived
of such a social and business convenience as the student director?
Is there not some way in which
this need may be supplied?
The obsolete method of tree distribution offers a solution in itself.
By placing a small purclnio
price
on the directories the university
would automatically eliminate both
the expense to the state and the
waste of the catalogues. Or, il the
university does nut care to do this,
some progressive campus organization might herein And a task both
remunerative and praiseworthy.
Such a plan has been found suitable In other universities, why not
here? Although the students themof
selves have proved Incapable
compiling a presentable directory,

KERN

Y

njneers

I

ion

super-huma-

a

KNTUCK

j:::i:!:::tnn::;t:::!:n::u;::;::n!u:

work accurately
The Registrar lias expressed willingness to pather the proper statistics. All that is necessary Is the
roopei at ion of some campus

11

EDITORS
Mfirvm

ASSISTANT

K

K

LucEdes

they're kind to my throat

$

Literary
iS

,r.

CADET QUAESTIO
Oh, what beauty 'tis to me!
What more could I see
Than greatness yellowed by age
Be it man or printed page.

"Of course I smoke
thought everybody did.
They're kind to my throat you
don't hear them in the microphone.

Luckies

See the triumph on his face,
And the ever pleasing grace,
When the hero takes off glasses.
Viewing listeners as Jackasses.

I

ls Miss Claire's
Statement Paid
For?

And that's a very neat little
handle on your new Cello

You may

phane wrapper."

Films of tears spread o'er the eye
As the Joy would make him die.
For he has fixed to his notion.
Words of heroes and devotion.

oimok.rof

,

,?

is inspiring to behold
His restatement of what's told;
Clothing truth as it should be
'Tis so barren from you or me!

f

.

x'l

,

4

Goldwyn and Unitod
Artiltt, bar producart,
at har andortamant of
IUCKIES it toyouond tout.

Ina Claire wain't content with being
on oeknow'0,9ec' ru'er of the American
TE
stage now she's capturing Hollywood,
j1 tool Here the is in one of those stunning
Chanel creations she wears In Samuel
Goldwyn's production. "The Greeks
Had A Word For It," a United
Si Artists' picture. Don't miss that picture.

Made of the finest tobaccos The
STRIKE
Cream of many
alone offers the throat protection of the
exclusive "TOASTING" Process which
the use of modern Ultra Violet Rays
the process that expels certain harsh,
biting irritants naturally present in every
tobacco leaf. These expelled irritants
are not present in your LUCKY STRIKE.
"They're out so fhey can't be in" No wonder
LUCKIES are always kind to your throat.
Crops-LUC-

-

Every dog hus his day." Some
of the pledges have no Saturday
classes.

...

The weekly simile:
as a sorority house
night.

As deserted

on

Sunday

And old man Bad Luck must
have forgotten that the Wildcats1
played a football game last weekend.
Famous Last Lines: I don't cart
if this U a friend of yours. Freshman; If you break again....!

KY

in-elu-

Jest Among Us

been
By the way the weather's
lately, the weather man must have
forgotten to turn off the "Sum- -'
mer" faucet.

bn

j

Many a pang of life he's bore.
So have we, and many more
That any fact, howe'er uncouth,
But spoken by him is Infinite truth!
CHARLOTTE ETHEL UREL.

des

MOISTURE-PROO-

It's toasted

Your Throot

Protection-ogoln- st

Irrltotlori

If

ogolntt couflh

F

CELLOPHANE

IHiWW

it

Staled

Tfiit-EV-

er

The Unique Humidor

Right

Package

ZipAnd It's opent

See the new notched tab on the top
of the package. Hold down on half
with your thumb. Tear off the other half. Simple.
Quick. Zlpl That's all. Unlquel Wrapped in
moisture-proo- f,
germ-proCellophane.
could be more
Clean, protected, neat, FRESH
modern than LUCKIES' Improved Humidorpackage
-- o easy to open I Ladies-t- he
LUCKY TAB
dust-pro-

And

Moisture-Proo- f

In

IUCKY STRIKE

j",

"Answer this if you are able!"
And he steps beside the table;
All this while all else ignoring
But to be supremely boring.

t-

Intaraitea1

cigarettes for S yon. Wo
hop th publicity hone
withgivonwill b at bono
flcial to bar and to Samuol

It

Down he puts them far below
For 'tis he that Is the show
While others thoughts are but mere
grating,
All his words are elevating.

b.

knowing that not on cant
wot paid to Miu Claire
to malt lh abovo ttat.
imhI. Miu Clair hat

Cellophane Keeps

of

that "Toatted" Flavor Ever Freh

TUNE IN ON LUCK YSTWJCEjoO muxUrm mituuu wUhtkt world ' fmtm i
rclmtu, and Wuiur Wlncfxli, wAow fowip laduy bmrmmn Iha nan

what

a

Is-y- our

finger nail protection.

of,

*