xt74xg9f7h52 https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt74xg9f7h52/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 1977-11-04 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, November 04, 1977 text The Kentucky Kernel, November 04, 1977 1977 1977-11-04 2020 true xt74xg9f7h52 section xt74xg9f7h52 .k..‘



Volume LXIX, Number 56
Friday. November 4. I977


'It’s more than
a refined doodle’

Kernel Staff Writer

A UK graduate student designed the
winning entry in the Student Govern-
ment logo contest. Steve ()echsli
philosophy major from Louisville,
received the award of two tickets to the
Virgina 'I‘ech football game, but gave
away his two fro-yard lineseats because
he had made previous plans to leave

St; president Jiru Newberry said the
design will officially appear around
campus near the end of this month on
advertisements, posters for 80 ac-
tivities and on office stationary.

tiechsli said his two-year architecture
background helped in his creation of the
logo. Responding to the 86 contest
advertisement. lieworked outthe design
during one afternoon; first drawing the
graphic, and later adding the words “UK
Student (tovemrnent."

“I had a sneaky suspicionl ‘d be pretty

—-Diivtd O'Nell


an independent student newspaper J


Grad student
designs winner

in logo contest

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good if I satdownand did it," he said,
and after several false starts he
“stumbled" upon the presentlogo.

"l thinkit is a fairly solid design it is
more than a refined doodle," ()echsli

Ilis logo‘s meaning is fairly simple,
compared to some interpretations
mentioned by S0 personnel. “UK and
the government are straight.
(represented by straight lines) and the
students are malleable (curved lines
above the word ‘student‘ I,“ ()echsli said.

Student ('enter Public Relations
Itirector Yvonne York said, ”It can
mean several things; to me, personally,
the squiggly lines mean student
government can make some change in
the system."

The .311 entries were judged by
Ncwlx‘rry. St; Vice President (‘athy
('ulbertsou, York and John Veith,
Student ('enter public relations corn-
mittee chairman.

(Icchsli‘s entry satisfied the basic





































requirements fora simple. creative,
cye~catchitig logo. The unique design
and emphasis on students were the
deciding factors in making him the

“The whole concept (of his logo) was
different from any other entry,“ said

Ncwlwrry said the logo will be used as
soon as ()echsli can rework his design.
because it is too difficult to reduce the
original copy and maintain its clarity.
The only changes necessary were the
exaggeration of the curved lines over the
wordstudcnt and spacing the lines to
prevent blurring.

“We want to uscit a lot so students can
identify with it." said Newbcrry.

“Si; doesn‘t get involvedin a lot of
things. or it doesn't receive student
recognition tt'or projects)," he said.
“The logo is the type of thing the SG
needs to help students begin to identify
with our activities and allieviate the
identify problem St: has."


University of Kentucky
Lexidgton, Kentucky

Indian government trying to help poor, Rajan says

Kernel Staff Writer

K.V. ltajan. first Political
Secretary of the Indian Embassy in
Washington, spoke last night to 25
people at the I’K Student ('enter
about the Indian government after
Indira (iandhi.

Rajan opened the question and
answer period with a few brief
comments pertaining to the past and
present politics of India.

“The Indian government is trying
to alleviate the problems of
economics, unemployment. and
starvation in India." Rajan said.
“The emphasis will move from the
cities to thc ruralarcas sincettt) per
cent of the people live in those

Indra is making substantial
changes in its foreign policy. “India
believes in peace and stability for
the world." Rajan said.“lndia will
remain nonaligned with any
country. butwill establish relations
with l'SSlt. (‘hina. and the l'nited

In the past, thclndian government
and the l'nited States have had
disagreements 'l‘hese came after
the Imlo—I’akistanian War in 1971.
\Ihcn Bangladesh was invaded by
\Icst Pakistan. India camcto their
rescucl’orincr Secretary oI'State
Ilcnry Ixissengcr's policies at that
time favored \cht I’akistan, who
were primarily a pro‘rnilitary

llajan said he hoped the l‘nited
States and. India can overcome

Clustered semesters
offer alternatives

Ry Mlt‘III‘IIJ‘) II.\I.I.
Kernel Reporter

Students who feel that some of
their courses lack focus, or that they
are not developing a sufficiently
wide perspective can turn to the
concept of (‘oordinated Semesters.

'l‘he ('oordinated Semesters
program consists of two separate
clusters of three courses. Each
course focuses on separate
academic discipline. but the three
together work toward a general
theme. This allows for training in
particular disciplines as well as an
appreciation of their interrelations.

Ray Cox. program administrator,
said he thinks this is a good op
portunity for students, because it
gives them a greater appreciation of
the courses.

"For instance." said (fox. “you
can take a problem or eventand look
at it from three points ofview and
the effects it had on each of the areas
of study. Actually, each of these
clusters should bethought of as a
single team-taught nine hour

The two clusters being offered for
the spring semester are (‘uttural
t‘hange in (‘Iassical Antiquity:
Homer to lladrian; and Power,
dealing with political and cultural
development in the western

The classes will be small with
plenty of opportunity for discussion
with faculty and other students.

(‘luster A was offered for the fall


semester and (‘ox said that summer
workshops wcrehcld this summer

for the professors in preparationfor
the program. Ilc also said he has had
excellent feedback from both
students and their professors.

John Scarborough teaches a
segment of (‘luster A and is en»
thusiastic about the program. “I
think it‘s succeeding quite
brilliantly. I‘mhaving funand it is a
good investment of the student's
time.” he said.

.Ianc l’hiIlips, who teaches
anothercluster course. said she was
impresscdwith the students‘ ability
to relate information from one
course to another.

Louis Swift, who teaches the other
third of the cluster. said he thinks
the program is running smoothly.
“It's one way to tie up allthe loose
ends," he said. “If you take one
course about one phase of aperiod of
time. you may be left with questions.
This way you get three points of view
and things are naturally a lot

All three cluster teachers agreed
that the only drawback was that nine
hours is a large block of the
students' time and is often hard to
schedule around other required

Another stumbling block that
students have faced is having
already taken one of the courses and
thus being ineligible for the
program ,

Corlinued on page 5

nnspcrceptions of the. past. "There.
were a lot of mistakes made on both
sides. but there is now a com-
icitrncut on both countries to
strengthen relations." he said.

l’rcsident ('arter will be in India
.\o\‘. 3‘: amt 28 to discuss the two
.ountries‘ relations. Rajan
saul.“’I'henature of these talks will
locus on how theltnited States and
India can cooperate for national

tine of the topics that caused
tonsidcrable controversy was
handhi's (‘ongress Party and the
It‘rm-rgcncy. The Emergency
I'rogram was started in 1975 under
the order of (landhi.

lturing the I‘Zmergency, India's
house of representatives. Lok
Sabha. passed laws that prohibiteda

case to bc appcaltxl in court.lt was
also during this time that freedom of
speech and the press was sur-

A question from the audience
concerned these civil liberties. 'I'he
.crson posing the question thought
the man in the \ illage “could give a
damn about civil liberties. but in-
stead w ants to be fed."

the .Iauata I’arty. under the
leadership ot'l’rime Minister l)esai,
defeated (tandhi in the March 77
clectious amt restored civil
freedoms to the people.

ttajan emphasized the need for
civil rights. “I don‘tthink the man in
the village doesn‘t care about his
rights," he said. “The way hevoted
showed he rebelled against the
powerl I'w c can‘tdeliver bread and

expectationswe will have a serious
problem. As of now. the people are
getting a taste of what it was like
under tlielilrncrgency. 'l‘hemessage
IS clear. we want bread but on the
basis of humandiguity.“

(taudhi is currently under attack
from the people and there has beena
commision set up to investigate the
charges brought against her. She
allegedly had made some illegal
buisiness deals and participated in
other illegalactivities.

.I.(‘. Shah. a leading Indian jurist,
is heading the cornrnisisionand will
provide arcport to the government.
Itajan made some comparisons to
the (landhi scandal and the Nixon‘s
involvcmcntin Watergate.

“I don't wish to comment on what
Ford did when he pardoned Nixon,“

he said, but it didn't meet with
popularity with the world. The
govcrrnnacnt can‘t forget what it
went through. Right now it is too
tarly to say whatwill happen we
t ertainly couldn't have anything like
the Nurnburg trials. but she has
been chargid and it is before the
. ourts."

A I H press release said Gandhi
w as attacked by people who threw
stones atbcr. “Her life is not in
danger and she is moving freely
about,“ Rajau said. She is now
touring the country campaigning in
luci‘ behalf."

(‘urrently in India the population
growth rate is an million a year and
the infant mortality rate is 35 to 45
percent due to malnutrition.

Continued on page 5




“If. I‘llll'l 'I‘II.\'I' III'JS'I'RUYI‘II) 'l'III-I 7!I-\'I-IAR-
til 11 tlotcl Miller and killed five residents apparently
started III a storage room next to a second-floor
laundry, Rob Estep, acting Kentucky fire marshal,
said yesterday. Fire officials used a crane to begin
dismantling the burned out hotel. I‘Istep said arson
investigators had tound “nothing to indicate that
Itanunablematerials were involved" or any other
evidence of arson


t‘lfl.\ltl-‘.’I"I'I-‘. Shll'fitilJNtl AND IllNI'I‘IJ-IGGING.
once thoughtto bean East (‘oast problem, has become
a flourishing business in the Midwest. Minnesota.
Illinois, Ohio and Michigan lose an estimated Sill)
million a year in cigarette taxes to smugglers. Indiana.
which has had few problems in the past, now are
worried that smuggling is on the rise since the state
cigarette tax was increased from six cents to 10.5 cents
a pack July I.

INN‘TURS .\’I‘ YALE MEDICAL S('ll00l. and at
other colleges say they have found a way to determine
before birth whether a baby will be crippled by a
usually fatal. inherited form of muscular dystrophy.
'Ihe researchers said that with theresults of their test.
mothers may decide to have abortions rather than bear
children afflicted with the illness.

his energy program. will address the nation Tuesday
night "to refocus public attention" on the energy
problem. White Itmse officials said yesterday. 1hr.-

President Car-
ter will address
the nation Tues-
day about his
energy propo-


speech will be available for national live television and
radio broadcast. The speech will be given at 9 am.
The energy legislation is currently before a joint
"muse-Senate conference committee.

ticiats systemtieally misuse military aircraft and have
kept some A ir Force. pilots so busy flying generals they
had no time for required combattraining. Pentagon
auditors said yesterday. The Defense Audit Service
made the finding in a report that said the military and
civilian defense officials use military planes for per-
sonal trips or for low priority missions at an annual
cost of at least $52.3 million.

.\ [ANSIML \llt'llltiAN t‘l'llt‘l'lT ('(K'llT JURY
yesterday acquitted Francine llnges by reason of
insanity on charges that she. killed the ex husband who
had beat her. The jury of to women and two men

. - roo--s""

returned theverdict in the first-degree murder trial
after tLI- hours of deliberations. Mrs. Ilughes had
testified during the trial that she suffered years of
beatings until one night last March when she poured
gasoline on the floor arounrl the bed where her ex-
husband slept.


.\ titltil'l' til“ ItI'SSIAN Ill’MAN RIGHTS A(‘-
'I'l\'lS'l‘s opened a campaign yesterday to eliminate
the death penalty. a pimishment seldom publicized but
reportedly often imposed in the Soviet Union. Soviet
laws allows for capital punishment in cases of treason.
murder. hijacking. attempted escape across Soviet
borders and serious economic crimes. such as bribe-
taking and Iargescalc emhenlement. Other special
articles provide for capital punishment in the armed

overflowr-d rivers yesterday in Athens and its port city
of t'iracus. leaving behind 25 dead and damage
estimated atmillions of dollars. Water stood 3.3 feet
deep in major highways into the city and hundreds of
cars sat abandoned in the streets. Some archeolog‘cal
monuments at the foot of the Acropolis had to he
jumped out.


they will diminish ton'ght. Tomorrow will be partly
clmuly. The high today and tomorrow will be in the
upper titl's. The low tonight will be near an.

t umpiled from Associated Press Dispatches




editorials 8: comments

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Too much gravy, not enough biscuits

I certainly didn‘t expect him to
greet us like he did.

“Call me Otis,“ he said with a

His new plan was to meet with
students atan informal breakfast
and give them a chance to find out







what UK President Otis Singletary
was all about. He made it clear that
he wanted to hear their gripes.

I tagged along out of sheer
curiosity. Plus it was a free meal.
I'm no fool.

We met him in the faculty club at
the Student Center There were four
others: a senior sociology major,
junior-English, sophomore-biology
and freshman-math. And me,
senior-loitering Yfifth-year. no less).

“Dig in,“ Otis said, and we at-
tacked the food that had been set on
the table. “And if you have any
questions, don‘t be shy. Ask away.
That‘s what I‘m here for. Pass that

We hedged a bit, waiting for
somebody else to make the first
move. Finally the English major
spoke up.

“Dr. Singeltary‘!”

“Otis,“ he said with an unnerving

“Otis," she said uncomfortably,
and took a big swig of orange juice.
“The thing that makes me so mad
about this school is the unfair policy

with tickets for football and
basketball games."

She started slowly, but built up
steam as she talked. “I've been
going here for three years and it’s
always a hassle to get tickets. We
have to stand in line all day,
sometimes all night, for lousy seats.
And sometimes, wedm't get them
at all. And thenwesee the boosters
and the alumni getting all theseats
they want, it just makes me mad,
and l don‘t thinkit’sfair...”

She was rambling now. A tear
came to her eye, which she dabbed
with a piece of toast,whole wheat.

Otis cleared his throat. “Well, you
see, uh,those people are very im-
portant to the athletic department,
and, uh...“ He was shaken. I think
the wholeuheattoast did it.

Then his eyes brightened. “I’ll
show you,”he smiled. He pointed to
the biology major. “Now, take that
raisin bran you‘re eating. What
makes that cereal soimportant? It’s '
the raisins! Sure, it‘s good cereal,
but why? Raisins! That’s what
makes it so special; just a few,
seemingly insignificant raisins." He
was rolling now.

“They don’t look like much on
their own, but where would that
cerealbe without them? And where
would our athletic program be
without the boosters and alumni?
What would you have if you took
away those raisins?"

“Grape Nuts flakes?” I offered.
“Bran! ” hebellowed. “You don’t
win co ference championships with
bran! You gotta have raisins to win

the NCAA!"

What a dynasty General Mills
must have, I thought.

“Uh.0tis, sir?" Freshman math.
“I keep reading about you in the


Sensible issues

It is quite obvious that the com-
mentaries of Oct. 31 proved Ms.
Michaels point, rather than rebutted

Kentuckians do have their per-
suasions, as do New Yorkers.
However, persuasions need not be
prejudices. From the election of
President Carter until these com-
mentaries I was under the im-
pression that Reconstruction had

Please forgive my idealism,0
Great Student Body.

The sources of the regional dif-
ferences in America are matters of
historical accidentand should not
inspire mystical attachments to
mythic al stereotypes.

For example. it is ludicrous to
take regional sides on poverty.
Poverty is determined by factors
differing from region and is not a
matter of style; it is simply a
struggle for survival and dignity.

Furthermore, the use of poverty
as a regional banner like a Con-
federate flag at a football game is
not only silly but sardonic. Poverty
can be no one‘s banner. Such crises
merit solution, notsnobbery.

Again, I apologize for my
idealism, but I still maintain a ray of
hope that Homosapiens can reserve
their polarizations for more sensible
issues and their inflammatory
dialogue for problems, not victims.

Richard W. Dizney
Philosophy sophomore

A vote for Joe

Please vote for Joe Graves for

I have known him for nearly seven
years and he has become a close
personal friend. I do not know a
more dedicated professional in any
walk of life.

Joe takes politics very seriously.
He reads a great deal-history, case
studies, newspapers—and he talks
at length with people about the
specific problems they face. For
instance, three years agowhen I was
describing various situations many
of us encounter in the Medical
Center, Joe wantedto know more.
Later the same weekhe joined me
for lunchand we spent the afternoon
touring the center.

Last year as a state senator he
was a key member of the Health
Care Availability Committee which

school paper,

“That’s Kernel," I said. Stupid

“Yeah, well, I thought a
University this big kind of ran itself;
you know, witheverybody doing his
job, and the president was like a

Otis smiled, shaking his head.
“Look at that sausage." What?
“That sausage, lying on your plate.
Now let’s take some bacon, here."

He grabbed a few strips of bacon
from myplate andlay them on the
plate, leading up tothe sausage.

“Now this piece of bacon here, this
is Joe Burch, dean of students. And
this one, this small one, this is Lynn
Williamson, assistant dean of
students. And this last one, this is
Robert Zumwinkle, student affairs
vice president.

“Now,"he said. “It looks like the
sausage doesn't do anything but sit
in the middle. Buttake itaway and
all you'll have is a greasy blank spot
in the middle of the plate. You have
to have somethingfor your bacon to
lead up to.

“And you have to have the right
people in those jobs." Otis said. “Not
just any schlepp will do. The
sausage can‘t always be worrying
about his bacon. You need good
bacon to make sure this University
is run properly."

“This IS goodbacon," I said. “It's
delicious," and in order I polished
off Blanton, Burch, Williamson and

“You‘re eating my staff!" Otis

“Burp,” I countered cleverly.

Biology saw his chance. “I have a
question," he said. “With
enrollment going up so fast, what

the, what is it,

drafted the legislation and made
possible the financing of new
residency programs in Kentucky.

When the Faculty Council was
drafting a letter to the president
outlining problems in the Medical
Center, Joe gave several hours of his
time as a very helpful ocnsultant on
such topics as the availability of
funds at the state level.

In short, he is deeply concerned
about people and their problems. I
am convinced that he, as a suc-
cessful and knowledgeable
politician, a diligent student ofcivic
affairs, and a man of action,would
be an outstanding Mayor of

Ralph E. Millei
Departmentof Pharmacology

Not recognized

Although Homecoming and all of
its events have draWnto a close,l
want to comment on an activity
which did not take place, but should

The h ighlightof the pep rally was
the announcement andcrowning of a
new queen, Claudia .han Wellman.
ButI was surpr'sed to see Fran
Curci do the crowning. Hasn‘t it



are the plans for expansion? Is the
state going togive UK any money to
build new facilities?"

At themention of “state" and
.“money,” Otis’ hands began to
tremble. “We‘re trying," he sput-
tered. I thought he was going to cry.
“Let me show you.“ '

()h, brother.

“Here," he said, grabbing another
plate. “Let’s say these biscuits are
the buildings we have now, and this
gravy represents all the people on
campus. Now, you can only sop up so
much gravy with somany biscuits.”

“You mean—"

“That‘s right, there’s too much
gravy on this campus and not


enough biscuits. But will the state
listen to us? No, no. They say,
‘Otis—' "

Oh, the state calls him Otis, too.

“...they say, ‘Otis, you gots
enough b'scuits for your gravy.
There's not going to be that much
gravy in a few years. You have to
gut it outwith the biscuits you gots

“But they don't know!" He was
standing on his chair now, flailing
hisarms like someone drowning in a
sea of gravy. “They just don’t un-
derstandthat our biscuits are falling
apart. How can you survive with
crumbling biscuits?”

He seemed to be caught up in what

a.» ; fiddle A

' ' w

,. ,
,‘Irm ' w


always been tradition for the
previously reigning queen to present
her crown to the new one? And
where was Leigh Sexton? Shewas

right there, lost inthe crowd, un-


It‘s ashame that Leigh was not
even recognized as the reigning
queen. An introducim tothe crowd
would have been very appropriate.

in You WHAT I'M GONNA D0 —— :‘3
Mom MY Rom YSYQULecéitED

Letters to the editor




he was doing,sohe didn‘t notice as
we all edged towards the door.

“You know,“ sociology said to me
as we slipped out, “I didn‘t know
learning about the University could
be so interesting."

“0r taste so good, too,” I said.

“Waitress!" Otis was shouting.
“Could you bring me some French
toast? [have to study the plans for a
new StudentCenter..."


Dick Gabriel is the Kernel managing
editor and was never invited to have
breakfast with Otis. His column
appears every other Friday.



”’5 I

'N W;



a 8;



30m 0 YOUR BEEF ' J ‘


She could have presented the crown
to Curci, hit still let him do the

To me, the total absence ofLeigh‘s
name indicatedthat the whole idea
of Homecoming Queen is not for a
year but is actually aweekend deal,
when in reality her responsibilities
don't endthene but only begin! For

example Leigh was required to help
in the organization of this year’s
Homecoming events. Will Claudia’s
hard work and efforts also In
ignored? Will she too belostin the
shuffle and go unrecognized at this
time next year?

(‘indy Sue Gepfert
Blanding III Resident

Both Lexington, New York
have different styles of living


Michael‘s and Palmer's articles
date only the hearsay brought up by
meducated lazy persons and paper
selling reporters. No one place is
letter than the other or has more


noblems than the next. Some may
be more advertized and exaggerated
than the next, but in the end who’s

I love New York City, what it
offers and what it stands for. Every
city, no matter its population, if it
can be called a city, has its similar
ratios of poverty and wealth.

New York City has its big, small
and privately owned businesses. It
has its industry, population and

People, well, it has its share. It has
its separate economic classes like
everyone else. Sure the poverty and
welfare are high; a numorous
population, highly competitive job
market, what do you expect. This is
only the ratio set forth by every
large worldly society before us.
Check it if you don’t believe me. Dig
out your history book from under

NYC has its poverty, middle class
and wealthy. Yes wealth, people in
NY do have money, and it it's up to
these people it will stay that way.
People speak of the CITY going
wider. This city will never go under.
It came damn close once, according
to the ‘wanting reelection' politi-
ciam and sell happy reporters, but it




would never happen. It‘s funny how
much happens in political role
playing and what is swept down city

The Big Apple has as much to offer
as any other city, if not more. The
theaters, museums, opera houses
and galleries are in huge abundence,
accepting nothing but excellence.
And what other city has as many
learning institutions all inone city,
with such high reputations. There
are more than meets the eye when
not quickly scanning through your
quick thoughts or daily paper.

Poverty is a over exhausted topic
when it comes to thinking about New
York City. A similar thing would
happen to this campus after a while,
if someone advertized the large
number of UK students arrested on
campus by campus police, after they
have committed certain illegal
offenses. The reputation of this fine
university would sharply decline,
along with the funds and support.

What city in this country has a
Greenwich Village? If you are
uninformed or just forgetful, Green-
wich Village is a subsection of
Manhattan, where the searching and
found, theater and arts personel
would likely be found.

This ranges through almost every
hobby and skill dreamable, from
musician to modern dance perform-
er; comedian to artist; lover to
playwriter, performing in excell-
ence. Simply walk through every
small or large park in the area on a
my Sunday and observe. There is
no possible way of finding yourself
bored; seek and you may find, if you
keep an open mind.

These parks and every other park
in and around New York gets you
back into mother nature. You may
question my statement but it is true.
If you situate yourself in the center
of any of the many large parks,
(which made be quiet hard if a pond
is underfoot,) you could swear you
were out in the country. These large
parks are not just someone’s back-
yard, they may run for a mile or two,
in length and width. Many times you
may only hear the birds singing and
relate only with mother nature, not a
car, bus, or truck in sight or sound.

NYC and its surrounding suburbs,
within a 60-mile radius, are all
affected by New York's business,
culture and fashion life. The quick
pace of life and its night life, leave
you always on your toes, happy,
busy, and continuously entertained.

Like Lexington, New York has its
certain life style. People grow to
love the one they are accustom.
They find pride in what they do, love
where they are and make the best of
what they got, hoping to achieve a
little something better in the future.
This is all human nature; man must
have a goal, some type of competi
tion and someone to share it with.

I must agree 'Southern Hospita-
lity‘ is always welcome to a New
Yorker like myself, but you don‘t
want to ruin a good thing by over
use. And Lexingtonians‘ do live a
longer life than New York Cityers‘,
may be its something they brew in
their moonshine.


Bill Rencher Is a pro-pharmacy








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Jimmy pays retching price in ads

NEW YORK— There was,
yesterday, an offer for me to
do a tebvision commercial
for a coffee company. The
matter was debated at great
length with my wife, the
former Rosemary Dattolico.

“How much?” she said.

“Pretty good,” I said. I
showed her the figures.

She looked at them. “I
better take your suit to the
cleaners,” she said.

“I don't know how it will
look," I said. “I'm supposed


to be a newsman now and
here I’m plugging a coffee. It
wasdifferent when I wasn’t in
daily news work."

“What time do you have to
be there to make the com-
mercial?" she said.

Once, the former
Rosemary Dattolico listened
to great arguments, delivered
in the rhythm of purity, about
how much harm television
newsmen did to themselves
by pitching products on such
as the Today show.

The former Rosemary
Dattolico agreed. Then she
read a story about how the
owner of the television
station, RCA. makes
guidance systems for
missiles. The next morning,
the former Rosemary Dat-
tolico waved a finger at Tom
Brokaw on the television and
said, “You could sell a little
dog food and nobody gets

Now,yesterday, she looked
at me and waited for me to
call up and say, yes, I’ll do a
commerciall said] had one
other problem before I did
this: I drink decaffeinated
coffee. I love realcoffeebut l
always drink coffee in such
amounts, 20and 30 cups a day
while writing, that the real

coffee used to make trip-
hammers go off inside my
chest at 3 am. I'd wake up
and start praying.

“If I take the commercial,

I’ll have to drink realcoffee,”
I said.
“So? ” the former

Rosemary Dattolico said.

“Well, you know what it can
do to me.”

She looked at the figures
again.She shrugged. “So you
could have a few little chest

l picked up the phone and
calked the person handling the
business and said, yes, I'll do
the commercial. Thewoman
said to me, “Now, you un~
derstand whatit’s going to be
like to do me of these com-
mercials. You'll have to do all
these reta kes and things like

I said to her, “What, are
you kidding? I can tell you
stories about them."

Which I can:

Two yearsago,when l was
not a daily newsman, a man
named Paul McDonough
from Benton & Bowles ad-
vertising called me up and
asked if I wantedto do a 30-
second commercial for Grape

I happen to like the cereal,
and I happen to love the
money he mentioned. I said
yes so loud thathe hadto hold
the phone away.

Isatona stoolbehind it and
went overthe lines, which I’d
memorized the night before.
A guy named George, one of
the crew, was next to me. He
put some Grape Nuts onto a
spoon. Then he poured milk
over it. I wasto hold up the
spoon, say my lines brightly,
then stick the spoon into my

As George handed me the
spoon, a scream came from
out beyond he lights.

“You’ve drowned the
Grave Nuts!”

“I'm sorry! " George said.
He then got a new spoon up to
the hotl'ghts.

Good,” a voice said. “I
want the Grape Nuts to be
able to hokl their leads up

My job at this point was to
hold upthe spoon, tell the
camera lens that Grape Nuts
were solid—that was the key
word, sdid; a sdid guy
telling youabout solid food—
and, afterthis,jam thespoon
full of Grape Nuts into my

As I was about to start,
George put a big plastic
bucketat my feet. On a low
table next to it was a large
glass of water.

”What’s that?" I said.
“Your spit bucket," he said.

“What for?”

George seemed surprised.
“You got to spit them out
after every mouthful," he
said. “Wash out your mouth
water and spit into the
bucket You can’t swallow
them every time. You'll be
doing this scene so many
times youll make yourself
sick. ‘

Besides, it takes you too
long to chew Grape Nuts.
We'll be here two days
waiting for you to finish
chewi ng.Just say your line to
the camera, put the Grape
Nuts into your mouth, hold it,
and then the camera will out.
Then you spitout and we go
on to the next line."

I held up the spoon.
Somebody behind the lights
shouted, “Rolling!” and I
said into the camera lens,
with great early morning
cheer,“Grape Nuts, the solid

“I opened my mouth and
shovekad inthe Grape Nuts.
My jawbone went crazy. It
couldn't start chomping on
those Grape Nuts. ButI held
it steady.

“Allright, cut," somebody


I Ieanaiover, took a great
gulp of thewater, threw my
head back and swilled it
around, then bent over. like a
prize fighter between rounds,
and spit everything into the

I looked up,readyto go onto
the next line.

“We'lldo that one over," a
voice s