xt71ns0kwd6c https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt71ns0kwd6c/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 1997-04-09 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, April 09, 1997 text The Kentucky Kernel, April 09, 1997 1997 1997-04-09 2020 true xt71ns0kwd6c section xt71ns0kwd6c  










"E“ K” " TM Country singerjefl‘

fitrure. See Diversions, page 2.

WEATHHI Mostly sunny
today, high 43. [Mostly clear
tonight, low 25. Partly sunny

tomorrow, high 5 3.

discusses his hopes and dreams for the



April 9, 1997

0 Classifieds 7 Campus U
[N Crosszz‘ord 7 Sports 4

Diversions 2 Vinapoint 6





Parking space
- now available

By Cara Fodder:

Contributing Writer

The new UK parkin structure
has students and facu ty hoping
for a change in campus parking.

Three hundred students will no
longer be able to use the excuse “I
couldn’t find a place to park”
when they stumble into class 10
minutes late.

One thousand spaces are avail—
able in the new parking structure
on Limestone; there are 600
employee spaces, 300 student
spaces and 100 spaces allotted for

Although the original comple—
tion date was December 1996, the
)lan to improve campus parking

iegan four years ago.

The parking and transportation
committee, consisting of students,
faculty and staff, proposed to hire
a professional consulting firm to
give advice on UK parking facili~

“The parking structure will
have a tremendous impact on
campus life," said Director of
Parking and Transportation Don
Thornton. “It not only accommo—
dates 300 students right off the
bat, but former employee spots
will now be available for com-
muter or residential students.”

Some students who purchased
()5 parking permits this year pre-
viously parked in the K and Vir-
ginia Avenue lots.

Half of the students had no
prior permitsThe parking and
transportation office is pleased
with the com letion of the park-
ing structure Iriecause of the prob—
lematic library construction. The
construction site, which con-
sumed what used to be known as
Clifton Circle, destroyed an abun—
dance of employee and student

Some students are concerned

with the employee-to-student
ratio of parking spaces.

“1 wish students were 'ven
more spaces,” said senior usan
LaVelle, “but it is a positive addi-
tion to the campus because it will
free up other parking (spaces) on
the streets.”

Thornton said the parking
structure will begin with this divi-
sion between students and

“This time next year it may be
600 students and 300 emplo 'ees,”
said Thornton. “First we’l have
to see how the spaces are used.”

The structure is located close
to Central Campus, which gives
visitors convenient parking to take
advantage of the facilities at UK

The skywalk over South Lime-
stone provides pedestrians who
park in the structure a way to
cross the street safely while avoid—
ing traffic. An additional way to










“ . . Charles Wethin an ar 71 hr) and
, Th?“ 5”“th are the parking other administraihrs ((uft theliihhon
industries verSion of the ATM opening the new 1,000,”, parking
machine,” said Thornton. arage on Limestone Street.

“the“ entering the garage, flight, Darlene MarLin, computer
employees and ‘students With an systems operator at the parking 01],}?
“[2, “PG" or “[3” P355 must 5V“? drives a Ford [Mustang into the
the” hang tags throu h t e parking garage becoming thefirst
entrance meter to raise t e. gate. person ,0 use the new parking mm.
1 he same procedure. applies to ture, which Director ofParking and
exxtingthe garage. ViSitors must Transportation Don Thornton says
take a "Cket from the meter P9X to will become the trend of new par/ring
enter. When leavmg, the ViSitors structures around the mm"),- ‘
must go to a station on the floor '
where they have arked and pay
their fee at t e ATM—style
machine. The visitor’s parking
pass then will be validated, giving
the driver about 15 minutes to
reach the garage exit and swipe
the pass through the meter box.

The cost for visitor parking will
be $1 per hour or $6 per da .

Student spaces are avai able at
junior, senior or graduate level
status and sold for $1 12 for a year.

avoid traffic in the fparking struc-
ture is the “pay-by- oot” station.





KGGIIBlaIIll Hall's Gllt phone lines repaired

Students handle downed
phone line problems

By Brandy Carter
Staff Whiter

The four-day phone line


“Repairmen had to reconnect all the wires, and in
some cases, the wires and the cables had to be
replaced, which is why repairs took so long.”

Resident advisers in Keeneland Hall think a resi-

dent cut the phone lines.

breakdown in
Keeneland Hall ended yesterday as repairmen fin—
ished fixing the residents’ phone lines.

The Communications Office filed a report with
the UK Police on Sunday about the vandalized
phone lines. The police are investigating.

“Someone cut all the phone lines with wire cut-
ters, and there is now no question that it was an act
of vandals," said Allen Ricman, director of auxiliary

“The person who cut the lines would have to be a
resident since the phone lines were in a box that
wasn’t obvious-looking and it would have taken
about 10 minutes to cut the lines so the person

Keeneland since he has to be in the lobby waiting for
me just so I can check in,” Bostwick said.

Being unable to reach family was the worst incon—
venience of the ordeal for some students.
“I had to use the pay phone at 'l‘aco licll


looking for,” said RA Katrina Con-
ley, an arts administration junior.
“Because of the location of the

stairs leading to the basement on
the far sides of the lobby, RAs have

would have to know what they were

to talk to my family," said Tina llembree, an
anthropology sophomore.

The imposed three-minute time limit on
the lobby telephone was an added annoyance
for residents.

difficulty monitoring who comes Ihad to we the “Pretty much I used the lobby phone With
and goes, b1" students are expected ’1 everyone else, which sucked with the time
to check in at the front desk" COD' payp one at limit," said Jared Morse, a telecommunica-
ley said. Taco Bell to tions freshman.
Students had made other talk t? my Some students' phones were repaired over
arrangements in the past few days family.” the weekend.
to contact friends. 7 “My phone was working Sunday, so l bad
“There has been a really long flm "MINING friends coming over to use it," said Tisha
line to use the desk phone in Blazer 47“me Bentley, an English senior.
Hall the paSt few days With resi- sophomore In the past, Kceneland Hall suffered other

dents from Keeneland coming over
to use our phone,” said Heather


phone problems such as phones that would



Bostwick, a psychology freshman.
“It has really been hard to see my boyfriend in

suddenly cut out.
However, those problems were not caused by


oaoemaker of LA. riots to speak about religion


mm 1. K Rev. Cecil Murray will speak
roman-ow at 8pm. in Memorial Hall.

By Gary Wull though not

Associate News Editor


worked to improve co

When the Los Angeles riots broke
out after the Rodney King verdict
was released, Rev. Cecil Murray and
his parishioners stood between 150
rock throwers and 25 police officers.

Although the event occurred more
than four years ago, Murray has
become a prominent 5 re in voicing
the concerns of Sou Central Los

Murray will brin his message of
social change to e UK campus
tomorrow at 8 .m. when he speaks
inMemorial H l.

more of one,” Wyatt said

in the 2 lst centu
be done to meet

Angeles, he has

Nicknamed “The Peacemaker,"

known, was very vocal during the Los
Angeles riots and has continuously

South Central Los Angeles.
“Although, he is not a household

name now, he is becoming more and

During his speech, Murray will
discuss the challenges religion faces
and what needs to
as: challenges.
As a minister for the First African
Methodist Episcoggl Church of Los
en working the
front lines of the problems that
plague America's inner cities, as well
as im roving race relations, a prob-

Craig1Dylan Wyatt. CODRmponry lem at many UK students and fac-
affairs c air of the Student Activiu'es ulty can relate to.

Board, said he asked MhmY ‘0 speak “Even though what has happened
because of his progressive thought in Lexington is not to the some

degree as L.A., perhaps there are

nationally some things he can tell the Lexington
community, some things to elp
them,“ Wyatt said.
I992, “The Humanist”
described Murray this wa : “It is safe
to say that, in this age of at Robert—
sons, Jer Falwells andjim Bakkers
. Working 2'): personal profit or naked
political clout, Murray is one Chris-
tian whose social activism and princi-
ples stand in stark and welcome

Wyatt described Murray as a
“down-twearth” man. He added that
Murray puts things in perspective for
the common man.

Murray first became nationally
prominent when the First AME
Church was recognized by former
President George Bush in I990 as
the 177th “Point of Light.”

Admission to hear Murray’s
speech is free, but space is limited.


nditions in In



‘Pint Party' nits
omnlox Commons today

The final blood drive on campus for the
semester will take place today and tomorrow.

Sigma Nu social fraternity, Kappa Alpha Theta
social sorority and the Freshman Representative
(louncil are sponsoring the 1997 Pint Party with
the Central Kentucky Blood Center in the Kir—
wan-Blantling Complex Commons from noon
through 9 p.m. both days.

Blood donations can also be made at the blood
center at 350 Waller Ave.

All donors receive a free a free T-shirt and ift
bag and will be entered in a drawing for a portaTile
(ll) player.

,i\ competition will be held between fraternities
and sororities to see who has the highest percent—
age ofdonors.

Donors must be 17 or older, weigh at least 100
pounds and be in good general health.

“UK students have a major impact on our com—
munities’ health care systems,” (.‘KBC
spokeswoman Sally Baker said. “Thousands of
lives across central (and) eastern Kentucky have
been saved because of this annual event."

Residence Halls SIIIISII'IHI Iiuaal'

Blanding Ill and several residence halls are
sponsoring the “Blanding Bazaar” this afternoon
in the Blanding Courtyard.

Tie-dye, face painting, karaoke and balloons
add to the carnival theme. Free po corn, cotton
candy and drinks will be provided. 'lll‘ie event lasts
from 4 pm. until 8 pm.


TIII'III' unto mu trial in mu

LOS ANGELES —— The 41-year-old son of
Ike and Tina Turner was ordered to stand trial on
charges that he used someone else's credit card to
buy orange juice and condom from a drug store.

Ricky Turner was arrested March 20 outside
the store in Los Angeles and charged with com-
mercial burglary and credit card fraud.

If convicted, he faces a maximum sentence of
seven years in prison.

Compiled fin mjfi Inn reports.


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-—o-—v-o.r.. '.-.~—..-"—‘

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2 Webmday, April 9, 1997. roam-i, Knml





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Seeks American/Internati

for Fall '97 and Spring ’98 Executive Offices:


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Application forms can be picked up
Room 203 Bradley Hall

Nomination Deadline: Friday, April 11 at 3:00pm
(Elections follow at 4:00pm) '

For further info call
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Carolyn 257—4067 ext.237


onal Students

icity Chair.)







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Country singer
poised tor lame

Garth pupil
makes debut

By Susan Ward
Staff Writer

At 29, )eff Wood, the new kid
in country music, is pursuing his
dream instead ofa law career.

An Oklahoma native, Wood
left law school at Oklahoma State
University just before his last year
to pursue his career as a country
music singer. I spoke with him
recently, while he was out touring
to promote his
debut album,
Between the Earth
and the Stars.

Q:' What made
you decide to pursue
your career as a per-
former rather than a

Jeff Wood: It was
more of an innate
thing, almost. I had
to do it. I really felt my calling was
in music even before I started
law school. I think I was just too
scared to go chasing my dream
because it was such a risk. But I
got into my last year of law school
and I said, “IfI don't do it now, I’ll
never do it,” and I just took off.

Q: You called Garth Brooks when
you first went to Nashville. How did
you get to know him?

JW: Actually the first time I
met Garth was when I was a junior
in hi h school and he worked for
Oklahoma State University. He
would travel around the state of
Oklahoma with a performing ban-
quet. He was the entertainment
and they would try to recruit kids
to go to school there. He and a
group came to my small town.
And I‘ll never forget, he stated
playing, and I told my mom, who
went to the banquet with me,
‘Man, I’ve got the weirdest feeling
about this guy. I think he’s some-
body special.’ And it wasn’t neces-


Jell Wood

sarily that he had a great voice or
could play the guitar well. It’s just
the way he handled himself. So
afterward I went up and intro-
duced myself to him and we
became acquaintances . and
exchan ed numbers. When I went
up to klahoma State and started
school there, he was actually in
graduate school. We used to go
see him play at the Holiday Inn
and frat parties and all that. When
it came time to graduate, my heart
was tellin me, ‘I want to become
a singer.’ o I thought, ‘You might
as well call your contacts.’ I pic ed
up the hone and called Garth in
Nashvi le.

Q: When you first moved to

Nashville, you weren’t a songwriter.

But, now, you’ve to-

written five of the I 0

songs on ‘Between the

Earth and the Stars.’

What has the process

of betoming a son -

__| writer been like fir

JW: I’ve always
been a songwriter.
(But) I have never

considered myself one. It’s really
intimidating, especially going to
Nashville because that’s where the
eatest son titers in the world
Eire. I’m earning slowly to
become a better songwriter every
day, and it’s really startin to
become a passion for me. T at’s
really how I got my break, I co-
wrote a song that was a No. I hit
forjohn Michael Montgomery.

Q: I’ve read about how much you
love perfbnning. What exactly do you
like so much about it?

JW: I’ve just done it my whole
life. To me, it’s a goal: once you
get up there, to be able to connect
with our audience, whether its 10
peo e or 10,000. And every time I
per orm, I’ve found that I m usu-
ally able to connect. There’s no
better feeling than that: than to be
able to share your music and make
people happ or all different emo—
tions through your music.

Q: You ’re out on the road right
now. that is that like and are you

enjoying it?


I’k'nln tutu: 57,1

800nm Twenty—eightyear-old ()klamhoma notiz’efiff ll 'oml .vingr ofhn
ambitious dream: on his debut album ‘ch'een the Earth and Starr. ’

]\V: I’m having the time ofmy
life. It’s exhausting. It’s a lot more
work than I ever dreamed it was

onna be. I’m gonna be away from
Eome for a couple of months
straight before I go back and sleep
in my own bed. I’m doing some
shows with Deanna Carter and
\Vynonna and LeAnn Rimes,
which is really cool.

Q: What isyourfavorite song on
‘Between the Earth and the Starr’
and why?

JVV: Probably “You Call That a
Mountain” — the first cut. That’s
what I want to be about as an
artist. I really don’t want to do dit-
ties and hokey country songs. I
want to do songs with meaning,
more songs like james Taylor

gone country.
Q: lVbt’rt’ do you .\‘t’r' yomirrlf m

fire years?

IVV: A lot of country artists
today. their dream was just to have
a shot to cut an album and to
enjoy a little fame, I really feel it’s
my calling to be involved in music
for the rest ofmy life. And I’m not
looking at short-tcnn goals I real—
ly don’t think about I‘intcrtaincr of
the Year or anything like that. I’d
be lying if I said I don’t think
about it, but those aren’t my ulti—
mate goals.

My ultimate goal is to make an
impact, and have an impact with
my music for a long time. So, I
hope to be doing what I’m doing
now 15 years from now.





'I’ln~ (nmpus ('nlcndnr is .1 tree service which appears in the Monday edition ol the l\(~ntu< lo tunnel. All registered organi/ations wishing to publish mcctings, lccturcs,

spot inl vu-nts and sporting cvcnts, must have all inloimntion to Student .-\( Initivs room 303 or (all 257-8867 one, week prior to publitntion.


-UK Saxophone Quartet at Mega-

Sax: Miles Osland, director.
8:00pm, Singletary Ctr, Recital
Hall; FREE
-SAB Cinema Committee Meeting,
4:00pm, SAB Board Rm, 203
Student Ctr
A.A.- it works!, Every Wed,
5:00pm, Rm 4 Newman Ctr.
Golden Key Meeting for new and
old members, 7:30pm, 245
Student Ctr; Electing 1997/98
-UK Career Ctr Workshop: "Writing
Resumes 8r Cover Letters,”
1 1:00am, 20] Mathews Bldg; 257-
Center for Computational
Sciences Seminar: John Kyle,
'l‘lew Silicon Graphics
Technology} 3:50pm, 327 McVey
Hall; Reception @ 3:00pm
-Allddo Club, 8:00-9z30pm,
Alumni Gym Loft; 269—4305
-UK Men’s Tennis vs. Vanderbilt.
2:30pm; Hashvllle, Tl‘l
'Japanese-American Business
Opportunity Day, sponsored by
the Carol Martin Gatton College
of Bus. & Econ. and the UK
Career Ctr, I 1:00am-2:00pm, B
a E first floor Atrium; FREE and
for all majors
-Last day for candldates for a May
degree to schedule a final exami-
natlon In The Graduate School

llll lKSl)/\Y I’l/ I 0

Student Public Interest Law

Found-don play: 'Inherlt The
WInd,‘ by Jerome Lawrence at
Robert E. Lee, 5:00pm, Law Bldg



"*"MW '

Courtroom, $4
-UK Theatre: Blithe Spirit,
8:00pm, Fine Arts Bldg, Guignol
Theatre: $l0, $8.50 8t $7
Choral Concert: UK Men’s 8:
Women's Choruses, 8:00pm,
Singletnvv ('tr Recital Hall; FREE
Baptist Student Union Devotion
&’ lunch l$l all you can eat),
l2:l5pm, 429 Columbia Ave; 257-
-UK Wesley Foundation Thursday
Night Dinner 8: Praise, 6:00—
7:l5pm, 508 Columbia Ave, $2;
254 025 1
Christian Student Fellowship
Thursday Night Live Meeting,
7:00pm, 502 Columbia Ave; 235-
Campus Crusade for Christ
Weekly Meeting, 7:50pm, Student
Ctr Worshnm Theater
-UK Lambda Meeting, 7:30pm,
251 Student Ctr; 244-3344
fellowship of Christian
Athletes Weekly Meeting,
9:00pm, Christian Student
Fellowship Bldg, 502 Colombia
Ave; 266-2946
Donovan Forum: ”The
Transformation of the AARP,’
Nelda Barnett, 4:00—5:00pm, 250
Student Ctr
-SAB Contempoary Affairs pre-
sents a night with the Rev. Dr.
Cecil ”Chip" Murray and the cur-
rent state of religion In America.
8:00pm, Memorlal Hall; 257-8867
fencing Club, 8:00pm, Alumni
Gym Loft; 257—3812
-UK Women's Tennis vs.
Tennessee, l2:00pm; Lexington,


'Jewlsh Student
Organlzatlon/fllllel Foundation
Dinner at the Dorm, 5:30pm,
Donovan Hall Oak Room; 255-

8548, All are welcome!
FRIDAY 4/ l l


Deadline for applying for admls
sion to a program in The Graduate
School for the 1997 Summer
Sessions. Applications for readmis-
sion, post-baccalaureate status,
and visiting student status will be
accepted after the deadline

Gallery Series presents 'Music
for String Quartet,” UK School of
Music, 12:00pm, Peal Gallery,
King Library North; FREE
-UK Theatre: Blithe Spirit,
8:00pm, Fine Arts Bldg, Guignol
Theatre; $10, $8.50 at $7
Student Public Interest Law
Foundation play: 'Inherlt The
Wind,” by Jerome Lawrence at
Robert E. Lee, 8:00pm, Law Bldg
Courtroom, $4
Lexington Philharmonic
Orchestra: Lexington Singers,
8:00pm, Slngletary Ctr, Concert
Hall, Previews at 7:15pm, $26,
$23, $20, $15, FREE for first 120
UK Students at ticket office begin-
ning 4/9; 255-4226


-Musllm Student Assn. Meeting,
6:00-7:.‘50pm, Ill Student Ctr
-lntematlonal Christian
Fellowship Meeting, 7:00pm,
Kolnonla House, corner of Rose
St. and Rose Ln.

-lntrnmurnl Golf Doubles Tee
times posted by 2:00pm on the
Intramural boards in the Seaton
Ctr; 257-6584

-UK Men's Tennlo vs. Georgia,
6:50pm; Athens, GA
-UK Baseball vs. Tennessee,
6:00pm; Lexlngton. KY
-UK Outdoor Track: Sea Ray
Relays; Knoxvllle, TH (thru 4/12)
~UK Men's Golf 0 Marshall
Invltntlonal (thru 4/ 12)

-LCC ”Issues Impacting Higher
Education and Community
Colleges,” 2:00pm, 230 Oswald



Craduate Record Examination
(GRE) Exam

-UK Theatre: Blithe Spirit,
8:00pm, Fine Arts Bldg, Guignol
Theatre; $IO, $8.50 at $7
-Day of Jazz, Workshops 8:
Performances, 8:00pm, finale con-
cert, Singletary Ctr Concert Hall at
Recital Hall; Paid Admission
-Lexlngton Philharmonic
Orchestra Unplugged 8r Untied
Series: lmmortal Beloveds:
Beethovan er the Blues, Chee-Yun,
violin, 8:00pm, Opera House; 2:55-

Catholic Mass at the Newman
Center, 6:00pm
-lnt,ramural Tennis Doubles
Tournament play begins, tennis
courts next to the Seaton Ctr (thru
4/13): 257-6582

-UK Baseball vs. Tennessee,
6:00pm; Lexington. KY
-UK Women’s Golf @ Lady
Colonel Classic; Eastern KY (thru

-Speclal Olymplcs Reglonal Swim
Meet, All Day, Lancaster Aquatlcs
‘Malaysia Student Organizatlon
'You Have a Date with Spring 412

. Plcnlc,’ 2:00pm, Shllllto Park

(Reynolds Rd. near Target) $2;

SllNI)/\\' I’I/l 3

EXHIBIT: Kentucky Countess.-
Mona Bismarck In Art A' Fashion,


UK Art Museum (thru 6/15);
Lecture at 2:00pm, President’s
Room, Hugo Vickers, Guest
Speaker; FREE
-UK Trumpet Ensemble: Terry
Everson, director, 2:00pm,
Singletary Ctr Recital Hall; FREE
-UK Theatre: Blithe Spirit,
2:00pm, Fine Arts Bldg, Guignol
Theatre; $10, $8.50 &’ $7
-l’lewman Center Catholic Mass,
9:00 8: 11:503m, 5:00 8r 8:30pm
Christian Student Fellowship
University Praise Service,

I I:OOam, 502 Columbia Ave; 233—


-Aikldo Club, 1:00-3:00pm,
Alumni Gym Loft; 269-4505


-UK Men’s Tennis vs. Ole Miss
(Outdoors), 1:00pm; Lexington,
-UK Baseball vs. Tennessee,
2:00pm; Lexington, KY







to l
’ the
u .

a m





.‘V'fl, ‘
_ “’0‘"

















Silver Jet drags
more than it pulls

By Jeremy Room

Pop goes the Silver Jet. ()r was
that bust.=

Pull Mr Up — Dru Mr Dorm is
the debut album for tfie 4-year—old
pop trio. Since signing with Vir-
gin, Luke Tierney and his band
mates have spent the past year
working meticulously on the
album. T he hard work is revealed
in the excellent pro-

contemporar op. “Kid,” “All
You Are” and, eant To Be” are
well organized upbeat pop songs,
but they lack anything outside of
snare drum downbeats and punchy
rhythm guitar accompaniment just
to ornament the tune.

“Master Plan,” “Plastiqa” and
“The Crown” are in your-face
rock ‘u roll tracks, but they lack
the substance to kick into over-
drive. it's as if they're the little
engines that tried really hard but




just couldn't.




duction quality and ' ‘
somewhat in the song- I he most stale part
writing. of Silver_let’s freshman
There's no question effort comes in the
that Pull Me Up ._ vocals. Ihev go well
Drag .We Dorm is put with most ofthe tunes,
together well. Thanks and l {fess Ehat’ s gogd
to Tim Palmer ' enoug . ut w o
(Sponge, Tin WSICrevtew wants to listen to
Machine), who co-pro- V “ll‘f‘fd enough"?
duced the CD, the **]/2 l he vocal har-
sound mixing is close (out offive) monies are largely
to perfect and even the ‘Pull Me Up .. three-part and per CC"
vocals sound flawless. Drug Me Down ly sung: The lead
The songs them— 8'] Singing is also per-
selvcs, however, are a tuerjrt formed according to
dichotomy of fresh and (V'rgm) the modern pop text-
stale. ' book. But someone
Like all well—written pop son rs, . ‘ ’forgot ‘0 .tell 1 letney
Silver Jet's simple, catc that it s ()l\ to sing With emotion.

melodies are intermin led wit
really powerful hooks. nE’lusically,
Pull [We Up — Drag Me Dorm is
much like what you d ex ect from
Gin Blossoms or Better T han Ezra.
Most of the songs on Pull Me
Up — Drag Me Down are average

l didn’t realize how much the
vocals hindered the music until I
got to the bonus track, on which
the band plays music and takes
turns thanking people. Without
the singing the music of the
bonus track ended up being my



Ki'rltmi'i hum. Hi If»)! ‘1, I'/‘/“ 8

WV till“. .




JET [AG Pop band Silver]rt offers nothing new to this saturated genre.

favorite on the album.

Maybe we're not su iposed to
expect magnificence from pop
music. Maybe we're supposei to
love those same old pentatonic
scales every time we hear them
must confess I did tap my foot [(1)
the better parts of Pull ’Ilr Lp —-
Drag i’VIe Down.

But whats to be ashamed of? I
know the songs are kind of stale,
but if they sound UK, isn't that
what matters?


By Suzanne Ratteld
Aries (March 21-April 19): A

cop decides that you are some kind
ofspeed demon and decides to cite
you for a ticket. But unbeknownst
to him, you are a speed demon
with powers to make people spon-
taneously combust. You obliterate
the cop and spend the rest of the
evening playing with the siren,
which amuses you greatly.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): You
keep running into the same
obnoxious people. You would be
line and content to 'ust avoid these
unsightly errors onyour past, but
they insist on greeting you with a
mass amount ofperkiness. There's
nothing you can about this, other
than run away screaming or duck
behind the large pieces of foliage,
which line our lovely campus.

Gemini (May 2 I-June 20): You
get a big trophy on Thursday for
“ori inality, daring and audacity.”
Birt‘f: sing, the sun is shining and
people ask if you’ve lost weight.
Ilappy times await you.

Cancer (June 21—_]uly 22): Like
a malignant disease, you’re always
lingering around. On the positive
side, on tend to ointo remis—
sion, leaving the ot ers who asso-
ciate with you some recovery time.


Leo (luly 23—Aug. 22). Your
ego is about the size of the Empire
State Building. The size of your
ego is entirely justified, because
you are one of the greatest human
beings ever to be born on this
planet. That, or you’re a sociopath

with extreme delusions of
Virgo (Aug. 23—Sept. 22):

You‘re so cold that people confuse
you with a block ofice. But this is
part ofyour charm because it pro—
vides others with hours of enter-
tainment while they try to chip
3“"8y at your [Cy COVCrlng.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Most
people think you’re cute. What
they don't realize is you’re also
feisty. Your cute appearance is just
a decoy that makes other people
let down their defenses so you can
attack. You're a ball of fire encased
in the body of a cheerleader,
which makes you a force to be
reckoned with.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
T rv to avoid Capricorns this week
—— they will be cranky and violent.
Also, stay away from large dogs
with sharp teeth, as they will be
irresistibly drawn toward your
nice, pinky flesh.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Avoid buying new bath products

WHAT'Syour Sign?

this week. They will not smell the
way you want them to and will
cause an itchy rash. Stay home on
Saturday to can ii that jllii‘lii ( ill
from your crush; if you iiuss it it
will negatively iffcct the test «it
your life.

Capricorn (Dec. 22~jan 10).
On Thursday, be wary of anything
with more than fotir legs. Don't
walk too much this week llnlt's‘s
you want to lose both legs. Also,
avoid Pisceans like the plague.
They are rather klutz with their
motor vehicles and thei will be
heading directly your way

Aquarius Gain. 20— leb. iii):
'1 his weekend, don t talk to any-
one you don't know like the palm
of your hand, unless you want to
join their cult/sorority/fraternity.
Don’t answer the phone on Mon—
day. Your mother is planning on
bestowing you with a massive
spring guilt trip. Try taking deep-
er breaths on Friday, it will help
you relax.

Pisces (Feb. l‘)—March 20): Do
not drink anything that contains
carbonation. It will cause you a lot
of grief. Avoid high overhangs, as
large objects really want to fall on
your head. Try to read a book on
Sunday in order to replace lost
brain cells that fell out on Friday.








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