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ASK AUNT MARY HEROIC CUCUMBERS ‘
This article is being reprinted from _Th_e 1
Dear Aunt Mary, San Francisco Bay Guardian, July 29 - August
lam a nineteen year old lesbian. lfeel 5. 1987 issue (v.21 #4, page 5 where it ‘
that l have accepted my sexuality, and really appeared as a letter to the editor: it
would like to meet other lesbians, but addresses the issue of sex education in the
everytime i think about going to a meeting at schools.
GLSO, somehow I manage to talk myself out of Paul Anderson's letter to the editor in ‘
it. the July 15th issue of the Bay Guardian
Furthermore only my mother knows I am questioned my use of cucumbers as appropriate
gay, and ever since she found out, she has tools for teaching high school students the
been trying to convert me. protocol of successful condom use.
I really am lonely, and would very muck Mr. Anderson expressed concern about
like to meet someone special. Any the relationship of "normal" sized adolescent
suggestions? boys and cucumbers. He suggested zucchinis ‘
Lonely in Lexington as more realistic. (Perhaps this is a .
discussion better suited to the likes of Joe
Dear Lonely: Carcione, the legendary Greengrocer.)
Your problem is typical of many gays l have investigated the varieties of
and lesbians. However, you can't expect produce available for the condom lesson I
"someone special” to simply knock on your teach in my Family Life classes. l have found
door and say, "here I am!" Wouldn't it be that pickling cucumbers tend to be regarded
nice if someone would! Seriously though, you as demeaning - both the name and the
must take the initiative to meet someone or shriveled appearance. Bananas, of course,
expect to remain lonely. I highly recommend have appeal, but they are a bit fragile and
the GLSO Coffeehouse 8 Dance and the provide an unfair challenge to the classes
Lesbian Potluck as excellent opportunities to which come later in the day. Zucchinis are
meet other women. pleasantly exotic. evoking reveries about the
As far as your mother is concerned, this early Marcello Mastroianni, but they are not a
woman needs some education. Encourage her vegetable made to a standard. Zucchinis
to read A Family Matter and Now That You range from the delightfully elongated (but
Know, available at Joseph-Beth Booksellers, rather narrow) types to the monstrous
Sqecial Media, at the Lexington Public specimens (grown by my husband's familyl
Library. If she still has trouble dealing with which need at least four hands to properly
your orientation, remember that the problem is handle.
hers, not yours. Contact the Cayline at 231- Cucumbers have been wholly
0335 for counseling referrals is she is willing satisfactory. The size has not been
to seek help. challenged (many of my male students have
Now, get out there and socialize and judged them to be "just about right“ - claims
good luck! - Aunt Mary we have never sought to investigate). The
If you would like to write to Aunt Mary, use of cucumbers greatly reduces teen-agers'
send your letters to: Aunt Mary, c/o GLSO, boasts that "I'm too big for a teeny-weeny
PO Box 11471, Lexington, Kentucky 140575. condom." The cucumber's color neither favors
For a personal reply, include a stamped, self nor demeans any racial or ethnic group. They
addressed envelope. All names are strictly withstand day-long handling without losing
confidential. their integrity, and they can be recycled to
___.—_____ the homemaking classes for salads, soups, and
other uses.
Even if their size is a bit on the heroic
side, cucumbers help to capture the
imagination and hold the interest of both male
and female students. They also serve as an
inspiration to some. Several girls have found
new and verdant reasons for saying "no" to
sex.
Hene KeHy
San Francisco
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