xt7f4q7qrn6v https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7f4q7qrn6v/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 2006-04-04 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, April 04, 2006 text The Kentucky Kernel, April 04, 2006 2006 2006-04-04 2020 true xt7f4q7qrn6v section xt7f4q7qrn6v ON THE WEB

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WILL HE STAY 0R WILL HE GO? Rajon Rondo announces at 1 pm.
today if he's going pro. Check kykernel.com for updates all day long.

 

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Celebrating 35 years of independence

Two days later, South Campus shooter still unknown

UK police searching for leads
By Megan Boehnke

MKENTUCKYKERNEL

When a bullet came through her dorm
room window early Sunday morning, Anna
Campomanes had been asleep for almost an
hour. She woke up to the startling sound of
gunshots and quickly ran down the hall to the

12th floor lobby of Kirwan Tower.
- “I saw a couple of police, but all the sudden
there were 16 cop cars and I realized, this is re
ally serious,” the pre-nursing freshman said.

When she didn’t see anyone get into the ambu-
lance, she returned to her room and tried to go
back to bed, but was having trouble sleeping
when she noticed the blinds were messed up.

“I tried to fix it because I thought I had
done it." she said. That was when she saw the
bullet hole. “I was like ‘Holy crap. is this a bul-
let hole? Oh my gosh.‘ ”

The bullet that entered Campomanes’ room
was one of about 10 that police believe were
fired at around 3:18 am. The police originally
believed that about six shots were fired. but
have since found more shell casings. said Maj.
Joe Monroe.

About 100 people, both students and non-
students. had gathered in the courtyard of the
complex to watch what police believe to have
been a fraternity-related step show when a ver-
bal altercation between two individuals turned
into a physical one. Monroe said.

Roscoe Dalton, who is not a UK student,
was involved in the fight and was treated for
cuts on his face and lip and an injury to the
back of his head, Monroe said. Police do not
know who else was involved in the fight or and
have no leads in the identity of the person who
fired the gun, but they are reviewing “a lot” of

See Shooting on page 5

 

 

PREPARING FOR SPRING
. ‘ ,

~ w...~‘ .-

meusum | sun 2

Tim Thacker, with the UK grounds crew, shovels mulch yesterday on Central Campus. The ground crew was spreading mulch in preparation for spring. although yesterday
certainly wasn't indicative of spring weather - the weather was chilly with a strong wind.

Republican leader
DeLay decides
to call it quits

By Jonathan Weisman and Chris Cillizza
m: wtsamcron POST

WASHINGTON w Rep. Tom DeLay, R-
Texas, a primary architect of the Republi-
can majority who became one of the most
powerful and feared leaders in Washing-
ton. told House allies last night he will
give up his seat rather than face a re-elec-
tion fight that appears increasingly un-
winnable.

The decision came three days after his
former deputy chief of staff, Tony C.
Rudy. pleaded guilty to conspiracy and
corruption charges. telling federal prose-
cutors of a criminal enterprise being run
out of DeLay‘s leadership offices. Rudy‘s
plea agreement did not implicate DeLay
in any illegal activities. but by placing the
influence-buying efforts of disgraced Re-
publican lobbyist Jack Abramoff directly
in DeLay's operation. the former aide may
have made an already difficult re-election
bid all but out of reach.

DeLay, who will turn 59 on Saturday.
did not say precisely when he would step
down, but under Texas law, he must either
die, be convicted of a felony. or move out
of his district to be removed from the No-
vember ballot. DeLay told Time magazine
that he is likely to change his official resi-
dence to Alexandria. Va.. by the end of
May. He said he informed President Bush
of his decision yesterday afternoon.

“This had become a referendum on
me.“ he told Time in an article posted on
the magazine’s Web site. “So it‘s better for
me to step aside and let it be a referendum
on ideas. Republican values and what's
important for this district.”

"I‘m a realist. I've been around
awhile." he added. “I can evaluate politi-
cal situations.” Asked if he had done any-
thing illegal or immoral in public office,
DeLay replied: “No.“

 

 

MMM.thzsm

 

Grounds crew works daily to ma

By Chris Miles
m: KENTUCKY mm

The plate on his desk reads “ ‘Til the Battle
is Won." the motto of the UK athletic depart-
ment.

But for Donnie Mefford. UK‘s sports turf
manager. that battle is always being waged.

In more ways than not. Mefford is the man
behind the magic for most of the major sports
teams at UK.

“I work specifically with the athletic depart-
ment on all of the fields here at UK‘ Mefford
said. “My crew is responsible for the day-today
maintenance and game preparation of six dif-
ferent sports fields."

His territory includes Commonwealth Stadi-
um. Shively Field (baseball). the soccer and soft-
ball complexes and outdoor facilities for tennis
and track and field. His maintenance crew
works year-round to help with the upkeep and
appearance of each of the playing fields. a task
that requires work that never seems finished.

Put simply. at any given point in the year.
there is some team playing on some field at UK.
Mefford is responsible for those fields.

“We don‘t have down time.“ Mefford said.
“Schedules are always expanding.

tiara"ar*’U'Kv*s*atiu¢ fields

“Like right now. we have baseball and soft .

ball. spring soccer and spring training in foot-

ball." he said. “Then school is out and we start 3

summer camps. Then. in the fall. we have foot-
ball. men‘s and women‘s soccer and baseball.

“It never really does stop."

Mefford‘s office is squeezed into a niche be

tween the football practice facility and the base- .

ball field.

It‘s an office that connects to a garage filled
with equipment of all sorts. an office with no
windows whose walls are lined with detailed

calendars and schedules of half a dozen UK .

teams and a tdpof-the-line weather system that

consists of a computer and a TV that is more of— ,

ten than not tuned to the Weather Channel. This
is Mefford‘s command center

From here. Mefford can mobilize his field
crew team and the equipment it needs in order

signs and logos on the fields and keep the grass-
es healthy

At the same time. he is responsible for moni~ .

toring weather patterns in order to figure out
just how much a field may or may not need to be

mowed and wetted down. Similarly. he is the ;

man who calls the shots on whether or not a
See Turf on page S

 

UK's soccer
field is one of
the several that
are maintained
year-round by
the Turf Man-
agement team
headed by
Donnie Mefford.
Mefford and his
staff are
responsible for
daily upkeep of
the fields and
deciding
whether or not
to delay or
postpone a
game because

of weather.
nan use |
sun

 

 

ky Ke rnel

www.kykernel.com

Three file
elections
claims

Unlike last year, no violations
alleged against prez candidates

By Sean Rose
m: remucxv mu

Three elections violations claims are
now under investigation after last week’s
relatively smooth Student Government elec-
tions.

Two claims accuse 86 Senate candi-
dates of hanging posters in unauthorized
spots around campus. The final violation re
port claims that someone campaigned for
presidential candidate Jonah Brown _ who
won the election u too close to the polls.

John Edwards. elections investigator for
SC and outgoing general manager of
WRFL-FM campus radio.
said the claims didn't seem
too serious overall.

“It was a relatively
clean election, if this is all
that‘s coming from it,” Ed-
wards said. “Some of these
are simple mistakes."

Edwards said the viola-
tions wouldn‘t cause any-

t ing near the controversy ..

that game last year aftter Those
spen ing violations y

presidential candidates TUIES are
sparked a dispute that did- °

n't produce a clear winner Important
until five months later. In mom-

‘ when a Fayette Circuit

Court awarded the presi- °
dency to Becky tormq the

Ellingsworth. UK initially integrity

3. appealed the ruling but lat-
, er dropped its request. of the

Brittany Pauly. a mem-

‘ ber of the so Election election.”

Board of Supervisions

that monitors the election. Jonah Brown

filed a claim against an un- 55 New”,

known person campaign-

ing for Brown in the classroom building.
(‘ampaigns are not allowed to be con

ducted with in 2.“) feet of the polls. and Pauly

says she saw the person lobbying for Brown;

at the time. however: she was working at a

' poll and couldn‘t investigate the incident.

“That one‘s going to take some time to
figure out who exactly it was." Edwards
said. He said he has established that the

i person wasn‘t Brown or his running mate.

Mallory Jenkins.
Brown said he had not heard any
specifics of claims but that he would coop-

‘ erate if he needed.

When the going gets turf :

“Those rules are important in monitor-
ing the integrity of the election." Brown

KatieCouric set
to leave NBC's
'Today' show

By Howard Kurtz
mewisumcmn POST

NBC executives expect Katie (‘ouric to
leave the “Tikiay” show and accept an offer
from CBS to become the first woman to an-
chor an evening newscast on her own. with
an announcement of her departure likely as
early as this week. according to well-placed
sources at both networks and others famil-

to cut. trim and replace turf. create and paint de- 7 iar With th“ negotiations.

The tentative plan is for a two-step
process in which (‘ouric first announces her
departure from NBC. which would like to
give her a warm send-off after a decade in
which she helped make “Today" the toprat»
ed morning program. Meredith \‘ieira. co»
host of ABC's “The View" and host of the

" syndicated “Who Wants to Be a Million»

aire." has been offered the job of replacing

. Couric and is seriously considering it. some
‘ of these sources say.

An announcement that (‘ouric will suc-

i ceed Bob Schieffer as anchor of the “CBS
_ Evening News" will come later. in part be-

cause the final contractual details which
will include a regular spot on “60 Minutes"

have not been worked out. the sources
say. They spoke on condition of anonymity
because the contract talks have. not been

i completed.

Couric's pending departure has been the
focus of intense media speculation. both be
cause of her celebrity and the historic na-
ture of the move. Three women ._ Barbara
Walters at ABC. Connie Chung at CBS and
Elizabeth Vargas. who was elevated in Janu-
ary at ABC's “World News Tbnight“ have
coanchored alongside men. But Couric
would be the first woman in broadcast net-
work history to fly solo at 6:30 pm. Couric‘s
spokesman declined to comment Monday. as
did the press offices at NBC and CBS.

Newsroom: 25H!!!

 

    
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
  
   
   
  
   
    
  
    
   
   
   
  
  
  
   
  
 
     
   
    
 
  
 
  

  
 

   
  
   
  
 
  
 
  
 

Pan: 2 | Tuesday, April 4. 2006

 

 

 

 

$upaku 60 to kylrernel.com tor the solution

 

 

* 2

 

 

 

 

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6

 

 

 

 

 

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Herescapes

 

By Linda C, Black

To get the advantage, check the day's rat
mg. 70 IS the easrest day. 0 the most c/ra/
lerrgrng

Aries (March 21-Aprll19)— To-
day IS an 8 —~ You may Know every—
thing someday, at the rate you're go-
ing. For now. be happy if you can llg'
ure out whom you should ask.

Taurus Willi 20-May 20) —— To
day is a 5 —— Be wise in using what
you‘re given. and you’ll be given
more. in other words. don’t waste it.
or make an awful mess

Gemini (May 21-June 21) 7» To
day is an 8 — There‘s somebody in
your life who always leaves you ‘eel
ing better. Go to the extra trouble to
make sure you let that one know how
much you care.

Carioer (June 22-July 22) — To
day is a 5 — It could seem like the
weight of the world has settled onto

your shoulders lt . iasn i, really Thats
just a delusronal illusion Shrug it off.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) —— Today
is a 9 ,_, Somebody's urging you for-
ward. Someone believes you can do
ll. Let go of your rather pessrmlstlc
frame of mind Let yOUrself be con-
vinced. even if you have evidence to
the contrary.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — To,
day is a 5 — More work coming in.
Luckily. it‘s the kind you like unluckily.
the money's not exactly fabulOus. yet

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) _, Today
13 a 9 VOL re vel.’ lucky now Try
scr‘iething you‘ve always wanted to
do Skydivrrig is possrble. but not your
only option Do it new

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) # To-
day rs a 5 ,_. Do you want to dig into
your sayings and get the store-bought
item, or take the extra time to custom
build it by yourself? it's good, either

way,

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) —
Today is a 9 — There’s a difference
of opinion, but logic will prevail Be
more spiritual and persuasive than
confrontational. The truth sells.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) —
Today is a 5 — Gather up the goodies
as fast as you can. This moment
won't last forever. Check your pockets
for holes. or you could lose it as fast
as you earn it.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) —
Today IS a 9 — You provrde stability to
a loved one who really needs some.
This is not difficult; it is the most nat-
ural thing in the world.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) —
Today is a 5 — You don't always have
to buy new. You can recycle. Fix up
something you've got stored away,
and put it back into service.

© 2006 Tribune Media Services

 

 

 

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vouLdailvdose of entertainment pop culture and fun;

 

 
    

 
 
    

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we DESI-l
When cell
phone rage

turns deadly

By Henry Allen
THE vusnmcion Post

WASHINGTON — To paraphrase the
Marine Corps Rifleman’s creed:

This is my cellphone. There are many
like it. but this one is mine. My cellphone is
my best friend. It is my life. My cellphone
and myself know that what counts is not
the calls we make or the cuteness of our
ring tone. We know that it is the hits that
count. We will hit.

Hit: Rep. Cynthia McKinney. D-Ga.. is
accused of “stabbing" or “jabbing" a Capi-
tol Hill policeman with her cellphone
Wednesday. The office wants to press
charges against her. according to Capitol
police sources.

Hit: Handcuffed supermodel Naomi
Campbell was led away from her Park Av-
enue apartment Thursday and arraigned on
second-degree assault charges after she al-
legedly “smashed open her housekeepers
head with a cellphone," according to the
New York Post. This is the third Naomi
Campbell phone assault reported since 1998.
It is my life.

The Post quoted a “law enforcement
source" saying, “She’s another Russell
Crowe."

Hit: Actor Crowe, you recall. was arrest-
ed last June for assaulting a New York hotel
staffer with a telephone. and booked for
“fourth-degree criminal possession of a
weapon.“ which was the phone.

A weapon! We know that it is the hits
that count

Meanwhile. the “cellphone bandit." Can-
dice Martinez. stuck up four Virginia banks
last year while talking on a cellphone. And
a Sprint ad shows two guys in a locker de-
bating the merits of their cellphones. One
says his Sprint phone is a “crime deter-
rent.“ To prove it he invites the other guy
to try to steal his wallet, then throws it at
him, hard.

 

The point: Are cellphones the new
nunchucks. blackjacks, throwing stars or
brass knuckles? Are we about to see a
movie called “Cellphone Ninja." starring
Steven Seagal?

Is the government doing anything about
this? Answer: nothing in particular. the
same way it did so little about firearms for
so long.

At the Bureau of Justice statistics, a
spokesman says that weapons are catego—
rized as guns, knives or other sharp objects.
blunt objects or “other." A cellphone is
merely “other." But is it lethal?

“Any weapon can be lethal," he says.

That little featherweight handful of
plastic —~ ask Naomi Campbell‘s maid about
“lethal" after her trip to Lenox Hill hospi-
tal. Imagine if Campbell had been armed
with the $5,700 Vertu Ascent Motorsport
cellphone made of “carbon fiber and a
patented composite material called Liquid-
meal, reputed to be twice as hard as stain-
less steel," according to the New York
Times — a cellphone so tough that you can
drive a car over it.

Why does anyone need a cellphone that
tough? Then again, why did Dirty Harry
need the hand cannon known as the .44
magnum? The answer should be obviou's.
Like size. toughness matters.

The cellphone is not just something you
call your boyfriend with, it’s also something
you break his head with. if he really, really
needs it. And he has to know you can do it.
Watch for more magnum cellphones on the
market.

There may come to be a whole new
meaning to the phrase “I’m losing you.
you’re breaking up.”

Cellphone-control lobbyists will fight to
keep people from carrying them concealed.
if at all.

Cellphone advocates will hand out
bumper stickers reading. “I'll give up my
cellphone when they pry my cold. dead fin-
gers from it." As people already say about
their cellphones: My cellphone is my best
friend.

COMING THURSDAY:

A burrito battle for the ages

 

 

 

We will hit
Sponsor either the daily horoscope
W or dolly dish for just $10 0 day! m

call 859-257-2872 {[19 DISH

 

 

    
 

APRIL 20, 2006 at Memorial Coliseum
8:00 PM (Doors open at 7:00 PM)

    

 

  
   
 
 
     

 

  

 

 

STO RYOFTH EYEAR

s . ecial . uests: Adair and Greele Estates

 

  

eneral Admission

17.50

UK/BCTC Students
$1 0.00

Tickets can be purchased at Student Center Ticket Office

or calling 859-257-TICS.

Cash, Check, Visa/Mastercard, and Plus Account accepted.
Valid identification required for students.

3 Pa" 0‘ ll Hl e tenure“

@IIEI‘IB BY06

3 Student Activities Board

 

Paid for by Student Activity Fees. Event is subject to change.

WWW.UKSAB.ORG

student activities board // 203 student center // 859257—8867

   
  

  
 

J

  

 

 

 

  

Tuesday
April 4. 2006
PAGE 3

Sports

Chris Johnson
Sports Editor .
M 251-915 | [mt NW

 

In a fast-paced world,
baseball ultimate relaxant

Gary Sheffield somehow
manages to make waiting for
a pitch the coolest thing he
could possibly be doing, as he
gyrates in the batter’s box like
the old guy in
the corner at
a club waiting
for a hot chick
to dance with
him. How
does he stay
that jacked up
at the end of a
15-pitch at-
bat?

New York
Met Steve
Trachsel is fa-
mous for
making sure
runners on the bases don’t
get head starts by utilizing
multiple pickoff attempts
during each batter:

Former Boston Red Sox
shortstop Nomar Garcia-
parra once adjusted various
work-related clothing acces-
sories on his person over 20
times before a pressurized 3-2
pitch during a game against
the Yankees in June 2000.

Baseball is awesome.

In no other sport does the
action come with such slow-
poke pauses in between.

Actually, in no other
sport is fanatical quickness
so utterly disregarded as it is
in baseball: efforts to speed
up the game usually cut
about three minutes of time
off of where they were the
previous year.

Chris
Johnson

SPORIS EDITOR

And no one cares.

Baseball rocks because of
the long pauses in action.

Basketball. especially
March college basketball, is
fun because it can change at
such a breakneck pace. See
the last seven seconds of the
Texas-West Virginia game.

Wins in auto racing are
purely based on speed.

Football is geared toward
drama, with multiple-point
scoring chances and West
Coast offenses.

But baseball. like Jesus,
is old-school cool.

You get one run per time
crossed the plate. Keep your
touchdowns, football.

You have to advance four
bases until you can score
that run. No drives to the
hole for two.

And the hardest part: you
have to hit a pitched ball,
that isn’t flying in a straight
line in most cases, to even
start the train going. Take
that, NASCAR, with your
left-hand turns.

At the beginning of a
game, there’s as much of a
chance that both teams will
score at all than either team
will exceed five runs. You don’t
have to score 120, like you‘re
playing the Phoenix Suns.

The Cubs went up 5-0 af-
ter the top of the first. and in
the bottom of the inning.
Cub manager Dusty Baker
actually showed emotion
when Carlos Zambrano
struck out Edwin Encarna-

cion for the second out:

Yeah, he tried to hide it.
He had his hands in the pock-
ets of his heavy duffel jacket,
and just leaned over to a 90-
degree angle when Encarna-
cion swung and missed.

But you could tell he
yelled something gleeful.

In the first of 1,500 in-
nings he is going to witness
this season, Baker cheered
that his starter got through
two-thirds of it.

Because he knew that
he’d probably have several
more minutes to find some-
thing else to cheer about.

Today, when fast is best
and taking your time is
passe, baseball allows the
game to develop and strategy
is valued over speed.

In no other sport can you
flip channels between pivotal
moments of the game. At 3-
and-2 to Cub first baseman
Derrek Lee in the top of the
sixth, I was able to check the
five-day forecast and make it
back in time to see ball four.

By the way, the Cubs won
167 in a defenseless. pitching-
impaired contest that took
three hours and 45 minutes of
pure relaxation. I even nod-
ded off a couple of times.

You can have basketball,
auto racing, and football.

I‘ll take a relaxing Open-
ing Day. seven days a week.

E-mail
cjohnson rakykernel. com

 

 

DON’TMISS THIS ONCE A YEAR EVENT,
Aim 61333.1
WGTCCD‘N MEGENDB
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7:05 GAME mu

BLOCK PARTY @ 4:00 PM 7

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‘MUSIC 81 FUN

 

You've seen him on

Have the 805 and 905, Stella, and The State,
now see him LIVE at UK!

Student Activities Board proudly brings you

SPORTS BRIEFS

 

Wednesday y,
April 5,2006

Grand Ballroom,
Student Center

8:00 PM

$7 General Public

my scam | srm

Senior Erin Faulkner lines up her putt during the Wildcat Fall Invitational Oct. 1. In Atlanta yesterday, Faulkn-
er shot an 86 to tie for 68th after the first round of the John Kirk/Lady Panther Invitational.

Women's Golf fourth after
first round

Senior Ali Kicklighter
leads the individual stand-
ings with a Lover-par 73,
while UK is in fourth
place at the John
Kirk/ Lady Panther Invita-
tional in Atlanta.

Battling windy condi-
tions all day, scores were
higher than normal.
Reigning Southeastern
Conference Golfer of th

Week Beth Felts shot a 78,
while fellow sophomore
Elizabeth Dotson fired an
80. Junior Katie Johnson
shot an 84, while senior
Erin Faulkner closed the
UK scoring with an 86
that left her tied for 68th
place.

East Carolina leads the
tournament with a 307,
and Coastal Carolina and
Memphis are tied with
3095. The event will finish
up tomorrow.

Rondo to state his fate
today

UK sophomore point
guard Rajon Rondo has
scheduled a press confer-
ence for 1 pm. today to dis-
cuss his NBA Draft status.

Rondo will either de—
cide to go out for the draft
or cement his status as
UK‘s returning starting
point guard by saying he
will return for his junior
season.

COMPILED FROM UK ATHLETICS REPORTS

Ticket Officé

J‘

 

Student Ceh’t'er“

CTC Students

7‘ all {hit

3‘59. 257‘. Tic

For more info contact: Student Activities Board
203 Student Center // 859-257-8867 // www.uksab.org
Paid for by Student Activity Fees. Event is subject to change.

 

 

WWW.UKY.EDUICAMPIBCALENDAR

t)” 042 0/ 512446411 740' {{((M[{(A, [QGMQT/Lélfl g flaw/crewman

CAMPUS CALENDAR

The Campus Calendar I; produced by the Office of Student Artrvrtres. Leadership & Involvement Registered Student Org; and UK Dents (an IUD/”I‘ll? lnfOI/Vla'ln’l for FREE mime ONE Win PRIOR to the M )NPm mm. 7 .. » ‘r. . . 4

SURE}

4 25778867“ ' »

 

OHelping Hands Meeting, 6:00
PM, Student Volunteer Center,
106 Student Center

OBelieving, Dreaming,
Achieving: The Path to Success,
5:00 PM, Student Center 205
-8INGO!, 7:00 PM, STUDENT
CENTER CATS DEN
0Horticulture Club Meeting,
5:30 PM, Greenhouse classroom
olnternship Information
Sessions, 3:00 PM, 408 Rose St
oAlpha Phi Omega Active
Meeting, 7:30 PM, Student
Center, Room 359

OReformed Univerity
Fellowship (RUF), 7:30 PM, stu-
dent center rm. 357

0College Democrats Weekly
Meeting, 7:30 PM, Rm. 211
Student Center

OFencing Club Practice, 8:00
PM, Buell Armory

OSoc. of Telecom. Scholars
Meeting, 5:00 PM, Maggie
Room, Grehan Building

 

ONew North Open Mic Night,
.1 9:00 PM, New North Hall
’ Plasma Room

. Center 408 Rose Street

 

OJames W. Stuckert Career
Center Drop- In Hours, 3:00
PM, James W. Stuckert Career

IRelay for Life team represen~
tative meeting, 8:00 PM,
Student Center room 203
OMichael Ian Black, 8:00 PM,
Student Center Grand Ballroom
0Comedy Caravan, 8200 PM,
Student Center Cats Den

OMiss UK "Pretty in Pink”, 7:00
PM, Memorial Hall

French Film Series, 7:00 PM, WT
Young Library Auditorium

 

Theater

ORSA General Assembly
Meetings, 5:30 PM, 359

Student Center

ODominoes Tournament, 7:00
PM, Student Center Cats Den
OReformed Univerity
Fellowship (RUF), 7:30 PM, stu-
dent center rm. 357

-Fencing Club Practice, 8:00
PM, Buell Armory

5.

0Mystery Science Theater 3000: j
i The Movie, 10:00 PM, Center

l

0Cool Runnings, 10:00 PM,
Worsham Theater

1, flames W. Stuckert Career

%
l
I
l

Center Drop» In Hours, 3:00

’ PM, James W. Stuckert Career

Center 408 Rose Street
OICF Free Dinner and
Fellowship, 7:00 PM, CSF

. Building (across from

 

Cooperstown Apt.)

I
i
l
I
I

 

: 0The Fifth Element, 10:00 PM,

. Worsham Theater 3
' °Swing Dance, 8:00 PM, Arthur

Murray Dance Studio, 1801
Alexandria Dr., Lexrngton, KY

JJ/

'5unday Attc'noor‘ Swmg
Dance, 3 00 PM, High Bridge
Park Outdoor Covered p8\lll(ln_
High Bridge, KY

OUKUFO, IO 00 PM, Seaton
Field

{J CATS!

 

 

 

 

 APR 4 2006

 
   

 

    
   
   
  
  
  
  
   
  
   
 
  
  
  
   
  
  
    
  
   
  
   
   
  
   
  
  
   
  
    
   
   
   
   
   
   
  
   
    
   
  
   
     
  
    
         
   
   
   
  
  
  
  
  
  
   
  
  
  
  
  
 
  
       
    
   
   
 

 

Andre Massis
Fernando Nieves
Zack Donielson

 

MASSIS Andre, 5&0 Paulo, BR

Was lured away lrom a pretty young

thing and into a heated game ol
‘Foos’ by his good lrrend Carle—more
commonly known as ”The Mayor at
No \Nomens Land ' While Andre
made several a‘tempts to step away
and pack into contention wit the
said lemare Car5s relentless pursuit
lor aei ‘hings that dont involve getting
some was ultimately too much lot
the young Andre. to quickly lourid
nirnsell sweatng it out over the
air l‘EOCKG‘,’ table 'rom
would catch a grasc o’ his young
beauty treadrg out the aoor wrh
another Slr to A ra'e's f}°’.)’“r: oe

'C4" (“or k Cara/l l ,i r'r qr,

yr its "irft' he!

 

NIEVES Fernando, New York, NY
"V game we“- ") rr’: “rrid N at is
‘f’. d r1: ,2 w-J't' :l‘ yy't‘i
"r ' ’. r l“ "i 1‘ is
‘jr.1('.}'.”f‘ my 1': .0 w“ rlerr i , ’t A

W." ,V-~L.‘ -, f. . "‘\,.. ’ » " .
~\;'\}...+7« ”no-i. t...—‘ ,jrrpmj . YU‘Z‘E‘“ ~7k..7_

,4 C 'rifi ‘ ' ' “Q; , l :L'arfir‘;
" t’ " " * Mat; 1;:
M
J: ’1 ‘ r rigl‘ E't St t
.‘1 i, .,,./.::‘y/ 5,. 022,10 7. key: TC’J'CFICACI’T/
i i , 'e JGI.T, four
. r I r" as
.s {Ky/"j r r: m w (if/ff) C , ”mm,
_ ii, ic
‘ "1; tr. Mirryrn; ‘.r\‘,./:»,;.,r fir)"- (1:418
‘ (Lil i " ~ a r ‘ 'erriar'rtc; was. re
‘ tr [e i, 1., ”r “fins
l 1 ' t f} (D ‘
i )0 “l v w " qr r ,9 git /0

Dig. lies? .rr peace lriraonrlo, but

you sleep alcr»:

DANIELSON Zack, Atlanta, GA

't was ea”, ' the ever ":1; yesterday

when/'1" ‘. tame let" me, and while
t rlidn' go A» ‘nr'ii.’ a tight Zack
did have ls a'se unceremoniously

handed ‘c him Upon returning lrom

the bathroom, Zack laund the girl he

 

Hanwey Shieh
Bharat Kumar

Giant» Killph

Eric Smith
Jon Fox

Chad Utsch

was seeing had been surrounded

by a beely mesomorph, Early Man,

tried to use his abundant

muscle to strong‘arm him out ol the

who

picture. Zack did not keep his cool
and accused his young lady lriend
ol llirting with the lirst guy who came
along. His girl, no doubt disgusted
by Zack's over-the‘top bravado,
tied the scene when his lar lrom
attractive tealousy escalated into
Zack throwmg a punch, which was
caught in mid'air by something
that looked like a hand, but lelt
like a QOlb vice. By the time Zack
regained consciousness he was
home alone and unable to console

himsell with his dominant hand.

 

SHIEH Hanwey, Los Angeles, CA

harwey was chatting up a Latin diva

at an apartmer‘t complex barbecue
and hs game was hot enough to
pose a lire hazard, that is until his
triena and cocoon ol horror known
as The Mess entered the picture

and snatched Hanwey up like a

 

ood ol distraction Somewhat
Mess
ntrr“iedicrtely' engaged Hanwey in

liOSl’l l

at a oose cannon, The
tie age old male bonding tradition

ol lighting ones own larts. Sure,

 

theres 'ttle more enticing than the
ignition ol ones own combustible
rurrian gasses, but much like riding
scooter, you don't

look that cool doing it. \Nhen the

an electric

laughter subsided, Honwey was lelt
with YiCrll’ttFlg but a good laugh and
tie taint smell ol old eggs. while hrs
lady was snared by a new suitor,

t‘v‘tar’t talk about blowing it

 

KUMAR Bharat, Jacksonville, Fl.
Alter kicking his game to O leggy

redhead at a dorm mixer, Bharat
was ~nterrupted by Trevor, aka.
British Accent Guy. Women are

drawn to men with British accents,

The Gamekillers OBITUARIES April 2006

@amv Kill»?!

so all it took was a single "pardon"

to make his girl raise an eyebr0w
toward this game killing Redcoat.
This prompted Bharat to get riled by
calling Out the guy’s busted grill ol
yellowing bad teeth and comparing
the merits ol baseball over cricket.
The British Accent Guy smiled and
opened his mouth only to alter

bits ol

banter, allowing his accent to seep

small non-conlrontational
into the girl's brain like a piece ol
brilliant propaganda. tn the end,
the Brit would invade on Bharat's
territory with ease, taking the girl,
and leaving Bharat's game strewn
on the road as a piece ol collateral

damage.

SMITH Eric, Washington, DC

His game came to its demise in
the most unlikely ol circumstances.
While engaging in two ol his most
pleasurable pastimes: talking about
boats, with his other passion, a
beautilul girl who seemed genuinely
interested. They were even planning
to go out in his lS-loot dinghy, only
to hit unseen rocks in the lorm ol The
One Upper, the classic Gamekiller
who lives by the motto “Anything
you can do l can do better." Sure
enough, The One Upper claimed
to not only know boots, but he also
boasted ol captaining his own 40—
loot vessel. Eric tried to navigate to
the calmer waters ol car talk but was
run over again by The One Upper's
supposed vintage German roadster.
The tension quickly maunted, and
soon the two were engaged in a
ruthless game olone-upmanship. On
and on they went, seeing what the
other guy iust said and raising him.
When the smoke cleared, Eric had
won the gloatlest, but the girl was
nowhere to be laund. No one likes
a braggart Eric's game was last
seen drilting away towards the vast
sea ol loneliness in an undersized
boat,

 

FOX Jon, London, UK

tons game, beloved to many a

cheerleader and lacilitator ol the
me’nage ‘ ol 2003, was lairing
well at a Gold Coast club with a
delightlul pair ol sisters. That is
until the playboy predator and lull
time Gamekiller srmply known as
Kash Munni entered the picture. A
wellendowed socialite lamous lor
trashing 5»star hotel rooms, Kash
had traveled in lrom oil rich lands

 
 

(15mm Killrh

wearing expensive Italian loalers
and indoor sunglasses. Drinks were
bought lor willing and unwilling
recipients alike with his lamily's
which he
Haunted in the lorm ol an array ol

lartune, shamelessly
high status plastic. This caused Jan
to suddenly lose his cool and go on
the delensive by opening a tab at his
own, On his debit card. Alter three
rounds, lon's account was maxed.
Shortly alter he was dropped all
alone would Jan learn the hard way
that a woman's allection should
never be lor sale, and that many a
man has gone broke trying to prove
other