xt78w950h564 https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt78w950h564/data/mets.xml University of Kentucky Fayette County, Kentucky The Kentucky Kernel 19390523  newspapers sn89058402 English  Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, May 23, 1939 text The Kentucky Kernel, May 23, 1939 1939 2013 true xt78w950h564 section xt78w950h564 Deai oupy Mvaname

The Kentucky Kernel






been gratidying to read and
publish the waves of intelligent
student letters that have risen like
a resurgent Phoenis from the ashes
of last year's campus apathy. Only
last week we squeezed In 18 on
the momentous issue of Frosh





MAY 2.1, l'J3'J

NO. til




What a triumph!
The Student Council sometimes
known as the Jones boys, when
carrying on their stupendous checkup to see what young lady is the
latest campus favorite, had no
trouble in finding that 99 44100
per cent (confirmed by Student
Slurveys) of male students shouted

Is not this wonderful, yea even
amazing? And so with baited breath
we delve into the little pile of mail
left by the student postman.


Dear Side Car: We've been working at Cuignol theater for three
years, we've drunk their coffee,
been bitten by the mosquitoes and
fallen in the mudhole in the backyard, acted enthusiastic over abortive Thespianisim
even drunk the
ice water with saw-duin it, and
smiled at the 90 hour week.
All this for the joy and wonder
of being a key man but when, yes
Lord, when do I get my key? If you
can help me in this, Mr. Editor,
please let me know here. I've just
finished my third aeroplane in the
basement and would like to have
my key to toy with while reading
"Mein Kampf" backward next Eas-t- r.
Very sincerely, An admirer.
Osiers Sanitarium
Our admirer little suspects that
he need only work on 111 more
lab plays and speak to Oreer Johnston publicly twice a week for a
week and then he can receive a
Ouignol Key.

Dear Editor: Since you all have
such a nice, well-likterm for the
Independents as Barbs, why can't

we have one?
Why not call us something distinctive like "Spigs"? All the girls
would rather been seen with a big
brutiful "Barb" than a mere lodge
"member with anachronistic initials
after his name.
In case you want to find me for
consultation I'm the object leaning against Dunn's mail box once
U. S. property with most of my
skin exposed below my
coat. Very sincerely. An admirer.


Well, well, well isn't he a little
man though. We certainy shall
Mart a drive for the boys and have
the Spigs back in the sorority houses
-by football season. It is a matter
of gravest moment that such abuses
should cease and the Kernel is the
organ to do it.
And here we have a ream of notes
concerning Slabodkin's George Rec
tor, nee John Morgan. We quote

uiem iragmeniaruy.
. . . "he is too well-fe- d
we need sympathy when we walk
in there."
. . . "Morgan must go. he's thriv
ing on that stuff, he ain't yooman.'
. . . "he must be alcoholic, he
didn't acquire that avoirdupos in
the Ptomaine Room . . ."
. . . "tee hee, he's so cute with
that little girl, what do you think
the children will look like?"
. . . "He and Sulzer are a pair,
but why not hide both of them under
the main cell block?"
So you see John will just have
to fall off to mere shadow of him- self during a full eclipse to hold
out, or does Eckball get the Job?

Last week we spoke of the Spanish
club as the most long established
i and outstanding ornery on
j campus. Our error was obvious
i any damm fool knows that it is
the Bailey Club, even the editor.
And so we close with a mild protest embodied in a petition bearing
15.000 student signatures.
. . . "if the Bar is to be safe for
Home Ec majors the faculty will
have to go." Signed admiringly:
Ray Sutherland
Bruce Sullivan
Ann Jane MacChesney
Billie Young
W. C. Fields
Jas. Herndon (and friends)
etc. ad infinitum



A Student
please return to Kernel Business Office.
Reward to rtlie building. None (or Jane


Union Bu tiling.

special permission of the faculty
board of graduation requirements, the Kernel u In a posit ion to supp) y copies of
and comprehensive
for the
John H. Morgan, Minister

of Finance.

Will the student that stole the
semester exam papers come back and get
right set? Prof. Quia

WANTFD: 4 male passengeas to drive U.
K. girl to New Jersey. Open car. roomy,
have plenty of gas. You need not share

the expenses. Just get


CaU 4T4Y after 12 p. m.

to mama safely.

Union Disappears,

such an interesting position, please call
the University diKoensary. Forty-tw- o
of compound eyestrain have been received
tn the last meek. This must cease. Dr.
those having
purchased "parkvav Markers" from Free
Hunter or Worth Ensmtnger please bring
same to Division of Stolen Property,
Lexington Police, anywhere on your dial!



Gruesome, Dismembered
Body Of Leslie Lee Jones
Revealed Lying In Office

Loved Edifice Is Gone;


Students Mourn
Horrible Theft


You Lugs,

Lexington and Fayette county
police were at a loss last night to
explain the absence of the University's new quarter-millio- n
Student Union building from its
place beside Alumni
gymnasium. Law enforcing facilities of 23 surrounding cities were
engaged in the search for the edifice, and police indicated that an
arrest would be made in 24 hours.
Joe Bailey, football star, was suspected of the crime.
Detective lieutenant Robert Fin-desaid last night, "It's the most
amazing theft in my career." He
further stated that the building
had probably been transported
across the state line and that, since
Jane Cheery was more than likely
sitting in the Grill, it was a violation of Interstate Commerce regulations. "This," he said, "will interest Washington."
Bailey, last seen by his bodyguard, hefty Sully Jacobs, is a
familiar one on the police blotter.
The missing building was first
discovered missing by alert Student Director James Wine, who,
coming to his office as usual, found
that the structure was not in its
customary position. It was he who
summoned police to the scene. Only
vestige of the building remaining
was the cafeteria counter Which was
employed in the Ptomaine Room,
located in the basement.
Although no one has reported
seeing the massive fiasco, it is believed that it will be found in the
vicinity of Paducah, Baley's home.
A professor expressed the desire
that the entire search be dropped.
"After all," he said, "it didn't have
any windows. Give us another
chance.- Let us build another one.
What's a quarter-millio- n
compared to the experience our
students will receive?" After this
statement .police began investigating his whereabouts at the time the
crime was committed. It was decided however, that if he had had
anything to do with ft. he would
have left the roof instead of the
cafeteria counter.


Tridelts, Sigma Chis
Hold Pitched Battle

Is The
Senior Edition



Police suspected foul play yesterday, when the body of Leslie Lee
Jones, beautiful senior in journalism, was found sprawled beneath a
desk in the office of a journalism professor. The shocking crime was
discovered by Mack Hughes, who snapped this exclusive shot for
The Kernel before detectives arrived. The cat, obviously the guilty
party in the murder, was found holding a. butcher knife; but refused
to make a statement until he had seen a lawyer.
-t- -


Blah Blah Blah




Sid Buckley Hanged;
Eaten By Angry Birds

Violent disturbances,
Twelve Are Killed, Maimed
Interpretations, and Investigation rumors that a new constitution had
In Frightful Fracas
been hatched, shattered the tranof Returns.
Over Clubhouse
quility of the campus yesterday
No department

that it is offering the new course, afternoon when the League of

which is designed for
seniors with less than two
hours in the fields of.
Prof. Matthew Atwood Barken-pus- s,
head of the poultry, feeds, and
fertilizers improvement
department .choked, sobbing when
he heard the news:
for the Department
"It 1 sa set-uof Impractical Mechanics, the rats.
They are framing me."
Fumed eDan Ina Ever Drinkwater,
head impractical mechanic: "The
hell you say; don't give me any of
that stuff."
Giggled an unidentified dean:
"It'll be the biggest snap on the
campus. I'm going to advise it for
All football players and Phi Beta
Krappas. Goody, goody."
ing, "Delta Delta Delta purchased
Also announced yesterday by rethis clubhouse for $2 31." She dis- gistration officials was that the
played a cigar coupon as pYoof of tuition fee could be raised from
$23,438 to $98,754 next semester.
The sorority was moving its bust- There will be also a five million
fee, they assertles into the clubhouse when the dollar
fighting started. While moving a ed.
three-to- n
beauty queeen into the
hall, the women stumbled over Bob
Reush, who had been lying in stuIrving Danzigger .not fully well
por for two weeks.
After three of women had fallen from the shock that he wasn't
over the slumbering Rush, he awoke named editor of the Kentuckian.
and roused his fellow clubmen. student annual publication, is quite
Armed with sawed -- off beer bottles, happy that he has now received his
the Sigs drove the DDDs to the naturalization papers.
Danzigger, a native of Black Ruscorner of Maxwell street and returned to their house for a round of sia, is also proud of the
purple passion.
title that was bestowed upon
At 3:30 p. m. the women returned him by the present editor.
with cue stickes, ping pong paddles .and three SAEs that were IRVINE AND WILLIAMS NABBED
courting Mary Agnes Penny.
Local detectives last night reA
when interviewed on
the scene of the fight, said: "Czar ported the arrest of Harry Williams
Wine, leader of the drink club, and Don Irvine, wanted on a charge
shouted that it was their club and of disturbing the peace. Officers
said that the two had been obthe women to get out."
as they
Noticeable among the sorority served barking at
women were several Sigma Chi emerged from Patterson hall. Wilalumni, who apparently had "sold liams and Irvine were described as
out to the enemy" as one ot the degenerates of a particularly malicious type.
clubmen phrased it.

Tri-Del- ts



Shaw, Goodman, Etc.,
Will Play For Ball



Is Distressing


Faculty Decides That
Only three million new courses
will be added to the curriculum
next year .officials shame-facedl- y
admitted yesterday. To be inaugurated in September is a modern,
streamed-line- d
advertising sequence,
complete with reversible electives,
preretudor tutorial, and
If taken before the field of consternation has been met, a nontechnical course designed to meet
the needs of mothers, or acceptable
equivalent, should be chosen at
the beginning of the freshman year.
The new sequence emphasizes effective interpretation of the function, facilities, and services.
"The journalism department
is offering these
courses, hot dog," victoriously shouted an acting head of the Department of Journalism, who requested
that his name not be mentioned.
Another short
offered is the Place, Function, Administration, Opportunity, Cataloging, Classification, Methods, Reference, Records, Bibliography, Theory,
Organization. Appreciation, Activity, Manipulations, Mechanics. Research. Regulation, Measurements,

Horsefaced Dean Says
That Europe's Crisis




ganized Objectors effected a putsch
which resulted in the death of three
students and injuries to a score of
Led by their fiery Sicilian captain. El Senor Guiseppe Intermag-gio- ,
and his lieutenant commander
Josef Schildkraut,
the agitators
stormed onto the green in front of
the Administration building where
they overtook two platoons of Pershing Riflemen and Sergeant Perkins.
Then the mobsters seized the business office where it had been rumored secret funds for administring
the constitution had been gidden.
Despite the frantic pleas of thousands of horrified spectators, a squad
essayed Sid Barker
Buckley, dragged him along the
ground by the hair of his head, and
hoisted him to the top of the flagpole. Thousands of copies of the
new constitution were glued to his
As Buckley .student leader for
the new constitution, dangled in
the sweet spring breeze. El Senor
Intermaggio mounted the steel safe
which had been swiped from the
business office and shouted:
"Viva, comrades. We must unite
against . . . against . . . well, just
plain against!"
Buckley, who had been squiiming
and chirping in the cool breeze far
above the ground was suddenly attacked by a squadron of woodpeckers who pecked and chipped him
down to fine bone marrow. His
remains were carried to the Biological Sciences building where the
staff is rather hard up for good
were finally disThe
persed by officer Kelly and one pair
of brass knuckles, plus a few well
chosen Irish cursewords.
Not one of the agitators was
for questioning.



Fix Him





As has been the custom ever
f.rfee people began graduating, a
dance is held at the end of the
year, the Gym, at the Union, or
This year the senir class Is very
fortunate in having a beautiful
room where the music need not
be hot. In a statement yesterday,
Mr. James S. Shropshire, a Walking Encyclopedia on Bands, said
that he expected the temperature
to be ever hotter than ever and the
music would serve as a cooling element.
Among the bands to be present
are: Artie Shaw, who will play in
the South end of the ballroom, Hal
Kemp, who will play on the
Guy Lombardo will play on
the deck. T. Dorsey will play in the
center of the floor, Glenn Millerlwil
play in the North end of the room.
Kay Kyser will play in the men's
room, B. Goodman will play in the
women's powder room where he
All of these bands will play at
the same time and the musical
products issued therefrom will be
twice as good as any we have heard
around here for a number of years.
J. Lee. Freidman, Kommissar of
the torso tussle, said that he expected a capacity crowd. An interesting thing to note is that President McVey and Dean Jones contributed from their own pockets
$1.84 toward procuring these famous bands. Also that the remainder
of the necessary funds were stolen
from the cache located on the right
wall of the business office. D. H.
Peak had sworn out a warrant for
the scoundrels who took the cash.

Mortimer Syrup, Dean of the
College of Philogy, Yahoo University, yesterday addressed an
convocation in Memorial
hall on the topic, "The More Abundant Life." Dr. Syrup a noted
lecturer, spoke before an audience
of 17 people, who aged materially
before he was finished.
Dr. Syrup is the author of many
books of philogy and is acknowledged to be the nation's foremost
expert on the economic aspects of
school of political and social totalitarian
He has a very attractive
personality, speaks in a loud voice,
and has sor of long, horse-lik- e
His speech was too .too divine.
Beginning with a slight cough, he
added a few remarks on the student attitude, concerning his field,
and concluded with an asthmatic
paroxysm. He was wheeled on stage
and intrduced by Dr. Frank L. McVey.

Relative to the European situation, Dr. Syrup said, "I believe that
the direction in which they (the
European nations, I mean; ha, ha
are moving would indicate a certain mobility of thought with which
we as a separate power may not
appreciate, because of certain tendencies which I have observed in
the direction in which we are moving. Of course, there is little material evidence to support that view
(which my colleagues term rather
radical, ha, ha) but I cannot help
believing that there is not a small
amount of corroborative material
which might bear on the subject and
confirm my attention."
Halfway through his speech. Dr.
Syrup was administered a shot of
adrenalin, which enabled him to
continue. The conclusion of his
speech was greeted with enthusiastic applause. Sort of undesered.
we thought, but you know how
those things are.
The benediction ana invocation
were given by the Rt. Rev. Chloros
U. Ratt. pastor of the Yogi Cathedral, Southern Rhodesia.

Achievement Of Note
Lexington, Kt, May 21 (Special)
The Joe Intermaggio news bureau announced exclusively to the
Kernel tonight that Charlie Kolb's
thesis was finished.

In answer to queries as to why

Maitres Des Femmes
Raise Hell At Party
The housemothers of the campus
recently ended a lovely bridge party
fight. The police
by a
were summoned by neighbors to
quiet the hubbub.
It seems that they were jealous
of the marvelous hands that the
Kappa housemother had been consistently getting. They accused her
of stacking the cards, and the argument developed into a
The good women are now awaiting trial in the county jail.


Pi Mu Epsilon (math.) held a
picnic (math.) Friday afternoon.
May 29, at Grimes Mill (math.) A
lot of people (math.)

check room.
"Hell no. we won't announce
it," we retorted in unison.
Boy, did we fix him!

Catastrophe Strands
Many In Midair

Dense fog. sweeping relentlessly
down from the Ohio river late last
night swept away into absolute
nothingness the new Biological Sciences building. Never before has
there been recorded such a devastating phenomenen.
Students doing special laboratory
work at 11:45 last night were left
stranded in mid air as the building
melted away from under their feet.
At the bottom of the giant foundation left as a result of the Biological Sciences building's disappearance late last night, were discovered
four WPA workers who had forgotten to finish a poker game sometime last December, when work on
the foundation was completed. Their
bodies were removed, sitting- upright with table chairs and all, to
the office of Dean Jones. The Dean
will question the corpses today.)
told how students on the third floor
were left floating in the breeze
while gazing into microscopes. Many
did not realize their predicament
until several moments after the
building had packed up and left.
Business agent Bart Peek at seven
o'clock, this morning, was checking
up on those in the building at the
time of the catastrophe. Peek said:
"Catastrophe or no catastrophe,
tuition must be paid."
In order to remove several students from the ether. Dean T. T.
Jones has called on volunteers. To
this moment though, there has been
a sad response and Dean Jones
pleads with you all to please help
if you can.
Never before in recorded history
has been such a strange catastrophe.
Said President Frank L. McVey:

One of the most gruesome things
discovered in the journalism department this year was the horrible, sa wed-u- p
torso of Leslie Lee
Jones, notorious
it girl
The body was found late yesterday
in the office of a journalism professor whose name cannot be divulged. ,
The Jones woman, who was white,
not colored, as so many people
seemed to believe, had been musing for several days from her suite
at the Phoenix hotel. Her corpse
was found by Mack Hughes, campus photographer, who had entered
the office to steal a grade book.
His shrill screams attracted others,
and the police were colled.
There was some evidence of a
struggle, as the back wall of the
room had been knocked out and
the furniture smashed. Police suspect foul play. The torso lay in the
middle of the floor, and the .
arms, and head had beeen crammed
into a typewriter.
Professor W. C. Tucker, head of
the department, could not be reached at his home for a statement, and
witnesses reported that he had left
the day before for a vacation at
the Molokai leper colony.
As soon as the coroner arrived and
pronounced Miss Jones dead. Captain Mulrooney Mulroney. who U
in charge of the case, stared that
"it was a plain case of murder."
"Blood. Blood everywhere," he
muttered to reporters.
Long a very familiar figure on
the campus. Leslie "Sexo" J.jnes
has had a remarkable and picturesque histry. Frequently she performed fan dances at Memorial
hall convocations, and was a popular addition to faculty parties. Her
name had been linked with that of
the professor for some months. They
met in a journalism class, and it
was love at first sight.
At the time of her dea'h. Mua
Jones was engaged in dope pedulu,;.

All girls from Fayette. JefIer-;on- .
Hopkins. Mercer. Adair. Boyle. Garrard. Leslie. Bourbon. Barren. Mercer. Bell. Harlan. Lyon. Christian,
and other Kentucky counties are
asked to come to the publicity bureau at their earliest convenience.

NYA students must see Dean
Theodore Tolman Jones immediately or they won't get their NYA
money. Again Dean Jones ursjes
that they do not delay this matter.

Gee-- "

Dean Sarah G. BIhikIii!
Said Dean Graham:
"Another effort whisked to hell!" address members of the K ciub.
honorary athletic organization, on
the subject. "How to build a home."
at 3 p. m. tomorrow in Bradley h.iil.

These Are Important
Following are some important and serious announcements that
irl fun."
President and Mrs. McVey cordially invite all candidates for
degrees at the June commencement to breakfast at Maxwell Place,
Thursday, June 1, at 8:30 a. m.

are not "all

President jind Mrs. McVey invite all alumni, graduates and
their families and friends to have tea with them at Maxwell Place
on commencement Day, June 2, from 3:30 to 5:30 o'clock.




J. Lee
tchairman Friedman, waddling
of the senior ball,
came into the office and requested that it be announced
that tickets for his party
might be obtained Monday,
Tuesday and Wednesday. May
29. 30, and 31 in the Union


Skuller Is Victor
she threw Ed Muehsler's ring in his
face," Miss Mary Ellen Saunders
remarked heartedly. "He has been
in the company of Sylvia Skuller
far too much."
Mr. Muehsler has retired to the
Delta Shelter to drown his sorrows. The Delts are not in sympathy with him.

Journalism Siren Is
Found Murdered
In Profs Room

Did We





Tri-Del- t,



This is the senior edition.
We are told that it must be
clearly and forcibly stated
that this is the senior edition,
or somebody, probably the
head of the journalism department, will beat our heads
in. We say it again: this is
the senior edition, and any
resemblance it has to an actual newspaper, living or dead,
is purely coincidental.
any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Yeah.

co-e- ds

With all Miss Do Ann Young's
confidential aeents pleasf turn In their
repots nd findings for transmission to
rjft total) headquarters. A tutorial seminar
in mm
eia lor mis group in koois au
Union building.


Bailey Is Suspected

hlgh-falut-i- ng

PERSONAL: Will the young lady who sits
In the Grill every day from 9 until 1 in

Horrible Scene In Prof's Den

Cool And Spacious

Pitched battle broke out yesterday
afternoon between members of Delta Delta Delta, a sorority .and Sigma Chi. local drinking society, at
the society's clubhouse on Rose
street. The death total had reached
12 by midnight, seven men and
three women.
The govenor ordered two companies of militia from Fort Nox last
night to quell the disturbance. Communist Joe Intermaggio said: "You
can't dig
with bayonets."
Cause of the battle was an attempt
And so to press with deepest sympathy for the graduating class and on the part of the sorority to occupy
cheeriest hopes that the latest batch the clubhouse .which, they conof Looies will be favored with a war tend, belongs to the sorority.
Sister Hillenmeyer, DDD official,
before tlieir brass tarnishes irresaid, when interviewed in the midparably.
dle of Rose street early this mornUn-Classifi-


the graduating class for June, including graduate students, are asked to attend a meeting at 4 p. m. Tuesday, May
23, in Memorial hall, to receive instructions for the commenceAll members of

ment exercises.
Men who will be ushers and assistant marshals for commencement and baccalaureate exercises are also asked to attend this
All students who wish their mail forwarded for the summer are
asked to leave name and address at the University post office immediately. Students who will attend summer school and who would
like to retain the same box number are also asked to report same
to the University post office officials.

Patterson Literary society will hold
a luncheon meeting at noon. Thursday in the Union building. Raymond
Sutherland will speak on "The Aesthetic Qualities of a Woman's Leg."
A women's club. Theta Sit:nia Phi.
will hold an indoor picnic in the
Old Postoffice building at 5 p. m.
Sunday. Members muM- - bring
own food and dues for the paat
three months.

All girls who are interested
becoming a Beauty Queen next year
may do so by leaving their name
and telephone number in the dean
of women's office. These names land
telephone numbers mast be in the
hands of the dean not later than,
so that they will be in time for publication in (John Ed Pearce'si 'Blue

Members of the stock ridmn':
team are requested to attend the
Senior Ball to assist in the presentation of the "Avenue of Beauties '

There will be a hellova'ota meetings in the Union this week, in room
at. oh. who cares when!


If tl
night of
to hvf
on Stoll

seniors re sobr emit:: b fip
June 2. PreMrtnt McVVv ls om





It u



tU a
such thinn uum11t ar?. it
tool Idea to be there. Lot of noitnse. we
alwayi aay, lot of nonsense.







u second

Enured at tli. Post Office at Lexington. Kentucky,
Class matter under the Act of March 3. 1879.
Kentucky Intercollegiate Press Association
Lexington Board of Commerce

National Advertising Service, Inc.
Cnllrge Pmbliibert Rtprttentilir
4 20 Maoison Ave.
New York. n. Y.
' SOTOa ' LO. A.6CLI

itihii iti t hii
Muiitinittg I


$2.00 One

$1.00 One Semester

I). H- - JNI--Kitivoiiti s Sai.




1)av Hoy

Vnci I ililtn
A win inlr i.iiitm


Roiuki l.oi

Assih iiilr I ilitm










Si t



Our Friend,
The Dog
vim lui.'r
all ti.i tis

r laijicr.

!it nun (Ion.






those everlasting words. "Oh, proudly it waves
in the twilight's last gleaming, o'er the land of
ihti lice and ihc home of the Brave." he expressed thai feeling of millions of Americans w ho
thrill in ecstasy: lumps coming lo their throats,
as thev waich the symlxil ol America, those iS
stars ami 13 striK's waving lustily in the hreee
tarrving the legions of America's bravest on to
liljcrty antj everlasting equality.
There waves its frills o'er rocks and rills, front
Maine lo California. Happing dcliamlv al ill
winds, gleaming in tlie sunshine of prospeiiiy,
iis pinnacle reaching high alxivc all vice and
treason, diinhing ever higher anil higher lo
lead amhhious Americans on the Ik.ii
est and narrow mail of democracy.
Mav these ha liners of freedom ever wave!
Mav thev crusade against unrighteousness and
the muck of the world! May the youth of
America carrv on the traditions ol our patriotic
heroes; mav they rat ill the spark of Molly Pitcher, who treated ihis maslerpicte of doth and
thread in her Ixuuloir, and tarry the ideals of
America on lo the generations of Iree-lioito conic; may they always doll their hats and lust-ilsing: "llals oil!", when the Hag is passing by!



iliat no oik-molt- - applet iulive


I;J) should


'lege iliai is iliciiv
l)is. MiiiicoiK- lias said, ait' man's
I In
tit- - iliat is, liou nut- - iliai is!
And I low
l"i its master is one ol llu
ol a i
most I : in i! til nlal ioiisliijis vt- know of. Irtih,
a dcj is man's Usl liicnd. Student
IhUit. Go vciili liiir.
ionic- lo know their dc-Ntmliolinv; on i lie- auius. tntouiac liis incet-oilr
dos. I ii i nk ol mini do;;, nol as
an animal iliai lias lo Ik- ltd: lmt as a Iricnd
ill. n is to Im- treated willi all ilic kintlncss ihal
can lc mustered. Dufjs, alter all. arc not like
other Ik;isIs. I lies have
I Iknunc adulaiion llu-- have for llicir mas-i- t
is is just as sincere, jusl as fiur as is a man's
for his Usl li icntl. I heir love knows no k h
jealousies or desire for reienc. 1 hey trot alonj;
their master's side adoringly, caieliiii; his
wi iiioxe. nuardin his safely with their verv
lilt! Suielv si iide ins rcalic thai in I heir doj;
iIk luvt a friend that will never let ihcin down,
in tn consciously cause them a inoiiiciil's
.ore or iain of any sort. Kemcnilx-- when,
he rolled over when you pushed him.
as a
litked vour hand when von would seem to ignore hi:n. Sltidenls!
Your dog nectls your
liit iitiK glance, he needs vour loving pal! Don't
lueak his heart, studeents. dou'l make him afraid
ol vou. Rc iik iiiIk i man's Ijcsi friend is ihc dog!

r,f iIk- i;iu- - pi

Beliittd The Ecktlahl

Im-s- I





Oilr In Sjiiiigliuir




Hoy, am
funny! HOY, am t fuiiuv! Hov AM
funny"! Hoy, am I 1T.WY! Hoy, am I lunny;
Ixiv, am I funnv; liv am I funnv.


HovamHuniiy, boyauilfunny.
Hoy am 1 lunny. Hoy am I funny. Hov .nu I
funny. Hoy am I funny. Hov am I funnv. i'.iv
am I funnv. Hoy am I funnv. Hov am I funny.
Hoy ant I funny. Hoy am I funny. Hoy ai.i I
lunny. Hoy am I lunny. Hov am I funny.


Hoy am

tlis-jile- a

Old Glory,
Flag Of The Free
o' the high ideals of America!



I'nrtry 1'lug
am I lunny,


funny, Uv

Oltl S,r,i
funnv cooks sjxiil the funnv.
funnv .

Hov, am



Hoy, oh BOY, am I FUNNY! J'.OY. oh
AM I funny! Hoy, am I lunny. Hoy, am I funny.
Hov. am I funnv. Hov, am I funnv. Bov, am 1
liiiuiv. Bov, am I funnv. Bov, am I funnv. Bov,
am I lunny. Buy, am I funny. Boy, oh Imiv, oh


lone of ihc patriotic cilit n since I77i! Old


of our lathcrlanil. waves triumphant
over oppression and totalitarianism, ever reminding' a lickle world of the supremacy ol
Ameiica throughout vcars of struggle in obtaining inclc k mil in c.
I;. ii lied in a hisiorv ov er w hic h it has emerged
xiciorol the wars of I77i, I H I I KIT, 1XW, and
I'.IIK. Old dloiv remains iiiijkt(iii Ud and lofty
as a successful svinUil of a world "made sale I or
v. Hag





hen Stephen Collins Foster wrote the immortal words that burned into the hearts of our
biavc and gallianl forcixars, those words of confidence, wisdom, and sheer downright patriotism.

Corny luhe l)tjnntiiunl
I e: "Hoy, am I lunny."
,Shc: "Boy, am I?"
I Ic:
"Hoy, am 1 funnv."
Hov, am I funny. Hoy, I AM lunny. HOY, aiu
lunny. Hoy, am I fuiiiiv. Hoy, am I fuiiuv. Hoy.
a in I funny. Bov, am I lunnv. Boy, ant I funnv.
Hoy, am I funny.


Social Briefs

It's a funny old world. Hov. am
Hi. vo Funnv man, awav

living room. She will be elected
honorary president.
Jean McElroy has been courting
boy from Centre.
We sold three pledges to the
Kappas and paid the rent.
Xi chapter celebrated the riddance
of the senior nubs by a wild old
party in the house Saturday nite.
The ornery guests were: "Fuzzy"
Allison. "Squinty" Bailey, "Gawky"
Clay, Flossie Greene. Ruth
"Stuff" McElpuss, Sudie
Sparks, Maggie Stewart, and Droopy
Wyatt .and their dates. Cliff Shaw.

(Continued from Page Three
Another dull Saturday night as
usual was not enjoyed by the girls.
'two alumnae. Martha Goontz
tiid Mcthisba GuU. were dinner
futsiA at the hoiuse last week, much
to the dismay of the sisters, since
the alums swiped at leal twenty
dollar worth of silverware.
The national charter Is being
hocked this week to buy a new
house mother.
A boy wandered into the house
Friday and scared three of the
Mary Bryson has returned from girls to death.
in the good Samaritan . Not much news this week, bea week-enhospital, where she was nursing cause the house burned down and
killed eight of the members.
John Hunsaker while he was ill.
Our housemother eloped.
Annette Ghngholtz was caught by
several of the girls necking in the
Ramona Perkins has been locked

who got drunk enough U work