xt77sq8qfh9b https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt77sq8qfh9b/data/mets.xml University of Kentucky Fayette County, Kentucky The Kentucky Kernel 19670208 newspapers sn89058402 English Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, February 8, 1967 text The Kentucky Kernel, February 8, 1967 1967 2015 true xt77sq8qfh9b section xt77sq8qfh9b Inside Today's Kern id

St
Vol. 58, No.

Editorial comments on the peace lost
this week: Page Four.

of Kentucky
UniversityWEDNESDAY,
LEXINGTON,
l7

O.J

The Michigan faculty has been osked
to investigate The Michigan Daily
Page Si.

Student Council at the Univerha set up a nonprofit bookitore: Pogc Three.
The

sity of Louisille

KY.,

FEU. 8,

Eight

Soapbox writer is amused by the Quit
Bowl: Page Fic.

Iigcs

Dr. Amry Vandenhosch predicts black
rule within 20 yeors in South Africa
Page

Secn.

Student Government endorses the stu
dent rights code: Pogc Eight.

HOUSEMOTHERS ASK
A WS TO TIGHTEN UP
PRESENT HOUR PLAN
visor, told The Kernel she thought
t he revocat ion of privileges would
vary in length of time according
to the situation, and that women would have the right to appeal decisions to their hall councils and, if necessary, "on up"
to the Dean of Women's office.
The Senators were generally
in sympathy with the older women. One freshman said "maybe
I'm too old fashioned" but added
she felt many women were get-

By HELEN McCLOY
Kernel Staff Writer
Let's tighten up the curfew
ship before sailing on extended

waters.

Eleven housemothers and

i; U! C"

head residents brought the mesf;
sage to the senate of Associated
j
Women Students Tuesday in a
r
discussion of present
privileges. Continued evaluaI
Li
iL.U.lM
JktJ
in ... .nim.,
,
tion of the November AWS hours
Kernel Photos by Chris Fflum
A Haggin Hall resident, Wayne VVesterman, left, bedecked with poll was postponed until next
signs was among the many out later Tuesday night in a surprise Tuesday's meeting.
move to impeach the dorm's president, Mike Luschcr, right.
After a lengthy talk among
the women and AWS senators,
AWS President Connie Mullins
asked for a show of hands on
r
hours
objection to
as opposed to objection to the
ways they arc implemented. No
hands went up.
Mrs. Kathryn Roberts, head
A bomb loaded with old campaign promises was dropped on
resident in Keeneland Hall, sumHaggin Hall Student Government President Mike Luscher late marized the arugment as not
Tuesday night by some 25 domiitory residents demanding his res against the freedom accorded women students, but against their
ignation.
The
group also seemed
The protest, against an al- to back protest for Luscher's seat. abuse of it.
Arnett
The women cited the safety
leged inactive dormitory govern- When a student government repment, had overtones of a poli- resentative asked, "Wlio do you of their charges and the welfare of the women who must
tical power play and added cri- want if we
impeach Luschcr?"
ticism for Student Congress and the
the vice wait up for them in speaking of
reply came, "Usually,
its president, Carson Porter.
"irresponsible" uses of late pritakes over."
the demonstration's president told the
One of
wish vileges. They spoke of sophoArnett
group, "I
leaders, Bob Surface, burned his Haggin would get off their backs more women taking unlawful curfew privileges, women staying
University activities card at the and do something."
out past the time they signed
in Haggin's upper
meeting
The matter was complicated
out for, the burdens placed on
lounge. Other students carried by a complete lapse of parliroommates who must wait up.
signs depicting: "Mike Luscher: amentary procedure with both
Some of the senators, who
The Carson Porter of Haggin"
groups creating noise and being
and "Resign Now."
warned by student government were also concerned with the
house a housemother must keep,
(The student liolding the for- officials several times to be quiet.
mer sign could not identify
A motion was made to bring said they knew of "many" cases
Carson Porter when asked by an formal
of privilege abuse. The housecharges against Luscher,
observer).
but the government was at the mothers spoke in terms of single
Whether or not the protest time considering a new constiinstances. Mrs. Roberts said the
offenders were "definitely a miwas intended to impeach Luscher, tution which then had no imit did much for Vice President
nority" in mentioning two probpeachment clause.
lems she had last week in a
Vance Arnett's image. Arnett,
Later, when the representahall of 409 women.
along with Surface and Mike tives adopted the new constituMiss Mullins told the women
Fowler, led the debate against tion, an amendment was proLuscher, continually attacking posed for impeachment procedthey had the right to revoke prihis failure to achieve anything ures. The amendment would vileges from misusers. The Sensignificant during his
allow a week's delay between ate did not stipulate how or to
what extend this should be done,
term in office.
the time fomial proceedings bebut Miss Mullins said she hoped
"Mike hasn't been doing his
gin and a vote is taken. A
housemothers and head residents
job," Arnett told the assembly,
vote is necesssry tor imwould take the matters to their
"but I won't go so far as to say peachment.
impeachment is the answer."
The protest seemed to take hall advisory councils.
Miss Sandra Kemp, AWS ad
Continued On Pare 8

junior-senio-

Haggin Residents Try
Surprise Impeachment

five-mont-

junior-senio-

By NEIL SHEEHAN
c) New York

open-hea-

rc
ffeVL TH

( Jy

4M
.

Unfulfilled campaign promises,
the residents of Haggin Hall
charged, were behind the move
to impeach the dorm's president.

sniffles.

Scientists at pharmaceutical concerns,
government laboratories, universities, and
other research centers are attacking the
overall problem on many fronts. They are
growing viruses in the lab, testing vaccines
in man, watching viruses come and go in
communities, and matching virus against

Times News Service

The President's Commission on the Draft will
recommend drafting youngest men first instead of the oldest and
will propose that the gradual abolition of student deferments be
given strong consideration, informed sources said Tuesday.
The commission will alsorec- - mendation will be carefuny rea.
,
ommend that those youths clas- T.
minnrif
vipwnnint
fit for service-- be on this
sified as
issue will also be exchosen for military duty by tensively treated in the report,
a random selection process.
the sources said.
Under the current Selective
The
commission,
Service System, youths below the
officially known as the National
age of 26 who has been classiAdvisory Commission on Selecfied
are, in principle, drafted tive Service, was appointed
in the order of their birth date,
Johnson last July and
with the oldest going first.
is expected to send its report
The resolve to weight the re- to the White House within two
port towards the ultimate elim- weeks.
ination of educational deferments
The group, headed by Burke
was arrived at by a slim majoriMarshall, former chief oft he Civil
ty on the commission after often Rights Division at the Justice
acrimonious argument that deepDepartment, held its last meetly divided the group. The proing at the end of January. The
posal is also expected to be the final draft of the report is
commission's most radical and
completed by the commiscontroversial recommendation.
sion staff and will be sent to
It is understood that much of each commissioner for his apthe report will be devoted to the
proval by the end of this week.
question of student deferments
The sources said the
and that the commission's recom- On Pafe 2
W AS H I NGTON

now-bein-

two-thir- ds

By DICK KIMMINS
Doctors can now transplant human organs
that have been rendered inoperable;
surgery is now commonplace; severed
limbs can now be either reinstalled or replaced; but the common cold remains virtually incurable.
Colds make up more than 40 percent of
all the acute infections of the nose, throat,
and lungs. Colds account for at least half
of all acute illnesses in the nation year after
year. Thirty to fifty percent of all the time
lost from work can be attributed to colds,
and between 60 to 80 percent of the school-timlost for children is due to a case of

not yet reject sophomore hours,
and let s make what system we
do have work better."
Mrs. Roberts said that "girls
with below a 2.0 seem to be
the biggest offenders." Miss Mullins said, "Girls have the rifcht
to stay out seven nights a week
until 6 a.m., but you have the
power to couascl them." Incases
Continued On Page 3

Draft Report To Favor
Student Deferment End

AH, AH CHOO.

away with

things they
"wouldn't do if at home." She
advocated limits to occasions
hours privileges could be used for.
There was general approval,
and applause from the house and
dorm mothers, when Sen. Barbara
Rates said, "I see no ifs, ands
or buts about it. I don't know
how late hours can even be con
ting

sidered for sophomores if juniors
and seniors can't handle them."
She said her housemother in Pi
Reta Phi sorority "doesn't hesitate" to deny permission for what
she considers unreasonable requests.
Jonell Tobin said she believed
sophomores "are as reasonible
and some more so" than juniors
and seniors. Johnnie Cross received support in saying, "Let's

commis-Continue- d

liul Still No Cure For The Cold

disease and seeking clues to the puzzle of the academic year, is the time people are
most likely to catch a cold.
human resistance or lack of it.
"We notice a little hump from late SepMuch of the progress has been recent.
A decade ago scientists agreed that a virus
tember to early October, and then we get
did indeed cause a cold, but they were un- a few more cases right after Christmas.
able to isolate one particular virus and Students must pick up a virus at home and
label it the cause of colds.
bring it back."
Evidence that there are different types
Today, doctors face a different kind of
embarassment; there are too many viruses. of colds, and therefore different types of
Altogether, there appears to be at least 400 viruses that cause them, has become noticeable to Dr. Gordon. "About every two or
h
known vinises that affect man. Fully
of these may be capable of causing a three weeks, w e notice a change in the kind of
cold. A large percent of our cases will be
cold.
This multiplicity of cause is one reason similar. This trend changes about every two
experts label "common cold" an unfair name or three weeks.
even though the disease is familiar to every"January is a particularly bad month for
one.
colds. The nose colds are especially prevalent
Dr. Wayne Cordon of the University during this time period. Those have just
Health Service, says "we can only treat the about subsided not, however."
the sore throat,
Dr. Gordon says the Health Service can
symptons, the runny-nosmake the nose feel a little better, can loosen
the cough. We just can't cure it."
Dr. Cordon agreed that there is a season up the mucus, and reduce the inflammation
to colds. "Usually from September to May, of the throat, "but we can't cure it."
one-sixt-

* 2

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL, Wednesday, It1.

Draft Commission Narrowly Against Student Deferments

abolishing such deferments and
those who believed that the inequities roil Id be removed by
better administration of deferments.
For example, the sources said
there was virtual unanimity that
it is unfair to allow deferments
for graduate students to become
actual exemptions from service,
throughout the commission's
as is now the case. Defense Dehearings and discussions since
have shown that
last fall, the sources said. Hut partment studies
the majority of graduate students
the problem provoked vigorous
avoid service through
debate at the group's last two manage to
deferments until they reach the
meetings in the middle, and at
f
age of 26, the effective
the end, of January.
for the draft.
The commission is a diverse point
It was only after most of the
group, composed of civil rights
meeting had been
leaders, educators, clergymen,
devoted to the subject and a
former government officials, and
of the final meetbusiness executives. It was only good portion
ing that a decision was reached
natural, the sources said, that
a slim majority to urge that
the group would reflect the deep by
the eventual abolition of studivision within the country on
dent deferments be given strong
this subject.
consideration.
It is understood that the deThis recommendation will be
bate finally resolved into a rough
division between those who felt supported by the corollary probe
that the
that the inequities in the current posals first and beyoungest
chosen by a
drafted
deferment system could
student
best be eliminated by progressive- - random selection process.
Under this system, all youths
who were physically and men2nd
tally qualified would be exposed
or
Week! to the draft at before
19 years of age
they have
chosen
their career
HELD
firmly
patterns.
OVER!
Those who were not drafted
through the random selection prov AWARD Tj
cess could be reasonably certain
that they could begin their coly.WINNER C5
lege education without interruption except in event of a national
emergency; while those w ho were
drafted could begin their higher
education when they had completed military service.
Some educators have con- PLUS
Continued From Page 1
sion lias completed its discussions, however, and any further
changes in the report will he
limited to refining the language
in order to more accurately express the group's findings.
The question of student deferments was a leading issue

cut-of-

commission will not recommend
a specific random select ion process.
Another of the commission s
will conmajor recommendations
sist of specific proposals to
achieve uniformity in the administration of the present Selective

tended that drafting youths at
the youngest possible age would
have the least disruptive effect
on the higher education process.
Military officials have also asand
serted that
youths are in general
more amenable to military training and have greater physical
stamina than older youths.
Under the great demand for
manpower created by the Vietnam war, most draftees arc now,
in fact, being taken between the
ages of 19 and 20 years old.
It is understood that the

Service System.
There will also be proposals
for reforms in the recruitment
Guard
systems of the National
and other reserve components
to eliminate the alleged favoritism in accepting recruits during
the Vietnam war.

Classified advertisements, 9 cents per
word ($1.00 minimum) .
Deadline for acceptance of classified
copy is 3 p.m. the day preceding publication. To place classified ad come to
Room 111 or 113, Journalism Dldg.
Advertisers of rooms and apartments listed in The Kentucky Kernel
have agreed that they will not Include,
as a qualifying consideration in deciding whether or not to rent to an
applicant, his race, color, religious
preference or national origin.

Both
Call

Must have

FOR

$195.

Call

woman to work with outside "commercial Jiccounting" firm to conduct
studies on
bookstores.
Little time and no experience re8Flt
quired.
non-prof- it

8F5t

p.m.

FOR SALE 1905 305 Honda Scrambler; good condition, new tires and
sprockets. S500 or best offer. Call ex-

RENT
Furnished
apartment. Across street from UK
Med Center. $125 monthly. Living
room, dining room, kitchen, bath.

FOR

tension

f!TZ3 it cwticoioRs

g23

pmvisioN

8Flt

4044.

2F7t

Call

TYi'ING

Omens

F3t

(1213.

SALE 1950 Chevrolet.
metallic blue. ( cylinder, straight
shift. Good tires, condition. Must
or inquire at
sell. $125. Call
r,F2t
Holly Tree Manor, Apt. 214.
FOR SALE 1903 Austin Princess 3
Litre MK II. Perfect condition; black,
red leather interior, automatic; new
shocks ;;nd battery; excellent tires;
power steering, many other extras.
after 0:30
Must sell. Call

FOR RENT

hinh on a wooded bluff
overlooking a winding stream with
i sweeping view of bluegrass countryside. Two bedrooms, two screened porches, two balconies, fireplace,
carpet, terrace,
and carport.
Newly constructed with all modern features. Private and secluded.
I'nique and luxurious living
at any price in this area.
In the country, yet only II minutes from IK, Si;."! per month
unfurnished.
or
offer 5 p.m.
Nestled

299-173- 9

T
SALE!
SAVE S3.00

KENTIC'KIAN
WHILE

7F4t

THEY

The

VMM

LAST

ROOM 110. JOI KNALIS.I REIKI.
$5.00 each

Fireplace

A UNIQUE SOUND FOR
SOCIALS, PARTIES, JAMS

1st OUTDOOR SHOWING!

277-662-

277-743-

Cosmo &
The Counts

PERSONAL

One Of Hours

299-406- 6

CI.OSE-OI-

TYfiNU expertiy and promptly done
in my nomc. experience legal, technical, academic. Phone

Tunerai"Beriin

1959

FOR

man

COUNTRY

Moon, 10'x5fi";

Chevy, automatic
heater. Good engine.

SALE

trans. Radio,

to share apartment.
S. Limestone. Hollv
Call
8Flt
Young

ATTENTION
COEDS Would like to
meet an intelligent, attractive individual who loves music and is a very
good dancer. JIM, 5008.
7F2t

FEB. 8, 9
and

WEDNESDAY

'
I

8F2t

FOR SALE 19(14 Austin Healy Sprite.
all
Car can be seen after 7 p.m. or 278-38day Saturday and Sunday. Call 7F4t
7 p.m.
after

1435

WANTED

near

7F41&F14

WANTED

HELP

and with hardshell case.
7F7t
after 4 p.m.
1904 New

shoe

PENTHOUSE
IN THE

531. Cost $550. sell $275.
sell for list price $350.

separate dining room, two bedrooms,
fenced
vard. awning; can finance
for $52 per month. $2725. Call

Bus drivers. Must have
WANTED
valid Ky. driver's license. Must be
over 25. have mornings or afternoons free. Applv Wallace's Book
7Ftf
Store.
172.

new

299-14-

nurse's

A white
campus. Phone

guitars, Baldwin

Two

SALE

FOR SALE

WANTED

Tree Manor.

LOST

FOR

to share apartment.
172. 1435 S. Limestone. Hollv
7F2t
Tree Manor. Call

GIRL
Apt.

LOST

FOR SALE 40 watt stereo amplifier,
year
inputs for all accessories. One after
old. Name a price. Call 233-176F3t
6
all day.
5; or

typist.
serious financial need. See Room 151
6
Fine Arts BIdg..
p.m. except
Tuesday, or leave name and phone
6F3t
number.
GIRL
Apt.

Post five Inch slide rule between Boone Alley and Chemistry-Physle- s
building. If found call
Reward.
6F4t

hardFOR SALE 19f0 Dodge
top, white, power steering and brakes.
low
Air conditioner; good condition; 6F4t
mileage. Call

electric No.
Martin

Good

LOST

FOR SALE

WANTED
WANTED

k--

rfllCHAELfflliiE,

The commission will also not
extending the basis
for conscientious objection to
political grounds.
recommend

CLASSIFIED ADS

mid-Januar- y

2nd WEEK!

On the question of national
service, it is understood that the
commission will not recommend
allowing work in humanitarian
organizations such as the Peace
Corps as an alternative to the
draft. Sources said the commissioners could not devise any practical method for implementing
the idea and could find no way
to equate the risks of combat
with humanitarian work.

SPECIAL SHOW SATURDAY AT 11:15
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254-126-

EXCLUSIVE! FIRST Rliw
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DIAMONDS

The Kentucky Kernel
The

Kentucky Kernel, University
Station, University of Kentucky, Lexington, Kentucky 4050(1. Second class
postane paid at Lexington, Kentucky.
Published five times weekly during
the school year except holidays and
exam periods.
Published bv the Hoard of Student
Publications, UK i'o-s- t Office Dux 4it.
Nick Pope, chairman, and Patricia
Ann Nickell, secretary.
Hetfun as the Cadet in 1891 and
published continuously as the Kernel
since

1S15.

Advertising published herein is Intended to help the reader buy. Any
false or misleading advertising should
bo reported to The Editors.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
$8.00
Yearly, by mail
Fer copy, from files
$10
KERNEL TELEPHONES
2321
Editor, Managing Editor
Editorial Page Editor,
.... 2320
Associate Editors, Sports
2447
News Desk
Advertising, Business,
2318
Circulation

* THE KENTUCKY KERNEL, Wednesday,

VvU. H, IWi7- -.'

MuffM Services Thursday Afternoon

ll"

Wilbur (Tubby) W. Magill, a specialist in fruits at the UK
Extension Service, died Tuesday at his home of a heart attack.
Magill served for 11 years with the service before retiring in
13. In 19V), he was awarded the Wilder Medal by the American
l'oniological Society.
Services are Thursday at 1:30 p.m. at the W. H. Milward Mortuary in Southland by the Hev. Hussell H. I'atton. Burial will Ik
in the Lexington Cemetary.

n.;i

S? 0nf?ampus
(Ily the author

Kith
MaxShuIman

ff "Italh Uouwl (he Flnj, H"j
r7i7j," dr.)

"Dnhic

STAMP OUT YOUNG LOVE
It happens every day. A young man goes ofT to college,
leaving his home town sweetheart with vows of eternal
love, and then he finds that he has outgrown her. What, in
such cases, is the honorable thing to do?
Well sir, you can do what Crunch Sigafoos did.

Quiz BowVs Equipment Elaborate

The Quiz Bowl, now in its second week of pre- liminary rounds, was underway again Tuesday
night. This shot gives an idea of the elaborate

equipment set up in the Student Center Theater
to accommodate the bowl,

Housemothers Ask Tighter Hours System

Continued From Page 1
of women with low grades, Miss
Mull ins told the women the de-

cision to extend privileges might
be left up "to your discretion."
Mrs. Martha Ware, Complex
5, said, "I'm not going to be a
mother away from home, but my
first commitment is to the girls . . .
to stand behind them and help
them make wise decisions. Some
things remain the same."
A spot check of women's residence units show that only one
has a definite limit on junior-senihours. (When AWS initiated the program, they left limits
up to each unit, Miss Mullins
said). Besides Blazer Hall, which
has a 3 a.m. closing for
other dormitories and
sororities have, in theory, no curfew. (The UK system differs on
this point from a system of no
hours in that it asks certain questions of women taking late hours.
In a no hour system, there is
or

upper-classme-

The typical procedure for takr
hours includes
ing
filling out a form designating
companion, destination, hour of
departure, and hour of return.
Some ask for mode of transportation or other additional information. They must be signed by
a head resident or staff assistant. In sororities, permission is
usually asked and granted verbally.
Most halls and dorms are on a
buddy system: a woman signing
out until 3 a.m. is let back into
her unit by, say, her roommate.
Other units give their women keys
junior-senio-

asked for.

no sign out).

UL's Student Council
Store
Opens Non-Profit

From Combined Dispatches
LOUISVILLE The Arts and Sciences Student Council at the
University of Louisville, has recently opened its own
non-prof-

In practice, however, women
agree that if they wanted to "sign
out til breakfast time," they probably couldn't. Miss Bess May of
Alpha Gamma Delta said she
tries "to convince girls that 2
a.m. is late enought."

book exchange.

The council hopes to give
students a better deal than the
official campus bookstore which
buys used texts at half the listed
new price and sells them at
that price.
three-fourt-

UK Bulletin Board
Psi Chi, National Psychology
Honorary, will hold a discussion
on "What Can You Do With
an Undergraduate Degree in Psys
chology?" Professors Juris
and John Donahoe will lead
the discussion at 8:00 p.m. Thursday in Room 206 of Kastle Hall.
The second discussion in the
seminar of the "Emerging Role
of the Contemporary Women"
will be from 9 a.m. to 12 noon
in Room 303 of Erikson Hall.
Applications for the Cwens
scholarship may be obtained by
ail interested freshmen women at
the Student Financial Aid office
and must be returned by Wedo

Reservations tor the United
Campus Christian Fellow ship Art
Retreat can be made by calling
The retreat will be held
Friday and Saturday.

251-1SS- L

interested amateur radio
enthusiasts are strongly urged to
attend the meeting of the UK
Amateur Radio Club Thursday at
5 p.m. in the Engineering Build-

The third round of the Quiz
The-

Peter Nero will appear in concert at 8:15 p.m. Thursday night.
Tickets are $2.00 in advance and
$3.00 at the door.
Gary Edwards and the Embers
will play at the Colddiggers Ball
Friday. Tickets for the 8:30 p.m.
to 12:30 a.m. dance are on sale
at the Central Information Desk
in the Student Center.
Friday is the deadline for
Junior women to apply for the
Links scholarship. The scholarship is offered to women who
will be unable to return to college without financial aid.

them at the owner's own price.
University officials donated
the space for the book exchange
and Ernie Allen, chairman of
the UL council, said he expected
book prices at the exchange to
of the
average about
The exchange will charge a
fee for handling, and Allen
said the council would have to
use its own funds to pay the
bookkeeping costs.
University Controller,
Elbert, said the official UL
store has used the consignment
system before, but wound up in
the red. The free student labor,
he said, would be an advantage
for Allen's group.
10-ce- nt

Nor-be- rt

WANT

TO WRITE?

TO BE PUBLISHED?

Your story or column appear
10,500 times daily.
In The
KENTUCKY KERNEL
Staff Applications available now.
KERNEL OFFICE
Journalism Building

Dutch Lunch will not
in February nor until TownCiils
show a renewed interest by petition. Interested coeds should go
to Nancy Taslor in the Dean of
Women's office.

All

453-New equiping, Room
ment for the club radio station
W4JP will be discussed.

The student exchange does
not buy books outright, but takes
them on consignment and sells

two-thir-

Bowl will be 6:30 p.m. Thurs-

day in the Student Center
ater.

new cost.

Ber-zin-

nesday.

when they take late hours. These
women, too, however, must sign
that someone
is "expecting
them" before permission is
granted. In almost all cases, there
is a provision that the friend
who is waiting up must notify
the dorm mother within a certain time immediately, 15 minutes, half an hour if the other
woman has not returned.
AWS has on file the procedure
each hall followed on late hours
for junios as of spring of 1966,
for seniors, fall of 1965. More
recent statistics have not been

Pasquales
24! SOUTHLAND

Dr.

277-812- 1

THE PLACE TO BUY
An Older Model Car
SI 00 to $1,000.00
Small Down Payments
Small Weekly Payments
WE FINANCE ON THE LOT
CARS from

Jack Smith
Economy Cars
203 MIDLAND AVE.
Phone 2331017

When Crunch left his home in Cut and Shoot, Pa., to go

off to a

prominent midwestern university

(

Florida State)

he said to his sweetheart, a wholesome country lass named
Mildred Bovine, "My dear, though I am far away in college, I will love you always. I take a mighty oath I will
never look at another girl. If I do, may my eyeballs parch
and wither, may my viscera writhe like adders, may my
s
slacks go baggy!"
Then he clutched Mildred to his bosom, flicked some
hayseed from her hair, planted a final kiss upon her fragrant young skull, and went away, meaning with all his
heart to be faithful.
But on the very first day of college he met a coed named
Irmgard Champerty who was studded with culture like a
ham with cloves. She knew verbatim the complete works
of Franz Kafka, she sang solos in stereo, she wore a black
leather jacket with an original Goya on the back.
Well sir, Crunch took one look and his jaw dropped and
his nostrils pulsed like a bellows and his kneecaps turned
to sorghum. Never had he beheld such sophistication, such
intellect, such savoir faire. Not, mind you, that Crunch
was a dolt. He was, to be sure, a country boy, but he had a
head on his shoulders, believe you me! Take, for instance,
his choice of razor blades. Crunch always shaved with
Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades, and if that doesn't
show good sense, I am Rex the Wonder Horse. No other
blade shaves you so comfortably so often. No other blade
brings you such facial felicity, such epidermal elan.
Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades take the travail out
of shaving, scrap the scrape, negate the nick, peel the pull,
oust the ouch. Furthermore, Personnas are available both
in double-edg- e
style and in injector style. If you're smart
and I'm sure you are, or how'd you get out of high sc hool
you'll get a pack of Personnas before another sun has set.
But I digress. Crunch, as we have seen, was instantly
smitten with Irmgard Champerty. All day he followed her
around campus and listened to her talk about Franz Kafka
and like that, and then be went back to his dormitory and
found this letter from his home town sweetheart Mildred :
ever-pres-

Dear Crunch:
Us kids had a keen time yesterday. We went down to
the pond and caught some frogs. I caught the most of
anybody. Then we hitched rides on tmcks and did lots
of nutsy stuff like that. Well, I must close now because I
'
got to whitewash the fence.
Your

friend,
Mildred
P.S. . ..I know how to ride backwards on my skateboard.
Well sir, Crunch thought about Mildred and then he
thought about Irmgard and then a great sadness fell upon
him. Suddenly he knew he had outgrown young, innocent
Mildred; his heart now belonged to smart, sophisticated
Irmgard.
Being above all things honorable, he returned forthwith to Cut and Shoot, Pa., and looked Mildred straight in
the eye and said manlily, "I do not love you any more. I
love another. You can hit me in the stomach all your might
if you want to"
"That's okay, hey!' said Mildred amiably. "I don't love
you neither. I found a new boy!'
"What is his name?" asked Crunch.
"Fran. Kafka" said Mildred.

"I hope you will be very happy" said Crunch and shook
Mildred's hand and they have remained good friends to
this day. In fact, Crunch and Irmgard often double-dat- e
with Franz and Mildred and have barrels of fun. Franz
knows how to ride backwards on his skateboard
one-legge- d.

So you

7. Ma

Shulman

all's tvell that ends m il including a shave

with Personna Super Stainless Steel It lades and
I'ersonna's partner in luxury shaving IlurmaShave. It
comes in menthol or regular; it soaks rings around any
other hither.

KERNEL CLASSIFIED ADS BRING RESULTS

* The Kentucky Kernel
KSTAW.KSHKI)

WEDNESDAY, FEH.

1894

l.ditoriuls represent the opinions of the i'.ditors, not
S

Homo, I'.dilorial

Wai.iih
Voe I'ditor

Chant,

l'.ditor-l-

the

Chief
Wii.i.iam Kn m

illfln Iwf!

The South's Outstanding College Daily
I'mm hmiy or KrH ( :kv

8. 1907

l uit ersitij.

IUiiness Manager

few-year-

If W
'''''

'fM

Problems Of Grow ill

sential that planners from the two
The University in the past
flow
lias been formulating a phy- units maintain a never-endinsical expansion program which will of communications. City planners
provide facilities for between 20,000 must be aware of the University's
and 25,000 students by 19S0. To goals and needs, and the University
coincide with this growth, the pop- must be sympathetic with the phyulation of Lexington and Fayette sical problems that its expansion
County is expected to double in will bring to the community.
We would hope that the "sore
the next 15 years.
It is unfortunate, then, that spots" in planning which have existed in the past will not continue
relations between city and Univerto hinder relations between UK and
sity planners are somewhat strained
due to several undesirable incidents city planners. Joint meetings bein the past. But, at the same tween UK and city planning agtime, it is encouraging that city encies recently apparently have
officials say communications with made relations a little more cordial.
It is evident that a constant
the University have "improved tremendously" during the years since dialogue between planners of the
two units is a prerequisite before
Dr. John Oswald assumed the presthe campus and the community
idency.
can serve as catalysts for one anThe University