xt75hq3rxw8k https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt75hq3rxw8k/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 2000-04-14 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers English Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, April 14, 2000 text The Kentucky Kernel, April 14, 2000 2000 2000-04-14 2020 true xt75hq3rxw8k section xt75hq3rxw8k ultimatum

Lame jokes

Humor at
its best

Two peanuts were
walking down a
spooky road at night
One was assaulted.

What do you call a fly
with no wings? A
walk.

Two ropes walk into a
bar. The bartender
says to the rope
"Hey! we don't serve
ropes in here" so one
of the ropes left. The
other rope frayed up
his hair and tied
himself in a knot. The
bartender said to the
rope “Are you a
rope?" and the rope
said “ l'm afraid
not."

Why was the Tomato
blushing? Because he
saw the salad
dressing.

A mom, dad, and baby
tomato are walking
down the street and
the baby starts to lag
behind so the dad
goes back and
smashes the baby
and says "ketchup."

A frog is looking for a
loan, so he goes into
a bank. He sits down
at a desk and the
name plate says
"Patty Whac." He
talks to Patty about
the loan and she asks
him what he has for
collateral. The frog
replies, “well I have
this vase." He pulls
the vase out of a bag
to show her. "Well
that's just a cheap
knick-knack." Patty
says. Then the owner
notices the vase and
says to himself "gee
that's from the 17th
century, it's worth
tons of money." So
he walks over to
Patty and says
”That's no knick-
knack Patty Whac
give the frog a loan."

Three old men are at the
doctor for a memory
test. The doctor says
to the first old man,
“What is three times
three?" “274" was
his reply. The doctor
says to the second
man "it’s your turn.
What is three times
three." "Tuesday"
replys the second
man. The doctor says
to the third man,
"0K, Your turn.
What's three times
three"? "Nine" says
the third man.
"That's great" says
the doctor. “How did
you get that?"
"Simple," says the
third man. "I
subtracted 274 from
Tuesday".

A termite walks into a
barroom and asks.
"Is the bar tender
here?”

How do you catch a
squirrel? Climb into a
tree and act like a
nut

-Source:
www.hevanet.comlben

hliokes.html
Compiled by: Ron
Norton

Tomorrow's
weather

a
7.1 5.5

Ahh it ﬁnally feels
like spring. Enjoy the
warm weekend weather!

Kentucky
Kernel
VOL. 3:104 ISSUE 294

ESTABLISHED IN I892
INDEPENDENT SINCE I9TI

News tips?
Call: 2574915 or write:

kernelOpop.uky.edu

PRIDAYKENTUCKY

April I4, 2000

Atheletes promote
education to kids

Jeff Limperts, natural resources conservation management senior and Falana Greenwell, merchandising apparel and tex-
tiles junior, perform a skit at Memorial Coliseum yesterday about cheating in school for Schoolhouse Rock 2000. The two
are currently on the 0K track team. The event hosted thousands of fourth and fifth graders for an pro-education rally.

Role models: Athletes gather to stress the importance of an education
and drug-free life to nearly 4,000 local elementary school children.

By John Wampler
SPECIAL SECTIONS EDITOR

Roughly 4.000 fourth and fifth
graders from Fayette and sur-
rounding counties packed into
Memorial Coliseum yesterday
morning to see some of their fa-
vorite UK athletes.

The athletes were not there to
play sports. In an event that put
the emphasis in “student-athlete"
on the student, they were hosting
Schoolhouse Rock 2000. designed
to motivate kids to stay in school
and off drugs.

Shelly Bowie‘Bryant. commu-
nity outreach coordinator for UK
athletics. said that while student-
athletes do outreach programs all
year, this program. in its fourth
year. is the largest event they hold.

Eddy Clements. a communica-
tions freshman from London. Eng-
land and a member of the swim
team. felt that Schoolhouse Rock
helped use athletes’ position as
role models as a positive inﬂuence.

“(Childrem look up to athletes.
It‘s a good inspirational thing." he
said.

Like many other Kentucky
residents. the students in the
crowd were huge Wildcat basket-
ball fans. When Coach Tubby
Smith took the stage. the bleachers
erupted with cheers and yells

Smith told the young students
to stay focused on their goals. and
to stay away from drugs and alco-
hol.

Student-athletes also stressed
the connection between doing well
on and off the ﬁeld.

Sam Bowie. a former UK
men's basketball player and for-
mer pro basketball player. came to
speak about how school should
come ﬁrst. .

“Make sure you take care of
your homework and your studies.
and the sports will come." he told
the crowd.

The UK men’s soccer team per—
formed a skit showing how not
studying can lead to an athlete be-
ing prevented from playing. due to
academic ineligibility.

Saul Smith. point guard for
UK men's basketball. took to the
stage with Marvin Stone. center
for UK men‘s basketball. to explain

Just say no

mcx tourcatl mm surr

Kyle White, from Maxwell Elementary, was chosen from the crowd to answer
questions asked by junior Anthony Kelly, wide receiver for lift football, about

why people shouldn't use drugs..

how important paying attention to
schoolwork was.

“I wouldn’t be playing here at
UK ifl didn’t get my academics
right in high school." Smith told
the group.

Other skits. such as the UK
Women's Soccer skit. “Snow White
and the Seven Drug-Free Dwarfs."
showed the dangers of alcohol and
other drugs.

This message seemed to hit
home as well.

Cori Mack. a fifthgrader from
Nicholasville Elementary in Lex-
ington who plays basketball for a
Jessamine County city league. said
that she learned the importance. of
staying drug‘free.

“You can't achieve your goals
if you do drugs.“ she said.

Other issues were also ad-
dressed. The swim team performed
a skit emphasizing pool safety.
while the riﬂe team used their

The Student Newspaper at the University of Kentucky, Lexington

stage time to address gun safety.

Tia Matthews. a fifth grade
teacher at Nicholasville Elemen~
tary. said that the themes of the
event tied in well with the DARE
(Drug Abuse Resistance Educa-
tion) program students were par-
ticipating in at school.

In addition. with its goal to
stress the importance of education
to students. the event was very
timely. Matthews said. Students in
the fourth and fifth grade across
the state begin taking the CATS
(Commonwealth Accountability
Testing System) test next week.

The athletes were happy to
have the opportunity to help the
impressionable children.

Aaron Cuker. a graphic design
freshman and member of the swim
team. said. “We‘re. glad to come out
and help the community. I think
it's great that we can be
role models."

Jazz giant
The legendary
Jimmy Smith
" - on campus
. tonight I8
“'m ~

'. ' l

ht: wwkern.kyel.com

MENDI'IIGHLIQHI,

Angelou
speaking on
Saturday

Words of wisdom: Author Maya Angelou
overcame hardships throughout early life

STAN REPORT

Few people have lived life and overcome heartache like
Maya Angelou. Students and faculty alike will get to hear her
stories. poetry and advice when she visits Lexington tomorrow.

Most people will remember her for giving the 1993 Inaugu-
ration introductory speech for President (‘Iin-

ton.

But she is remarkable for many other rea-

sons.

She was the first black traffic conductor in
San Francisco. She was editor of The Arab Ob»
server when living in Egypt. She also found
time to learn Wench. Spanish. Italian and West
African Fanti. and is fluent in all of those lane

guages.

“ Currently. Angelou is a

professor of American

Studies at Wake Forest

in North Carolina.

All that had not come easily. however.
Born as Marguerite Johnson. Angelou
was raped by her mother‘s boyfriend at

Maya Angelou will
speak on at the Sin-
gletary Center,
Recital Hall. Satur-
day 8 pm.

$22.50 for the gen-
eral public

$l8 for UK faculty
and staff

$12 for students with
an it)

an early age. This tragedy kept her silent
and she did not speak for five years.

As she grew older. life got worse and she
found herself an unwed mother at age 16.
But Maya Angelou turned all of that
around. She said her experiences made
her a stronger. more confident person
and gave her a reason to accomplish
more and speak to others around world.
Although she encountered struggle after
struggle. she always remembered to keep
her head up.

One of her famous quotes reads: "If you
don‘t like something. change it. If you
can't change it. change your attitude.

Don't complain."

gimme Arbor
Day outdoors

By Rob Bricken
CONTRIBUllNG WRITER

The UK Arboretum and student organization Green Thumb
are gearing up for a full slate of Arbor Day events on Saturday.

“The Arboretum hosts the largest Arbor Day celebration in
the state." said Arboretum manager Marsha Farris.

“It's in its eighth year. and this year's event is especially cs»
citing since we've just become Kentucky‘s official botanical gar-

den." she said.

Arbor Day Features will include over 40 booths containing
information on everything from wildlife identification to preser-

vation.

Four speakers will also attend. including horticulture spo
Cialist .lim (‘hctfield who will give a speech on "Why Good
Trees Go Bad." and landscape designer and author Ezra llag‘
gard. who will give a demonstration on garden design.

There will also be children‘s
activities. as well as an appear-
ance by the Kentucky Alive Biodi-
versity Bus also dubbed “Nature
Center on Wheels."

The Green Thumb environ
mental club is cosponsoring the
event. They will have their own in
formation booths and. hopefully.
some. bands. said Green Thumb
member Lee Troutman.

Catawumpus Universe and
Heavy Water are being negotiated
to play an acoustic show at the Ar
boretum. but this has not been fir
nalized.

“We're excited to have Green
Thumb‘s participation and we
hope they'll get more students to
come.“ Farris said.

“Students should definitely
come out and participate. to learn
about Green Thumb and what the
Arboretum does. and how every
one can help the environment."
Troutman said.

The day will provide educa-

The Arbor Day festivities
will run from 9:30 am.
to 2 pm
Exhibits and activities begin
at 10 am

There is a $5 admission fee
for the speaker's tent.
Tree seedlings are free.

At 9:30 am, the ”Trot for
the Trees," a walk “across
Kentucky" starts. It costs
$10 and includes a T-shirt.

Proceeds will go toward
maintaining the Children's
Garden.

tional opportunities for the participants.

“We‘re just happy to provide so many oprmrtunitics for [K
students. families and everyone to inquire about Arbor [lay and
the Arboretum." Farris said. “It‘s a great way to learn more
about Kentucky's wildlife and nature. and how to keep it so

beautiful."

2 I FRIDAY, APRIL 14. 2000 I xmucxvuanu

The Low-down

If you’re
going to
pull some-
thing out
by its
roots, you
have to
plant
thought-
ful seeds
to take its

place,”

—Iteo. Anna
Eshoo. 0-Calif..
on a Republican
plan to replace
the income tax
with a national
sales tax. [shoe

and other
Democrats said
that plan would
hit poorer peo-
ple the hardest

and unwisely
impose a tax on
goods and ser-
vices sold over
the Internet.
prescription
drugs, clothes
and other neces-
sities.

Elian issued stay by court

MIAMI ~ A federal appeals court issued a
temporary stay yesterday that keeps Elian Gon~
zalez in the United States while the government
and his relatives fight over whether he will be re
turned to his father and sent home to Cuba. The
order came barely an hour after the passing of a
government deadline for the boy's Miami rela-
tives to hand him over. The Justice Department
said it had agreed to wait to reclaim the boy until
the court could review the emergency petition
filed by Elian’s great-uncle Lazaro Gonzalez.

BP Amoco, Arco Merger DK'd

WASHINGTON ~— The government yester-
day approved BP Amoco's $27.6 billion purchase
of Atlantic Richfield Co., after the company
agreed to sell to Philips Petroleum Co. Arco's
large oil holdings in Alaska. The merger will cre
ate one of the world‘ largest oil companies. The
Federal Trade Commission had opposed the
merger because of concern that the combination,
without such a divestitures, would be able to
dominate the West Coast oil market.

Public suspicious of E-tiling

WASHIINGTON -A More than a third of the
American public has doubts about the security of
filing tax returns electronically, despite govern-
ment encouragement of this growing practice. an
Associated Press poll finds. The poll, conducted
for The AP by [CR of Media, Pa, found 57 percent
say they wouldn‘t worry about the privacy of
their financial information when filing online,
while 36 percent say they would worry. Never-
theless. the number of people filing taxes elec~
tronically is increasing.

Clinton won't ask for pardon

WASHINGTON 7— President Clinton said
yesterday he would not ask for any pardon from
his successor for any possible crimes committed
while in office. "I don't want one (a pardon) and I
am prepared to stand before any bar of justice I
have to stand before." Clinton told a journalists
organization. He also said. "I‘m glad I didn‘t
quit" when faced with impeachment by the
House and removal by the Senate -~ 3 battle he
won after a historic trial that concluded last
year.

FCC turns slamming to states

WASHINGTON — Determining that the
telecommunications industry can’t police itself.
the Federal Communications Commission decid-
ed yesterday to let state regulators enforce rules
to stop unscrupulous longdistance phone compa-
nies from changing people's service without
their permission. The FCC has been over-

TOGETIIER AT whelmed by complaints over the illegal practice
LAST: Pope called slamming, receiving 80,000 grievance let-
John Paul II will ters in recent years.
symbolically
hold hands with
:2‘:‘,;;°:‘,.'_'" Patriot missile costs to rise
and him , . .
“mummsﬂc . WASHINGTON 4— Fieldlng a new, more so-
.. outdoor phisticated versmn of the Patriot misstle that
gained acclaim in the 1991 Gulf War w1ll cost $2.3
Vatican charity . . . .
. billion more than prev1ously estimated, the Pen-
concert schod . .
uted to be held tagon said yesterday. That is about a 30 percent
Ma 1 The increase, to a total of $10.1 billion, for the version
6 y t.J bII known as Patriot PAC-3. About half of the added
Cruertul “ cost reﬂects an increase in the number of mis-
one °' ' siles the Army plans to buy, from 560 to 1.012.
Debt-Free The Army hopes to expand the number even
World will tea- more, perhaps to about 1.300, if the cost can be
ture a speech covered.
Irom the pontiff

and songs by

Reed, as well as

others. reports Nasdaq, Dow turn lower

the New York

Post. NEW YORK — Just before the close of the

JUSTICE

regular trading session, the Nasdaq composite
index is down 29.96 at 3,739.67. The Dow industri-
als have lost 130.30 to 10,994.83. On the New York
Stock Exchange, declining issues lead advancers
1.6451285.

Lewis moves to halt tight

LONDON — After losing his WBA heavy-
weight belt in court, Lennox Lewis is trying to
stop anyone else from ﬁghting for it until his ap
pea] has been heard. Evander Holyﬁeld and John

Ruiz are being lined up to fight for the WBA title
SERVED: Paul which was stripped from Lewis. Holyﬁeld lost the
McCartney's undisputed title to Lewis. who will put up his
new girlfriend, WBC and IBF belts when he ﬁghts Michael Grant
Heather Mills, in New York on April 29.
was awarded
nearly
$320,000 in an °
”WM Bush meets with gays
33:23:“: AUSTIN. Texas — George w. Bush met with
for the 1993 a dozen gay Republicans yesterday as he kept up

accident with a
police motorcy-
cle in which she

his courting of support from outside his party‘s
conservative core. “I'm a better person for the
meeting,“ he declared. The gays he met with,
selected by his campaign. were upbeat. “The goal

:frtdzrllﬁlice was not to change his mind. It was to start a con-
told Reuters on versation,“ said Steve Gunderson, a former
Thursday Republican congressman from Wisconsin.

Compiled from wire reports.

MLSEREAD.

Senate panel
endorses ban
on college bets

ASSOCIAYED PRESS

WASHINGTON — A Sen»
ate committee voted Thursday
to ban betting on college
sports —— a practice legal only
in Nevada w but declined a
challenge from a Nevada sena-
tor to set a nationwide mini-
mum gambling age of 21.

Sen. Richard Bryan, D-
Nev.. accused his colleagues
on the Senate Commerce Com-
mittee of hypocrisy on the is-
sue of gambling by young peo-
ple. He suggested they were in-
terested only in “trying to give
Nevada the shaft.“

The legislation would out-
law betting on Olympic, col-
lege or high school athletic
events. Though there is little
legal betting on the Olympics
and none on high school
sports. Nevada‘s gambling in-
dustry accepts bets on college
sporting events that do not in-
volve a school in the state.

The Nevada gambling in-
dustry took in $2.3 billion in
sports wagers in ﬁscal 1999,
with 30 percent to 40 percent
bet on college sports.

Despite recent requests by
the National Hockey League.
National Basketball Associa-
tion, National Football League
and Major League Baseball to
extend the proposed ban to
professional sports, the com—
mittee focused solely on ama-
teur events.

“Legalized gambling on
kids is wrong.“ said Com-
merce Chairman John Mc-
Cain. R-Ariz. “They should not
be reduced to a point spread
and a spectacle for wagering."

Supporters of the amateur
sports betting ban said it
would help in the broader
fight against illegal gambling
on college campuses. Bryan

said the ban “will have ab-
solutely no impact at all" be-
cause 99 percent of gambling
on college sports occurs ille-
gally on college campuses. not
legally in Nevada casinos. The
committee rejected his amend-
ment to exempt college sports
betting from the ban.

In its report last year, the
National Gambling Impact
Study Commission recom-
mended banning bets on col-
lege sports. It also recom-
mended a nationwide mini-
mum age of 21 to gamble.
which Bryan proposed as an
amendment to the bill. The
committee rejected the propos-
al.

The committee also reject-
ed proposals by Bryan to force
colleges to spend more money
on gambling abuse preven-
tion, to cut off aid to any stu-
dent-athlete caught gambling
illegally. and to step up efforts
to reduce illegal gambling by
students.

Bryan said the National
Collegiate Athletic Associa-
tion, a principal supporter of
the betting ban, and its mem-
ber colleges and universities
worried too much about Neva~
da while doing too little to ad-
dress gambling on campus.

“How serious are we
about this effort?" Bryan
asked rhetorically as his
amendments were rejected.
‘15 this a serious national
problem or isn‘t it?"

Doris Dixon NCAA direc-
tor of federal relations said
representatives travel to cam-
puses for seminars on gam-
bling.

The House has not yet
held hearings on a similar bill
sponsored by Reps. Lindsey
Graham, R-S.C., and Tim Roe-
mer, D-Ind.

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