xt7mcv4bs472 https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7mcv4bs472/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 2001-10-19 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, October 19, 2001 text The Kentucky Kernel, October 19, 2001 2001 2001-10-19 2020 true xt7mcv4bs472 section xt7mcv4bs472 Imam

Squtrrels

Menace or
Amusement?

 

In recent days. many

issues involving
squirrels have been
brought to my
attention. We walk to
class everyday and
see them lounging in
trees and scampering
about, but what do
they mean to
students? The lines
are clearly drawn and
sides are quickly
being divided. Do you
stand with or against
the squirrels?

The pro-squirrels faction
believes the squirrels
are our friendly
neighbors. They see
them as assets to our
community They give
the campus that
natural feeling and
provide
entertainment
possibilities to UK's
population. Jason
Omer. a computer
science sophomore,
was telling me about
a new sport in which
he hopes to involve
the rest of campus.

Squirrel fishing!

Yes, you heard me right,
squirrel fishing. I
realize the sport may
not be big in this
area. but you only
need to see what
other schools have
been doing to realize
the possibilities it
offers. Check out this
hilarious Web site:

www.eecs.harvard.edu/~
yaz/en/squirrel‘fishin
ghtml

On the other side of the
squirrel spectrum,
there is the hardcore
anti-squirrel
movement. Members
of this side refused
to comment on their
anti-squirrel
sentiment I do know
that this hatred of
squirrels stems from
many acts of campus
squirrel violence and
aggression -
violence that is
usually committed
for the sake of food,
There are numerous
documented cases of
this.
Scarysqmrrelorg has
many on file. In fact,
it has one from our
very own campus

wwwscarysgiiirrelorg/c
ampus/kentuckyhtml

ithink the essence of
squirreldom can best
be understood by
listening to people
who have dedicated
their lives to learning
what it means to be
a squirrel. This Video
takes a while to
download but it is
well worth the wait.

www.adcritic.com/conte
nt/eds-running-with-
the-squirrels.html

The issue is larger than
this campus. It spans
across the country.
Now you know. and
knowing is half the
battle. Where will you
be when the nuts
clear?

-Jared Whalen
rall_editor@hotmall.com

THE 411 ‘ New advances: 20 recipients will receive $3.8 million Wit"

To'nr.r‘i‘iiv.c n
wtra t tier

%
7.0 5.9

Perhaps it will be a
nice sunny day for bet-
ting on the ponies.

Kentucky
Kernel

VOL. 83108 ISSUE 3840
ESTABLISHED lN I892
INDEPENDENT SINCE l97i
News tips?

Call 257-I9l5 or write to
kernelOukyedu

 

Millions to improve
economy, research

Big bucks: Funds to improve Kentucky's economy, bring new business to area

By John Wampler

Associiiit EDITOR

There are plans for a new
economy brewing in the (Ntllllllllill'
wealth. and UK will play a huge
part in bringing these plans to life

to the tune of $866 million.

That is the budget for a llleveai'
plan aimed at enhancing universi
ty research. and in turn. improv
ing Kentucky‘s economy

The plan was prepared at the
request of Bill Hrundage. Keir
tucky's commissioner for the new
economy that was proposed in the
Kentucky Innovation Act of the
2000 (ieneral Assembly.

Improving research will help
draw new businesses to Kentucky.
which will keep more students in
the state. said I’K President Iiee
Todd

Cr "iSin
" g 51‘: .a'hu
‘3‘“;“ v“.- ;
T“ Ti“! ,.
(26¢

u, -' ., .1

\

“t

 

 

Nina Frazer stands with the UK Police's recently purchased 2001 Chevrolet Impala. The Impala was bought to replace a dam-
aged Ford Crown Victoria. Another Impala has been ordered, and the department In continue to purchase them as current

"It is the responsibility ol. the
university to not only educate our
students but also to influence the
economy in order to create iolis for
those who want to stay here." Todd
said

Todd explained that a iiiiiver
sity can be a significant player in
an area‘s economic growth Ile cit
ed Boston's Route lzti. an ill‘t‘l that
has a large number of hi tech com
panies in it. as an example

MIT and Harvard. Iioth strong
research universities. are in the
nearby vicinity. and have had an

influence on the development of

Route 125’. I'K can have an ell’ect
on Kentucky. much like .\IIT ’llltl
Harvard have had on Boston. Todd
said

In addition to attracting new
businesses. ioiitiniied research
will be necessary to keep the com

paiiies that are already in Ken
tucky from moving elsewhere.
Todd said

With some ol‘ the companies
that ill e already in Kentucky. such
as l,e.\'iiiark International and Toy
ota .\Iotor Manufacturing. there is

See ECONOMY on 6

Whorethemoneygoes

UK emphasized six areas to
develop:

Biosciences, Environmental and
Energy Technologies, Human Health
and Development, Information
Technology Infrastructure,

Materials Science and Manufacturing
Technologies and Human Capital and
New Economy Workforce Development

vehicles wear down. The Impala was purchased over the summer and is assigned to a dayshift patroler.

DOLLARS

UK, U of L receiving grant

for lung cancer research

to start statewide commitment to detection, diagnosis

By Emily Hagedorn

CONTRIBUTING WHIIIR

Millions of dollars taken from
tobacco companies will now fur
ther lung cancer research in the
Commonwealth. On Wednesday.
Gov Paul Patton took $3.8 million
front Kentucky's tobacco settler
ments to create grants for re?
searchers from [TX and I' of I.

As part of the Lung Cancer
Research Project. a program cre
ated in Kentucky's 2000 General
Assembly. this money will help
researchers discover new ad-
vances in the areas of early detec-
tion. diagnosis and treatment.

"This is the start of a
statewide commitment to lung

cancer research.” said Dr Alfred

(‘ohen director of the 17K Markm
(‘ancer ('enter With Dr lliil‘iilii’i
Miller. director of the James (in
barn Brown (‘ancer (enter at l' ot‘
L. he will oversee the direction ol
the grants

The money from the \t‘TIii'
ment will be (livided among 2o ri-
cipii-nts troin [K and I' of I. I)"
money will not bed vided equaln
as some programs are considered
to have higher priorities The\
Wlll be given more money. (‘ohi-ii
said

Along with contributing to
state and national awareness of
lung cancer. Cohen hopes thi-
grants Wlll help [7K receive recog
nition by the National Cancer In

,, The“

Student Newspaper at the Unrsivei

M I \i'llfi I'K will have to to
ciis on cancer control and create
progiams in other research areas
in order to be deSIgnaterl as a can
ier center that is recognized by
.\'f'I

In addition to the possibility
ot gaining an NFI designation. I'K
ma\ also increase its profits be
iaiise ofthe grants

Dr Edward Hirschowitz. one
of the I'K researchers awarded a
grant. \Illfl [K can rise the re
st'll‘l 1". money to generate :iddi
tional revenue

The more money a uniyersi
t\ gets ifor grantsi. the more mon
ex .t gets on top of it." he ex
plaxi‘ied

IIirshowitz said this researr h
is llillXil‘inITT

Ily driving this and focusing
See GRANTS on 6

Todd going to Germany
to promote education

UK President Lee
Todd leaves tomorrow for
Berlin. Germany. where
he will participate with
Kentucky Gov Paul Pat-
ton in the first Bilateral
American-German Gover.
nors Conference.

Rusty Cheiivront. Pat»
ton‘s press secretary. said
Todd is an authority on
higher education. Patton
serves as vice-chair of the
National Governors Asso»
ciation. which invited
Todd to join the US. dele~
gation.

Todd and Patton will
discuss economic develop-
ment and higher educa-
tion. Todd said education
plays an important role in
the health of any econo
my.

In addition to meeting
with German university
leaders. Todd will meet
with representatives from
Germany's two leading po
litical parties as well as
Chancellor Gerhard
Schroder.

Compiled by Staff erter
Curtis Tate.

New car?: UK Police saytlie Impala
drives pleasantly; more are-on the way

IyJImmineshltt

STAFF WRITER

The UK Police department has a new look this fall. It
comes in the form of a sleeker, more stylish police cruiser.

The department recently purchased a 2001 Chevrolet
Impala to replace a damaged Ford Crown Victoria.

Officer Bill Hayes has driven the new Impala and
says it‘s an improvement over the Crown Victoria. “ The
Impala is lighter. accelerates better and has better brak-

ing."

Nearly all of the vehicles owned by the department
are Crown Victoria cruisers. Officer Hayes said that will

change.

Another Impala has been ordered. and the depart-
ment will continue to purchase them as current vehicles
wear down. “We try to come up with a good plan before a
vehicle gets wrecked or falls apart," he explained. “We re-
place (the cars) as funds are available."

Many officers have had trouble getting comfortable in
Crown Victoria cruisers, Hayes said. adding that the
bucket seats in the new Impala are much more comfort-
able than the bench seats in the Crown Victoria cruisers.

“We‘re in cars eight. nine, ten. hours a day," Hayes

said. “It's our office.“

Improvements didn't come without a cost. Hayes said
the Crown Victoria cruisers purchased by the UK Police

SPORTS

department in the early ‘905 cost around 310.700. The new

SeeChNono

S UK announces hotline

to report misconduct

New program: ‘Comply Cats' encourages
general public to help prevent violations

By Travis Hubbard

ZPOQ’KC‘IM t {31’19

In an attempt to prewiat :‘ii-
‘iire improprieties I'K
vlihil'ilr‘ departiiiei‘.’ iiliiiiiiis
ti'atioii introdiiied .i new pro
grant to encourage the report
an: of v iolatioiis

Til“ iilll\"l‘\ii\ grit-s lint-lire
the .\'('.~\.\ infrai Illll‘l\ iomiiiit
toe Nov iii to illl‘lll.lil\ 'll'L’lli‘ li\
wise iriixi eriimg football virili
lions discovered in .I ii‘.ii.ii‘\

Whet‘. I wis in 'l i'til‘i‘»t-?‘«.l
‘ioii not long igo with one of
the sports writers they made
the comment that it seems like
eyerv it”: years I'K gets into
some kind of violations prob
lem.” said I'K President Lee
Todd

in the

ty of Knteuck , Len

Todd

I

and tin» pr igriin
‘I.i' .\'( .\:\
2\ li‘. t"\'
it: done
‘ iii‘.‘ ‘t‘ in: or

uni or presented ti

:‘tr‘ ii ‘ ‘4 inc iiitizt‘ .t‘er-

I‘ sii't‘a“ ..:‘.‘-. ’w.

lit-4g il;s.i;ii‘ioiiit

'.i- iiie lilii'll‘i: our football

'\'.-'.i? \is' Li-siri‘i that

winplw ‘iad

Inf.» 4' some

l\ Ion: l\‘ one or two

~‘i1il lili \ .\'Ilii-Yli‘ III

I'x‘. The comp];

to ill no“ gne our em

. . l‘ioi‘istei‘s~

ind general public an

iii-iiiie get information to its
as :‘izivn “dung identified."

tiniiiii'. (‘.its' “Ill be a

I tree ‘cLeplioiie number (Brit-L

See NCAAon 6

we:

. n
.l'i.

1" ii ‘.“t'\ that

'. .ll..l:".'li‘.\

mam-s

 

 THE LINE

3%

1977

Year of Cats’ last
Victory in Athens, Ga

525

'Yards Jared torertzen
passed tor !.1st
season in 34 30 08%
to Georgia serond
Wtos’ e Kit” history

4.7

Uh s we! iqev v.1‘in oe'
rtusli tits season up
how 411 per tittiy in
iCUt‘ am: \Pt'J'ltI
{test .n WC

447

Rushing yards by HM
bail M1158 Smith
who won't play .:1 the
UK dame be: arise .it
d”"‘.1ll|‘v

‘Jared
has
earned
the
Chance
to
startf'

- Guy Morris, UK head
coach on placrnq
Jared Lorenzen at the
helm of the offense.

 

 

CATSEXTRA

2 FRIDAY, OCTOBER I9, 2001

.GAMEY

l KENTUCKY 11:11th

Lorenzen to guide UK again

 

In .3
PHOIO riiiiiiisriin

 

UGA receiver Terrence Edwards will try to take advantage of UK’s

Changing back: Old starter back on the field
as the Cats take on No.17 Georgia in Athens

By Steve Jones
M‘tl’tlAN' \I‘IfiWISUAllY Hymn)

In the ongoing 1111. rrtt -rh: ll k tontrou rs_\ tli. it I1. is flooded sports
t.ilk show i. ttlltt w ixes ind w 1111 tooler (llllt hit ttIlt‘nMW‘(titti'ttlllli
tor Brent Pt‘ilSt‘ s .‘tltpltl it l1 .ig.iirist No 17 Georgia Saturday will he
out with the old 11nd 111 with the old,

Sophoiriore .Irired Loren/ten. who started every giirne in 211111) 11nd
the seiisoii opener this \t'fll :igziinst Louisville. l1;is.ig.‘iin reelnirried
his spot tinder renter t‘rorii redshir't t‘reshnurn Shrine Boyd

"The way he linndled the situzition. he wiis very nurture." l't‘ttse
s.iid rihout Lorenzen‘s time on the henrh. "There were people s‘.‘l\'ll‘.L1.
‘lle mid this and he s:rid tl1.it.' lint lie r‘ezilh never wavered ”

Loren/en's third quarter insertion into lrist week‘s gzirne :igninst
liSl' sparked the (‘rits (l in. It I) to .‘1 near upset l’erise szlltl Loren/en
hxiil .i diil'erent rnentnlitr :igrrinst the Tigers

"l‘he thing I snw iii the game w:is thzit he played to win .1 tootlmll
gaine. rather than heating Shrine out "

Loren/en threw tor 1 to \:irtls :ind two totiehdowns‘ in ill ininntes
.ig.iirrst liSl'

Loren/en spent the first h:ili'oi' the gzirne ne\t to Purse rolling in
Mars and diseussing routes

Lorenzen sziitl tlizit helped when he .‘lt‘Ill.’lll_\' got on the held

“I knew wl1.it tl't'.’ts’el expeeted from me." Loren/en s.iid

l‘erise .‘igi‘eed their time on the sidelines was it key

“lie was :ietii.ill\ trVing to e\eeute the I)l£t\‘ helore Shunt- ever
snapped it "

Loren/err ll.’1tl :1 field day :igriiiist the Bulldogs liist war He
hurried I't;.\1-l 1. it 11 up and down t‘oinrnonwezilth Stadium tor BUB
\‘(ll‘tlS

Despite th.it etloi't the sei'oliil hest passing mam
l_terlortn.inee in I‘UllIt‘I't‘lltt‘ liis'tor‘V the t :its tam 11mm
It‘ll {I .‘III .‘tt’vt i-«i

liorenxen s;iitl he doesn't expert to see the W: ..‘o
s.iine \‘:ird.ige gained this year on the road min were. =14 at:

“It's .1 t‘trlllitlt'It'l'» ilitierent delense this sedumm‘:
tear.” he s:iiil "'l‘lie_\'re more aggressive this "('MM'I‘I'MI '0
\'t‘.’ll‘ llrist \‘t‘lll‘. the\ giust plriyed zone on us Any
liodr Hill pl;i\ good :rgninst :1 zone ”

Loren/en t‘lit‘tl liziwg detensire end ('linrles (ll'ltlll .‘I\ his ni;iiii
ohs‘tnrle \itiu'drn

"lle i=.1\\‘es‘orrre We ll.‘l\'t‘ to kind ot'stzn‘ .‘l\\‘.’l\‘ troni liiiri liei‘niise
we know how hig 1 pl l\ in: iker lie is " I oiert/eir snid oi (ir'nnt. who
lIJI‘s lire t;1rkles tor iloss iii his lirst foiirg '.iiries

liorenxen still he hopes heing h. it k in the linein will help to end
1111 1‘. its' lilg inn Blit' losing strerik

lnr e1 st: lllt to tin. lll\ get h. it k out there hut liopetii if»; this will

NET PROFITS

Cats ‘kill'
Butler in
four games

By Melanie Curtsinger

RlAll WRI’HJ

'l‘lie l'ls' \‘olleyhrill team till-7. 34) took
.1 hrenk t'i'orn eonl'erenee :ietion. defeating
the Butler Bulldogs Thursday night (it
Memorial (‘oliseurn

Kentuekv opened up strong early
.‘ltlillll\I the non eoni‘erent‘e foe. Burk-to-
hm k kills i‘roni seltltit‘ April Bzirnhorst put
the (Hits tip 18 11%. and after :1 Butler time-
out. l‘lx’ held onto the lead. winning 30-215.

I'K struggled in tlie seeond gnrne.
tolling helrind B I2 The Hits t'or‘eed them
selves hziek in tlie gziine after 21 Kristen
Britt kill tied the seore tit 17. The eontest
stored elose the rest oi. the way. (ind :1 UK
liloek pulled out the 3038 (‘rit \‘it‘tot‘y.

Still. the Bulldogs (‘7 7 it it Horizon
Intrigue) w‘ere resilient

l'lx' .‘llitl Butler took turns with the lend
111 the third rind were tied :it 28 ltile in the
gorne, hel'ore the Bulldogs took eontrol Illltl
noteherl :1 win. iii :iti

Butler held onto its momentum in
tfillllt‘ tour. until :i Snrnh Spinner kill gzive
l‘l\' its lriggest lend zit LII 17

‘\ Butt ktll put the (‘rits hnek up LIB-127
.inil I'lx' went on to ul'dl) their third (‘ltrse
win. til 3% Luring I'K the It, 1 \‘It‘IUI'V over
the Visitors

Spinner. Butt :ind Bzirnlrorst lilttl lltill'
hie ilorihles in the ninteh. with Bornhorst
eoinirig one hloek shy of .'i triplodouhle

Sophomore setter Kristi Kelley“ in just
her third st 111 suite the loss of senior
st.” ter \\Iritne\ Sample to :1 broken finger.
:irldetl 11:1 :issists to the tezirn.

“We are eontiniiing to grow with our
new setter Braden soul of Kelley.

The eonrh said the inziteh was :in tip
poi Illllli} tor IIK to keep itnpr‘ovrng.

“This was 111st grerit eornpetitive pres
sure that Will enri't get in pr‘nt‘tiee." Braden

 

pass defense. UK ranks last in the SEC in passing yards allowed. 1h. inge soinethrn 1:1 up 1nd we ll get .iwin out oi it «sud What :1 great light “

 

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Phone 15! WIS I (mail kernelaiteyahootom

Scene

MEIAPHORS OF LIFE

Compelling ‘House' takes on
tragedy and family values

 

but. win:

I'. '

Illness sparks catharsis: Kevin Kline's George must make amends
to his family after he loses his job and faces a terminal sickness

\i ii liill Iii IIii iii Iii;1lil;.'I
Hilt‘IlIlsi iii iIilw
iiiiiii his. inli
[hit my this Illil‘l Heinz)» is
llll'Ii'I‘y .i ineIi iii iiiiIiii lie is
,ilii't‘ixiii‘ti I‘i'iiiii his ex nih-
Riihiii «lii'istiii \wit 'l'iiniiixisi.
his II‘I'IliILfI‘ siiii \‘llll lilIiVileii
IIl!i*-Itll\t‘lll IiilI iiiiisi HI 'ill.

lilii‘s

twinge is I"! :3:

By Emily Rosendall

'slAH (Rilll‘

Must lliii\’ll'\ i:ill illiil exiti-
writes 'l‘hey I'lill he iiiiiii1. siiii.
edgy ill‘ sliiiekitiu (Inlt' :i hxiiiil
iii! (if I]l()\'lt*‘s l‘\'t‘l' .‘lt'Illl'W’ ilii»
l'Jll‘t‘It‘JlitiI lililkllitl tlieii'1'ie1x
ei's feel iill of these I‘lliliiliills

lint /.i/e its .»i HUI/\l' is siii h mm...“

:i thIt' i laughed l t‘l'lWI l \Vhiiti lyriiigsi IllilIs lllli i}. .i
Wis shaken when (‘Ilill'llt‘Il‘l‘Is in i... in.» g. in, ’i....vu \ ziml
III/e (IS A Hume l'Ii‘Jll‘IV i'i‘iisseil .mig I1,l1.l text illiiliiii». n. |.;.,
lines l‘.’ll‘l'I\' l‘l‘llksl‘II in movies i... wt» it... Ill iii. Ii’ii i... ii” II
iiimle I'pi' pnpiilni‘ lllllll'ili I’iliI w.“ atxiiiimi vi. .(.. i,.»..,g1..
iiirist Hill”. the film's ititensit1‘ (lifllls in m..- .i..;n,., iiii' ii...
kept me (III the edge (II iiit' \f'ili .1..1\ii Illillsl‘ ii-li It! him h: his

(ii‘til‘w MJIHHI (I\'"\lll ,‘lIillsl‘t'l‘IJIIlt'l IlllIlIII‘I iiiIiiiiltI
Kline) pl l\\ i iiiiil Ne 'e il. irli IIII' Illilisi' hi Ills tIi'i illii=
J‘lIlsill iii liiti it 1\li«i ie liisi xiii llii‘ iii\i..

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r [can I IIIIIIHI ilt

 

Ilwllt IIISEBI

Kevin Kline stars
alongside Kristin
Scott Thomas. Hay-
den Christensen
and Jena Malone in
life as a House.

W010 FURNISHED

iiiiist rliriiiiiitii' element iii this
liliii Him ue‘s elTei't (Ill hiiiiseif‘
IlllII an iliuse iii'iiiiiiil him. espe
iiIiIIk' Itliiiiii. Wits III\H Him
(iI'IIlllL' iii Mitt h

'l‘he hesi lMl'I iii this film
'i\Il\ iis IItIIlI‘\IV Iii LIII’ AS :I
Hui/1.x iliieiiiii' Il‘Wlli Wiiiklei'
«hm-imperi the i'hI'iinrtei‘s well.
shun ins: '.'|l‘V\'5'l'\ not only V'.Ilili
weiiierl in he, hilt :ilsii whiit :ii'
iii,iiii, =.i.;is,e1‘en ii that reality
this in k1tIii'rl (.i‘ iii‘ii'riiiixeiitiriii
,il

enlists the help ml his iiiii'nii
\"liIllill.l|, initze lilieil siill Min
«l.» iil1' lines li'iI 1i. iiii anything
inilii 11H li iiis i ith (l .iiil is i1A ii
iiiiitt Illini'riiiifi It lyiiii' (i. \Il
iiIiIlli lliiitIl‘ 'II li1';iiir it it \ iiii
is. iiiti‘iuiieii ii1 Meniui-‘s next
rlniii' lii'lL'IlIHil‘s liileeii i.\l:ii'\
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Grade: A6

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UKMEDICAL PHOTOGRAPHY

Serving all of your

photographic

needs here on
campus

We provide:
0 Custom Film (E-6, C-14. B&W) _
- Print Processing (Custom Color, B&W)
. Color Quick Process 8. Print
° Studio Shots 8. Portrait Shots
' High Resolution Digital imaging

work done on campus same day in most
cases and 4 days on custom printing

Hours:
Monday - Friday 8:00am - 5:00pm
(open through lunch time)

405 Health Science Learning Center
760 Rose Street

‘ Lexington KY 40536-0232

t5 Phone: (859) 323-5898

www.mc.uky.edu/map

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WPf’k Hf ()( [ti/ml 75 .77 .7007

FREE "
4 . - ' http //wwv1iikv Pdu/C ampus
Calendar 257 8867

MEEI’INGS
’Intervnrstty Chrutmn Fullr- uwsnin 1 9
F H

ACADEMIC
Niles Gallery Series Musv ii iii Beethoven
Brahms and Gershwun H .‘r/wfirr' Mirkpmz Pmnn

'La Remittance Iranr “<92
SPORTS

'I’ne Kwon Do pr»! 'I' u
SPECIAL EVENTS
’anl Party :-

ARTS/MOVIES
'Gnludet University EIh-hit History l'hrmiqh Dent Eyes

I20
21

ARTS/MOVIES

'Don Giovanni "i . u I I .i 'r , I.” :.-...V,.I/....
Seating (all ‘t r m I Hi, {'7' lQ' i

'Gnludot University Exhibit, History Through
Deaf Eves
IIail {viii
SPORTS
UK at Georgia Football Game

“Tao Kwon Do practice, " ‘ 7’1; n A x v ’.

:Iis'l»iifxi i'/

MEETINGS
Universrty Worship Sen/Ice

'Discovering God Together for International
Students ' ‘ ' x I,
ARTSI’MOVIES

'Snlton Concert Band

' ‘ -. til, I

UK Parcussinn Ensemble Cnnrert
INTRAMURALS/RECREATIOIV

’UK Aikido Club '

UK Judo Club, -

 

 

 

 

 Editorial Board

Jenny Robertson, dialogue editor
Clay McDaniel, asst. dialogue editor
Ashley York, editor in chief

John Wampler, associate editor

Amanda Thompson, senior staff writer
Tim Staley, senior staff writer
Jennifer Kasten, at-large member
Josh Sullivan, at-large member

 

Prrday yuks

Late night
comedians

"There was another
health scare in New
York City yesterday
up in the Bronx.
There was a choking
incident up in the
Bronx It turned out
Just to be the
Oakland Athletics."

"We‘re learning more
about Osama bin
Laden. His father
was married l6
times, and he has
five Wives, i think
we're getting to the
root of his intense
anger. And they say
bin Laden never
spends the night in
the same place
twice. No. wait
a minute.
that's Clinton

"it looks like now the
military action is
taking effect. They
think that bin
Laden's
organization Is
starting to break
down. Today
satellite photos
actually show the
sand fleas are
leavrng his beard."

"Mayor Giuliani
continues to say we
should go on and
live our lives
normally So today I
took him up on it. I
sat in my house all
day in my
underwear and
watched 'Ricki
Lake.‘ Things are
back to normal
for me."

- Davrd Letterman

"Eleven members of
the Washington
Redskins Monday
were exposed to a
mysterious white
powder they had
never seen before ~
the end zone."

"The FBI is urging all
Americans to
beware of any
letters or packages
that have badly
misspelled words.
Man, this IS gomg to
be terrible news for
the rap industry."

"The FBI is releasing
information on how
to spot a suspicious
package. Like, for
example. if a
suspiCious man
offers you a
package to hold.
you're in danger.
But if a suspicious
man offers to hold
your package.
you're in
Hollywood."

"People are wondering
what will happen to
Afghanistan when
we're finished
fighting there. I'm
Sure there are plans
to remed the
country, and a lot of
times with
rebuilding comes a
name change. These
are some possible
name changes the
government has
been mulling over:
Halfghanistan,
Pothole-istan,
Jenniferanistan.
Assbackwardstand,
Bye-bye-
Talibanstan. Ass-
Kicked-islan."

- Jay Leno

"In an interView
yesterday, members
of the band Anthrax
admitted that due
to recent events
their name is 'not
so cool.‘ Members
of the band Anthrax
also said their
current jobs at
Pizza Hut are 'not
so cool'"

- Conan O'Brien

-Solrce: Abe-Morn

-Conolled by
clay lchonlel

l

,.

FRIDAY_ OcterR i9 2001i kcnruckv itEniiEL

 

 

 

 

L...__..-_ _ .. .....

 

 

READERS' FORUM

Media prudent, not violated, in censoring bin Laden

Robert lituiiiinier's toliiniii on Tuesday was overly discriminatory against
the l'tiited States government

"The details of ll