xt712j68406c https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt712j68406c/data/mets.xml University of Kentucky Fayette County, Kentucky The Kentucky Kernel 19550311  newspapers sn89058402 English  Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, March 11, 1955 text The Kentucky Kernel, March 11, 1955 1955 2013 true xt712j68406c section xt712j68406c National College YWCA Director To Visit Campus
By BETTY

Before going abroad. Miss Irrti) was secretary to the National
Student Council of the YWCA In the New Uncland Kcglon. In 130
she was director of the World' YWCA Iradrr'hip Tr. initiif Council
In Id at Coppef. nr.tr Genca. Switzerland.

JO MARTIN

Miss Edith Lerrigo of New York City, natljnal Erector of the College and University Division of the YWCA will
on campus Tuesday.

Wednesday, and Thursday.
"Christian Students Throughout the World" will be the topic of the
address which she will give at the regular YWCA-YMCmeeting at 7
p.m. 1
ay In the Student Union Lounge.

'

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Miss Lerrijo ha also had wide rsyerlcnre .1 a
worker and
as dirrrtor of oung people's .MtUitlr for the lla p! t t Church. Mie Is
now a member of the (dinning committee for the
national
convention to he held in New York C ity in April 1'i.VY
I

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Miss Lerrito will hold several conferences and discussions with University and YWCA officials and individual committees of the YWCA
while on 'campus.

Y('

Born in luthU. Mas.. Miss I,rriH.o obtained a II A. decree In Sociology anil Krhgion from B.ites Coll ne and a M A. degree In HcIikIou
Education from Teachers College--. Columbia University. New York City.

She has teen associated in YWCA worlrfor more than 10 years.
Prior to her present position, she served as National Student YWCA
Secretary for the Pacific Southwest Region, comprised of California.
Arizona, Nevada and Hawaii.

Miss I,errigo'.s visit is connected with the local Association's
of the one huvdredth anniversary of the YWCA.

From 1944 to 1947 she was an advisor to the Student, YWCA In
China. She assumed her new executive post in September 1954.

cele-brati-

on

The three-fol- d
centennial observance is emphasizing redcdicatlnu
of the 3.000.000 members to the Christian purpose of the YWCA. Increasing membership, and raising a centennial fund for strengthening
the work of the association.

EDITH LERRIC.O

SGA Affirms

Vol. XLVI

University of Kentucky, Lexington, Ky., Friday, Mar. 11, 1935

No. 20

Free Press

The Student Government Association passed a motion Monday night reaffirming tlie federal and state constitutional guarantees of a free press.
The motion was made after Kernel editor Honnie llutler
spoke to the assembly on individual and group freedoms on tho
.student level.
Both SfiA President Charles
Palmer and Butler said, when the
1
motion vat made, that there
no need for it. since the United
States Constitution and the Kentucky Constitution adequately protect the various freedoms.
However. SGA liepresentatives
r and' Bill Billifer asked
Don
for a motion to "reaffirm" the
guarantees already provided by
constitutional and statutory law.
In brief, the motion puts SO A
on record as standing opposed to
No restrictions will be placed this censorship or control of any stuyear on the type of music per- dent publication so long as the
mitted in the annual
freedoms and privileges established
1
Sing, scheduled for March
by law arc not abused.
1utler had told the assembly
Sponsored by Phi Beta and Phi th:.
.hnlllH ho wnrv nf mitudp
JMu Alpha, professional music fra- - infh,pm.t,s whicn michl trv to use
ternitics; Omicron Delta Kappa. SGA to CPn.S()r (,r control the
senior men's honorary: and Mor- - Kentucky Kernel.
'
tar Board, senior women's honor- Palmer xa;d. durin
President
at-thP nffntr ulll not inHnrlp n
dance afterward, as has been pre- discussion of 1the motion. "It was
suggested, or wan asked, if SfiA
viously announced.
The men's nreliminaries will be thought it proper that SftA takr
miiimi!
held Wednesday, March 30. the some action."
T"i
irmmiiiinni if nT
ii ir
nm
mi iiiimm
iimnui
Dean of Men Leslie L. Martin
women's preliminaries on Thursmade the suggestion to Palmer
day, March 31, and the finals on
Surprise! Surprise!
several weeks ago. Palmer pointed
Saturday night, April 2.
d
And what a surprise a '55
blue Cadillac,
cans Frenchy DeMoisey and Cary Spicer; ''Ilerky
Emphasis will be placed this out that no direct Implication of
given to Coach Adolph Rupp on his Silver Anniver- Rupp; Mrs. Rupp; Coach Adolph Rupp; and All- - year on the quality of the per- control or censorship was made.
sary at the University of Kentucky. Shown admir- Americans Wah-Wa- h
Jones and Jack Parkinson.
formance rather than the selec- He said the dean had only asked
Ing the car (from left) are: former UK
like to
tion appropriate to a given topic. if SGA mightsomething. see if it
wanted to do
Any active member of Phi Ileta
Hutler, however, maintained that
or Phi Mu Alpha may assist the
groups in selecting music, train- such a suggestion might br ining, or assisting a' director, rehears- dicative of a desire to keep the
ing the group, or accompanying Kernel 'from commenting on or
criticizing University policies.
them.
Before the motion was passed,
soFive fraternities and nine
rorities so far have entered this Butler told the assembly that ceryear's event. They are Kappa tain officials at the University
Sigma. Sigma Nu. Pi Kappa Alpha. looked for "distortion" in misspelDelta Tau Delta, and Phi Sigma led words and minor inaccuracies.
He told SGA that "one official
Kappa, fraternities.
Alpha Gamma Delta. Chi Omega recently called the Kernel the
Kappa Kappa .Gamma. Kappa worst newspaper in the state. I
By GEORGE KOPER
The usually astute Rupp was caught completely nltn
Tnu Alnha. Delta Del a was glad to hear that, because.
the first time they admitted it
unaware by the events that took place after his Delta. Delta Zeta. Alphi Xi Oelta.
Kfrnol Spurts Editor '
was a newspaper."
Wildcats had blasted Tennessee, sewing up their and Alpha Delta Pi. sororities.
!" Most of the support for tne m- -i
ICth SEC title in the process.
A lot of surprises can crop up in 25 years in
tion came from Kep. Felkrr and
Fo:mer lettermen lrom all over the country asthe coaching profession, but it'll probably be
Coach,
Ken Harris, both of whom said!
sembled to help honor the
won-lo'they were now siding with the
whose teams have compiled a fabulous' 496-8- 2
25. more before Coach Adolph Hupp has one
HadrriOlOJJV Mend
Kernel although they have. In. the
record during his tenure.
equal to last Saturday night's celebration.
past, disagreed with Its editorial
As Athletic Director Bernie Shively introduced Atlt'Ilds (.OllfrreilCt
comments.
the former players, each man greeted Rupp. For
Rupp was completing 25 years at the helm of the
Butler, after the motion wm
many of them it was the first meeting with their
Dr. Morris Scherago. head of the
power. And he ended
nation's perennial basketball
Bacteriology Department, will at- - passed, said the most loyal sup-te"coach since completing their careers as Wildcats.
up his Silver Anniversary year in much the same
a meeting bf the Ohio Valley porters of the University were the
Former manager Humzey Yessin stole the show
fashion as he started at Kentucky in 1930 a
newspapermen who had received
with a vivid description of Rupp's halftime oratory. Allergy SJociety this weekend.
their training at UK with free- dom of responsibility.
The motion, as passed by SOA,
reads as follows:
Re-development
"Whereas, It Is recognised that
the personal guarantees of freedom Included in the constitution
of the I'nited States and the Commonwealth of Kentucky extend U
members of the student body of the
student body of the University f
of Shawneetown, married students' housing projA
A Student Government As- that appropriate action would be Kentucky, and whereas It is rrcog- taken. The next Board of Trustees niied that student publications at
ect, is under consideration by the University Board of Trustees.
sociation petition for smoking meeting is scheduled in April.
Lexington architect Thomas Edwards submitted a proposed site
the University of Kentucky erm
SGA began investigating the more than mere training programs
plan-layoprivileges in the foyer of the
at the February meeting of the Board.
The plan calls for the construction of apartment buildings, con- Margaret I. King Library wiW possibility of student smoking in for concerned students, but are
the library foyer late last spring. recognized as Instruments of the
taining a total of 180 Individual apartments. The one- - and
free press, and as such possess th
Dr. Lawrence S. Thompson.-directobe used to aexommodate married staff member and bo taken up at the next Hoard
apartments would
of libraries, told SGA com- right of free comment and rrill- married students under the proposal.
President
of Trustees meeting,
of Coopers-towbe It resolved that the
mitteemen during investigations rhm
The University last year approved a
married students' housing project. Work is expected II. L. Donovan stated in a let- that there could be no smoking assembly of the Student Govern
the other
the University
ment Association
to start on Cooperstown construction this summer.
ter to SGA' officials this week. anywhere in the libraryofexcept in of Kentucky standofopposed to conbuilding project calls for the razing of the
a Board
offices because
certain
The 2. million dollar
Dr. Donovan a.sknouledged re- of Trustees ruling.
trol andor censorship of said pubCooperstown structures, and the construction on the same area of 13
on fraternity row. ceipt of the petition from Student
lications so long as the aforemodtin apartment buildings patterned alter the units
building program is being financed through a Government's Library Smoking The committee Has revived by the mentioned privilege Is not legally
Money for th giant
abused."
Committee and informed the yroup fall Assembly.
bond issue.

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Campus
Sing Plans
Announced

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With Blue Cadillac

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Plans Smoking In Library
Under Consideration To Be Discussed

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* THK KENTUCKY KKKNKL. Friday, March 11. 10rr,

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Cleaning His Rifle

Academic training didn't end in
June for UI graduate Jim
Sohenk, pictured on the rifht,
as he spent part of the past summer as a member of the Marine
Corps Platoon Leaders Class in
training at Quantico, Va. Jim, a

point of'fleaning: the barrel with his toothbrush.

Quantico Is Training Place
For 10 UR Upper classmen
Training ground for leaders to at least 10 UK
that's what the word "Quantico" means.
The name for 60.000 sprawling
acres of Virginia hills and woods,
Quantico is 30 miles south of
Washington, D. C. It's the home
of the research and development
center ol amphibious warfare tac- tics and it's also the place where
the Marine Corps Platoon Leaders
Class (PLC) trains every summer.
. Ten Kentucky students found
about the PLC and Quantico
last summer. They spent six weeks

Text Books
School Supplies

Engineer's Supplies
AT

KENNEDY
BOOK STORE
405

S. LIME
ACROSS FROM SUB

during;
througrh

the
Meld

STUDENTS!

Kentucky Marines

Ronald Eversole, II K sophomore, is sern cleaning his rifle after a
morninff in the field during: the Marine Corps' officer training: program in the summer of '54. Ron, who was stationed at Quantico,
Va,, looks as if he is taking; the project rather, seriously, even to the

60c

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to

STORE Tfc""T
HOURS Saturday

3

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Wtdnotday

Thursdays

WASHED AND DRIED

WASHED ONLY

commerce graduate and a former
member of the football team, is
seen above with two other
taking a compass reading in locating targets on an
operational map.
Ken-tuckla-

upperclass-inen- ,

The Management Recommends For Your Convenience
And Fridays As Students' Wash Days.
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running:

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training:,

Open Every Monday Night Til 9 p.m.

lectures, and weapons firing:.
Physically and mentally, they
were being groomed by the Marine
Corps for commissions as second
lieutenants upon graduation from

college.

ONE HOUR

The ten are Anthony Chiccino,
William Daugherty, John Hog;g:,
Cari McGuire, and William Val-oieau, all class of '55; Jerry Beatty,
Howard Schnellenberjfer, and John
T. Mhson, '5b, and Ronald Lver- sole and Peter Schrider, both '57.
They Joined the PLC while at
UK and agreed to take part in two
ensummer vacation
campments, followed by three years
of active duty as a reserve officer
upon graduation.
At Quantico they Joined with
3.000 other men.
representing
nearly 600 colleges and universities
throughout the country.
The men entered the Platoon
Leaders Class by applying to the
Marine Officer Procurement Officer, Room 242. Post Office Building. 5th and Main Streets, Cincinut

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conventional,
unconventional,
and nuclear
powered aircraft offer exceptional opportunities for Engineering Graduates.

.J

1

If it was impossible for us to meet you on our
recent visit to your campus, please send us your
resume. Prompt, personal attention will be

given your reply.
Address all correspondence to M. L. Taylor
CONVAIR, Engineering Personnel Dept. Z
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Governor Receives Award

Mary Ann iruflagc, junior heme economics major
and secretary of the Kentucky Association of
Clubs is shown presenting Gov. Lawrence Wether- by with the
Club Alumni Achievement Award.
4--

4--

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The rresentation took place in a ceremony held at
Frankfort last Friday. Each year four such awards
are presented to former Kentucky
Club
numbers.

II

4-- 11

II

Governor Wetherby Is Awarded
4-Club Achievement Plaque

MMfAvf

'

Dartfoot Uoy With Check," tie.)

H

Mary Ann Huflage, junior in the Kentucky Association of
home economics and secretary of Clubs, presented Gov. Lawrence
Wetherby with the
Club
Alumni Achievement award in a
ceremony held at Frankfort last
PINKSTON'S
Friday.
C3ov. Wetherby is one of four
WATCH SHOP
former Kentucky
Club members to receive the annual achieveFine Wotches
ment award. Three other winners
Watch Repairing
were presented with awards at the
ELGIN
BULOVA
Farm and Home Convention in
GRUEN
February.
PARKER FOUNTAIN PENS
In connection with the award
Gifts For
presentation, J. R. Whitehouse,
Ladies and Men
state leader of H Club work,
is
pointed out that March
130 N. Limestone, Phone
being observed at National H
Next door to Chop Suey
Club week.
Lexington, Ky.
Sixty-on- e
per cent of the stu
4--

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2-5-

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4--

SCIENCE MADE SIMPLE: NO. 2

dents enrolled In the College of

H

Though this column is intended solely as a vehicle for
Agriculture and Home Economics
drollery, the makers of Philip Morris have agreed to
have been or are now
Club
members.
let me use this spuce from time to time for a short lesson in
Whitehouse said that more than science. They are the most decent and obliging of men, tho
26 per cent of the entire UK student body has had background in makers of Philip Morris, as one would guess from sampling
the former Junior Agriculture Club. their product. Only from bounteous hearts could come such a
pleasurable cigarette so felicitously blended, so gratifying to
the taste, so soothing to the psyche. And, as though bringing;
Proctor-Gambl- e
you the most agreeable cigarette on the market were not enough,
the makers of Philip Morris have enclosed their wares in tho
Snap-Ope- n
Pack, an ingeniously contrived wrapping that yieKU
Interviews for UK students up its treasure without loss of time or cuticle. And, finally,
interested in vocational careers this paragon of cigarettes, wrapped in the paragon of packages,
with Proctor and Gamble will be
or regular, as your taste dictates. Who
held Wednesday in the College of can be had in king-siz- e
Commerce and Thursday in the can resist such a winning combination? Not I.
College of Education.
A few weeks ago in this column we had a brief lesson in chemistry. Today we take up another attractive science -- medicine.
Medicine was invented in 10G6 by a Greek named Hippocrates.
He soon attracted around him a group of devoted disciples whom
he called "doctors". The reason he called them "doctors" wjih
that they sat around a dock all day. Some fished, some just
dozed in the noonday sm. In truth, there was little else for them
to do, because disease was not invented until 1492.
After that doctors became very busy, but, it must be reported,
their knowledge of medicine was lamentably meagre. They
knew only one treatment-- a change of climate. For example, a
French doctor would send all his patients to Switzerland; a
Swiss doctor, on the other hand, would send all his patients t
well-temper- ed

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France. Fy 1781) the entire population of France was lhing in
Switzerland, and vice versa. This later became known as thu
Black Tom Explosion.
Not until 11)21 did medicine, as we know it, come into being.
an
In that year in the little Bavarian village of Pago-Pag- o
elderly physician named Winko Sigafoos discovered the hot
water bottle. He was. of course, burned as a witch, but his son
Lydia, disguised as a linotype, smuggled the hot water bottle
out of the country. He called on Florence Nightingale in Londori
but was told by her housekeeper, with some asperity, that Miss
Nightingale had died in PJ1U. Lydia muttered something and,
disguised as a feather boa, made his way to America, where he
invented the blood stream.
Medicine, as it is taught at your very own college, can be divided
roughly into two classifications. There is internal medicine,
which is the treatment of internes, and external medicine, which
is the treatment of externes.
Diseases also fair into two broad categories-chron- ic
and
acute. Chronic disease, is of course, inflammation of the chron,
which can be mighty painful, believe you me! Last summer my
cousin Haskell was stricken with a chron attack while out pick
ing up tinfoil, and it was months before the wretched boy could
straighten up. In fact, even after he was cured, Haskell continued to walk around bent over double. This went on for some
weeks before Dr. Caligari, the lovable old country practitioner
who treats Haskell, discovered that Haskell had his pants buttoned to his vest.
Two years ago Haskell had Addison's disease. (Addison,
curiously enough, had Haskell's.) Poor Haskell catches everything that comes along. Lovable old Dr. Caligari once said' to
him, "Son, I guess you are what they call a natural born catcher."
"The joke is on you, Doc," replied Haskell. "I am a third
baseman." He thereupon fell into such a fit of giggling that the
doctor had to put him under sedation, where he is to this day.
'
But I digress. We were discussing medicine. I have now told
you all I can j.. the rest is up to you. Go over to your medical
school and poke around. Bring popcorn and watch an operation.
Fiddle with the
machines. Contribute to the bone bank
. . . And, remember, medicine can be fun!
X-r-

ay

The tnakert of I'll I ill MOIlltlS, uho bring you thit flumn, hurt
uurtril their flavorful lobucco$ to bring you the mott ptra$urubl
miokf ohtuinubtr.

* LITTLE

by

MAN ON CAMFUS

Dick Bibter

A Free Press Is Reaffirmed
The freedoms guaranteed by the United
States Constitution and the Kentucky Constitution extend to the student level, according to a motion passed by the Student Government Association Monday night.
The assembly passed a motion reaffirming
freedom of the press on the student level.
By so doing, SGA upheld the theory that a
student newspaper or any other University
publication has full freedom of the press so
long as the privileges established by law are
not abused.
The motion passed by the student lx)dy
reaffirmed the legal right of the press to comment and criticize freely. The motion, as
passed by the assembly, opposed any move
to censor or control either the Kernel or any
other publication.
Realistically, the motion was a vote of confidence. While it struck no resounding blow
for a free press, it did uphold the principles
by which the American press has been given
the right to comment freely on government
and on administration ol government.
More important, the motion established
sibility'--

drietH(6

ofien'irt-glecTec-

on the

l

student level.
The assembly, in passing the motion, recognized the principle that gives any person
the right to freely criticize or comment on
government, on administration, or on any
person who acts in an official role.
SGA reaffirmed the principle that we, press

and individual alike, are legallv entitled to

comment or to criticize so long as we do so
within the law. The law, in brief, maintains
that comment and criticism is not legally
actionable when it is for the public good,
when it is fair, if it is true, and if it sticks to
issues and policies rather than personalities.
Equally as important, the motion reaffirmed the first article of the Rill of Rights
and the 14th amendment to the United States
Constitution, an amendment which orders
that no state deprive any citizen of any freedom without due process of law an amendment which makes sneak attacks on freedom
vulnerable.
SGA, in passing the motion, established the
policy of refusing to let external influences
use that body to gain control of any freedom,
freedom of the press in particular. The motion was not passed as a gesture of contempt
or opposition to any man or any group of
men at the University. - It was passed to reaffirm certain rights which never should be
questioned, much less threatened.
-- We wrte pleased to note that much of the
support for the motion came from people
iV.Uofchave, at various "times, found "their be
liefs in opposition to the beliefs of tin's new
paper.
The fact that these students recomtized the
urizent need for freedom of expression for
all free men brings to mind words attributed
to Voltaire by one of his biographers. Paraphrased, those words were that, while we
(every citizen) may disagree with what o;i
'say, we will defend to the death r.ur right

J

'

"Los see I got 'IXCOMPLETfi' in Math 215, 'WITHDRAWN' in
L'nglish II, 'CONDITIONAL' in social studies, and a D' in I'hys.
ed. Man, thank goodness I didn't flunk anything this term."

s-

to sav it.

On The Reef
"Cosito ergo sum," I screamed.
"Soda or water?" she asked.
I knew I was in trouble the
I hate smart alecs, so I knocked .
minute the .45 caliber slu? chewed her unconscious with my ebony-billythrouah my head.
E'.'.r. so. I flicked my cigarette
Never cou!d understand why they
nonchalantly, wiped my. brains cut call billies billies. Johnnies sound
ju-ci mv eves, and rauntered up
as fjood.
her.
Anyway, I thought to myself,
"Ok. l.a'rv. (Iron t!;at iit tie
this is the situation. I a:n Kittin;;
in a roo:M with a thn rJp,rl.
I .sla;:ped her in tlt
nmsr wiih foiir-oyc- d
i;irl. She b. admitted-kiliipq- :
mv e!(i;,v ii.lv ind wondered at
my trothcr. i'.r.i ilie has.
:
t!:c firr.i.iess of her tetlh.
'asked n:e..?io' what?" When hc nunc to I noticed she
M :ri:v.l Xcgan to fi..g. so I l.t
v. .is
(.td ioohin;:. A'c ut
another jrlfr.
By W.

Pv.

SIOAFCS

--

Student Insurance Suggested
(Jan the University of Kentucky sponsor a

voluntary insurance program for the students? And, if it can, would theie be any
benefit in having such a group isiiranee
plan?

contacted for consent.
(.ui the University of Kentucky, .is a state
institution, foster a uroup insurance plan
sponsored by any particular insurance com'
pany?

These questions were raised in SGA Monday night by the appearance of two representatives of an insurance company. Their
object in appearing before the assembly was
to outline a group insurance program, to
cover accidents or sickness, and to ask the assembly to look into the desirability of the
plan.

The representatives also said that the UK
Infirmary woidd decide if outside medical
aid were needed. Before any group insurance plan is approved, assuming that the
University can or will adopt it, SGA should
determine how much medical aid. will be
given by the Infirmary in case of sickness or
accident, depending on the type of policy.

The arguments given for such a plan were
good. Group insurance,' so the representaless
tive said, would 'cost about
than an individual policy. Furthermore, their
plan would cover hospitalization, surgeons
fees, and other incidentals to sickness .or accidents.
No examination would be required to purchase the. proposed policy, and the student
sickwould be insured against
ness, if a sickness policy were purchased.
Policies could be purchased to cover one sepolicy, the
mester or a ear. A
representative said, would insure the student
at home as well as at school and would be
valid even if a student transferred to another-schoo- l.

It would be senseless to take out insurance
for something the Infirmary is capable of
taking care of or will decide to take care of
in case of sickness or accident.

The representatives told SGA their compolipany could afTord to sell
cies to students because of the profit which
would result from volume. One figure given
at the meeting was from $5 to $6 a semester
for one type of policy.

Entered at the Post Office at Lexington, Kentucky, as
second class matter under the Art of March 3, 1879.
Published weekly during school except holidaya
and exams.
$1.00 per semester
SUBSCRIPTION RATES

one-fourt-

h'

pre-existin- g

12-mon-

Mysteries on this earth are a dime a dozen.
r
For instance, there are the
courses
which require frequent examinations, term
papers, and an exhausting required reading
list and less credit than more reasonable
courses.
two-hou-

th

low-premiu- m

This plan, naturally,
appealing to those
students who can't afford to pay for high
premium insurance policies. There are drawbacks, however, which should be thoroughly
investigated before SGA decides to go along
is

with the proposal.
In the first place, the representatives said
their program would have to be approved by
the University, after which parents of the individuals-wishing
to buy. a policy would be

The Kentucky Kernel
University of Kentucky

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Advertising Tom WUborn. busjnes manager; John
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fie-!oo-tv- o.

--

blue eyes, tiue hair . . .
Looking Lack at the .sentence
a nice lu ink.
to wonder 'hbw a
above, I bc-raShe .snarled at me. drawing her mind could be fogged up.
hps u; over hor shattered teeth,
I crushed my reefer out on her
.1 noticed she had been using forehead. She protected mildly
Ipana.
scream of
with a
"Well, Buster, pure agony.
.......
what do you
As my nerves did the rnambo,
want not that I wondered how agony could .be
you're likely to classified as pure. I decided it
get it."
couldn't and crushed out another
Looking back, reefer just to be more accurate in
I noticed that my grammar.
n

;

blood-curdli-

ng

.

this sentence
seemed to need
a

question

mark,

but I
didn't care. I
couldn't get my
mind off that glorious shape.
' Look, baby," I hissed, "I think
you killed my brother."
She began to laugh, slowly at
first, then gradually picked up
speed until she was arrested by
a traffic cop.
I looked back at this sentence,
slowly puffing on my reefer, and
noticed that the logic was all
snafud, or however you spell that
past tense of snafu.
"Yeah," she laughed, "yeah."
"Yeah what?"
. "Yeah, I killed your mangy
brother. So what?"
I had to admire her calm reasoning, because, when I stopped to
think of it, I couldn't answer her
"so what?"
"I can't answer your so what
riyht now. I gotta think."
While I was thinking, I lit up
another reefer. I like reefers, especially when I'm trjing to think
of a good answer to a so what.
She began smiling ;U me and
crossed her legs.
Ordinarily, I don't care about a
gnl crossing her legs, but this
dame had three of them.
Say, I'll bet you'd make a dandy
roller skater."
She kicked me in the teeth with
her third foot. That hurt. So I
knocked her spinning across the
room. Then I sat back, puffed on
my reefer and thought of an answer to her so what.
Winn she came to, she was
cowed. I can tell. She had that
n
duii't
look in her
eyes all four of them.
I was beginning to think something was unusual about this girl.
Three legs and four ees. That
made seven, and seven is my
lucky number. I sat back and lit
another mild, relaxing reefer.
This is the situation, I thought,
deciding to pull a Descartes and
begin with the premise that everything was real because I existed.
knock-me-dow-

.

.

This time she screamed in adulterated agony.
She raised her arms to iier
head in pain. I noticed it immediately.
She did not shave her armpits.
Then it came to me, in a flash
a hot one, at that.
"You killed my brother!!!" (I
like three exclamation points. Adds
emphasis.) .
so what?"
"Yeah,
When I told her, she screamed
in unpure, adulterated horror, all
four eyes bulging as her twisted
mind collapsed under my flawless

logic.

I don't have a brother.
Smiling smugly, I walked away
from the typewriter and lit another reefer.

Holy Terror
The elongated holes by one of
the sidewalks leading away from
the library arc not marked by
smudge pots or lanterns at nights.
These . ditches cannot be seen
easily, and steps should be taken
to mark them safely. It would be
a heck of a letdown to have spent
four years heer and then to wind
up in a ditch some dark night. G

Book Believers
We get a kick out of the guys
who think they can use textbook
psychology to maneuver people
around. In spite of every advanceme