Real contest

Some deep
thoughts?

This was taken from an
actual newspaper
contest where
entrants age 4 to IS
were asked to imitate
"Deep thoughts by
Jack Handey."

0 When I go to heaven, I
want to see my
grandpa again. But he
better have lost the
nose hair and the old-
man smell. Age 5

O I once heard the voice
of God. It said
“Vrrrrmmmmm.”
Unless it was just a
lawn mower. Age ll

O Give me the strength
to change the things I
can, the grace to
accept the things I
cannot, and a great
big bag of money.
Age l3

0 I don't know about
you, but I enjoy
watching paint dry. I
imagine that the wet
paint is a big
freshwater lake that
is the only source of
water for some tiny
cities by the lake. As
the lake gets drier,
the population gets
more desperate, and
sometimes there are
water riots. Once
there was a big fire
and everyone died.
Age 13

a I like to go down to
the dog pound and
pretend that I’ve
found my dog. Then I
tell them to kill it
anyway because I
already gave away all
of his stuff. Dog
people sure don't
have a sense of
humor. Age 14

o l believe you should
live each day as if it
is your last, which is
why I don't have any
clean laundry
because, come on,
who wants to wash
clothes on the last
day of their life?
Age 15

0 Whenever I start
getting sad about

 

   

December 8, I998

, - e ......... s‘ u‘MM'o .x. s. . .i“

TUESDAYKENTUCKY

ERNEL

 

 

 

 

By John Wampler
STAFF WRIYER

Mother of two tells of her troubles in raising
kids while attending college at the same time

doesn‘t have much time to her-
self." said her brother Eli. an 8th
grader at Jessie Clark Middle
School.

Yet Wallace said she feels it
will all be worth it.

“I think it will change their

but he doesn‘t want to wear it."
After spending up to 20 min-

where I am in my life,
I think about the last
words of my favorite
uncle: “A truck!"

Age IS

it It sure would be nice

if we got a day off for
the president's
birthday, like they do
for the queen. Of
course, then we
would have a lot of
people voting for a
candidate born on
July 3 or December
26, just for the long
weekends. Age 8

Every weekday. 29 year-old
Kimberly Wallace. a second-year
student in the business and tech-
nology program at Lexington
Community College. gets up be-
tween 7115 am. and 7:30 am. to
get her two boys. Branden. 12.
and Logan. 2. ready for school.

Branden presents no prob—
lems going to school. but the
“nightmare.“ for Wallace is try-
ing to get Logan ready for
preschool. He is living up to the
”terrible two‘s.‘ often refusing to
wear certain clothes or eat breakv
fast.

“He hates to put a jacket on."
Wallace said. “It's cold out now.

utes just to get Logan to wear his
jacket. attention is turned to
breakfast. a second ordeal.

Wallace said that on occasion
she has to fix three different
meals before Logan will eat any-
thing. The whole morning roti-
tine can take from an hour to an
hour and a half.

Taking Logan to and from
Kindercare preschool. picking up
Branden from his numerous ac-
tivities (basketball. baseball and
football at Southern Middle
School) and going to classes from
11 am. until 4:45 pm. on Tues.
days and Thursdays makes for
quite a schedule for her.

“It's pretty hard on her. She

lives to see how hard I worked
and how important an education
really is." she said.

She said Branden is already
considering which colleges he
would like to attend.

Before deciding to attend col
lege. Wallace had worked as a
self-taught paralegal at SCS ln-
corporated in Fort Meyers. Fla.
and then at Matthews and Miles
Law Firm in Shelbyville. Two
years ago. though. she decided to
take the next step to fulfill a life-
long goal.

”lt‘s always been my dream
to be an attorney." she said. “It's

See SINGLE on 3 3))

0 As you make your way
through this hectic
world of ours, set
aside a few minutes
each day. At the end
of the year, you'll
have a couple of days
saved up. Age 7

- Source:
http://users.aol.com/
funnyfirm/bits.htm

-Ron Norton

.. ......n ma...

 

 

um moon | mm STAFF
WWalacephyedtheplanowfthherZ-year-oldson.Logan.WIaceoflenhastmhkthtgwdhythnetospeMwlfltherkflshecalseofschool.

Single responsibility

Jilin)?
Married couples
discuss their
troubles with
being married
and going to
school | 3

Graduates say
that finding a
relationship

because meeting

places are
geared toward
undergrads | 4

 
 
 
 
  
 

 

 

DDIBAQILBQLLMD.

Tomorrow's By Matt Hey

weather
Hi to
Keepin' with the sea-

son. it will be cool and
mostly cloudy Wednesday.

Kentucky
Kernel

VOL. ”04 ISSUE 872

 

ESTABLISHED IN 1892
INDEPENDENT SINCE 1971

 

News tips?

Call: ZS7-l9l5 or write:
kernel®pop.uky.edu

l

-v_._.._-‘
\

SPONTSDAILV EDIlOR

As the decision as to where UK
would end up for its first bowl game
since 1993 moved along slowly. even
players found themselves score
board watching.

During the two weeks since UK
played its last regular season game
in Knoxville. Tenn. against Ten
nessee many surrounding the UK
program had been surmising about
where the I' -4 team would end up.

Would it be at the Chik- fil- a
Peach Bowl in Atlanta against a 9-2
Virginia team who had lost only to
Florida State and Georgia Tech?

Or would be at the Outback
Bowl in Tampa. Fla. against a Big
Ten Conference representative like
Michigan or Penn State?

Wait. hold on a second. If every-
thing fell the wrong way for the

 

   

Wildcats react
to reached goal

Despite comments to the contrary, Wildcats were
worried about which bowl would invite Big Blue

(.‘ats. they could even find them-
selves in Nashville for the Music
City Bowl or Shreveport. La. for
the Independence Bowl.

The key for [K was having the
Southeastern Conference get two
teams into the Bowl Championship
Series. When both UCLA and
Kansas State lost last Saturday. one
had to wonder if Florida would be
bumped to make room for one of
them.

”We were worried about that."
senior defensive lineman Marvin
Major said of those two teams los
ing. We wanted the Outback Bowl
bad."

So bad. that the Cats were even
cheering for archrival Tennessee. a
team they had just lost 59-21 to sev-
eral weeks ago.

SeelOVlotM»)

 

 

 

PNOVO FUNNISNED

CrdeoeotIlphstfhelgemaseWIduthTmm

 

. .1. , thumwmabwfi,qfl¢% Imp“. ‘..

Cat taming

Indiana will try
and erase
recent loses
when it takes
on UK tonight I 4

http://www.kykernecom

 

JZQLlClIALKi

Alcohol
mulled at
forum

Students voice concerns
to police, UK administrators

By Zach Atklns
CONTRIBUTING WRITER

UK students discussed the new alcohol
policy and its impact on surrounding
neighborhoods with police and UK officials
last night at William T. Young Library.

The forum. sponsored by associate pro-
fessor Patrick Mooney's sociology class. in-
cluded speakers from Transylvania Neigh»
borhood Association. 3 Lexington Fayette
Urban County police officer. Student Gov»
ernment Association President Nate
Brown. Joseph Burch. vice-president of
University Relations. and the president of
the Lexington Landlord's Association.

Despite the guest list. only a few stu-
dents showed up to discuss the policy.

Shannon McAfee. an undeclared senior
in the class and a former Sigma Alpha Ep-
silon fraternity member. coordinated the
forum.

"We are trying to get students to come
out and voice their opinions on the mat»
ter." he said.

McAfee said the most positive outcome
of the forum would be for [K to open its
eyes and see that students are really no
comfortable with this policy,

"I think the problem with the sur-
rounding neighborhoods was a result of the
fraternity houses going dry. A big part of
fraternities is coming together and drink.
ing. and they ‘re taking that away from us."
McAfee said.

See FORUM on 2 Ti W

 

.DIERCQMINGDDDSL

Berryman
finds humor
in life’s work
Disabled educator gives her

students all no matter the cost
By Ann Mullins

m#*

Joann Berryman. an educator at [K
for the last 34 years who retires this month.
spent a typical afternoon recently in her
Taylor Education Building office.

The sound of an advising session drift-
ed out the door. The phone rang. The traffic
in and out of her office was steady as stu—
dents dropped off papers and exams;

Inside the office are stacks of papers.
files and books left strewn about but within
easy reach. Ceramic Guernsey cows. like
the ones she and her husband raise on
their Jessamine (‘ounty fartn. graze the top
of the filing cabinets among family photos.

Every so often. the soft whli‘ of her mo-
torized wheelchair is heard as Berryman
lips in and out of Room 119. checking for
her next apimintment.

When Berryman was a student at [K
in the late 1930s. she remembers adopting
football players to carry her in her wheel-
chair up the stairs of the old White Hall
Classroom Building

She chuckles as she recalls the narrow
stairways that kept turning as you went
up.

“it wasn‘t so bad." Beri‘yinan said. “I
knew a lot of people oti campus and they
were forever helping me."

Handicapped parking spaces didn't ex
ist on campus either Parking ollicials cre
ated l'K's first handicapped parking spot
for Berryinan by digging a hole in the
ground and putting a sign in front of it.

Berryman has seen a lot of change in
accessibility since the early days. long be;
fore the Americans with Disabilities Act
became law.

Angela Ready. a special education se-
nior. is one of the students Berryman ad-
vises.

When Ready was in Australia last fall.
Berryman often emailed her about new
requirements to get into the education

See IENRYNAN on 2 >>>

 

Lexington

 

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