Homer's Duff stuff Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get. Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine- making course and forgot how to drive? on, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building...thingie... where our beds and TV... is. Okay, brain. You don’t like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer. “Do Re Mi Drink" by Homer J. Simpson Do ..... the stuff...that buys me beer... Ray ..... the guy who sells me beer... Me ..... the guy who drinks the beer, Far ..... a long way to get beer... So ..... I'll have another beer... La ..... I'll have another beer" Tea ..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer... That will bring us back to... (Looks in to an empty glass) D'OH! Cheers! Can I draw you a beer Norm? No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one. What's new Normie? Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer. What's going on Mr. Peterson? A flashing sign in my gut that says "Insert beer here." What'll it be Normie? Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer 8 a snorkel. What’s going on Mr. Peterson? The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody. A beer is better than a woman... I. You don’t have to wine and dine a beer. 2. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. 3. If you pour a beer right, you always get good head. 4. A peer always goes down easy. 5. You can share a beer with your friends. 6. A beer is always wet. 7. Beer never says no. 8. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath. 9. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a been to. When beer goes flat you toss it out. -source: www.laughnet.net Kentucky Kernel VOL. 18104 ISSUE 18156 ESTABLISHED IN 1892 INDEPENDENT SINCE 1971 News tips! Call: 2574915 or write: kernelOpop.itky.edu l Juy 22, 1999 EL Jill Gorin NEWS EDITOR UK students know alcohol is not allowed in classrooms. laboratories. offices. residence halls. or fraternity and sorority houses. However. alcohol is permitted on campus in the Boone Faculty Center. King Alumni House. married stit- dent housing. and now the new luxu- ry boxes at Commonwealth Stadium. Is this fair? Some students are questioning possible double stan» dards in UK alcohol policies and the recent emphasis on a “dry campus." “They need to have tougher re» strictions." said Sumit Singh, com- puter science graduate student. "Ei- ther somebody is being blind or very greedy.“ UK‘s alcohol policy states that “The University desires to provide an environment where alcohol con- sumption by underage students is neither encouraged nor made avail- able and. further. to promote alcohol education and counseling pro- grams.“ It further states that “Alcoholic beverages are not permitted in class- rooms. laboratories. offices. other buildings where the public has ac- cess. and all outdoor areas of the campus." When it comes to alcohol consumption on campus, is it do as I say, not as I do? Exceptions are allowed to this rule. The first exception is the Boone Faculty Center. located on Rose Street. The alcohol policy states that alcohol sales are allowed because ”the University of Kentucky Faculty Club. Inc. and Spindletop Hall. Inc. are private corporations which lease property from the University and which hold valid alcoholic: beverage licenses." Spindeltop Hall is located on Ironworks Road. and has banquet facilities. swimming pool. tennis courts and other recreational areas. “Professors and teachers are, supposed to be our guides." said Mukund Chandak. computer science graduate student. "Allowing them to drink is promoting student drinking as well." However. some students can drink at the Boone Faculty (‘enter (only faculty and alumni can join the members-only facility). “Students of legal age are per- mitted to be guests at the faculty club and drink." said David Stock- ham. assistant dean of students . “I‘m pretty sure a fraternity had a date party there once and drank. but they were very carefully controlled." The UK alcohol policy also makes an exception. and allows alco- hol in “graduate student apartments and houses. married student hous- ing. and non-student residential housing. provided such use does not violate any law or University regu- lation." Students over 21 years old cannot have alcohol in other resi- dence halls. "The assumption is people in married student housing are of legal age." Stockham said. “Alcohol there is permitted. but it must be done within the law.“ Debra Ross. the apartment housing. said it has not been an issue. “I had kind of known it was in the policy." she said. “but since I‘ve been here. we have not had a prob lem." Another exception is a private event held on university property. such as the King Alumni House on Rose Street. The policy allows a Chancellor or Vice President to grant a request to serve alcohol in any building on campus. Yet. private events at fraterni~ ties and sororities now must be alco- hol free. with no exceptions. which was a policy implemented last year. The newest alcohol exccption in- volves Commonwealth Stadium. Alcoholic beverages could be present in luxury boxes at I‘K foot» ball games. even though the l'k’ ztlt‘or manager of A review of the local bar scene l2 BRIAN RICHARDSON j KERNFL Sim Bob Morehouse. a library science graduate student, serves alcohol at the Hilary J Boone Faculty Center to faculty, staff and guests. Walk 'n' Talk hol policy >151?“\ "Alcoholic lievot' Students voice their opinions on the dry campus policy Two words come to mind..preposterous and double- standard.” — Sumit Singh, computer science graduate Society is discriminating against young people and using safety as an excuse.” - Leif Sanders, Russian studies junior I don’t think they have a right to regulate drinking on campus." — Megan Hendricks, psychology junior ages are not pcritiitted at l'iiivcrsity Student of Kentucky Illlli"lll' events." AICOIIOI “l.u\.tiry' boxes are leased." said Violations (‘.M. Newton. I'R’ athletic director. “The leascr has the opt ion offurnish- and ArreSts ing the alcohol “ (Entire year) “We do not pt-rinit alcohol into the stadium." thyton \1llll.“7lll(l we W have people at l'\l 1.1Ii' to make Alcohol sure it doesn't lliljijit'll Intoxication "(Buti the Stillt-s .trc an cxcep 1997 19” tion to the rule." be said 82 62 So. the questions are being W raised about tlicsc exceptions to Driving Under the l‘lx"s alcohol policy influence “They (owners of Emory l)ti\'t'.\) I”? 1990 have a lot of cash.” Singh s'tid 26 35 “'l'licre‘rtyiust too many double stan- W ' dards." - Nikki Holmes. clinical Iaborato :gzggfsllzndeénzalgirl): rv science junior. said "if they're go- I”? D” ing to take it (alcohol) away. they 106 71 should take it away for everybody." The UK alcohol policy can be ‘Statistics found at wwyyukyedu Stir obtained from UK dentAffairs Greek alcohol him. Police Department Also. visit kykernelconi. and use a search for "alcohol policy” to find earlier stories on this issui- LYm'wdung cheerleaders hone skills Universal Cheerleaders Association sponsors cheerleading camp on campus; students and instructors enjoy process By Pat Clem EDITOR lN Clllil’ On. on. U of K. we are right for the fight today. begins the official UK fight song. Moral support is an integral part of any sports team‘s success plan. which ex- plains the notion of a home-field advan- tage. But who leads the fans in this sup- port and who provides it when the team does have to play on foreign turf? Cheer- leaders. that‘s who. and the better the cheerleaders. the better the support. The Universal Cheerleaders Associa- tion is holding a cheerleading camp on campus in the hopes of producing these ‘better‘ cheerleaders. The camp is instruct- ed by cheerleading veterans. including some UK cheerleaders. and is attended by squads ranging from elementary school to high school. The number one goal of camp is to im- prove on their talent. build confidence. and to improve their group unity. becom- ing one instead of 12." said Christa Grizzle. the Kentucky territory manager for UCA and the director of the camp. "We are the The Student Newspaper at the University of Kentucky, only company that L’K hosts. (they) have a great respect for us. they provide us with what we need to help the kids." Cheerleaders travel from all around the state and country to attend I'K‘s camp. partly due to the success of (Rs cheer leading squad. who have Wllll nine nation» al championships. including the last five in a row. and been runners-up four times. in the last 15 years. "UK having such a reputable tchccr» leading) squad. and UK basketball makes this camp appealing." Grizzle said. “We‘ve brought in 1800 kids this summer. more than any other UK camp." Yet for a camp to be successful. the cheerleaders have to leave with some feel- ing of improvement and accomplishment. which most do. "We have really learned a lot. a lot of teamwork things. how to get along better. sportsmanship. and most of all to have fun with it." said Danielle Fogle. a senior var» sity‘ cheerleader at North Ilardin High school. “It's about the whole squad and what you can put in to it to make it great.“ The students are not the only winners though. “it's just so rewarding to see the im- provement frotn when they get here." said (‘assie Napier. a UK varsity cheerleader and marketing sophomore. ”You feel like they really accomplished something. you can see the sense of satisfaction in their eyes." The cheerleading camps will “fight on" through Saturday. July 24th. Lexingtn .......... v .. .. a..- V.. was“...