Homer's
Duff stuff

Son, when you
participate in
sporting events, it's
not whether you win
or lose... it's how
drunk you get.

Homer: But every time I
learn something new,
it pushes out
something old!
Remember that time
I took a home wine-
making course and
forgot how to drive?

on, Lisa, you and your
stories: Bart's a
vampire, beer kills
brain cells. Now let's
go back to that...
building...thingie...
where our beds and
TV... is.

Okay, brain. You don’t
like me, and I don't
like you, but let's get
through this thing
and then I can
continue killing you
with beer.

“Do Re Mi Drink" by
Homer J. Simpson

Do ..... the stuff...that
buys me beer...

Ray ..... the guy who sells
me beer...

Me ..... the guy who
drinks the beer,

Far ..... a long way to get
beer...

So ..... I'll have another
beer...

La ..... I'll have another
beer"

Tea ..... no thanks, I'm
drinking beer...

That will bring us back
to...

(Looks in to an empty
glass)

D'OH!

Cheers!

Can I draw you a beer
Norm?

No, I know what they
look like. Just pour
me one.

What's new Normie?

Terrorists, Sam. They've
taken over my
stomach and they're
demanding beer.

What's going on Mr.
Peterson?

A flashing sign in my gut
that says "Insert
beer here."

What'll it be Normie?

Just the usual Coach. I'll
have a froth of beer
8 a snorkel.

What’s going on Mr.
Peterson?

The question is what's
going in Mr.
Peterson? A beer
please, Woody.

A beer is
better than
a woman...

I. You don’t have to wine
and dine a beer.

2. A beer doesn't get
jealous when you
grab another beer.

3. If you pour a beer
right, you always get
good head.

4. A peer always goes
down easy.

5. You can share a beer
with your friends.

6. A beer is always wet.

7. Beer never says no.

8. A beer won't get
upset if you come
home with beer on
your breath.

9. When you go to a bar,
you know you can
always pick up a
been

to. When beer goes flat
you toss it out.
-source:
www.laughnet.net

Kentucky
Kernel

VOL. 18104 ISSUE 18156

ESTABLISHED IN 1892
INDEPENDENT SINCE 1971

News tips!
Call: 2574915 or write:
kernelOpop.itky.edu

l

 

Juy 22, 1999

EL Jill Gorin
NEWS EDITOR

UK students know alcohol is not
allowed in classrooms. laboratories.
offices. residence halls. or fraternity
and sorority houses.

However. alcohol is permitted on
campus in the Boone Faculty Center.
King Alumni House. married stit-
dent housing. and now the new luxu-
ry boxes at Commonwealth Stadium.

Is this fair? Some students are
questioning possible double stan»
dards in UK alcohol policies and the
recent emphasis on a “dry campus."

“They need to have tougher re»
strictions." said Sumit Singh, com-
puter science graduate student. "Ei-
ther somebody is being blind or very
greedy.“

UK‘s alcohol policy states that
“The University desires to provide
an environment where alcohol con-
sumption by underage students is
neither encouraged nor made avail-
able and. further. to promote alcohol
education and counseling pro-
grams.“

It further states that “Alcoholic
beverages are not permitted in class-
rooms. laboratories. offices. other
buildings where the public has ac-
cess. and all outdoor areas of the
campus."

 

    

When it comes to alcohol consumption on
campus, is it do as I say, not as I do?

Exceptions are allowed to this
rule.

The first exception is the Boone
Faculty Center. located on Rose
Street. The alcohol policy states that
alcohol sales are allowed because
”the University of Kentucky Faculty
Club. Inc. and Spindletop Hall. Inc.
are private corporations which lease
property from the University and
which hold valid alcoholic: beverage
licenses." Spindeltop Hall is located
on Ironworks Road. and has banquet
facilities. swimming pool. tennis
courts and other recreational areas.

“Professors and teachers are,
supposed to be our guides." said
Mukund Chandak. computer science
graduate student. "Allowing them to
drink is promoting student drinking
as well."

However. some students can
drink at the Boone Faculty (‘enter
(only faculty and alumni can join the
members-only facility).

“Students of legal age are per-
mitted to be guests at the faculty
club and drink." said David Stock-
ham. assistant dean of students .
“I‘m pretty sure a fraternity had a
date party there once and drank. but
they were very carefully controlled."

The UK alcohol policy also
makes an exception. and allows alco-
hol in “graduate student apartments

and houses. married student hous-
ing. and non-student residential
housing. provided such use does not
violate any law or University regu-
lation." Students over 21 years old
cannot have alcohol in other resi-
dence halls.

"The assumption is people in
married student housing are of legal
age." Stockham said. “Alcohol there
is permitted. but it must be done
within the law.“

Debra Ross. the
apartment housing. said it has not
been an issue.

“I had kind of known it was in
the policy." she said. “but since I‘ve
been here. we have not had a prob
lem."

Another exception is a private
event held on university property.
such as the King Alumni House on
Rose Street. The policy allows a
Chancellor or Vice President to
grant a request to serve alcohol in
any building on campus.

Yet. private events at fraterni~
ties and sororities now must be alco-
hol free. with no exceptions. which
was a policy implemented last year.

The newest alcohol exccption in-
volves Commonwealth Stadium.

Alcoholic beverages could be
present in luxury boxes at I‘K foot»
ball games. even though the l'k’ ztlt‘or

 

manager of

A review
of the
local bar

scene l2

 

 

BRIAN RICHARDSON j KERNFL Sim

Bob Morehouse. a library science graduate student, serves alcohol at
the Hilary J Boone Faculty Center to faculty, staff and guests.

Walk 'n' Talk

 

 

hol policy >151?“\ "Alcoholic lievot'

Students voice their
opinions on the
dry campus policy

 

Two words come to
mind..preposterous
and double-

standard.”

— Sumit Singh, computer science

graduate

Society is
discriminating
against young

people and using
safety as an excuse.”

- Leif Sanders, Russian studies junior

I don’t think they
have a right to
regulate drinking

on campus."

— Megan Hendricks, psychology junior

ages are not pcritiitted at l'iiivcrsity Student
of Kentucky Illlli"lll' events." AICOIIOI
“l.u\.tiry' boxes are leased." said Violations
(‘.M. Newton. I'R’ athletic director.
“The leascr has the opt ion offurnish- and ArreSts
ing the alcohol “ (Entire year)
“We do not pt-rinit alcohol into
the stadium." thyton \1llll.“7lll(l we W
have people at l'\l 1.1Ii' to make Alcohol
sure it doesn't lliljijit'll Intoxication
"(Buti the Stillt-s .trc an cxcep 1997 19”
tion to the rule." be said 82 62
So. the questions are being W
raised about tlicsc exceptions to Driving Under the
l‘lx"s alcohol policy influence
“They (owners of Emory l)ti\'t'.\) I”? 1990
have a lot of cash.” Singh s'tid 26 35
“'l'licre‘rtyiust too many double stan- W '
dards." -
Nikki Holmes. clinical Iaborato :gzggfsllzndeénzalgirl):
rv science junior. said "if they're go- I”? D”
ing to take it (alcohol) away. they 106 71
should take it away for everybody."
The UK alcohol policy can be ‘Statistics
found at wwyyukyedu Stir obtained from UK
dentAffairs Greek alcohol him. Police Department

Also. visit kykernelconi. and use a
search for "alcohol policy” to find
earlier stories on this issui-

LYm'wdung cheerleaders hone skills

 

Universal Cheerleaders Association sponsors cheerleading
camp on campus; students and instructors enjoy process

By Pat Clem
EDITOR lN Clllil’

 

On. on. U of K. we are right for the
fight today. begins the official UK fight
song. Moral support is an integral part of
any sports team‘s success plan. which ex-
plains the notion of a home-field advan-
tage. But who leads the fans in this sup-
port and who provides it when the team
does have to play on foreign turf? Cheer-
leaders. that‘s who. and the better the
cheerleaders. the better the support.

     

The Universal Cheerleaders Associa-
tion is holding a cheerleading camp on
campus in the hopes of producing these
‘better‘ cheerleaders. The camp is instruct-
ed by cheerleading veterans. including
some UK cheerleaders. and is attended by
squads ranging from elementary school to
high school.

The number one goal of camp is to im-
prove on their talent. build confidence.
and to improve their group unity. becom-
ing one instead of 12." said Christa Grizzle.
the Kentucky territory manager for UCA
and the director of the camp. "We are the

The Student Newspaper

at the University of Kentucky,

only company that L’K hosts. (they) have a
great respect for us. they provide us with
what we need to help the kids."

Cheerleaders travel from all around
the state and country to attend I'K‘s camp.
partly due to the success of (Rs cheer
leading squad. who have Wllll nine nation»
al championships. including the last five
in a row. and been runners-up four times.
in the last 15 years.

"UK having such a reputable tchccr»
leading) squad. and UK basketball makes
this camp appealing." Grizzle said. “We‘ve
brought in 1800 kids this summer. more
than any other UK camp."

Yet for a camp to be successful. the
cheerleaders have to leave with some feel-
ing of improvement and accomplishment.
which most do.

"We have really learned a lot. a lot of
teamwork things. how to get along better.
sportsmanship. and most of all to have fun
with it." said Danielle Fogle. a senior var»
sity‘ cheerleader at North Ilardin High
school. “It's about the whole squad and
what you can put in to it to make it great.“

The students are not the only winners
though.

“it's just so rewarding to see the im-
provement frotn when they get here." said
(‘assie Napier. a UK varsity cheerleader
and marketing sophomore. ”You feel like
they really accomplished something. you
can see the sense of satisfaction in their
eyes."

The cheerleading camps will “fight
on" through Saturday. July 24th.

 

Lexingtn

 

  

 

 

 

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