xt7cz892c048 https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7cz892c048/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 1993-01-20 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers English Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, January 20, 1993 text The Kentucky Kernel, January 20, 1993 1993 1993-01-20 2020 true xt7cz892c048 section xt7cz892c048

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Kentucky Kernel

WXCV .N.°:_.$9.-..j ......... V .....

._ Established 1894

University of Kentucky. Lexington, Kentucky

Independent since 1971

Wednesday. January 20. 1993 s:

UK could save $29.3 million in I

through restructuring plan

By Brian Bennett
Senior Staff Writer

After months of internal study
and recommendations from various
committees. UK President Charles
Wethington yesterday released his
restructuring report. which outlined
changes that could save UK more
than $29.3 million.

Wethington’s plan. released dur-
ing yesterday‘s Board of Trustees
meeting, listed more than 85 recom-
mendations for change in the Uni-
versity, including the decision to
hire an outside consultant to review
UK’s administrative structure.

Other recommendations include
merging college and administrative

programs. eliminating positions. as-
sessing admissions policies and es-
tablishing an advising center.

The total money saved from the
plan would account for the $26.7
million in budget reductions that
UK has received the last two years.

The remaining money would be
eamlarked for another possible bud-
get reduction. State ofﬁcials told
university presidents in September
to prepare for a possible 2 percent
cut in appropriations.

But the cut hasn't come. and if it
doesn’t the money would be used to
enhance academic programs. Weth-
ington said.

“It (the money) truly is there

See REPORT, Back Page

Pro... osasl ,. .. ......

. Hire consultant to review
edninistrative structure. ’
0 Merge de nrlrnents of housing and
maidentizlolite. r . ti
- e s o communlca ons
and IIiga 3:000.

- Merge partrnent of
telecommunications into journalism

sc .
0 Merge materials sciences and
chemical engineering. . .

0 Merge the de rtrnents of engineering
mechanics an rnechanleal engneenng.
- Elimination of a dozen degrees in
colleges of arts & sciences and
education.

. Require teaching assistants to have
master's degree and 18 hours of
graduate work in the discipline they are
teachin .

. Establish undergraduate and transfer
student advising center.

rvnort JOHNSTON Kernel Stall

Foon named director of cancer center

By Melissa Rosenthal
Staff Writer

California doctor and researcher
Kenneth A. Foon was named direc-
tor of the Lucille Parker Markey
Cancer Center after being approved
by the Board of Trustees yesterday.

Foon was associate director for
clinical research at the lda M. and
Cecil H. Green Cancer Center at
Scripps Clinic and Research Foun-
dation in La Joila, Ca. before com-
ing to UK.

“One of the reasons that I decid-

cd to come to the Markey Cancer
Center was because of the commu-
nity support of both the center and
the University.“ Foon said at a
press conference before the meeting
yesterday.

Foon. who received his medical
degree from Wayne State Universi-
ty in 1972. has been published in
medical journals and serves on ﬁve
medical boards. He currently is
principle investigator on several
projects funded by the National ln-
stitutes of Health.

He specializes in gene therapy.

“I hope to make University of
Kentucky Markey Cancer Center a
world-class player in the develop-
ment of gene therapy.“

Foon said he plans to bring many
new specialists to the cancer center
to build up the program.

“I hope to build up the program
by adding more manpower to what
we already have," Foon said. “I am
conﬁdent that after people are
shown the outstanding facilities,
they will want to remain here.“

Emery Wilson. College of Medi-

Speaker to propose spending limits

By Mark R. Chellgren
Associated Press

lRANKF(')RT, Ky. — House
Speaker Joe Clarke said yesterday
he will propose a spending limit on
legislative elections when the Gen-
eral Assemblyconvenes to take up
ethics bills.

Clarke acknowledged that courts
have said absolute limits on cam-
paign spending are unconstitution-
al. but he said the time may be right
to raise the issue again. Additional-
ly. Clarke said the public pressure
of limits may be enough to per-
suade some candidates to curb
spending and observe the cap even
if it is thrown out by the courts.

“Money is the problem. not
where it came from exactly."
Clarke said.

Clarke. a Danville Democrat.
said the sentiment for eliminating

political action committees as a
way to eliminate the influence of
money in the legislature is ﬁlls-
placed.

With PAC money. it is easy to
point to the special interest behind
the bucks. “I’ve always had the
feeling that the other contributions
are a lot more insidious." Clarke
said. “it tends to conceal the real
motive.“

Opposition to spending limits
could come from challengers to in-
cumbents. Clarke said.

But a leading Republican law-
maker said the minority party could
look favorably on spending limits
in legislative races.

House Minority Whip Danny
Ford of Mount Vernon said GOP
candidates almost always ﬁnd
themselves at a l'mancial disadvan~
tage when running against a Demo-
crat.

Health administrator Cox
says UK career rewarding

By Tammy Gay
Senior Staff Writer

About 100 books are stacked and
ready for June 18. the day student
health administrator Jean Cox will
retire and ﬁnally have time to read.

As 28 years of service at UK
draws to a close. Cox said she has
only one complaint “if I have ever
felt that there was a negative in be-
ing a career woman. it's been that I
never have time to read."

Her goal for retirement is to read
her magazines the week that they
arrive. instead of hurrying through
neglected periodicals during rare
moments of free time.

The 64-year-old Cox said she has
enjoyed all of her career. which has
become a central part of her life.
“I've not resented a minute i have
put in here.

Cox. who received degrees in
English and philosophy from Carle—
ton College in Minnesota. began as
a supervisor in the Medical Records
Department in l965. though she
had absoluer no expa'lenee in that
ﬁeld.

By 1970 she hd moved up to he
current position as athnhisnaerr.

“I‘ve always said I have the most
intaestlng job on mpns — We
got a Ulivaslty seuhlg. he got

health care and We got students.
That makes for a very interesting
position." Cox said.

Cox handles the non-clinical ac-
tivities of Student Health Service.
such as ﬁnances and personnel
management. and she is the cm-
budsman for UK Health Plans.
functioning as the patient represen-
tative for faculty and staff involved
in the program.

She has also been involved with
advising students and parents about
Student Health Service and in edu-
cating students about their health.
For eight years. she was chairwom-
an of the Employee Beneﬁts Com-
mittee. This committee examines
and improves all existing beneﬁts
and consider: new ones.

Donald Clapp. vice president for
administration. said Cox will be
missed tremendously.

“Jean has the right combination
of talents and expaience to serve
the University effectively. in health
care and the Univasity Employee
Beneﬁts Committee." he said.

Cox said she does not consider
retiring ll end. but a beginning. “i
don't comider this dropping out of
mything. i really consider this
moving into phase three.”

She reeled her favorie qmte as
a team to retire: “No one on his

“If we’re all playing on the same
ﬁeld. I think the Republicans will
fare well," said Ford.

But another Republican disa~
greed.

Rep. Don Farley of Ashland
spent nearly $30,000 to win re-
election against former Democratic
Rep. Clarence Jackson in 1992. Far-
ley said spending more than his op-
ponent was the only way he could
overcome the Democratic registra-
tion advantage.

“If you do that. you're going to
make it a oneparty situation in cer-
tain areas." Farley said.

There may be other opposition.

Senate President John “Eek"
Rose, D-Winchester. said he would
have to be convinced there is a
chance the courts would approve
before the General Assembly

See SPENDlNG. Back Page

cinc dean, said Foon is the ideal
candidate for the job because “he
can help take cancer to areas we
have never been before."

Wilson also added that Foon has
the personal skills to make sure that
the cancer center continues to

prosper.

While Foon serves as director of
the cancer center. he will work as
professor of medicine and chief of
the division of hematology and on-
cology in the College of Medicine.

VICTORIA IOYEﬂlKamol Stall

‘ l"

PETER MOORE/Kernel Stait
TOP: Gene Williams. vice
president for information Sys-
tems, was among those who
nodded off during yesterday's
Board of Trustees meeting.
LEFT: Dr. Kenneth A. Foon
was named director of the Lu-
cille Parker Markey Cancer
Center yesterday by the trus-
tees.

By Brian Bennett
Senior Staff Writer

The student member of the state
Council on Higher Education and
UK's Student Govemment Asso-
ciation president have said they
are prepared to ﬁght against a pro-
posal to raise next year's tuition
for state universities.

University presidents endorsed
a plan in November that would al-
low the council to set tuition annu-
ally and raise tuition rates —- as
much as $180 at UK — already
set for next year. The presidents‘
request came after two years of se-
vere reductions in state appropria-
tions for universities.

The council in turn decided to
hold three public hearings on the
issue. The last is set for tonight at
7 in the University of Louisville's

November opposing tuition increase

Hassold Auditorium.

Student CHE member Clay Ed-
wards. a UK graduate. said he
will keep an open mind through-
out the hearings. However. after
last week‘s hearing. be said he is
leaning toward voting against the
tuition policy change and in-
crease.

“l'm very concerned that we‘re
switching to an annual review
strictly because of budget cuts.
And i think that‘s a ﬁscally irre-
sponsible policy." said l-‘dwards.
currently a U of L law student.

“l‘m real concerned that if we
increase tuition annually. it‘s
going to be almost impossible for
student ﬁnancial aid to keep pace.
It's really going to hurt some
folks."

Meanwhile. SGA President
Pete November said yesterday he
will speak against the increase at

tonight‘s hearing. November had
declined to take a stand on the is—
sue last week.

November said one of the influ-
encing factors in his decision was
his attendance at last Thursday‘s
hearing at EKU when nearly a
dozen students unanimously
spoke out against an increase.

“I listened last week to some of
the comments. and I think a lot of
the students are concerned that
the increase is brought about by
budget cuts.“ November said.
“And that scares me because eve-
ry time the General Assembly dc,
cides to cut our budgets. does that
mean we‘re going to raise tuition
to make up the difference? It just
scares me that their setting a bad
precedent.

See TUITION, Back Page

MEG Wind 3M

After 28 years at UK. Jean Cox ls retiring later this year from
her post with the Student Health Service.

deathbed ever said he wished he'd
spent more time at the ofﬁce."

"I'here is so much else to do with
onc‘s life and i am eager to get on
with it." Cox said.

Cox and her husband Lyn will
celebrate her retirement with a
week-long vacation at a golf resort
in North Carolina

Later this year. the couple will
travel to Enghnd for ﬁve weeks
and will return in 1994 to live for
six months.

The couple also wants to return
to UK and its classes as Donovrm

Scholars. a pmglam designed for
people 65 and over who wish to
take classes without paying tuition.

Cox said her 28-year career with
the University has not interfaed
with her family life. and daughter
Margaret Hanrahan agreed.

“She was good at separating
work from home." said Hm.
one of three daughters. Hanrahan
said Cox‘s career and working with
college students made her more un-
derstanding of whta her daughters

See COX. Back Page

Iraq says it will stop shooting at
planes in “no-fly" zone it allied
forces will end bombing runs.
Story. Page 2.

DIVERSIONS:

Denis Leary blasts disco and
non-smokers on No Cure for
Cancer Revuew. Page 3.

SPORTS:

Lady Kats down nval Western
Kentucky on a last-second buzz-
er beater by Stacey Reed. Story.
Page 4.

Lady KaisHilltoppers rival ranks
among the best in basketball.
Column, Page 5

VIEWPOINT:

Once he lS sworn in as preSldent
at noon today. Bill Clinton should
stop changing his mind and stall
keeping hts campaign promises.
Editorial, Page 6,

Bill Clinton provides promisobr
this generation of America‘".
Column. Page 6.

WEATHER: ‘

Cloudy today with a 30 .
chance of rain in the «$23
high between 40 and 45. M”
percent chance of rain \
low about 40 A 60

chance oi rain tomorrowzhbh
about 45. ‘ ‘

INDEX:

Washington
buzzing over
inauguration

. /
L hanging of l‘nzi‘t" <1:
\ \

,‘\~

By Terence Hunt
Associated Press

WASHINGTON — On the brink
of his presidency. Bill Clinton
pledged yesterday to inject a spirit
of innovation in govemment and
said. “i desperately want to make a
difference." A mood of excitement
and high expectatiom ﬁlled the cap-
ital.

Half his Cabinet received prelim-
inary approval. and Clinton ﬁlled
out his State Department team to
confront a rash of global crises.

Asking the payers and support of
friends and foes alike. Clinton said.
“l face daunting challenges too
great for any person‘s mind to corn-
[lehend in wisdom to judge or
strength to meet aims."

He visited the grave sites of John

See IMMIGRATION. Page 2

Inauguration: I.

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2 - Kentucky Kernel, Wednesday, January 20, 1993

Clinton advised to honor promises from campaign

Associated Press

WASHINGTON — “Keep your
promises."

Asked to offer one bit of advice

to Bill Clinton the day before he 13::

becomes president, Americans re-
peatedly urged that he be true to his
campaign rhetoric. Also: Keep
smiling, and “wear nicer ties.“

At a McDonald‘s in Wausau.
Wis.. Kathy Smith was having
breakfast with her 5-year-old
daughter. She voted for Clinton and
said she hopes now that he will "be

i Inauguration:

L‘I'iinreznc ’

a man of his word. That's why peo-
ple voted for him. for the things he
was promising."

"Please, don't become a typical
politician," added Mattie Mixen of
lawrenceville, Ga.

In other cases. the advice of peo-
ple questioned by lhe Associated

.—-~.me,-. _ . . .. ﬂ... .5 ...-.A..

Press was a bit more personal.

“Wear nicer ties," urged Leila
Lugo, a clerk in a men's clothing
store in Dallas. “Not something
wild, but better than what he’s been
wearing.“

"Keep that natural smile," said
Melba Mauldin, a florist in Arti-
more, Okla. “Don‘t let the presi-
dency get to him and make him old
and sour."

“Stop talking about jogging and
McDonald's and gala hoopla and
start talking about the issues," said
Kelly Treadway, a 25-year-old re-

.ﬂ—Mwenah, V, . W...

tail manager in Pierre, SD. Tread-
way said she hopes Clinton will
seek outgoing President Bush's ad-
vice.

“Take his daughter out of that
private school," urged Andre Wil-
liams, a 17-year-old from Detroit.

“He needs to listen to Hillary,"
said Deun Shonowo, a clothing de-
signer in Clinton's home t0wn of
Little Rock. A very different view
of the next ﬁrst lady came from
JoAnn Holbert of Harrisburg, Pa:
“Speak more and shut Ilillary tip."

Much of what Americans wanted

"'7‘"~"""‘““"""’""". m." n, ,

to say to their new president was
predictable. I-‘anners want better
prices for their crops; the poor want
more attention and so do the opera-
tors of small businesses. Most peo-
ple want their taxes to go down
rather than up.

Pay more attention “right here at
home," said Arnold Jones, 33, a su-
pervisor at City Union Mission in
Kansas City, Mo. But many people
also echoed Dwaine Hibbs of Boise,
Idaho, who urged Clinton. “Don‘t
let that guy (Saddam Hussein) push
us around."

Iraq proposes cease fire if allies stop bombing runs

By Victoria Graham
Associated Press

BAGHDAD, Iraq —— Iraq sought
to cool its confrontation with the
West by promising yesterday to
stop ﬁring at allied aircraft in “no
ﬁy" zones if bombing attacks halt.
It also appealed to President-elect
Clinton for talks.

Under attack for a third straight
day, Saddam Hussein's government
also got a promise of help from the
Vatican in putting its case before
the United Nations.

Iraq said it wanted to give Clinton
a calmer atmosphere after his inau-
guration today to study the confron-
tation, which Iraq has blamed on
what it calls President Bush‘s per-
sonal animosity for Saddam.

At the United Nations, Iraqi Am-
bassador Nizar Hamdoun said
Baghdad also would inform the
UN. that its weapons inspectors
will be allowed to ﬂy into Iraq from
Bahrain. Iraq's blocking of the
flights was one factor that prompted

the recent allied air attacks.

Earlier in the day, an “open let-
ter" to Clinton from Saddam's
spokesman urged the incoming
president to stop allied bombing
raids and to adopt a more concilia-
tory approach to Iraq.

Clinton has supported Bush‘s
handling of the dispute.

Pentagon spokesman Pete Wil-
liams welcomed the cease-ﬁre offer,
but said Iraq had to remove weap-
ons that threaten American, British
and French planes over the air ex-
clusion zones in northern and south-
ern Iraq. The Iraqis also must stop
hindering UN. weapon inspections
under the Gulf War cease-ﬁre, he
said.

liven before Iraq‘s announce-
ment, the UN. Security Council
had scheduled a private meeting for
late in the day to discuss the situa-
tion. The U.S.-led air raids have
drawn criticism from Arab states
and some Westem nations, such as
Russia and the Netherlands.

Saddam‘s government said in a

television broadcast that its unilater-
al cease-ﬁre would take effect at 8
am. Wednesday (Tuesday midnight
EST). It called the step “a gesture of
good will toward the new American
president, Bill Clinton, and through
him toward the American people."

The ofﬁcial Iraqi News Agency
said the cease-ﬁre “will continue
unless the other side continues to
shoot.“

U.S. warplanes attacked missile
and radar positions in nonhem Iraq
earlier yesterday after Iraqis ﬁred at
American planes and took other
hostile steps, the Pentagon said. Iraq
said three people were killed and
three wounded, raising the death
toll to 46 since the air raids began
last Wednesday.

Iraq's cease-ﬁre offer was made
as the United States and Kuwait
strengthened their positions in the
Persian Gulf region.

American ofﬁcials said the air
craft carrier USS John F. Kennedy
was in the eastern Mediterranean
moving into striking range of Iraq

to bolster U.S. warnings that further
Iraqi deﬁance could bring more at-
tacks.

The carrier USS Kitty Hawk al-
ready was in the gulf.

UN. Secretary-General Boutros
Boutros-Ghali, meanwhile, asked
the Security Council to send 3,650
armed peacekeepers to reinforce
353 observers monitoring the demil-
itarized zone along the Iraq-Kuwait
border. The move was a response to
recent Iraqi incursions to carry off
arms abandoned in the Gulf War.

In Kuwait, ofﬁcials said four U.S.
Patriot missile batteries arrived yes-
terday to guard against possible Ira-
qi attacks.

The Patriot was used to defend
against Iraqi Scud missiles during
the Gulf war.

There are about 2,000 US. sol-
diers in Kuwait, which has an army
of about 11,700.

Iraq invaded Kuwait in August
1990: Saddam‘s army was driven
from the emirate seven months later
by a U.S.-led coalition. Saddam has

continued to assert that Kuwait is
part of Iraq but has not threatened
another invasion.

Iraqi Information Minister Harned
Youssef Hurnadi said yesterday that
the Kuwaitis were “schizophobic”
and that Kuwait should bring in “an
army of psychiatrists" rather than
soldiers.

The “open letter“ to Clinton was
published in the govemment-run
newspaper Al-Thawra and written
by Saddam‘s chief spokesman, Ab-
dul-Jabbar Mohsen.

“Iraq is not an enemy of America
and does not want to be," Mohsen
wrote.

Mohsen also reiterated criticism
of Bush, but he said Iraq was will-
ing to talk to the West arid urged
Clinton to reject the policy of
bombing.

"You succeeded in the elections
under the slogan of change. This
means that when the American peo-
ple chose you, they chose change
and rejected current policies," Moh-
sen wrote.

Senator Ford to make sure Clinton not late for inauguration

Associated Press

LOUISVILLE. Ky. —— He is run-
ning what is expected to be the
largest presidential inauguration in
US. history. but US. Sen. Wendell
Ford's biggest problem is making
sure that Bill Clinton is sworn in on
time.

“Everybody's worried about
Clinton Standard Time. That‘s
late," Ford said, noting the presi-
dent-elect‘s proclivity for wading
into any crowd he sees.

Ford said that he wants Clinton
“to have every minute of his four-
year term‘ so the committee‘s

prime goal is to get the oath said at
high noon today, when President
Bush‘s term ends.

This is the Owensboro Demo-
crat‘s second tour of duty as chair-
man of the Joint Congressional
Committee on Inaugural Ceremo-
nres.

Ford has no ofﬁcial role with
Clinton‘s committee, but he and
aides John Chambers and Mike
Ruehling must work closely with it
on such things as getting more seats
for employees of Clinton and Vice
President-elect Al Gore.

The crowd is expected to be at
least a quarter of a million, 100,000

more than last time, because Ford
and his committee have responded
to greater interest by expanding the
viewing area past the reﬂecting
pool in front of the Capitol.

The extra crowd will be served
by large video screens and an ex-
tended sound system. But Ford
halted the march of technology
Monday. when he told Dan Rather
and a CBS News vice president that
correspondent Bob Schieffer
couldn't wear a head-mounted, ci-
gar-sized camera on the ofﬁcial
platform tomorrow.

The camera‘s antenna would
make Schieffer “look like an alien

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in the middle of the crowd," Ford
said later.

Ford‘s dealings with the Clinton
staff have produced some dividends
for Kentucky. For example, the
state has two bands in the inaugural
parade, a distinction shared only by
Arkansas and Tennessee, Clinton
and Gore‘s home states.

The bands are from Marshall
County High School in western
Kentucky and the Northeastern
Kentucky Combined High School
Band, made up of three Greenup
County schools.

The choir from Ballard High
School in Jefferson County will

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sing before and after the swearing-
in ceremony.

Ford can be a highly partisan
Democrat. but as chairman of a bi-
partisan committee conducting a
non-partisan event, he has played
down the signiﬁcance of a Demo-
crat‘s assuming the presidency after
the longest Republican mle since
the Great Depression.

But the change has its burdens.
Kentucky has more than twice as
many Democrats as Republicans.
and Ford knows many of them.

His aides said he has gotten near-
ly 4,000 ticket requests, and more
were still coming in Monday.

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abrv’s

Inauguration

Continued from Page 1

and Robert Kennedy, his early
heroes and political models,
and knelt in prayer.

At noon today, before an au-
dience of hundreds of thou-
sands of people, Clinton will
recite a 35-word oath and be-
come America's 42nd presi-
dent. Fifteen minutes earlier,
Vice President-elect Al Gore
will be sworn in. Both men
will begin the day worshipping
at the Metropolitan African
Methodist Episcopal Church, a
prominent black church.

Clinton's last day as a pri-
vate citizen was ﬁlled with cel-
ebration and reﬂection, last-
minute preparations and ﬁnal
rehearsals. He spent several
hours polishing his inaugural
address.

Spokesman George Stephan-
opoulos said the speech would
run about 20 minutes and
sketch broad themes rather
than speciﬁc policies.

After criticism of the slow
pace of Clinton‘s appoint-
ments, Stephanopoulos said
the incoming president had
110 sub-Cabinet nominees
ready to go. He also said Clin-
ton would sign executive or-
ders.

Aides said Clinton would
create a national economic
council and formalize previ-
ously announced standards of
ethical conduct. Other orders
are expected Friday — the
20th anniversary of the Su-
preme Court‘s landmark abor-
tion decision — dealing with
abortion-related restrictions.

Thousands of people paid
between $100 and 51,000 for
tickets to a presidential gala
featuring such stars as Elton
John, Barbara Streisand. Are-
tha Franklin, Chuck Berry,
Judy Collins and the Alvin Ai—
ley Dance Troupe. The rock
group Fleetwood Mac reunited
for the performance.

Sidewalk vendors did a
brisk business selling souvenir
buttons. shirts, plates and cups.
Inaugural stores had waiting
lines of customers.

Clinton began his day by
paying solemn tribute at the
graves of the two slain Kenne-
dys.

He placed a white rose at
each burial site and bowed his
head in silent prayer. About 20
members of the Kennedy clan
joined him.

President Bush, meanwhile,
held a farewell lunch with
Vice President Dan Quayle
and said goodbyes to his aides.
Bush invited Rev. Billy Gra-
ham, who will deliver the in-
vocation and benediction at
Clinton‘s inauguration, for
dinner and a night at the White
House.

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A comedy

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Kentucky Kernel, Wednesday, January 20, 1993 - 3

Denis Leary
blasts disco,
non-smokers

DIVERSIONS

Herzog’s ‘Nosferatu’ still the king
of Bram Stoker-inspired movies

“Nosferatu" = Now, if you're one to appreciate
Starring Klaus Kinski E— scenery in a ﬁlm, this will be a ﬁlm
Twentieth Century Fox g for you. The count‘s crib is set on
E the other side of the Carpathian

By Chip Sebastian E mountains. Harker originally had to
Staff Critic 1. . . . . . . go to meet the count for a land

“Nosferatu" is German meaning
“undead." This belief in beings that

Isabelle Adjani. who starred with
Ryan O'Neil in “The Driver," in

proposition. Along the way, the au-
dience gets a glimpse of the natural
beauty of the place. It‘s too cool.

Denis Leary were V“undead“ and walked the 1978. plays Mina Harker. She is Themusic in this ﬁlm is so chill-
No Cure For Cancer mght in German folklore is pretty probably best known for her French ing that you feel like you’ve been
A&M Records neat. but it is not why this ﬁlm is ﬁlms buried alive. The opening scenes
awesome. It isn't because the ﬁrst . . show long-dead corpses, rolled with

By John Abbott “Nosferatu" mm. in 1922. starring ,aggwofeggggg';,ggrsfhgojgggg time and age. Underneath lie deep,
Staff Critic Max Schreck. spawned the many the legend of the Nosferatu, “if a guttural bass chants. hummrng

ﬁne. So comic Denis Leary has
built himself quite a reputation on
MTV spewing his overheated com-
edy and Cindy Crawford fantasies.
Bully for him. However, the ques-
tion still remains: Can he pull off a
whole show by himself. or does he
only have “two words" for us be-
cause he can’t think of anything
else to say?

Judging by his new comedy al-
bum, No Cure For Cancer, Leary is
no Yahoo Serious — he's got some
bankable talent. In a whirlwind 45
minutes, Leary militantly defends
his love of smoking and eating red
meat, ﬁlls us in on all the cool
drugs we can try (No. l for Leary?
“NyQuil and Sudafed"), and takes
potshots at disco music, “Shiny
Happy People.“ Jim Henson, and
so many other scattered targets that
No Cure For Cancer is guaranteed
to offend virtually anyone who lis-
tens to it.

Leary jokes freely about the can-
cer that his smoking habit may
cause him. He even looks forward
to throat cancer, because he wants
to get one of those keen little voice
boxes that tracheotomy patients re-
ceive —- they're fun. says he, for
scaring people on the street.

He's completely invulnerable to
those annoying factoids about
smoking that nonsmokers like to
dig up out of newspapers and mag-
azines. You say smoking takes 10
years off your life? So what. coun-
ters Leary. with a sneer that could
slice through solid concrete. Those
are the worst years — the bother-
some “adult diaper. kidney dialy-
sis“ years at the end that we’d all
sooner be rid of anyway.

Leary also muses giddily on an-
other sensitive topic: death (which

MTV's main mouth Denis Leary airs out all his problems,

PHOTO COURTESY OF A“ RECORD.

thoughts and ideas about the world on his new spoken record.

goes hand in hand with smoking. I
guess). Live for the moment, he ad-
vises, since some old lady might
one day nudge her pet poodle off
the ledge of her apartment and send
it racing down toward the ground at
175,000 mph straight into your
head. It sure makes smoking a lot
less troublesome when you consider
the threat of rapidly descending
poodles is all around us, doesn‘t it'.’

Disco music takes a well—
deserved beating in No Cure For
Cancer. According to Leary. the
best thing about the [9805 was the
removal of one Gibb brother —
Andy — from active circulation.
Ilell is disco, where you‘ll ﬁnd Mr.
Gibb “singing ‘Shadow Dancing‘
for eons and cons. and you have to
wear orange plaid bell bottoms and
sit next to the Bay City Rollers."

Though No Cure For Cancer
consists mainly of Leary's abrasive
monologue. he also mixes in four
songs with his jokes, with varying
results. The ﬁrst of the four songs is
a pretty amusing idea. but it's so

similar to the rest of his routine (in-
cluding a hefty spoken-word seg-
ment), that it barely seems like a
song. It seems more like a few guys
accidentally picked up some instru-
ments while Leary was ranting.
“The Downtrodden Song," which
leads off the troika of songs at the
end of the second side, is boring,
but mercifully short.

The next two are terriﬁc. though.
“Traditional Irish Folk Song“ is not
only pretty funny, but it sounds like
a traditional Irish folk song. All too
often, non—musicians dabble in mu-
sic and end up demonstrating why
they're non-musicians, but Leary
doesn‘t disappoint. The last one.
“Voices In My Head" is a fairl