xt7b5m628457 https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7b5m628457/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 2004-12-10 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers English Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, December 10, 2004 text The Kentucky Kernel, December 10, 2004 2004 2004-12-10 2020 true xt7b5m628457 section xt7b5m628457 Friday

December 10, 2004

www.kykernel.com
newsroom: 2574915

First issue free. Subsequent issues 25 cents.

THE KENTUCKY

erne

Celebrating 33 years of independence

IU's Davis brings
excitement to rivalry
Page 6

In Our Opinion: New police chief

should be more open
Page 4

Todd’s salary ranks near national average

By Katie Vass

mt xtnrucxv Rim

Tuition is on the rise in
universities across the na-
tion, and so are the salaries
of their presidents.

The number of universi-
ty presidents who earn
more than $500,000 in-
creased from 12 in 2003 to
17 in 2004, according to a
survey conducted by the
Chronicle of Higher Educa-
tion.

UK President Lee Todd's
salary is slightly less. at
$416,630, according to the
chronicle.

Todd gets a $275,330 base
salary from the state, a
$100,000 performance bonus
and $41,300 in deferred
compensation a year.

“All university employ-
ees get 10 percent of their
pay in deferred compensa-
tion for retirement," said
Michael Kennedy, a faculty

member of the Board of
Trustees. He said Todd re-
ceives the performance
bonus if he meets “prede-
termined institutional
goals or strategic objec-
tives."

State law caps Todd‘s
salary, which was $272,950
until July 1.

“1 think he earns his
salary without question,"
Kennedy said.

A rule of presidential

salaries says they cannot be
higher than that of the
President of the Council of
Postsecondary Education.
Tom Layzell, who currently
holds this position, receives
$283,000 per year.

This law applies to all
presidential salaries in
Kentucky At the Universi-
ty of Louisville. though,
President James Ramsey
earns $534,781, earning the
10th-highest salary of pub-

lic university presidents in
the nation.

According to the Chron-
icle of Higher Education.
the median salary for a
public university president
is $328,400. Todd's salary
exceeds this median by
$88,230. In the 2001-2002
academic year, Todd donat-
ed $50,000 of his $100,000
performance bonus back to
UK. Of that year‘s bonus,
$37,000 was also taken in

taxes. "For the following
two years, Todd has de-
ferred the bonus because of
UK's financial problems.

Of 13 of Kentucky's
benchmark schools, six of
the presidents earn more
than Todd. while seven
earn less. One of the six
who earns a higher salary,
President Mark A. Emmert
of the University of Wash-
ington at Seattle, earns the

See Salary on page 2

Music sophomore Nathan
Cobb finishes his solo jury
and continues practicing his
trumpet. He spent three
hours yesterday practicing
for the performance.

umi saw I more canon

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

Natural gas costs
go up 15 percent

Increase not as large as last winter

By Elizabeth lroutman

THE KENTUCKY KENNEL

Students may want to
conserve energy this winter
as natural gas bills are in-
creasing by as much as 15
percent.

Officials at the Public
Service Commission said
the average gas bill is up by
10 to 15 percent compared to
last December. The five ma-
jor natural gas distributors
in Kentucky sell gas to con
sumers at the wholesale
price by federal law. Andrew
Melnykovych, communica
tions director for the Public
Service Commission, said
prices have been on the rise
for the past two years.

"As the economy started
picking up steam a couple
years ago, the supply of gas
hasn't kept pace." he said.
“You have an economic is-
sue where supply and de-
mand are tight."

Melnykovych said the
major increase in gas prices
occurred last winter, when
prices rose by as much as 40
percent. This winter, dis-
tributors are dealing with
the lingering aftermath of
last summer‘s series of hur—
ricanes. which resulted in
slow oil production on the
Gulf Coast.

“We are at the mercy of
what is going on out there
in the gas market." he said.
”The wholesale cost is un»
regulated. You‘re going to
pay the price your gas com-
pany is paying."

Kentuckians facing high
gas bills have two options to
save money. he said. Mini~
mizing consumption and
making homes energy effi-
cient can cut costs.

“Beef up insulation." he
said. “Make sure warm air

is in the house and cold air
stays outside, cover win-
dows with plastic 4» there
are many number of things
you can do to keep heated
air in."

Gas consumers should
not expect a decrease in
prices this spring because
distributors now pass costs
to consumers on a dollar-
for-dollar basis. Traditional-
ly, prices decrease signifi-
cantly during the warmer
months. but Melnykovych
said that is no longer the
case.

“We have reached a new
and higher plateau for gas
prices. and it looks like we
will be there for a while." he
said. “Demand isn't slowing
down. It is really important
for people to conserve ener-
33'-

Lisa Smith. communica—
tions manager for Columbia
Gas, said the budget pay-
ment plan is the best plan
for managing increasing
utility bills.

“I think customers are
always concerned about
prices of natural gas." she
said. "They want to know
what they can do to mini-
mize the costs."

Columbia Gas‘s budget
payment plan gives cus-
tomers the option of taking
the expected annual usage
cost and dividing payments
up equally for twelve
months. This strategy lets
customers know what their
bill will be each month. re-
gardless of market fluctua'
tions.

“It's a smart thing to
do." she said. “It doesn‘t
cost a thing, and it elimi-
nates prices in the winter."

E-mail
etroutmaniu kykernelcom

Powell slams NATO
for absence in Iraq

By Glenn Kessler

m: wisxmcroii 'eost

BRUSSELS, Belgium
In a fresh sign of lingering
tensions over the Iraq war.
Secretary of State (Tolin
Powell Thursday rapped
European allies who de-
clined to assist a NATO-led
Iraq training mission as
“hurting the credibility and
cohesion" of the military
alliance.

A half dozen NATO
members have flatly re—
fused to allow officers as-
signed to NATO bases to
participate in the training
operation a move that
US officials said was un-
precedented. Even as the 26
country alliance decided
Thursday to expand the
small operation in Iraq
from 60 to 300 people. ofﬁ-
cials from the. recalcitrant
nations which include
France, Germany and
Spain held ﬁrm.

“We will send no troops
to Iraq.“ said German For
eign Minister .loschka Fis-
cher. Prench Foreign Minis-
ter Michel Barnier told rc-
porters that “given the cur-
rent security situation. we
think it is more efﬁcient
and useful if training takes
place outside of 1raq."

The transatlantic rift
emerged as US. officials
have signaled a new ap-
proach in their dealings
with Europe. The White
House announced Thurs-
day that Bush will visit
NATO and meet with Euro
pean leaders on Feb. 22. in
what Powell called an effort
to “mend these breaches."

NATO Secretary-Getter
al .Iaap de Hoop Scheffer
said Poland. Hungary and
the Netherlands had agreed
to send more staff for the
mission. which is located in-
side the heavily fortified

See Powell on page Z

Starlings have left their marli all over campus this winter.

WHAT A MESS

'Screamers' return to scare birds away

By Michele Fernandez-Cruz
" iaumucxvrtnutt

Physical Plant Department employees are stepping up ef-
forts to keep migrating birds off campus and to keep side-

walks free of bird droppings.

George Riddle. superintendent of the grounds depart-
ment, said physical plant employees will spend the next few
days scouting the campus to calculate the bird population.
Throughout the winter. four men working in two shins on the
weekdays will keep the birds moving using noisemakers.

1n the past. UK's campus and surrounding areas in Lex-
ington have tried dealing with nonmigratory birds like the
sterling by using noisemakers that emit loud screams and
popping noises. Also known as “screamers,” they encourage
the birds to move. reducing the amount of bird droppings.
Birds tend to congregate in areas on campus with many ever-
greens, buildings and trees. which provide the most warmth

during the winter months.

“We are pretty much doing the same thing we did last
year." Riddle said. “We have not had that great of a problem
with congregation of birds roosting.“

“We‘re kind of like their hotel," he said.

A small amount of money is factored into the budget each
year to deal with the bird problem. he said. Costs vary de
pending on the number of birds and required supplies.

lan Stewart, a postdoctoral biology researcher. said he is-
n't sure the problem can be so easily solved.

“Sterlings aren‘t migrants; they stay around all winter,"

SeeIhIsonpagez

By Elizabeth Mehren
to: «ours nuts V

PROVlDENCE. R.l . A
veteran television reporter
was sentenced Thursday to
six months' home conﬁne
merit for refusing to disclose
who had provided him with
an FBI videotape showing a
local politician taking a bribe.

Chief US. District Judge
Ernest C. Torres said the only
reason he was not sending
Jim Taricani. 55. to prison
was that the journalist has se-
rious health problems. includ-
ing a severely compromised
immune system resulting

Ewell

Continued from paqel

area in Baghdad knovm as the
Green Zone. NATO also plans
to set up a military academy
outside Baghdad. but has re-
ceived no commitments of
staff yet.

But Germany provides a
disproportionate share of the
international command staff.
so its directive to German
NATO ofﬁcers could hamper
the operation. Joining Ger-
many. France and Spain in re-
fusing to provide staff for the
training operation were
Greece. Belgium and Luxem-
bourg.

Powell. attending his last
series of meetings at NATO
as secretary of state. noted at
a news conference that mem-

Birds

Continued from page I

he said. “(Using noisemakers) doesn't
do anything; all it does is move them

from one place to another."

“It‘s natural behavior to he in

ﬂocks.“

Other methods have been used to
reduce the amount of birds. Stewart
said people in the 1940s sprayed entire

roosts with detergent.

“Detergent soaks the feathers and
stops them from staying warm and
freezing to death." he said. "You could-
n't do that on campus. People would

frown on that."

While Stewart said he doesn't enr

from a 1996 heart transplant.

"1 am very saddened and
disappointed by what has hap
pened in this case." Torres
said. adding that he disliked
“sentencing a reporter whom
I have admired and respected
for many years."

But. the judge said. “no
one is above the law. Not pres-
idents. not reporters. Like all
citizens. the reporter must
obey what the Constitution
and the laws say. and not what
they think they should say."

Taricani was forbidden to
discuss his sentence by Tor-
res. who also imposed a series

hers of an international staff

work and train together

"When it comes time to
perform a mission. it seems to
us to be quite awkward for
suddenly members in that in-
ternational staff to say. “I‘m
unable to go because of this
national caveat or national ex-
ception.“ Powell said. “You
are hurting the credibility
and the cohesion of such an
international staff or organi-
zation.“

Despite the dispute. Pow-
ell was warmly cheered by his
fellow foreign ministers on
his final visit to Europe as
secretary of state. Fischer
gave Powell a gift of two cases
and a keg of German beer.
and de Hoop Scheffer gave
him Belgian beer and a model
of a Volvo. Powell‘s favorite
car.

[)uring Thursday's meet-
ings. NATO also struggled to
extend a peacekeeping force

courage such methods. he agreed that

bird droppings pose a problem.
“Bird droppings are slippery and

messy to look at." he said.

E—mail news it kﬂykernclrrmz

Salary

Continued from page 1

highest public university
salary in the country. He l.\
paid 3762.000 a year

in comparison with
these public university pres»
idents. the presidents of pri-
vate universities are earn-
ing much more.

Forty-two private univer
sitj; presidents earn over
the Stalliooo mark. Presi»
dent William R Brody at

Reporter sentenced to house arrest

of tight restrictions so that
the home conﬁnement will
mimic prison time.

The daylong hearing here
took place as federal appeals
court judges in Washington.
DC. began deliberations in
another press freedom case
involving reporters Judith
Miller of the New York Times
and Matthew Cooper of Time
magazine. Both journalists re
fused to appear before the
grand jury looking into who
had leaked the identity of an
undercover CIA agent in the
summer of 2003.

The threejudge panel is

to the Western provinces of
Afghanistan. with no coun-
tries stepping forward to
make specific commitments
to provide troops or equip
ment to support four troop
bases in the region. Italy said
it is considering supplying an
administrative hub to support
the bases. but NATO ofﬁcials
said they were behind in se-
curing commitments of
troops. which are necessary
for April parliamentary elec-
tions.

In a sign of easing ten-
sions over the election crisis
in Ukraine. NATO’s foreign
ministers met with Russian
Foreign Minister Sergei
Lavrov and issued a joint
statement that called for free
and fair elections by the end
of the month.

US. and NATO ofﬁcials
said the mood at the Russian-
NATO session was unusually
good. with Lavrov for the ﬁrst

expected to decide early next
year if Miller and Cooper can
be jailed for contempt.

Taricani a reporter in
Providence for more than 30
years - was convicted last
month of criminal contempt
for refusing to disclose how
he had obtained an FBI sur-
veillance tape in 2000.

The tape was made in con-
junction with Operation Plun~
der Dome. the federal racke~
teering and corruption scan-
dal that sent former Provi-
dence Mayor Vincent A.
“Buddy" Cianci to prison for
five years.

time not complaining about a
failure by NATO to live up to
its commitments. The atmos-
phere was especially striking
because just two days earlier.
Powell and Lava had traded
charges over Ukraine at the
European security forum in
Bulgaria.

“I can honestly say what I
have in front of me I did not
expect last night." de Hoop
Scheffer said. referring to the
joint statement.

Lavrov appeared in a good
spirits at a news conference.
praising NATO for easing
Russia's concerns about the
entry of the Baltic states ~
formerly Soviet republics ,
in NATO. But he repeated
charges of Western interfer-
ence in last month's Ukrain-
ian election. stressing that he
felt the statement made it
clear outsiders should not
try to influence the new elec~
tion.

Johns Hopkins University
earns the most. with a
salary of $897. 786.

Many believe these
salaries are sending the
wrong message about col-
leges' priorities. as salaries
skyrocket to the level of
some top corporate officials.

mm pm 1 sun
Communication freshman Jonathan Sofer rides to work and notices a sidewalk where Physical

Plant Division employees have attempted to mask the odor from the mess left by a flock of star-
lings neat Kastle Hall.

"Along with many CEO
salaries. it's outrageous peo~
ple get paid $10 or $20 mil-
lion." Kennedy said.

E-mail
newsr’u kykernelrom

hour in length,

NEWS BRItrs

Video class has showing

UK's art department‘s Holt l'asoline Tricks. Pilgrim:
featuring Jasmine. the A19 Sensation vy ill be shown at mid-
night Saturday at the Kentucky Theatre

Holy Vaseline Tricks is a (villahoration of videos script-
ed. directed. and ﬁlmed by students in professor Doreen
Maloney's advanced video class The videos have a wide
range of concepts. including relationships. sex and other
issues that hit a variety of interest levels.

Tickets cost 8]. and the show is approximately one

U‘Kﬂhoops guard suspended

Freshman guard Sade Buley has been suspended indeﬁ~
nitely from the UK women's basketball team. assistant ath-
letic director Scott Stricklin said.

UK had no further comment on the matter. Stricklin

said.

Buley played in all seven games for the (Tats. and aver-
aged as points. The Knoxville. Tenn. native was one of
head coach Mickie DeMoss‘ most heralded recruits. She was
ranked as high as No. 17 by several recruiting services.

[7K faces (‘harleston Southern at 7 tonight in Memorial

(‘oliseum

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Friday _ t <
Dec. 10. 2004 ; .
PAGE 3 Email: hcanadaOityliernelrom

Hillary Canada
Asst Features Editor
Phone 2571915

AdVGIItIII'GSAbl'oad I Europe 101
Leave the shorts; take the gelato

If your
grueling
studying
makes you
t h i n k
you're liv-
ing out a
weeklong
marathon
of The

Learning Chris

ChanneL
then that .Sﬂlllllmaﬂn

must make KERNEL COLUMNISI
me corny

late-night TV that doesn't real
ize nobody‘s watching ~ the
one that gives you a headache
before you hear the first joke.

I feel I‘m capable. so here it
goes. Drumroll. please.

The Top 10 Things You
Didn‘t Realize about Traveling
in Italy:

No. 10: After six months
of French inﬂuence. reverse
culture shock will begin to
twist your ear before you leave
the country Before you even
get to Italy. you will undoubt-
edly run into an American
funny boy on the beaches of
Nice. France. This clown will
probably be from Los Angeles.
wear more hair product than
Bon Jovi in his glory days.
and have the IQ of the small-
est. most withered peanut in
the box.

For example. during one
conversation. he actually
asked how to say “thank you"
in French.

“Slowly" I replied.

Naturally. Porcupine Boy
thinks you‘re best buds. and
he's “studying" in Rome.
where you‘re headed next.
You'll be seeing much more of
each other. This is. of course.
just wonderful. as it gives him
even more time to tell you
about his whole life story. in-
cluding his wild spring break
in Cancun. how blonde his
girlfriend is back in Cali. and
110w many raw eggs he can eat
in one sitting.

No.9: There seems to be a
lack of male backpackers hit-

ting the rails in Europe.
Therefore. you‘ll undoubtedly
be traveling with girls You
will most certainly be yet
again. the only fella. And you
know better than to argue
with three women on the go

Porcupine Boy will have
his moments of brief wisdom
when he profoundly admits.
“Hey. man. that‘s gotta suck." I
say this only because I know
you can take a joke. ladies.
and that on some level. I know
you understand.

No. 8: You‘ll decide to
wear shorts as you travel
through the conventional
space-heater that is Roma.
This will include the day that
you visit the Vatican.

As you‘ re standing in line.
you will think heavenly
thoughts while you stare at
the girl in front of you in her
black ﬁshnet blouse and red
bra. You'll snap out of this
when the "Guardian of the
Gates" stops you and points to
a sign that indicates “N0
Shorts." He‘s happy now to
have done God's good work.
and you‘ll watch. stupeﬁed. as
Red Bra strolls right in.

But don‘t worry a they
sell paper pants at all the ven-
dors for $5. Apparently this
sort of thing has happened be-
fore. And in buying ~ and
donning a these ridiculous
contraptions. you are ren‘
dered respectable enough to
enter.

You’ll then smile and wave
hello to Red Bra when you en-
ter the Vatican.

No. 7: Leaving. you‘ll sell
back the ridiculous paper
pants to the next tourist who
thinks he can roll into God‘s
crib with shorts on. Just who
do you think you are. buddy.
St. Peter? Next time. why don‘t
you just try to walk up in your
underwear. huh?

No. 6: By Pompeii. you‘ll
begin to realize a few things
about Italian culture For ex-
ample the Italian temper is

not a fairy tale and probably
originated on Italian roads.
They use their horns more
than they use their brakes.
they constantly have a run-
ning dialogue with the igno-
rant driver in front of them.
and trafﬁc lights just look
pretty on street corners.

No. 5. Italian trains are al-
ways late. Italian girls always
look good. and it‘s only a mat
ter of time before you ll be hit
by an overcrowded bus on its
way to the Coliseum. You’ll
also begin to suspect that all
Italians. even the bus drivers
and ice cream vendors. have
ties to the Maﬁa.

No. 4: In Florence. you
will certainly realize that you
don‘t know anything about Re-
naissance art. architecture or
sculpture. but the gelato is
grand!

No. 3: By Venice. you'll re-
alize that every Italian really
does have ties with the Maﬁa.
especially the bus drivers and
ice cream vendors.

No. 2: Venice doesn't stink
— Italy does.

And the No. 1 thing that
you didn‘t realize about travel-
ing in Italy? You will in-
evitably spend too much mon~
ey. eat too much pizza and
gelato. and get a sunburn on
the end of your nose. the back
of your neck. and the tops of
your feet — but you‘ll never
again expect to walk into an
Italian church with shorts on!

(Insert lukewarm ap-
plause and overexcited musi-
cal ﬁller.)

And in the good spirit of
late-night television. you real-
ize too late that you‘ve wasted
your time. and that you were
better off reading a book be-
fore hitting the sack.

But don't distress. because
the Learning Channel is sure
to run another special on
Napoleon soon v and perhaps
you‘ll learn something.

E-mail
features u hykernelrom

Mr. Incred

There's a pile of movies I
want to see. anti they‘ve all
been released right when I‘ll
be working
myself into
a near-dead
state for ﬁ-
nals and
pmjects.

F o r
starters.
there's Na-
tional Trea~ ~
sure. The Stephen

Polar Er

[ms and Burnett
m a V b C KERN“ COLUMNIST
Christmas

with the

Kranks. and a new Walden Me-
dia ﬁlm. I Am Docid. that's
supposedly only available in
limited release. (Next year.
Walden's T he Lion. the Witch
and the Wardrobe will assured-
ly be in a lot more locations.)

Ilook forward to seeing
lots of new films after finals.
But I also want to see The In
cratibles a second time.

It's great not just be-
cause of the usual Pixar Ani-
mation Studios commitment
to soaring stories. great char-
acters. fastpaced plotting and
stunning visuals. but because
of yet another Pixar-generated
record in mainstream enter-
tainment: Mr. Incredible is the
best celluloid father we've
seen in a long time. after
decades of "dork dad" stereo»
types. most of them on TV

Originally. TV dads were
stereotypical in a good way.
Andy Taylor. Ward Cleaver
and Mike Brady were near-
perfect fathers. They went to
work mostly offcamera. they
taught their kids about values
during the show's running
time. and rarely did anything
remotely ridiculous or deni-
grating.

When feminism got more
popular. that characterization
shiﬁed just a little. then went
clear to the opposite extreme.
Suddenly in pop cultine. Mom
knew everything and did most
of the moral value-teaching at
home: Dad became a total id-
iot. if he was there at all.

Take The lh’n'nstein Items.
Who was the foil of that vast
empire of illustrated chil
dren‘s books? Good old Papa
Bear. His head looked pretty
much like the rest. but with
considerably less brain capaci-

ty .

Papa Bear stuffed his face
with junk food right along
with the kids; Mama Bear had

ible: Incredible dad

to teach them all the virtues of
healthy consumption. When
Papa Bear and the kids had a
bad addiction to TV Mama
Bear had to teach them how to
exercise instead. When Broth-
er and Sister Bear got into a
ﬁght one rainy afternoon.
Papa Bear just joined right in
and screamed uselessly:
Mama Bear took control.

What a great message to
both Mama and Papa 110n-
bears nationwide: Mom. you
have to be smart and perfect
all the time. Dad. you're a los-
er: let's all laugh at you.

The same thing repeated
itself in sitcoms throughout
the ‘90s. but better media dads
are slowly coming back.

(‘Iiff Huxtable was one of
the ﬁrst a great dad. but fre-
quently lectured by his wife.
mostly about his frequent eat-
ing of hoagies and other salt-
intensive goodies. Rarely
would he ever lecture her
about anything and be right.
Sure. it was funny. but a little
cliched and still slightly de-
meaning to fathers.

More recently. family
movies have strangely come
back way ahead of family TV
shows. and Pixar has been at
the forefront.

But Toy Story and its se-
quel sort of fell into the "dork
dad" trap anyway: You never
saw Andy‘s father The only
dads seen were poor role mod-
els. like Sid‘s dad. crashed on
the couch in front of the TV or
Buzz Lightyear's dad. the Evil
Emperor Zurg.

Later. in Monsters. Inc. and
especially Finding Nemo. the
nations good fathers came in.
Sully was a caring but power-
ful father ﬁgure; Marlin the
clown ﬁsh was nervous and
had to learn to take risks. but
loved and rescued his son.

This year Bob Parr beats
them all. not only because he‘s
really the retired superhero
turned»insurance-claims-ad-
juster Mr. Incredible. who has
to accept a secret assignment
to save the world once again.
but because Mr. Incredible is
anyone's idea of an ultimate
dad.

Why? First. he can bench-
press freight engines. In and
out of the super-suit. he loves
helping people. from a little old
lady in his ofﬁce cubicle to cit
izens in a burning building.

He loves his children and
cares about their lives and
dreams and while he wants
his children to use their natur-

al superpowered talents. his
wife Helen opposes him. and it
turns out she's the one who
needs to learn from him.

And Bob loves Helen
(who's also retired superhero
Elastigirl). and they model one
of the best husband wife rela
tionships we've seen in any
ﬁlm genre in a long time.

A ( os_bv writer would be
tempted to have this guy fall
all over another woman. But
when Mr. Incredible is hang
ing out with another woman
on top- sec ret assignment. he‘s
not interested. Later. Bob reas-
sures Helen nothing was going

‘How could I betray the
greatest woman in the world'. "‘

Unlike Claire Huxtable.
Helen Parr never lectures Bob
about his overeating. Instead.
to ﬁt into his old super-suit.
Bob works out to slim down on
his own with no dieting aids.

Incredibles writer director
Brad Bird (lid have some fun
with the whole “husband's
midlife crisis" thing. But hav-
ing superpowers lets Mr. In-
credible get over it more easily.
along with topsec ret jobs that
result in more time to spend
with the children and enough
money to buy a new sports car.

But what's more impor-
t.ant property or family when
the superv illain kidnaps b my
lack- lack and is ro< keting up
over the P: irrs home‘.’ A
stereotyped Dork Media Fa
ther would spend a second or
more whining about what to
do. Not here. Mr. Incredible
grabs the ﬁrst thing he can
ﬁnd to hurl at the kidnapper

the aforementioned sports
car.

And Mr Incredible learned
he had to work with his family
to save the world. But each
family member learned a les
son of some kind. not just the
dweeby comic-relief dad.

Maybe your dad was a real
jerk or never there. But
maybe with the guys and fa-
thers at I’anr doing a little
to regain the profession of fa-
therhood. all the nation‘s Won
derful dads can regain their
honor and get rid of the true
idiot in media: Stupid stereo-
types for fathers.

“Mr. Incredible is not real!"
you may shout. Fine. that's
your opinion. but like in all
gorid movies. the character nir-
tainly seemed real enough to
me. He kind of reminds me of
someone I know Thanks. Dad.

E—mai'l
fmtumwkykernelmm

Pizza & Pasta with Personalityy.»
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JENNIFER
MUMPHRE V

CONGRATULATIONS
TO THE NEW
PANHELLENIC

EXECUTIVE COUNCILII

President
Rachel Loveioy
VP Recruitment
Danielle Jarvis
VP Recruitment-elect
Stephanie Jones
VP Organization
Liz Urso
VP Scholarship
Christina Murtaugh
Programming Chair
Katie Houghtlin
Leadership Training
Mary Ellen Fortney
Intersorority Relations
Jaclyn Minch
Publicity Chair
Ashley Mowery
Philanthropy
Sara Stoff
Secretary
Clare Harbison
Treasurer
Amanda Deakyne
Junior Panhellenic Adviser
Lora Winstead

Friday
Dec. 10, 2004
PAGE 4

P
.. a” . . ,. gm. ._.

1111011

Mr. Vice President. Wyoming

receives the most counter-

terrorism funding per capita,
Can you justify this?

Well... there have been no
reports of cow-tipping in

Ethics key for next police chief

Former UK Police Chief Fred H.
Otto III made his share of mistakes
and his successor would do well to avoid
them.

A good start would be to have high-
er personal ethics than ()tto did

Otto resigned Nov. 2:4. ostensibly to
"pursue educational opixirtunities." but
an Open Records request filed by the
Kernel showed that Otto had been repri
manded a month earlier by Ken
Clevidence. associate vice president for
campus service. for "questionable ethi
ca] behavior: "

Not only did Otto use a police
department graduate assistant for help
with his graduate homework at Eastern
Kentucky liniyersity: but he also
changed his story with ( ‘leyidcnce First
he denied the allegation of wrongdoing
altogether. and later he tried to justify

They say that college is supposed to
comprise some of the best years of our
lives.

ldon't know who

the lllilqlllltills

"they" are. or on

whose authority

they 've ascertained

this. but judging by

the hellish semester

l'ye nearly coiiiplet

(only narrowly

iiiiscatherli. they are
utterly mistaken

word.

as: etl
Crystal
Little

itiiiiii COLUMNlS' I” ll
wrong

.lu 'glmg
working one or more jobs. sttidy mg for
ﬁnals and all the other everyday things
that we do paying rent. feeding the
dogcat‘goldﬁsh. remembering to get
the oil changed is difficult. to say the
least.

in fact. it's downright stressful

Quite understandably. dead week
and finals compound this stress

Over the course of this week. l‘ve
written three papers and am currently
taking a reprieve froiti freaking out oyer
two take-home finals by writing this col
umn.

(it‘s sad when you escape froiti
school by working. no?)

So if these are indeed supposed to
be events from the best years of my life.
I'm quite ready to commit suicide now.
as things can only go down from here
the only question is in what manner
and where to get the gun. pills. razor
blade or other means of ending said life
in an effective manner.

[actually think that graduating and