xt7c599z1543 https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7c599z1543/data/mets.xml University of Kentucky Fayette County, Kentucky The Kentucky Kernel 19410523  newspapers sn89058402 English  Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, May 23, 1941 text The Kentucky Kernel, May 23, 1941 1941 2013 true xt7c599z1543 section xt7c599z1543 rang Nach Lexington Is Virtually Comple ted

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UNIVERSITY

XXI

VOLUME

i"

OF KENTUCKY

LEXINGTON. KENIICKY, FRIDAY.

MAY 'IX I'M

NUMBER

I

"Mild Bill" McGuffey initial Attempt
To Head Puppet State At Reorganization
New President
Will Kulc With

Big Stick'

His

inch stick behind my back," de- the new potentate, whose
hobby is raising championship cows.
"Only such tews as will be necessary
will be put in force. In all things
we will try to conform to the princi- rlpies of our Fuehrer (Heil Hohn- -

'

wllllflWIlf

c tared

j

j
j

ch

Fuehrer

The ASU. BSU, SUB. SGA. ASCE,
SIA, ODK, BMOC, WAA, f
OGPU, NYA, CAA. and PTA were
reorganized with blitzkrieg rapioity
Mc-- !
last night in the
Guffey's initial shake-u- p
of UK
groups.
"These organizations had to go
PDQ." said Abie C. McGuffey, cou- sin of the president and new Alpha- let Director, "because they weren't
carrying out their functions to the
letter. When I begin, things will
be OK. They will function letter-perfect.
"What the hell," he said in conclu-- ;
of new sion, "We'll all be in the AEF soon
i
enough anyhow."

jix

Mas JVo Designs

On University High School

(Mild Bill) McGuffey said
in an uncensored dispatch to The
Herr

fj

Karnal late last night, that he had

LEGGO!

So, dammit, you leggo'
other." one official declared, "Steps
will be taken immediately to move
them the required distance apart."
a
Tins was
movement for greater distance be- -

-i-

n ko orf,.ri-

-

no evil designs against University
high school
at least for the
lime being.
"Anybody who-hathe lousy nerve
to think I'd put a finger on those
little twerps can go and k"(U&S",
said the new Fuehrer of UKadia," as
he heiled his lieutenants. "In the
first place, they're not worth a
"&HG ra lb, and in the second place,
I've got to concentrate on ridding
lhe bl? grab. uKadia, of all the
radtcai elements Boy oh boy. is that
going to be Juicy,
"And don't quote me on this,
either, but Just between you and
me. what I said about not taking
into protective custody is
a lot of &'1b'!i&.'
Herr ,Mild Bill McGuffey re- -

McGuffey Sticks
Placed On Sale
In Book Store

...

''

tween all things. Classrooms will
be moved apart: students will be
parted from their money; the 1-8inch stride in walking and running
onrf the old-fas- hwill be replaced

ruler

'

'

officially approved Mcsticks may be bought
at the University bookstore,
it was announced today.
Attention was called to the
ruling prohibiting contact closer than 18 inches, and all students were advised to be on the
safe side. Don't depend on your
own judgment! Be sure. Use the
regulation McGuffey stick. It's
accurate; it's approved.
The sticks are priced at 50 cents
apiece, which is sheer robbery,
but since you practically have to
buy them there's nothing you
can do about it but pay. brother,
pay.
The Deluxe models autographed by President McGuffey
himself, are priced at 75 cents.
Come in and get hooked, you'll
be going into the army anyway.
New,

Guffey

toned
approved Mc- -;
bv the
'
.iterated
intentions to- ch
rule.
Ouffey
HttlTuKadia province, and
When querieu as to the ancient tnen thumbed nis nose at
Mdcnt
t'Kadian custom of "courtin , au- - Patterson's statue. To the surprise
up their of everybody, the statue came to
thnritative sources threw
little fingers in horror (Hell Hohn- -; life and saluted as Herr (Mild Bill)
McGuffy passed by and bystanders
son) and exclaimed, '&? &
distinctly heard Ole Pat! say. Thank
NEVER."
"Courtin is OUT," they explained, God, he ll be going to the army
when pressed for decipherable de- - soon."
tails. "Marriage will henceforth be
W
engineered by the state (Heil Hohn- on. and couples will be mated in
accordance with acceptance principles of blood and thunder."
Shotguns will be of no avail. It
was indicated, since the state is an
intangible thing and not vulnerable, as in bridge. All marriages
UI
be supervised by the state.
ch

--

"

nr., Ml UMXZ l'rai8eS 1X001 t(l I
f
il
Of Modern Prance Club

t

'C'mon Over Boys'

iiiiin

Karnal
Dance Kritik

Say

Trustee Blitz

By PKANN

Strikes Rapidly

Kernel

Striking with blitzkrieg rapidity
last night the Bearded Trustees
struck with blitzkrieg rapidty. de- daring "Blitzkreigs are striking with
rapidity now that we hardly
know when they are going to strike
"ext."
we aun t nxe stnxes. especially
when done by rapd blitzgriegs,"
they added rapidly continuing with
the striking announcement, "We
pre going t as u.C
0.

BAN

7.

Critic

Illustrating seven delirious peri- of prallcing tne M(Xlem pra,
'

j

V

j

opened its third
recital last night before a ter- rific audience in the Guignol thea- v
ter, with the permission of Frank
Fowler.
The marathon, which had the audience in the aisles on numerous
occasions, will continue tonight, and
you want tJ sw; the most grace.
u,. ,UXuKU
lul delightful, d.dious dancing
Pidity. before a blitzkrieg strikes.
get lhe heU ovr U)ere tonlfllt
Then, blitzing with striking ra- - and give the dames a break.
cic
piany, i.nej ueciareu nicy
part of the program
The
struck
ith the rapidity with which showed first revolution of the trance
SENIOR BALL tJl'EEN
the blitz krieged, adding "It struck through the
Primitive, Greek, Roman,
ith bearded rapidity before we) early Middle Ages and late Middle
So thrilled over her clciiion.
knew what happened." Striking out roadhouse style, besides Classical,
she lost her head.
8t blitzkriegs in general they com- Romantic and modern
trusting vapidity, (Rug supplied by Wheelers . . adv.)
with
mented
"Only a strike could with so beard-edl- y,
Dance studies ranged from solar
Ye!
o rrapid so vapidly, except in movements
to interpretations of
case of a blitzkreig."
Hell, and these made up the second
This issue is written mid pub' But what the liell," they declared
part of lhe program. Other studies
lished by the senior class of the
!
!n conclusion, "before long we'll, given were the high and low,
any
depart
gutter! journalism to The inent. ami
all be blitzkrieging in the rapidity, lustrating the
and
similarity
Kernel, either
'
Ken- period of the American dance.
tf things keep up like they are."
living or dead, is purely etc.,
tucky moon .rhythm of Sweet
etc.. etc.
spring.
'
'inds
nin8
Sea is a swoose.
Anyone who i;ik's seriously
I am a filler. I fill up little spaces Miss m"la Hllso reaa tlie studies
anything said in this issue is a
ancl movement.
of PetrJr
like this
d
nannygoat
and
The recital, sponsored by the Aid- I am a filler. I am made to fill
ought to be struck down with
club and the Physical
up those spaces about as big as
lightning rapidity.
i Signed i
this .which are not large enough Erradlation Department was given
by twelve dames, all members of
anything else.
for
THE J'LISM. S'RS
I am a pretty little filler. Ain't the club. Come in and see it before

,.

i

5:15 a. m. laylight
Time today the
forces of UKidia laid do'vn
their arms and capitulated to
the blitz army of Franken-fur- t.
The surrender came
after the UKadian Imperial
Senate announced its abdication "in the interest of the
future welfare of the nation."
U'ithin the hour. His Excellency, Herr (call me Huey)
Hohnson. supreme commander of the Kyian empire, declared reorjfanschluss completed between Frankenfurt
and UKadia. and named His
Excellency. Herr ("Mild Bill")
McGuffey president of the new
puppet state, replacing tfaa
ousted Senate.
At

'

-

v

Waiting

ASME,

j
i

that the entire
He indicated
eamptusl would be placed under
military surveillance to see that the
rule" is enforced. This will
mean that "All ritixens will be forMcGt'FFEY AND PET
each other
bidden to approach
Hill Mt'jx?d on! to look lor li is Mirk. For other
closer than 18 Inches, under penally of deatb or exile."
president see page 03.
Sources close to the govenunent
intimated that some of the buildings would be moved further apart
to conform to this ruling.
"Rooms in the dormitories, in particular, arc shamefully close to each

.

SENATE OUSTED

(Jet The Axe

new-pre-

ton).

n.wa-prew-

DEMOCRATIC

BMOC, WAA, NYA,
('A A, OGPU, OUK

"("Mild

Herr

Excellency

18

"18-in-

!)

YWCA,ROTC,PTA,

BUD McOuffey, new head of the
reorganized
UKadian government
intimated today in an interview
with Karual representatives that
he would rule "with a long stick."
"I will talk softly, but carry

ventionalists,

an-su- ch

j

1

g.

.

Here

il--

bar-roo- m

w

three-legge-

in

'

....

--

vt

--

r..:.-.

xy

i
'

'

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T-

-

I

...

?,,f.
,

.

7

SEAT OF PANTS

To assist Herr McGufley in h s
administration. Der Frankenfur.
appointed
Herr Herman ( Pinch
penny
Peteischtuken as Minister
of Finance, and Herr Kneel
as Minister of Pro-

7:
-

;

paganda.

FTom his palace in das

BURNED IN FIRE
Blaze Blamed
For Senate Kill

THE GESTAPO
Gl Y. A GAU-AN- B
Alt IioiijuIi the new lltiitiiii of I'tihlii K.nli;liieniiieiil
in. "ni in i like ihi.'' an alert Kar-as
nal ihotograihei iau;ht thete intiixetil
iilims ol i in niiMame
were illicit epled
it
men (Imhmmmi) w ho is alxuil to "take ihcii nieaMiie" w itli thai imrst
one ol M( (uIIcy's (esta
rigorous ol all rules, lhe (Ire. tiled MiGullev stiik on sale al the liooksloit' (ad ).

Striking with blitzkrieg rapidity.
fire which started in a waste bas- ket from a five-fcigar
was blamed for the death of the
University Senate late last night by
observers.
The committee consisted of Dean
UKadia will not only get. the'
T. T. Bones. Blitzfuehrer
Heir
d
fieldhouse. but also an
Mild Bill McGuffey. Dr Krank
moveable,
L. McSway. behea;ed Fuehrer, and
Herr
His Excellency
outhouse.
Soldat Hohnson.
The committee returned a report' f'Mild Bill") McGuffey declared
h
which said a fire similar to that last n'8ht when cornered by a
which they destroyed the nal newsowl in the shower room of
Reichstag, burned the seat of thejthe Women's gymnasium.
Senate's pants out completely. As; The plans for both edifices althe Senate had only one pair of ready have been drafted and conpants, the committee deemed it ex- struction will begin as soon as Der
pedient to abolish the whole damned Fuehrer Hohnson puts his thumbthing and in its place set up the print on the documents, the new
iron-hablitzrule body which is head of the reorganized UKadian
expected to "give the blitz." to every- government, said "Anc. you ran
body. 'Confidentially." said the comContinued on Page 4. honest"
mittee, "this whole thing was all
planned, of course. Things don't
blitr, by themselves, after all But
for the public, we'll say a cheap
cigar started it. They're all goin'
in the army anyway."

President .Promises UKadia
New Field House, Oul-- I louse

ARE ARRESTED
Said to Be 'Locked
In Illegal Embrace
Caught

'

(see
forest openly
violating the
rule, two stiir
(Irnis were arrested lute last night
ns the first, violators and will undoubtedly become martyrs.
Officials
'SearchliglW
and "Hawkeye" Blanding-lvf- f.
caught the criminals m
who
tlitir dastardly deed declared that
they had secured a written confession from the culprits, ol course.
d
"They will undoubtedly be
as a public example for the
rest of he empire." Kellvschtuker.
decln red
"And they ought to be ashamed
f.
nf themselves." interrupted
sticking her nose in as usThey are a disgrace to the
ual
rampus. the state, and our Fuehrer
'Heil Hohnson ."
According to the evidence submitted the two students, whose sex
as not disclosed, were
and identity
I'Mked in illegal embrace notwithstanding the decree of Der Fuehrer.
And. in addition, they were found
to be of
blood and could
produce no certificate of Licentious
license."
When interviewed by Karnal re-- h
uters in their padded cells today.
Hie criminals declared. "What the
hell di we care, we're genu' in the

turn

Kar-wit-

open-hande-

d

in the Ukadian

Kellv-schtuk-

nd

ARTI IT'S BREAM
In

i

pun-Hie-

lillioiisr

Conrad .Massacres Foliage
Willi His lllv Itiiidv llaU-lie-

Flunkouter Declares

I

j

ultra-moder- n,

Sea To Be Swoose

Bland-inghof-

l
'

Confirming
rumors which had
been circulating
throughout the
journalism department for Severn
weeks. Dr. W. D. Flunkouter. cani- pus gravedigger yesterday completed
an investivation to determine the
identity of Andrew M. Sea.
"These analyses." Doctor Flunk-oute- r
announced, "prove beyond
shadow of a doubt that Sea definitely is a swoose."
annv nvav."
"In fact," he added, "he is a very
rare specimen of swoose. He belongs
to a fauna known as 'Flashbulbus "
pinballius outing-clubu- s
interrogo'.
an extremely scarce variety found
only in the Upper Volta region of
the Peloppenesian Peninsula."
Striking with blitzkrieg rapidity.!
'HONEST JWVN' CONRAD ANB TK El
Other unusual qualities
were
tne
Hen- Kneel PhimberschHiken.
found in Sea, Doctor Flunkouter
of
of Propaganda
new Minister
loo luiiii lm Ihr iilh of Kfntiuhy
added, such as sponges seaweed,
disclosed today that he had:
r
the keys to Davy Jones' locker, and
Then, between blows he told
Honest .lawn" Conrad, deposed
members to 'he newly-crea- tthe hulk of the H.M.S. Zamzain.
Kelly how he. returning Imtne
rcloim president of the Interfri-ternilhis
"Sea is indeed an extraordinary
the hbiary about 10. MS o 'click t.i Piei.st A us Deutschland
council and unofficial good from
delegate." Flunkmi4-iibbered a
Tuesday night, had heard "subdued home fir dinner tonight.
of the Phi Tail chapter. voices and frivolous laughter' em- few seconds before hp fnintpH rienl influenc
The Karnal learned from author-- j
away."
was yesterday named by campus anating from the depths of the Oar-desources 'hat Herr Plumber- schttikrn had a "Blood purge" in
police as the person guilty of desUnable to control his anger, he
troying 27 trees and six hydrangea
similar to the recent Roehm
A.
bushes in the Botanical Gardens testified, he ran home, sieved his incident
customarily uses to
axe which he
last Tuesday night.
Plumberachtuken'.s
attitude to- Conrad .who confessed after a smash beer bottles. Phi Taus stated" wind Ukadian journalism was well
A. Slyde Roole. engineering
began hacking his way through
senbrief quest ioning durum which he and
ior, has been awarded first prize was beaten heartily about the head the loihage By 'he tune police ap- - summed up in a recent speech he
in the national Prix de Rome comhim. twenty nun..tes ume in whuh he said "Der Mm- and face by Officer Kelly, said that prehended
is
petition, according to word received he had committed the act "as a later .he had cut his way through istiv of Public Enlightenment
here hTursday direct from Benito service to the student body of the an area all by ''," yards square, and sick ot sticking Its neck out. We
Mussolini, judge of the contest.
just starting on the stone wall; fuse to lake any further responsi- University."
Roole's winning entry was a mod
behind the commerce building
d
Too long," he shouted, "has tl
bilitv for the comments of the
ern design for an emblem to be youth of Kentucky been permitted
mav I say.' Conrad spouted nA press After all you ran see our
placed in the circular space over to Iritter its tiin' away in pnrsuil as otfa ers dragged him away kick- - !Vienoint can't von?
the entrance of Lafferty hall, local of practices unbecoming ladies and in- - o !
il "that I have
citv
And oesnies." he added as an
liar's headquarters.
I am
gentlemen; too long has it been al- no regrets
if anything.
The emblem consists of a privy lowed to expend Us energies in proud, for I have become a martyr." afterthought. "What are you beefiu"
about, thev il be in the army soon
mounted on a truck. On the privy frivolities.
On his way to prison he attempted
door is cut a star and a
"These things must, go." Conrad to recruit four of the police force am wav,"
and under the intricate work ap-- , continued .clambering upon a bar- for his crusade, but was silenced bv
.11 ...u,,i ,.,.,.
pears the inscription. "Court of rel and gesticulating wildly, "and Officer Kelly, who administered a
Now Ls the run,.
The Star Chamtier. Now Sittini.' in I. Conrad, have had a divine uin- - sharp rap over the head with a"
come to tli e aid o their nioi her's
I

V

This Is
On The Level!

Plumherschtuken
Will Purge Tonight

.

'

y

j

j

Slyde Itoole

;

Wins Contest

j

j
'

rad-"An-

.

.is

half-moo- n,

i

m..

Franken-strass-

Der Fuehrer explained that
the new regime was designed onlv
to defend UKadia from Its "radical, treacherous leaders."
The old UKadian administration,
he pointed out. was topheavy ant
cumbersome, and based on "de- spicable democratic principles..'
A
united Kyian empire, he explained.
will be more efficient, more glorious, more lucrative, more profit
able, and much more.
T call upon the UKadian people.
Der Fuehrer "Heil Hohnson' d- elated. "To show their true Eeryian
blood, or else."
Informed that the UKadian peoples were antagonistic to the new
government, and had. indeed, circulated petitions asking for the return of their Senate. Der Fuehrer
(Heil Hohnson muttered. "Oh whar.
the hell, they're all going in the
army anyway."
Sources close to the government
indicated that the new UKadian administration would dictate all future policies.
"The absurd belief that the peo- pie should have any voice in their
own government is an outworn communist tradition instigated by the
radical groups which dominated the
old UKadian empire." one official
declared. "They have been aided in
this work of deception by the radical press which was controlled directly from Communist headquarters in McVey hall"
"We are ready to rid the race of
its Ted' revolters." another official
proclaimed. "We will no longer tolerate si.ch preachings of Marxian
doctrines as was allowed under the
old regime."
"Our watchword must hencefor'p
be "Heil Hohnson. Heil Scole. Heil
McGuffey. Kyianland uber alley.;
und ein Lebensraum in every garage."

TWO STUDENTS

i

n.

VJ

UKadia Made Puppet State
Vrankenjurl fuehrer

ASU, HSU, SUB,
SGA, ASCE, ASME,
AS EE, YMCA, SIA,

4A

kernel

j

'

There will be a meeting a( al!
member of the graduating class in
Memorial Hall mi Monday. May IS,
a I n.nv. for the purpose of
virwiyij ine eommeneemen
eetture, it has been announced br
Dr Leo M. Chamberlain, registrar,
i i urgent that all members of
the class be present. Doctor t'ham-itativ- e
berlain said. President Cooper "til
preside, and the Deans of the
eral colleges and Colonel Donnelly
head of the military science depart- ment, will axist with the program
The junior students of Jewell ha'i
"l entertain for the Jewell hall
seniors, with a breakfast at 9:30 a m
Sunday at the Ashand Country club.
The breakfast, traditional ann'Mi
affair, will be characterized by a
military motif. Transportation w;!l
be furnished, with cars leaving the
rtormi'orv af 0 o'clock
meet 4 30
German club picnic
Saturday in administration build
ing All wishing to attend please
sign up in the administration buiid- -

* -

LA.

'I

THE KENTUCKY KARNAL

FIJI. MAY 23, 1941

OFFICIAL NEWSPAPER OP THE STUDENTS OP THE UNIVERSITY OP KENTUCKY
Fufci-ieHE-

DURWO TH

T

kACtPI

HOLIDAYS

..... u
.0i.a

c

im

ran

.ltr

OR

EXAMINATION

TM

BCBOOL
PERIODS

at unntton. Kentuck,,

oai

under the Act of March

1.

m

W1.

MEMBER

""'

"

""

f

subscription rates
00

.rn.irt ,,d

dpacd
tfo

n' Tw

ients. the faculti.

,(W01

.

Lcm-inf-

rrr obrtmttif int of trip,
Ine writert. the editor, the
The Kernel, or anybody.
o

r

w

I

by Bub Almonds
fust disoeit'tl the existence of such a situation, and had it not
for the positive, progressive nature, and regressive nature of his investigations we could not treat with the subject
wiih such hit itlit v.
Now, the qualities of the various forces which
toiiiMise the I111.il fot 111 of our subject must also
tome in for eaminat ion, for to what end must
we aim. if the worldly consequences of our jests
us in an understandable
ate not plated

ish ki prove thai it's not right.

oi''tiTUfN

it--

of neglecting

-

ln-e-

k-- i

from the normally universal
j(ialiiics integiatetl with all su h haftling in- a

jniu
i

ti

tltartiire
I

m--

it

However, on I lie other hand, one mustn't em-j- i
means of invest igal ion, for the
Iimi in.in
natural phenomena whit Ii results when the
imtid vis out to unveil the enshrouded
su h an integral ion ol
I'lolilems treated l
foiiis would, iti ait'v titse; mtirtwifcHfiY uuuoe us
Ik- - realm ol truth and would,
unfortunately, In in alxtut a dilemma.
Ii WE'. Lode, the British philosopher, who

loitnr
bat k over the years! In what

other period

ol history has the sii 11:11 ion assumed such grave

By I

1

time when the
gross eaggeiaiions;rTTie: sundry implications
ol an esoteric cause, was pmnmlgaied with such
lervor. with suth feeling, with such warmth and
honor. Xo! F.tnphaiirallv, again we sav no!

wystis's

ii ou want 10 make a good standing
and ttriaiiilv if y,,,, don't have it. work votn
va thioiigh this dump, get eletled jresitlent ol
1!.. stutlt m UkIv. li s a pushover,
attt.rtliirg to
l'..ill halrsy Allen. erspiring former Filt hier.
"it's a lot of fun, and you have lots 10 show mi
'.oui end eath year. Why I took $.100 in gialt
alone, and
thai ain't hay. If I didn't have
.to :tt nd 1 lass I .011 Id have taken a half grant!,

a

Bkimikk

the Cox ingion U.y. who worked his way through
this dump in four years olishing the Pershing
Rifles lor Lieutenant Donnelly, chief
He also Ix xiked out t hecks ai the library and car- lied an extlusive pacr route in the college rest
rooms.
shot-with-i-

all this Allen has made a terrible stand- ,
ing in stiff
and he ought to know
what he's squawking about.
?
he position didn t cut loo deeply into his
s;titl Babsv. for while in his first three
sl.inthiig.
.
.
years he made a l.l siantlmg, right now he s
piettv tl.imuetl lutkv if he makes a 3.
"Ol course. Iie.ng president you gel 10 know
the prolcssors prtttv well, and ihev all give Vs
.
..
c
u
'
me itgis- " V" I'"'
e

pre-nied-

ta-..- "

Bunging to a lose a year of iron hand nihil) whith he almost underhandedlv yanked the
slow moving body from its treasury, he stalled
tilings t linking. Me had plenty of comlpainis to

'

1

!'ti(e about

100, hough.
Chewing on his everpieseui cud. ihe shoit.
phmky laimtr president spat t,ut in uiuouih
s iitent es the gory story of his ex
rient es.

job

I

ever had

'

'"

laiurc.'

(

1

"'"e

1

Allen ut ciil prelly much as president. But
compared to what he look in , he savs, the ha I
ante ol nade is all in his favor.

sii.l

"Carnal" They Slav...
cf the
Week
Bv

KI.IA DOBERMAN

Perfesser Is Sik
Ant Tried Uf Dese
Errows In Karnal

am-w.iy-

sev-ei-

Dear Editor:
Dis is de foist time I am wrltin'
l de Koinel. I am an English in- five years from now?"
Runc-l- l
Patterson, engineering structer upstairs of you and I'm sick
tire't of een dem
hi
junior -- Well, on the one hand I
mitrhl he wnrkina tnmpvhm' nrt yOUSeS paper.
you xanl gu ya rePoner ter
then again I may not be working.
Then again I may be in the army ?Iltl,g!l?de .E!?elishe den ": him
staf.
and then too perhaps I might not
About tree weeks ago I wus read- be in the army. Here, have a cigar." m som?thin
in yer peper about
Dora Peery. freshman
"Oh, fraternity week or somethin' like
you have to make out dat. and dere wus a tetTibel errer
gosh; do
your schedule that far in advance?' in spellin. Erf emirs I soopose dat
Why. when I registered last March the k'd who wrot It wus jist a
they told me I only had to decice irishman, but. anyway, yuse ort to
carfuI
now on.
what I wanted .to take during the
Sincurly yens.
next semester. Sho nuff. do you
Grunt C. Nite
really have to know about it now?
I didn't know, honest, I didn't . . .
they should have told me . . .
Buddy Sellars... sophomoie
"I
don't know; I'm pinnea."
Lloyd Robrrtsm, junior "If this
John Marshall Prewitt, mascot of
is another one of your gawddammed
of the United Daughters of ' the
hell week attacks
Confederacy. and one-m- an
militia
Doniphan Burrus, first year shyof the Delta Tau
ster "Well, barring further and has been awarded Shelta Shelta.
fel- a two-yemore enveloping circumstances
in iowship at Tuskagee
Institute, It
the international situation, and was announced
'
yesterday
other similar developments of a doPrewitt. who is a veteran of. Shir- mestic, local, national and campus
nature, it is highly probable that
at the termination of the next quin- tennium I shall be found fulfilling'
the responsibilities and obligations
of the position of defender of our
native land."

r

irn

Prewitt Given

Tuskegee Prize

..."

LOtlfl LetS Util

week's "Carnal" goes to
.Mu.tie. a bronze babe picked up
tj
tlie Karnal staff ln a beer
joint on a recent archaelogical
to Gorehead. As any
tmil tun plainly see, her is a

at

a loss to explain how
it happened that Moitle is bendov-- r
ing
like as how she is getting
it ady to jump. This is strange bemuse when we hrung her home
We is

her was standing up straight.
It could be that bottle beer
that .sets besnle her that makes
r
impatient, or. on the other
hand it may be that her is home-:ic- k
for Gorehead and is petting
ready 'o lake off for home.
Anvway. come in and have a
of looks. It will do you

Whoopee! Don't I fill this S()ace
nicely? That's my Job. because I
am a filler.

h--

good.

ail

'

IL

-

Hon. Scotch Court

I,
Dearest Editor:
We, the little darlings of Jewell
hH wi-'- to bring this terrible stink
in your aiienuon.
.

h

In our

tnere are three no"
Now, the attendant
te a mc
of 8
and In our belief there
some Justice done to the
Jewe" haU because the
boys stand in too damned
this attendant and we
a chance to play hop- -

nal1

scotch courts!
for these

")&$,

'

:

Reports from the infirmary list
twelve students racked up from
Juries received when they were rude- ly walked upon by grass yester- day in front ef the Administration
bunding.
The grass, which has been tak- ,ng a bad
ln tnat area for
a 1on8 while- suddenly revolted and
walked upon the bodies of ten wo- men and two men who were resting

y..J-

Official AAA Service

TAYLOR TIRE COMPANY
(Incorporated)
One-Sto-

fHONE 2ttft

Co Where There's
Food To Enjoy

-

"'h
Interviewed

8 tree-

I

CO-F.-

1

1 11

'"'"'

'"'v"

The Best In

Sandwiches

I

... ...

I

4

Moille's Coitle
Shoppe

"Take Home

A

Satk-full-

"

2t5 E. MAIN
518 W. MAIN

113

N. LIME

V

.

1

I ..

"UlCIUfn

Striking with blitzkrieg rapidity
last nght, the Bearded Trustees re
vealed a Pershing Rifles organi- 1
ration plan in which the
old Shot Society was disbanded and
a new Knights of Firearms Director ' j
appointed.
Buckshot P. McGuffey. son of f:j
President. McGuffey. was named 1
head of the Riflemen's "honorary"
last night promised "Due to lack
of student support, from now on
the Pershing Rifles will be compul
sor? 'or every military student."
"We will have no more beer par- -

0

8oft Elk
in tsn a
white, all
tan. or two
tan Ian.

I?"-

-

swan,

a fiilly

L St f

--

CASUAL
CAMPUS
STYLES
GIRLS'

$199
-

r

Si:

Type
SPORT SHOtS
MtM-rasi-

yM?

Sizes

1

V

i lu t.

I

Durable white elic.
made exactly like InLone,
dian mocca-Mna- .
cushiony
wearing
riiooer aolea. Truly
cuoilortable.
aioart,
and antaiintfly luw
prired.

7

7

Alex- -

BRIARG AILS

I

$98

Your
Graduation
Picture
Today

As handsome m sport
oxford as vou ve seen
A

ilk

broKU.

com-

bining the 3rs4v winy
tip with bold perforations to achieve distinctive rugged masculinity m desired by the
well dressed man Antique tan and Nu Bttt lt
While

p.

...

IAll j;
...:.m1fc...,....ll

V

t&ua?

......

-;

You feel refreshed after

bottle of

Coca-Col- a.

an

MENS' SLACK SMP ONS

i

$198

ice-co- ld

It's the

com-

1

plete answer to thirst and
has the taste that always charms. So when you pause
throughout the day, make it fiw

it vied for smart lounging
Oood looking, comfortae
ble, tan elk Leather

patnm that r.freirwt with

sole.

Coca-Co-

prices in graduation Pictures

Lafayette Studio

SI.IP-ON- H

risd

SWOOSP

herances you will never forget.
us help you rememlier your gradual ion by making your picture today.

21 W

A

a

,1-

1A,"ander k
goose,

Phone

On of ih arsson s imartemt wvIm
new walled tor.
ComfortabW
vamp aitd low hvj Unlud far

MENS' SPECTATOR

Mill and Main

Ww

e

m

I.t

Delicious
5c II A.MBl'KGEKS 5c

I

Rosr and ( ullt-n-

Exrrllrrtt Curb Srrviee

Are Reorganized

,

WHITE TAVERNS

Inirir Inane Iniiim

.

last night,

ander--

--

ROSE ST. CONFECTIONERY

K K1FLE TEAM

Tus-keg- ee

s

Soft Drinks- - Short orders

...pause and

mine It"
He is scheduled to leave for
as soon as he can raise che
required railroad fare. "Yrui nit ain't
gonna ketch me ridin' in no Jim
crow cyah effun ah can help It"
he drooled at the Karnal reporter

c,m

--

At

When it s "Intermission

man's brigade, was given the award
for a paper which he recently wrote
on "The Sanctity of Southern Womanhood and How I Helped Under-

Swoose.

p
CampMe
Service
24 HOUR SE&VUB
Vine at Southeastern Ave.

jg

by a Karnal reporter.
"uld be
the gnss
it wag geUjng ,.prpUy
68 of
dlimn tired by
rig walked on
fraternity
all these years and thought it
weu with
walking-ove- r
should do some
on
never get
its own behalf.
scotch on 6ur own courts.
The department of buildings and
Now this situation is graver than 8rount'8 s planning to nail signs
you think, although to say you of "Keep Off" on the heads of all
doesn't work
think is to flatter you. Incidentally, students, and if this ........ ..til
m la,.
phLlfun
I think the Kernel stinks. But. to - .Ti"
,
get back to our
courts. ( j0n to the sign.
From the hours of 12 midnight
until 4 a. m. these courts are sup- posed to be reserved for us. But In
recent weeks the fraternity boys,
aided by this slouch of a keeper
hate been climbing In Miss Jeeter
LtsMT' window.
CHARMING
Despite her stern resistance they
QUEEN OF THEM ALL
have Constantly swarmed onto our
This Inn 111 if iiied was also
COUTtS. It' twit finlv that Ch
rlo
on our time, but we cant get any
'miiy eieciea senior nail
sleep either. The interference Is ?et- - lufr"' She ' also beauty ineen.
ting too personal.
ag fueen. Mountain l.awrel
p,Pa'w do your best to clean up V'een' ,rt'
Prom
tnte terrible stink.
queen and lots of other ijueens.
She was elected b "the clique."
Sincerely,
Lota Tripe
.

Pictures are something more than
a likeness of you. They are reniem- -

NEXT WEEK'S COMMITTEE
Golly Brews, Chairman
Putt IKiilie. Key Club
Rudolph Hens A TO
One of the KA Girl

,h,.

activities declared while picking
Riflemen or no PershuiK
shot from his posterior region."
Riflemen, well all be in the army
Stjiiats Wright, former captain, soon enough anyhow."

Grass Retort

llfllfl

LtUlt'1

ari

This

it'.i

well-know- n

"

Question

Moitle

Ml',

'hai the hell, we'le going to the arms
.
the morning, when ihe hand was getiin reads
so ht ie is wheie we let otf a lot of steam.
10 depart for
osiou. ihr notice came from
four yeais ago the Ketiiuiky hand was
I'niversitv giwuis 10 the etfet t thai the Ken-tu- t
10 he sent n, Rosioii.
ky bantl was 1101 to dare leave this fair 1 it v
'h wasn't it sent?
Well. there is a lot of smelly bureaucracy in
loi Bttsion. Ihe reasons given were thai Boston
this University seiup. and so many different
was not ihe plate where ihe Kentuikv bantl
hat! to sign papers permitting the band
should go.
to leave this fair cily. that it was absolutely
Ihe kfiituikv bandsmen did riot like the
for the bantl to go to Fiosiou.
idea ol being denied iermission logo 10 Pxrsiou.
el tJie bantl was snpHised to go to Boston.
For', the vear lelore. ifiere was a thive started
We tlon't see why suth laxity in the administra10 send the kemuikv bantl 10 Boston. Suite the
tion is allowed to exist. After all. if the band I'niversity bantl was looking forward to going
was stipMscd to go to Boston, then whv didn't
10 Boston it should have gone to Boston.
it go 10 Boston?
Boston is a nite plate. We were there once.
Well, here is the leal inside on whv the lantl
It is certainly a nite plate, anil the bantl would
didn't go iti Boston when it was supxsed to go have enjoved it. too. vou can Ik- - sure. Boston is in
. . . four years ago. It was lietatise this
tamptis was Massat hitseits, ami Massat husetts is in .New
so full of stuffed shirts tjiat the poor bantl just
F.nglantl. Xew Fngl.tnd is a. nice plate. V i
couldn't get a start. We know some people in Massat husetts. And Boston is in Massat hiiseits,
thai bantl anil we rememU r how ihey were
anil it's a nite plate. Ihe Kentuikv bind wtu