xt779c6s1q8g https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt779c6s1q8g/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 1981-02-12 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, February 12, 1981 text The Kentucky Kernel, February 12, 1981 1981 1981-02-12 2020 true xt779c6s1q8g section xt779c6s1q8g Ker 61 University or Kentuelti ' .
Vol.LXXXlll.No.106 _ .1 Lexington, Kentucky '. . .
Thursday, February 12,1981 .in In ependcnl student newspaper II II ‘ ~ .
~ — , . I . .
. _ __ _ . x ..
By DEBBIE MCDANIEL In the College of Medicine, where survey concept. were sent out.I'"Thechapter approv- COLLEGE t 0": R ALL DE A N . ' .- ‘IJ ,"_
AssocmteEditor 143 of the 227 full-time faculty "There have been attempts on ed the questionnaire and overall RESPONSE/ VIORALE I , . : . ‘-
© Hm The Kentucky Kernel members answered the survey. 90 other campuses (to show) how you conguct of the survey. Rees said. TOTAL MAILEI) l ‘ Pl‘ehFORMANCE , ,‘ ' , . ' '
re rted their morale as being very 0 about evaluatin deans," said T eresponse rate varied per COl- —,—7—~—_— i '. ' -'-‘
Almost one-half of UK‘s full-time log? 42 rated morale as being lgiochstrasser, g lege. “We had hoped for a 75 to 80 AGRICULTURE ; 3” high. very lugh i 25 ' . ~I‘ .‘
faculty say the morale of faculty in average, with 7 members rating The difference at UK was how to percent return,“ Rees said. "It 30/153 3 28medium 1 45 " ;' :f
their colleges is low, according to morale as high to very high.And,82 evaluate the office, he said. ranged from 45 percent in arts & i 24 low,very low ‘ 7 / i ,7 ,.I
results of a mail survey conducted faculty members said the morale is "There‘s all these governing sciences to W percent in dentistry.“ ' ’ ‘ t ‘ . IL. 1
by the campus chapter 0f the influenced by bOth the dean‘s per- regulations and administrative “Just getting them out of the ALUEDHEALTH i rthighvery high . b. ,r".
American Agociation of Universi- formance and other matters, while regulations which say how the dean envelopes was a big job,“ said 24/33 l 9 medium ‘ 13 ' :“
ty Professors. 43 linked the morale problem to is supposed toproceed. Hochstrasser. l h low very low 5 / I. '.

‘ And in all colleges but two — other problems. “Since they evaluate the faculty “We had about a sixfoot high -~ -. Mr..- "j . . f "it .-

Library Science and Architecture In the College of Business and on how well we perform, we stack of papers, so we separated ARCHITECTURE s high.very high l 3 t 1’ i .' .
— the majority of the faculty said Economics, 30 of thessfaculty who thought maybe the faculty should them into colleges so the keypun- 10/3) i 1 medium l ‘. s
their morale was influenced by answered the survey said their have some views on how these peo- cher could proceed“‘said Rees. t low, very low 6 t, 5: _t._ I: .3
b0th the performance 0t their dean morale was low to very low? 4 ple are performing,“ Hochstrasser After collecting the completed ' ’ ' " " t ' " ‘* .j-I.' ‘
and“other matters.” members said the morale was said. surveys,the AAUP used funds from AR'I‘SsiSCIENCEs 1 ii high, very high zi ‘ 1 ’3? .-

. The Kernel obtainedacopy of the average. And 20 linked the morale The idea for the survey was its treasury to hire a professional 143/318 , a- medium 79 _. e 4;
survey results for each college problem to both performance of the generated from AAUP's gover- data analysistandacomputer pro- . 6y low,very low 33 I 4 j
showing that while approximately dean and other matters. nance committee. The plan went to gramer to perform the keypun- t .. . I . ,
one—third of the faculty polled rate “What we wanted to do was to at the executive committee, which ching and to verify the computer Bl'SlNl-ISS l imediuin 1 c '
the performance of the dean of tain the perceptions of the college made decisions on how to construct data. & ECONOMICS 3 2:3 low, very low 14 , .'
their college as being poor, two— as to how well the dean of their col- the questionnaire and how to relate “By the time all of our expenses 30/55 l ‘ 15 .I " '
thirds said their dean‘s overall per- lege was performing his prescribed uestions to the administrative are totalled up, it will run about . t . ' . t ' r.’ .i, '
formance is good. acceptable or duties and responsibilities" said Segulations. $800," said Rees. “That doesn‘t DEN“5TRY l ’h‘ShtIVe’y ”eh , 4 ‘ ,
outstanding. Rees, who is also a professor 0f After meeting approval from that count faculty time," he said, ad- 49/64 i 22 medium . w .2

The evaluations willbediscussed medicine and pharmacology. body, the survey proposal was ding that faculty members worked i 2. low,verylow 15 x . _ .
today at 3330 at a meeting in the “What he (the dean) (1095 can af- voted on by the entire campus on the survey weekends and even- fl . , t . ' ’
President’s Room of the Student feet our livelihood and our chapter,Rees said. ings EDLCATION : 1t) high,very high 7 e t
Center. The meeting lS open to the careers." The survey return rate for all cole There was no representative 61”” 2‘ medium 3’7 ' .
public. The majority 0f faculty leges was 55.3 percent, according to sample ofthe faculty involved. they i 2'? low, very low 15 x

A 25-question survey was members rated the Performance Of Hochstrasser. said. “Some of the colleges are ' ' " ' t _ . ' . ' l,I ,
developed by the AAUP and mailed the dean of their college as being Questions for the survey were quite small.“ Hochstrasser said, ENGINEERING ‘ ' ' mghj very high 8 ‘ jI' . .. -‘
to 1,261 faculty members in 16 of good, acceptable or outstanding in based on wording in L'K's ade explaining that taking a sample 33/7" i 1‘ medium 36 -. . ’t .
UK‘s 17 colleges. The College of response to a question asking them ministrative regulations regarding would mean only one or two faculty ll low, very low 3 r ; :
Communications was ommitted to rate their dean’s overall perfor- the duties of the University's deans members in the smaller colleges . l, " . hi ‘ .. ,
because it is operating under an ac- mance. Of those responding to the and the operation of a University could have been contacted. This FINE ARTS hhlfiht'el'y 8h 9 I .' . i

‘ ting dean, said Douglass Rees, survey, 389ranked their dean's per ' college. “They're our rules, they're would not be a representative sam- 30/52 “{ medium 17 .v . I 5 '.

former AAUP president. formance as good or acceptable; what wetthe deans and the faculty. ple of the faculty as a whole in the u low 4 / 3.3-” 3
0f the 697 faculty members 115 ranked the performance as have in common," said Rees. small college. ’ " " ‘ "’ ’ ' ‘ ' " ' ‘ " _ f
who returned the survey, 312 outstanding while 172 ranked the “We based it on these fight} “We felt it was particularly im- HOME ECONOMICS , : highvery high , 3 c . I» ,
answered the question, “What performance as being marginal or tions," he said, “the notion being portant to get the input of faculty 22/32 . . , medium . 16 .- _ ‘I 3
W011“ you say is the current state 0t POOP that that was the proper approach who are full-time, tenured or on the h lOW. very low 3 ,l t‘ . :
faculty morale in your college,“ by And, 598 of the 697 faculty to a survey of this reach." The tenure track," said ”3* t. _ .' . . ~;_ ,_
rating morale as being low or very members responding to the survey survey was intended to discover the Hochstrasser "We wanted all the 1A“ ' high: very high ‘ :i s 2 .
low. agree that full-time faculty should “way the faculty perceives the faculty to havea chance." ”/20 0 medium 5 it I' .z I‘ ~
Results showed that 237 of the evaluate the performance of their dean‘s perfonnance and that‘s Hochstrasser said the AAUP 3 low,very low 3 / ~‘
rewndeets 53“? the "male 0‘ deans?" a regular basis “mere- wnetwe reel we surveyed? he said. decided to surveyIfuIll-time faculty Llama scissor; " .iiiigieery high ‘ . i 2'
faculty in their college was ty officials usually evaluate deans lhe survey ”has no ofiicial status on the academic listing. those who 7/13 1 low Yen, low 6 - ~ 1 ,
average, with 122 saying morale every four tosixyears. ti'rom the Universityt.“ said Rees. spent the majority of their time ' ' l ,I . .-
was high or very high. The AAUP‘s survey is unique in “It was done for the faculty " teaching. . i , l ,3 .,
Faculty in the colleges 0‘ style, hm hm lh its basic idea, ac- Work began on the survey in Rees said that Hochstrasser and ; , ,;' ' .
Medicine and Business 8‘ cording to Donald Hochstrasser, March 1980, Rees said. “Drafts Dr. Eugene Gallager, cochairman ‘ 7mgh, veryhigh l5 ‘ l , . I};
Economics overwhelmingly rated allied health professor and co- went through tAAtypi executive of the AAUp governance commit- i 4: medium , 55 ,
their morale as low or very low, chairman of the AAUP governance council and then were approved by tee and a behavioral science pro- ‘ 90 10th very low t 59 t, . l s ,
AAUPresultsshow. committee, which imtiated the the chapter before questionnaires fessor,are professitinallytrainedin NURSING 1 high,ver) high 3 1‘ _. :_ .
survey research. ‘ 6 medium , 10 ,
"We did try to do it within the "3/26 l .1 . _ i. ',
. context of a professionally-based ; s owvery 0“ t a I " ‘ ‘.
' survey," said Hochstrasser. PHARMACY ihigh,very high 1 it
“Because of concern on the part of 20/33 , 7 medium . 10 . t. . ‘ ,
the faculty about anonymity, we ‘ .010“, verylow i '
' ,. ‘ ' l 3 / . ..
did not haveacharicc to followup. A ., . . .. . i ......,_ .. .,.; .- .. . ‘ . .7
I i rhigh,veryhigh . '.e .3.
. Copies of the results have been SOCIAL PROFESSIONS i .J medium 4 ‘ 17' ’.l .v
' distributed to the 16 deans and the. 11/20 1 n l 7 V 3 , .* '
. " administration. Copies will be . ,, _. .4. l . ow, very 10‘” W j;
' w m available at the meeting for 50 7 MI I: 7 _ "WVWJW ,5: ,
A . cents. i outstanding 1: good,acc / marginalpoor .I . ,
.th ' ' ° .i >5.
\.. Parking plan owned by 1nput
' ’ . .",t i‘,‘ 9
ft: - o o ’I'I ’thH.
C . u , "' ._.- . '. x,
, » Legislature must still approve
. . ,.‘ i. Li "5'-
’ I1 4’ By DALE (i. MORTON dation will be approved Since no tax in 1975 as a deterrent. :It ', n ,7.
" Senior Staff Writer money is anOlVE‘d Apparently this was not effective I.
,, If for any reason. parts of the since police records show only a ,3:
I V ‘ —————-———-————————-- plan are dlenied aplfzjmg’al. 81ml: slight decrease in illegal parking "Li“.
+- ' tingency pa“ “'0“ ave 0 after the increase in fines - “J ‘1'”:
' - 3 ‘* and IYSIS made, One possibility would be to In 1979 University officials realiz» , ‘ .3"-
. . in return theImoney to the students. ed a need for other solutiom and i .' ;
I k ‘ i ‘ Blgntinsaid. l t' f' the t again contracted Harlande ._‘ f' f
‘ Vi ’ v n. , - . , ar ing regua “m "3 gan a Bartholomew toconductastudy. 9,“ “_ ' .,
r" ' ‘ "’3 ‘33.. 3.35313} :iiiceffiit’isil UK in 1966- SW9” were 15.5"“ i" The consulting firm analyzed - .‘
i \ _ * . i p rking study This Sim. , contains an attempt to control parking. At projected enrollment figures and ‘. ,-
' . ° ti :1): obsgervations on the pgrking pm- the same time' plans were made ‘0 current demand for parking Space " ‘1
\ . .9 4': «Lind I ' ‘vl tl . d b , the overhaul the system over the before submitting the recent $20,000 »,
"”"$‘ min: S "we" " I.“ e *‘ following few years. .. ti ‘. - ~ .
‘ -~ Department of Public Safetv. plan for staged improvemen 5- . _- .' .- i
\I . . , ' , . ' Harland-Bartholomew and From this proposal UK se19‘:th the . .. ,'
5*” W Associates, a top parking consul- recently announced plan - ‘, ..
I ' ~ 3‘»; Few people will argue that there tant firm located in Memphis. A key factor delaying the plan's - . ,1 'II
R —. ., . is a need to improve UK‘s current Tenn, was hired to develop a com- implementation was the in- ‘. . .. I. iI a
parking system. However, the best prehensive plan to deal with pro- stallment of a $31000 computer -: .- .3“,
A H .. J method of improvement is current- jected parking needs. ed UK system. By computerizmg traffic '. I ‘ I,
‘ ff ly being debated. This study was present to records, UK ho to increase col- t ,I .
°” ’ 9’ 10 out _ By BL‘RTLADD/Kernelaa It is not hard to locatea parking in 1971. but it did not result in lectionoffinesbfipercent. '

UK Police Officer John Ketron looks on as Lex- knocked unconscious for 10 minutes. Police said lot which does not contain illegally- noticeable action by the parking At the time. campus police were ‘ffl -.
ington paramedics attend to fellow officer Glenn the cruiser was struck from behind by a Ford parked cars. Equally difficult is the department. issuing approximately 850 tickets _ . ‘I!
Ellis, 39. Ellis was directing traffic around a truck, which was rearended by an Oldsmobile ability to prevent overcrowding University officials chose only to each week and towing 3000 cars -. _~ t .
three-car accident involving his cruiser when he Qitlass. He was taken to the AB. Chandler found in these lots. accommodate the needs of the each year. ‘~
slipped on some ice yesterday afternoon. He was Medical Center and is in satisfactory condition. A proposal recently released by faculty and students at that time in- The computer system, put on-line . , .-

. . UK‘s Department of Public Safety stead of attempting to regulate in- in May 1%. was the second of its . '

__——— Peter Fltz erald new wrector attempts to 50lve overcrowding by creased demand for Parkmg Space type in Kentucky and was one of the ~ 9 ‘

lnsue g decreasing the “demand for Officials now admit there was a most upeto-date in the country ; t .

_ , space/available space" ratio. The “flaw" in the original plan. Elec- Binding for the computer system 'I ‘ -
0f UK S afice OfBudget proposal advocates increasing ting to meet demand as it arose, in- came from state funds. . , _

Las Vegas police arrested a parking sticker fees to offset a stead of preparing for the future. improvements in the parking ‘ .
busboy and charSetTI him With Peter Fitzgerald has been named said. He said it was important to three-year construction plan, which was aprimary cause of the current system are generally financed _ ~ ,‘
murder and arson in thehotel fire the acting budget director for UK. find someone to succeed Ed Carter, would increase available parking inability to meet parking needs through the University‘s General I“ .
which killed eight people may He will serve in that position at the former budger director. space by 2.699 spaces. . One reason for the UniverSity's Rind. praideht Otis Singletary . . -
night.Seepage8for details. least through July_ said Donald became the University is in a . The plan would also bring park- lack of action was temporary relief and the Board of Trmtees control ‘. _ .

Clapp, vice president for ad- “critical period“ in regard to mak- ing rates toa comparable level With gained by the construction of Com- distribution of thefund. . ‘ _ ‘

Q “le ministration, who announced the ing its budgets for the next two other benchmark institutions. monwealth Stadium. Replacing Money collected from parking . .

__- appointment. years. Before construction can be Stoll Field in 1973, thestadium pro- tickets 806 into the fund and is ~

It will be sunny and cold today Fitzgerald has served as director started. UK must have “firm“! 0‘ “ded 3‘30" additional parking returned to the parking department _
with a high in the low to mid 2m. Fitzgerald, the present director of policy and operations analysis mgflgsge‘flgmgmm 59:33am people continued to through General final allotrlllentsl , .
Ti l'lht willbecleer and notascold of the office of Policy and Opera- smce coming to UK in January 1976 a . . ~ . ~ I However, this process is not a ways

- A l sis was selected from the University of Maine Jack Blanton. UK s "“9 presi- park illegally ’ the primary correlated on a dollar-perdollar - .
with . low in m: mid teammt: 01:; Eggjme :fahls familiarity with the Where he served as assistant to the dent for business affairs. said he is reason being convenience. Parking basis.

{Swaskbempxdgthmy a ‘ University and its operation, Clapp president. 99 percent certain the recommen- fines were increased from $2 to $5 Continued on p“, 7 .

y ,. . , I r I

 1 I I l . M*—
editorials * I \
' f i New Mame) 51'0“ Robinson (hrl- Ash John (‘lly l er) Willis Tom Mann ‘1 7'
. lullitor in One] Editorial Editor Anne (hula Sports Editor Entertainment Editor Picture Editor
. 1 Debbie McDaniel
. _ 4 Auonate Editors DavidCoyle
CO e n t S i J") “*hfll‘ Chief Photographer
I I II I | , . Managing hdiior \lut‘roui-h Steve lawther Lin Wallace
‘ > ‘ VicklPoole Refill-ll DonnieWaqrd Ed Assistant Entertainment Editor ”Imam“
K In: Arr-mini Acmrf nil-nun All i. i|nl\ and “Winn!“ I rum uni UDIflllllh should hr hunt. Illph" l Jflt'li‘RWM Assmum Day Edam 3:: 35:2“ Assistant . ports nor StaflArtilt
. spurt! Ind imluilr mum '(‘\l|’(‘"\| and piuuu iihiiiiliulmn illiludmg l I III for \Iudrnh and l I D‘“ Edm” Bill Steiden
, "uptown lrllrh «mum or llllllllll in :00 mulls .iiil ilvlllllilh and \Ibllllllrflh Ill lam words I Senior Slat'fWriiers
. . , . . ., .....V._'____~_.. e_~_ ,, _.-_h———_~—_§‘_ . - .
‘ U . .t 1111 t bSO I) further budget ClltS
‘ , ‘ When UK President Otis Singletary ad- enough to warrant Singletary‘s warnings to damaging the little prestige UK still retains and Tuesday, Singletary nominated the
-. , . dressed the Council for Higher Education the CHE. in the academic world. CHE as primeadvocate.
- Tuesday. he really let them have it. Brown's state-wide freeze on capital con- Capital construction projects could be Although the presidents of Kentucky’s
' ' g And when he was finished speaking, the struction projects precluded the con— further delayed, and further faculty and public universities are no longer permitted
' 5' .members were visibly shaken. struction on campus of several badly- staff salary increases could fall by the to serve as non-voting members of the coun-
, ‘ . . ’ . It wasn‘t so much the way Singletary needed buildings, perpetuating space shor- wayside. cil, as per the Governor’s revamping of that
. . . .- ' delivered his message. although he was the tages which may endanger the accredita- However, all these speculative tragedies organization in July, Singletary emphasiz-
. , » ‘ picture of conviction, making points with tion of major programs such as pharmacy. pale in importance when it is considered ed that both groups must pull together to
_.' ,_ j . . 2 broad gestures and emotion in his voice. An $11.2 million cut to UK’s overall that further losses could lead to the elimina- preserve what the little support higher
' . ~ What really affected the council was the budget for 1980-81 forced the University ad- tion of the University’s weaker depart- education still has. Most important, he told
- - message he delivered: higher education in ministration to reduce, and in some cases, merits and colleges, such as communica- the members that they “must make an ef-
' " . . Kentucky cannot withstand another round eliminate programs that had in the past tions and social professions. fort to remian informed” about the issues ,
' i . . of budget cuts without suffering severe contributed to the University’s prestige and . facing Kentucky’s schools.
,. reductions in the quality of education. appeal,particularly research. Brown has already demonstrated his That goes for students, too. It is their
' ; And despite the delivery of promised willingness to realize the above scenario, right tobeeducated that is endangered, and
. f, _, However, given the expected deficit in salary increases to the faculty, Singletary and nothing in the constitution .of theCom- as any con man knows, the more naive the
' , i . . state revenues for 1981-82 (perhaps more said he has Witnessed “the lowest morale monwealth 0f Kentucky requires him t0 “pigeon,”the eaSier it IS to put one over. _
. , :‘ than $131 million) and Gov. John y, ever“ in his long association with higher maintain a public system of higher educa- Left unchallenged, Brown, pursumg the
- j Brown's already disproportionate cuts to education. tion institutionsIn short,he Will most likely shortsighted goals that have characterized
-' " the budget for higher education this year, continue. to carve away at education his administration, might prov1de Kentucky
‘ . .' more reductions seem inevitable. In the butcher's parlance, all the fat has because it’s easy to do, and so far there With the greatest chain of K-marts and
' ' Furthermore. the actual percentage of been trimmed away, and now it's time to go have been no effective attempts to stop him. stripmines ever seen by man. But when the
' the state general fund allocated for educa- for the lean. ’ To quote one of the lesser sages, “an In- coal runs out, there Will be nothing to take
. tion is falling, from a high of 19.5 percent in More cuts next year could result in huge fallible method of conc111ating’a tiger is to its place. . _ ' ..
- . ._ the 1972-74 biennium to 17,2 percent for 1980— tuition increases —- perhaps as much as 25 allow oneself to be devoured _’ .— nothing As Singletary put it, “soc1ety must deCide
.7 32 _ before the cuts. percent, and a proportionate raise in the can be preserved through passmty. Higher if higher education is worthwhile. It must be
. The consequences posed for L'K by this cost of room and board. education in Kentucky needs to be defended regarded as a form .of investment. Ig-
' ‘ year's $114 million deficit were more than Research may be cut back further, from Brown’s carniverous administranon, noranceis more expenswe.”
° G ' l t t th f t
I Weather fOFGCaSllhg IS a jor winter storm with up to 10 in» was hoping classes would be one to three inches; then four to six equipment valued atszoo.
' . marvelous thing. The National ches of frozen while stuff expected. canceled. I said to myself, inches; then five to eight inches.” Well, not really. But somebody
- ; ., . Weather Service and independent But at the end of the forecast he ”Perhaps,Cary,itwould have been Before the afternoon was over, probably did, and think of the
. ~' . meteorologists who work for media it added a wise disclaimer: "But then wise for you to do the term paper the neighborhood kids were really disappointment he or she had to go
* ,, outlets keep us all up to date as to COIY ' y ‘0. again," he said. “A year ago today that was due today and study for enjoying the foot of snow. through.
.4 ,‘ , . . what will or will notbefalling from * t ‘4 I was saying the same thing, so your quiz.” [realize meteorology is a tricky Iguess we snow fans will get over
. 4' , ' the sky. _ _ ‘41 take my forecast with a grain of About 8 o'clock the snow science. While techniques and ac- it, though. Maybe the next time
. ‘ - Occasionally. they make a Wlllls w *3 ‘ salt." started—— just enough to make it a curacy have made huge advances they start predicting a ferocious
j ._ : mistake Like last year about this R" Aha. royal pain in the ass walking in the past few years, nature is still cold wave, we’ll have sunshine and
, 4 time. when we were hearing things Still, being the foolish snow-lover and/or dn'ving. But hey! No pro too unpredictable to pin down. 70 degrees. That’sa mistakelcould
‘ . ', .‘ such as "Winter Storm Warmng: ' ' . . that lam, I began listening to every blem. But I mean, my roommates and] live with.
- . Heavy snow expected today and forecast I could, waiting for the Irecalla snowstorm about 10 were expecting a major storm
. f i tonight with accumulations of 6-10 Ditto for this week I went to bed blizzard to hit, Yesterday morning. years ago. The good people at the yesterday, So we went out and
' - inches Blowing and drifting of Monday night as predictions were I looked outside and saw hmm, weather service were anticipating bought nearly $800 worth of .
.' ., : snow may make highway travel calling for clear skies and nothing. Nothing at all. Zero. Your partly cloudy skies and maybe a groceries, two heavy-duty snow
_ . , ., hazardous. THIS IS A VERY moderating temperatures through proverbial zilchville. few snow flurries, but nothing shovels,an $1800 snowmobile,three
' . i. DANGEROL'S STORM ” about Fridayor so. The next morn Lots of wind. clouds galore. a significant. Once the snow started. dozen candles, 30 new novels to Cary Willis is the entertainment
_' _ We ended up with a few light ing Ken Schultz 0f WHAS radio in windchill temperature of at least a the forecasts changed about once read, two months' worth of soap editor. His column appears every ~
. - _ ~. snow flurries. Louisville was talking about a ma- million below but no snow. And I an hour: “Less than an inch; then and toothpaste and some exercising other Thursday.
— 6 en 0 t e we rot erS° rea erS deczde
._ :g C
' _’ This 151! The Fl-‘V'AlleplSOde 0‘ Ending Oht‘ . the city‘s highest honor, season my belongings to Burbank, wherel state began it’s slow decent intothe
' ' .' the Roach Brothers and Uncle Ned , tickets to the Lakers games. I now sit on the panel almost every ocean.
,_ . I large round of applause from the During our search through the _ declined the gift and instead had weeknight with Johnny and Ed, Luckily I was next to the Right-
‘ ,. .\ '. L" studio audience ‘ streets of LA 31 made a landmark 3C0” Tom call the Right-Way Moving Way Marine Sales. I hopped on a
j .‘ But this column is gomg to be a discovery: We were lost (‘lyde . 6 . Company. Its goons shipped all my Ending four cabin cruiser, hot-wired it and
'- little different than the previous suggested shooting down a side , _ . belongings to Key West, where 1 when the water was deep enough
: , . two it‘s what [call a partiCipation street to finda ma'nroad. Idid,and owens a now live, humming quarters for We stopped at a gas station for sailed to the newly formed coast of _
. ;.,__' 4, column I'll give youa choice of en- that's when we first saw the old ‘ beer. refueling. I sat down on the New Mexico, where I now run a
I. .. . . dings to this scenario and you select woman. sidewalk and skimmed the combination beachfront motel/putt
‘ . the one that best suits your per- She was a kodiak-lookin' hag, Ending three newspaper.About halfway through puttgolfcourse.
' sonal tastes In other words. figure about 19feet tall. Cradled in her left “Dear Abby,” I chanced to glance
" out the most humane way to kill arm was a full grown Great Dane While combing the streets of at Clyde sitting in the car, smoking
‘ ' these guys before they kill me. and in her right hand. a .357 and manage a chain of Convenient LA, we heard on the radio that Un- a cigarette. Racing through my Well, there you go. The choice is
Before we get started. allow me Magnum. Stretched out on the Food Martsontheside. cle Ned had been found, dead. He'd mind was one thought: “Is he uptoyou.I'msureyou’llfindoneof
. ' f _ .. '_ to it“ In those 0f YOU fortunate pavement before her was none been discovered mauled to death on stupid enough to throw that these endings to your liking
. enough to have missed last week's other than Uncle Ned. In his right Ending two the inside of the L.A. Dog Pound, cigarette out the window while the because each one kills those guys,
i. . ' . happenings hand was a 503196" in his 10“» half where he had attempted to ad- attendant is filling up the car?” and puts me in another geographic
:5 3 li ‘ I'ncle Ned had left the ghetto for his head the old lady had blovm off Finally, after hours of driving, minister lobotomies to the caged The butt seemed to be moving in location. That, of course, means
Q 1'". L A to resume his previous occupa- tdraslic hags take drastic we saw Uncle Ned walking along a canines. slow motion as it flew through the you won’t be subjected to the tor-
3.. '1 - tion as a brain surgeon. The Roach measures 1. Los Angeles street. Being a dog Hearing this news made us feel _ air. By the time the first explosion lure of reading my column (deafen-
j ' ' .. 2 ~ Brothers and I were in hot pursuit. Seeing this, The Roach Brothers lover, Iwas enraged at what he had well, hungry. So, The Roach came, I had taken cover in a ditch. ing roar of applause fromthestudio
’ ,' 1,, The rent was due. sprang from the car, grabbed the done to those poor pups sol pulled Brothers got out of the car and My car, The Roach Brothers, the audience).
()n the road,we came acrOss hun~ old hag‘s gun and committed out a sawedoff shotgun and pro— headed for the closest fast food attendant and the whole gas station Actually, the reason I'm giving
5,1 - L dreds of lobotomized cows, telling suicide on the spot (another large ceeded to waste Uncle Ned in his palace, which was just across the werea mass of flames. youachoice is because what really
' It - ,_ us we were on the right track. Upon round of applause from the studio tracks. Stunned, the Roach street. As they crossed the in- Itried to make it toaphone booth happened was like the rest of this ~
1’ ' , our arrival in L A . I picked up a audience; Brothers hesitated at first, then tersection, I heard an approaching to call the Right-Way Moving Com- series—boring.
. _- : newspaper with the followmg My reaction” W9“- 1 backed the gave me a standing ovation. But “ding,ding." Before I could say pany. but halfway there the around So, as you return to the world of
. .' 'I» ’_ headline: “(‘razed Fiend car out of the alley. found the main when I saw their nasty feet on my “flatter than Brooke Shields," a began to rock violently. It was an books and classes, keep one thing in
,' ., Lobotomizes 2.000 Dogs; Parents road and headed back to the ghetto. car‘s white interior, I became Good Humor Man, crazed by the earthquake to end all earthquakes. mind. Next week has got to be bet-
;:4 7 Fear Puppy Paralyzer “ L'ncle The moment I walked through the enraged, turned and blew them heckling from little kids, had plow- Buildings. highways, bridges - ter.
.‘ ;; -. Ned was in town and it was our door. I called the Right-Way Mov- away too. edthem over. everything was just crumbling.
:~,‘: if ‘f' quest lofind him ing (‘ompany and had everything I When he heard of the incident, I immediately ran to a phone Afteraminute or two,therumbling Scott Owens is a telecommunica-
”VII"; 1 Now for what you‘ve all been owned sent to South Africa. I am Tom Bradley, mayor of LA, rush- booth and called the Right-Way ceased. The quake seemed to be tions senior. His column appears
1." .. waiting for now chief of a cannibalistic tribe ed to the scene to present me with Moving Company. They Shipped all over, but about that time, the entire every Thursday.
1 . .
n .- . "3'.
I . . i '._i ' II "fi
, , WV! How Do you 30%". _./ ,yi me, HERE comes AN an.
. I, a ’ n I 4 .
hep. SPELL “EFFICIENT? SURE. , ... memoaz , HE OUC-li'l' 72> know. .
. . e. . ‘ . i ." / 'x u (‘d
. . .7 \l‘ ’ l‘ ‘\ ‘ . , N
."l .h 'I .I l l V /‘ ' h .-: . . :-:-. \
r ' . . ' . .2232?aisijiaiiiélsffi553253325 ;.
" i / ’ s
.. , ’0‘ \ .. ‘I'.
, 1 - ‘ I l’d' " ,.’
, , / " “~1—"lf \ \ / / I 0“" l \ \
I ‘ . .

 y .
__._._———————-————-—————_ .
\ . lhc Ar'nmrA l' lu'rm'l 2W Journalism Hiiilding. l‘nncr-
" \ll\ ill Kcnliitk}. lc\iiigtnn. K) 40506. I\ published each 1’ .
i‘liiss d.i\ tlllllllg the spring and lull \L'llll‘\lt.‘f\ iind “Ct-kl) '
diiiiiig llit- \llllllllL‘l session .
lliiiil class pustugc pilltl iii lc\ingiiiii. Kciiliich Ml‘ll '

. \Lihxtiiptimi min iiic mailed 82“ war Slilllt) \L‘lllL'\lL'l ‘ -
Mtfigmmtvwarlgt:xflzmfilgllgxrlg Parking proposals 8501) it)! \iiiriliici m illlL' L't'ni pci \L'iil nionemuilcd ._ " '
5:33;;mrry and “eliminate libelous material. and may condense or Harry Sherman ’

. Advertising Mgr.
study in misconception. A few of us don t understand why so many peo-
Discrimmation In at least six instances, Mr. Lowther referred ple are against the proposed UK parking plans. Jim Blake DaVld W. Smith , . .1 .
to alumni as the cause of vast silence in some gildumhisfiigtmzmiflifld ltdeunutralili‘smlli; Production Mgr. Adv. Production Mgr. .' . .
areas of the arena,s ificall Sections 13-17. . .. ' ‘ . - .- ‘ . .,

. A proposed amendment to the Student Associa- Mr. Lowther‘s pig: was basically sophomoric, paViliions, new Student Centers. and Sidewalks . e_ .
tion Will discriminate against LTI students. Under but even sophomores should be realistic. or at are not cheap. . . . , . . ,_
this amendment no LTl student maybe a senator- least factual and grammatically correct. Our suggestions for other revenue-raismg “ . .. . r
at-large or a freshman senator. LT] is allowed on- Though he blames “alumni“ for not getting ex- measures are. . .
ly twohflsuilastors. tors tlar . the Stud t cited and cheering at UK games, nowhere doeshe 1 Is t’ k f doo St' k ll ,1 '.

'I‘her _. tare sena -a - ge in en say that he made any sort of survey to deter